Why do parents hate to medicated kids with serve ADHD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree the risk of addiction is greater without medication because they turn to self medication as soon as possible and its the first time their brains have ever been quiet so of course its addictive. Taking stimulants that are needed does not lend to drug abuse.

However, some families do have legitimate side effect issues and are unable to find medication that works. So that could be why. But I will never understand the parents who just refuse to try. Like, you know your kid has a medical issue and you know this medication helps most people with the same issue, and you just, wont try? I cannot understand that at all.

You should actually dive into medical research instead of passing off as fact myths that you have read here or on CHADD. There’s a good reason you don’t understand. It’s called education and critical thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a very complex issue and it’s not as simple as the parents are anti medicine or in denial about their child’s behavior.

Giving stimulants to children is a big deal.

I’ve also seen similar effects with exercise—so giving medication can feel like the “easy” or “lazy” way out. When my ADHD nephew joined a year round swim team with daily practices was the year that he finally was able to focus and finally turned things around. Before that he’d done soccer with 3 practices a week but that wasn’t nearly enough. I know my brother and his wife felt guilty about giving him medication in the past instead of channeling that excess energy into physical exercise.

For severe ADHD exercise alone may have very little impact. My severe ADHD 8yo does year round swim, taekwon-do, soccer, basketball, and baseball. Only medication has controlled his symptoms enough for him to get through school without a phone call home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a very complex issue and it’s not as simple as the parents are anti medicine or in denial about their child’s behavior.

Giving stimulants to children is a big deal.

I’ve also seen similar effects with exercise—so giving medication can feel like the “easy” or “lazy” way out. When my ADHD nephew joined a year round swim team with daily practices was the year that he finally was able to focus and finally turned things around. Before that he’d done soccer with 3 practices a week but that wasn’t nearly enough. I know my brother and his wife felt guilty about giving him medication in the past instead of channeling that excess energy into physical exercise.

For severe ADHD exercise alone may have very little impact. My severe ADHD 8yo does year round swim, taekwon-do, soccer, basketball, and baseball. Only medication has controlled his symptoms enough for him to get through school without a phone call home.

Same. It used to make me so angry when well intentioned adults would say "wow at least he will sleep well tonight" after observing activity, and I would just smile. Because none of that activity calmed him down, it was just his default!

Exercise is awesome and ADHD kids tend to be happier because they are in an environment where they are successful and thrive. But its not the same as medication. Ask a grown up on anti depressants if they've considered just going for a run because it boosts your mood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a very complex issue and it’s not as simple as the parents are anti medicine or in denial about their child’s behavior.

Giving stimulants to children is a big deal.

I’ve also seen similar effects with exercise—so giving medication can feel like the “easy” or “lazy” way out. When my ADHD nephew joined a year round swim team with daily practices was the year that he finally was able to focus and finally turned things around. Before that he’d done soccer with 3 practices a week but that wasn’t nearly enough. I know my brother and his wife felt guilty about giving him medication in the past instead of channeling that excess energy into physical exercise.

For severe ADHD exercise alone may have very little impact. My severe ADHD 8yo does year round swim, taekwon-do, soccer, basketball, and baseball. Only medication has controlled his symptoms enough for him to get through school without a phone call home.

Same. It used to make me so angry when well intentioned adults would say "wow at least he will sleep well tonight" after observing activity, and I would just smile. Because none of that activity calmed him down, it was just his default!

Exercise is awesome and ADHD kids tend to be happier because they are in an environment where they are successful and thrive. But its not the same as medication. Ask a grown up on anti depressants if they've considered just going for a run because it boosts your mood.

Exercise can be as good as or better than antidepressants for a grown up with depression. Studies and personal experience show this.

[Anonymous]

Don’t take advice from anyone on social media saying a child doesn’t need school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have nothing else to do other than watch instagram reels and then come to an anonymous internet forum to start flaming about it?

People have trepidation about giving psychiatric meds to underage children, especially when they don't know how side effects will unfold in each specific case. People have it hard having to parent SN kids in this society with little to no community supports and limited acceptance of neurodiversity.

