Why do parents hate to medicated kids with serve ADHD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My long-time boyfriend had been medicated for ADHD as a child in the 90's, starting in elementary school. He often said that he credited that with laying the path to his future drug addiction. As an adult, he was still angry at his doctor for not telling him to avoid mixing coffee with Adderall, which he saw as the turning point where he started abusing drugs.

I know at least two other adults who have no thanks to their parents for getting them on stimulants as children.

That is a ridiculous excuse for addiction. In fact studies show that unmedicated adhd is at far higher risk for addiction

Sounds like you are denying the lived experiences of adult addicts whose experiences have led them to believe being medicated as children caused harm. Sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m an educator who has had a lot of conversations over the years with parents of confirmed or suspected ADHD children about medicating versus not. In the no medication camp I’ve heard a lot of concerns about side effects and over-medicalization of “normal” behavior. Few folks seem to mention the possible effects of not medicating ADHD. I’ve also talked to a lot of parents who see their own behavior in their kids. If the parent was unmedicated for ADHD, they often believe their kid can also make it through “just fine.” Also, some folks just don’t believe that ADHD is real. They’ll debate you on the whole premise of the disorder. They see it as natural behavior, especially amongst boys. They may also refer to labels for this and other challenges as a “crutch.”

+1
I’m a psychologist and one of the main reasons I also hear is concern about the side effects of the medication.

Many families try meds for their child any then stop because their kid “lost his appetite and stopped eating” or they didn’t like his “ blunted personality” on the medication.

Are you suggesting those aren't valid reasons for stopping drugs? They are.

I’m not questioning the validity of their reasons. I’m just adding to the PP’s list of common reasons parents choose not to medicate their child with ADHD.

Well the PP was the overtly questioning the validity of the reasons parents gave for not medicating, so it sounds like you actually are questioning their validity, especially when you put them in scare quotes.

And it's attitudes like this, btw, that makes parents wary of medicating their kids, because when teachers and psychologists treat even valid concerns as just unreasonable excuses, and push and push to medicate these kids without any willingness to try other options first, it makes you suspicious of the whole system.

Look, I’m sorry for the confusion I was just agreeing with PP that those are some reasons parents choose on to medicate their children. And I added a few more to the list.

I have heard many parents say the things I mentioned and the things that the educator brought up in her post. That’s it.

Well you misread the PP. She is criticizing the parents who choose not to medicate and arguing that the reasons they give are not valid. She is painting them as anti-science idiots who don't even believe in ADHD at all. And you are agreeing with her.

There is a huge difference between a parent who doesn't think ADHD exists, or does not view the problems caused by ADHD as problems, and someone who will go through the trouble of getting a diagnosis, medicate their kid, and then finds that the effect of medication creates other problems they can't live with. Those parents are not the same. The parent you tells you that ADHD is a fake disorder and that their child's disruptive, sometimes dangerous behavior is normal is in denial. The parent who has actually put their kid on medication but is now telling you that the side effects are just as bad as the ADHD itself, is actually asking for help. If you can't tell the difference between these two parents, you shouldn't be in the feel of child psychology.

Also, the tone of the comments from educators is troubling too. Specifically the comments about ADHD or "presumed ADHD." I have a kid who was diagnosed with ADHD by her kindergarten teacher. We had her evaluated and she doesn't have ADHD, but she does have anxiety. When we explained this to the school and asked for an IEP, the teacher rolled her eyes at us. She was convinced she knows what ADHD looks like. What she didn't understand (because she was an absolute idiot, I'm just going to say it) is that she was exacerbating our kids anxiety and triggering what appeared to her to be ADHD behavior, by yelling and shaming in the classroom, behaviors that are a massive trigger for my kid's anxiety. She didn't get this, and likely still doesn't, even though it's several years later and my kid is doing great at the same school, with teachers who DO get it. She has still never been diagnosed with ADHD and has never been medicated for anything. Not because I don't believe in medication, but because I didn't leap to the conclusion that a 5 year old struggling in a K classroom needs to be on stimulants without exploring the situation any further.

THIS is the argument against medication in kids. It absolutely may be necessary for some kids, and it might work well for some kids. But it's also viewed as an easy out by people who simply lack the patience or compassion to work with kids who may have a broad range of neurological divergence or behavioral issues. It's not a last resort but it's only appropriate in some situations. So this attitude of "omg these idiot parents who refuse to medicate their children" doesn't help your cause, if the goal is to actually get kids the help they need. Responding instead with curiosity and empathy would be a great start.

[Anonymous]

I’m the PP who has been in parent-school meetings. I’m not taking a stance on the concerns I hear shared with me, merely reporting them.