ADHD specifically is often seen as a character or parenting failure because of how it presents. Not medicating or medicating can be judged by relatives, teachers, etc. Leave everyone be, their children, their choices, their social media feed (which is probably crafted to create outrage and increase views).

This. Some of these comments are not so much about compassion for kids who kids who are unmedicated for ADHD, but rather people looking to validate their own choices by pushing them on everyone else.

OP doesn't even know this person on Instagram, their kid might not even have ADHD. I distrust anyone who posts about their kid's medical issues in a public venue like that.

But if course there are good reasons someone might have concerns about meds caring their kid, especially a very young one. Until recently, standard of care was to wait until at least 6 or 7 to see if the ADHD behaviors improved on their own, since some ADHD behaviors (especially lack of impulse control) can just be signs of a less developed brain.

Many parents also have concerns about creating a dependency on stimulants at a young age. I know this gets handwaved as not a valid concern, but as someone who has been on stims for ADHD, I disagree.

I am not anti medication but this thing where we all sit around and tut tut parents of preschoolers for "refusing" to medicate them is insane. I think it reflects an increased desire for compliant, easy children, because we've made life so complicated and demanding that anything else is a nightmare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m an educator who has had a lot of conversations over the years with parents of confirmed or suspected ADHD children about medicating versus not. In the no medication camp I’ve heard a lot of concerns about side effects and over-medicalization of “normal” behavior. Few folks seem to mention the possible effects of not medicating ADHD. I’ve also talked to a lot of parents who see their own behavior in their kids. If the parent was unmedicated for ADHD, they often believe their kid can also make it through “just fine.” Also, some folks just don’t believe that ADHD is real. They’ll debate you on the whole premise of the disorder. They see it as natural behavior, especially amongst boys. They may also refer to labels for this and other challenges as a “crutch.”

+1
I’m a psychologist and one of the main reasons I also hear is concern about the side effects of the medication.

Many families try meds for their child any then stop because their kid “lost his appetite and stopped eating” or they didn’t like his “ blunted personality” on the medication.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m an educator who has had a lot of conversations over the years with parents of confirmed or suspected ADHD children about medicating versus not. In the no medication camp I’ve heard a lot of concerns about side effects and over-medicalization of “normal” behavior. Few folks seem to mention the possible effects of not medicating ADHD. I’ve also talked to a lot of parents who see their own behavior in their kids. If the parent was unmedicated for ADHD, they often believe their kid can also make it through “just fine.” Also, some folks just don’t believe that ADHD is real. They’ll debate you on the whole premise of the disorder. They see it as natural behavior, especially amongst boys. They may also refer to labels for this and other challenges as a “crutch.”

+1
I’m a psychologist and one of the main reasons I also hear is concern about the side effects of the medication.

Many families try meds for their child any then stop because their kid “lost his appetite and stopped eating” or they didn’t like his “ blunted personality” on the medication.

NP. I don't like that and neither does DS (which means that as soon as he is a part of the decision making process). Blowing off our concern is not something I want to hear from doctors or professionals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m an educator who has had a lot of conversations over the years with parents of confirmed or suspected ADHD children about medicating versus not. In the no medication camp I’ve heard a lot of concerns about side effects and over-medicalization of “normal” behavior. Few folks seem to mention the possible effects of not medicating ADHD. I’ve also talked to a lot of parents who see their own behavior in their kids. If the parent was unmedicated for ADHD, they often believe their kid can also make it through “just fine.” Also, some folks just don’t believe that ADHD is real. They’ll debate you on the whole premise of the disorder. They see it as natural behavior, especially amongst boys. They may also refer to labels for this and other challenges as a “crutch.”

+1
I’m a psychologist and one of the main reasons I also hear is concern about the side effects of the medication.

Many families try meds for their child any then stop because their kid “lost his appetite and stopped eating” or they didn’t like his “ blunted personality” on the medication.