When I hear concerns about side effects or undesirable behavior changes in children, it’s often from parents who have tried meds for their children. They’re not anti-medication per se. They’re usually trying to find the med, dose, or combination of meds that works best before they decide to give up on medicating.

It’s a journey, and it’s not an easy journey. Again, just repeating what one person has been told over about 15 years in the field. Can’t tell you if it’s representative or not.

[Anonymous]

I am medicating my kid but I hate the process. The psychiatrist throws meds at the kid to see what sticks, then keeps adding more meds and increasing the dosage, despite the reports that everything is fine with minor hiccups. She is not interested in any nuance and seems to work from a script. When I try to push back, the psychiatrist makes me feel so guilty and anti-science. If I were, would I come to the psychiatrist to begin with?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m an educator who has had a lot of conversations over the years with parents of confirmed or suspected ADHD children about medicating versus not. In the no medication camp I’ve heard a lot of concerns about side effects and over-medicalization of “normal” behavior. Few folks seem to mention the possible effects of not medicating ADHD. I’ve also talked to a lot of parents who see their own behavior in their kids. If the parent was unmedicated for ADHD, they often believe their kid can also make it through “just fine.” Also, some folks just don’t believe that ADHD is real. They’ll debate you on the whole premise of the disorder. They see it as natural behavior, especially amongst boys. They may also refer to labels for this and other challenges as a “crutch.”

+1
I’m a psychologist and one of the main reasons I also hear is concern about the side effects of the medication.

Many families try meds for their child any then stop because their kid “lost his appetite and stopped eating” or they didn’t like his “ blunted personality” on the medication.

I mean, those are valid concerns.

Parents are put in such an impossible situation here, now that medicating even preschool age kids is considered standard. It has created an expectation that parents WILL medicate, especially if the school says it's needed.

But imagine for a moment that you are the parent of a 5 yr old who goes on meds and stops eating and growing. At 5. Or a previously enthusiastic, bright, happy kid who suddenly acts withdrawn and disinterested. You are really going to sit there and tell me that those parents are irresponsibility ble for stopping medication?

Do you actually care about children or do just care about classroom management?

It's such a slippery slope. I read so many comments here about not liking those side effects, to then laying on additional drugs on top of those to address those symptoms. Our children should not be so drugged up like that, especially in elementary school. So many low intelligence, under-educated teachers pushing these drugs instead of working to change the system to make it more suitable for this range of learners--many of whom are brilliant but never given the chance to be successful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My long-time boyfriend had been medicated for ADHD as a child in the 90's, starting in elementary school. He often said that he credited that with laying the path to his future drug addiction. As an adult, he was still angry at his doctor for not telling him to avoid mixing coffee with Adderall, which he saw as the turning point where he started abusing drugs.

I know at least two other adults who have no thanks to their parents for getting them on stimulants as children.

That is a ridiculous excuse for addiction. In fact studies show that unmedicated adhd is at far higher risk for addiction

Sounds like you are denying the lived experiences of adult addicts whose experiences have led them to believe being medicated as children caused harm. Sad.

The fact is that studies have shown zero difference in risk for drug addiction between medicated and unmedicated ADHD. There is a reason that the vast majority of adults who were forced to take stimulants as children and teens don't continue on them as young adults. It is a dreadful experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have nothing else to do other than watch instagram reels and then come to an anonymous internet forum to start flaming about it?

People have trepidation about giving psychiatric meds to underage children, especially when they don't know how side effects will unfold in each specific case. People have it hard having to parent SN kids in this society with little to no community supports and limited acceptance of neurodiversity.

ADHD specifically is often seen as a character or parenting failure because of how it presents. Not medicating or medicating can be judged by relatives, teachers, etc. Leave everyone be, their children, their choices, their social media feed (which is probably crafted to create outrage and increase views).

I agree until it affects other people. You have a right to parent your child however you please until it prevents my child from accessing a safe and appropriate education.

What percentage of medicated kids are preventing the rest of class from accessing a safe and appropriate education?
And why are they legally allowed to continue terrorize the class?

[Anonymous]

We are two ADHD parents with an ADHD kid. Neither of us had ever been medicated until recently when my spouse was in a parent-child ADHD research study. Finding a pharmacy with meds in stock and getting prescriptions called in on the right day and then getting across town to pick up the medication each month was incredibly stressful (perhaps this is easier for people who don't have ADHD?). While on meds, my spouse was on a mental rollercoaster with amazing focus on medication days and zero focus on breaks. We are hoping to teach our child our own coping strategies to at least make it through elementary school without being on a rollercoaster like that.