Are you suggesting those aren't valid reasons for stopping drugs? They are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m an educator who has had a lot of conversations over the years with parents of confirmed or suspected ADHD children about medicating versus not. In the no medication camp I’ve heard a lot of concerns about side effects and over-medicalization of “normal” behavior. Few folks seem to mention the possible effects of not medicating ADHD. I’ve also talked to a lot of parents who see their own behavior in their kids. If the parent was unmedicated for ADHD, they often believe their kid can also make it through “just fine.” Also, some folks just don’t believe that ADHD is real. They’ll debate you on the whole premise of the disorder. They see it as natural behavior, especially amongst boys. They may also refer to labels for this and other challenges as a “crutch.”

+1
I’m a psychologist and one of the main reasons I also hear is concern about the side effects of the medication.

Many families try meds for their child any then stop because their kid “lost his appetite and stopped eating” or they didn’t like his “ blunted personality” on the medication.

NP. I don't like that and neither does DS (which means that as soon as he is a part of the decision making process). Blowing off our concern is not something I want to hear from doctors or professionals.

^ which means that as soon as he is part of the decision making process, he will stop taking them

I have asked to try a different stimulant to see if it is better and our doctor said this was working and not to change. Frustrating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m an educator who has had a lot of conversations over the years with parents of confirmed or suspected ADHD children about medicating versus not. In the no medication camp I’ve heard a lot of concerns about side effects and over-medicalization of “normal” behavior. Few folks seem to mention the possible effects of not medicating ADHD. I’ve also talked to a lot of parents who see their own behavior in their kids. If the parent was unmedicated for ADHD, they often believe their kid can also make it through “just fine.” Also, some folks just don’t believe that ADHD is real. They’ll debate you on the whole premise of the disorder. They see it as natural behavior, especially amongst boys. They may also refer to labels for this and other challenges as a “crutch.”

+1
I’m a psychologist and one of the main reasons I also hear is concern about the side effects of the medication.

Many families try meds for their child any then stop because their kid “lost his appetite and stopped eating” or they didn’t like his “ blunted personality” on the medication.

Are you suggesting those aren't valid reasons for stopping drugs? They are.

I’m not questioning the validity of their reasons. I’m just adding to the PP’s list of common reasons parents choose not to medicate their child with ADHD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m an educator who has had a lot of conversations over the years with parents of confirmed or suspected ADHD children about medicating versus not. In the no medication camp I’ve heard a lot of concerns about side effects and over-medicalization of “normal” behavior. Few folks seem to mention the possible effects of not medicating ADHD. I’ve also talked to a lot of parents who see their own behavior in their kids. If the parent was unmedicated for ADHD, they often believe their kid can also make it through “just fine.” Also, some folks just don’t believe that ADHD is real. They’ll debate you on the whole premise of the disorder. They see it as natural behavior, especially amongst boys. They may also refer to labels for this and other challenges as a “crutch.”

+1
I’m a psychologist and one of the main reasons I also hear is concern about the side effects of the medication.

Many families try meds for their child any then stop because their kid “lost his appetite and stopped eating” or they didn’t like his “ blunted personality” on the medication.

I mean, those are valid concerns.

Parents are put in such an impossible situation here, now that medicating even preschool age kids is considered standard. It has created an expectation that parents WILL medicate, especially if the school says it's needed.

But imagine for a moment that you are the parent of a 5 yr old who goes on meds and stops eating and growing. At 5. Or a previously enthusiastic, bright, happy kid who suddenly acts withdrawn and disinterested. You are really going to sit there and tell me that those parents are irresponsibility ble for stopping medication?

Do you actually care about children or do just care about classroom management?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m an educator who has had a lot of conversations over the years with parents of confirmed or suspected ADHD children about medicating versus not. In the no medication camp I’ve heard a lot of concerns about side effects and over-medicalization of “normal” behavior. Few folks seem to mention the possible effects of not medicating ADHD. I’ve also talked to a lot of parents who see their own behavior in their kids. If the parent was unmedicated for ADHD, they often believe their kid can also make it through “just fine.” Also, some folks just don’t believe that ADHD is real. They’ll debate you on the whole premise of the disorder. They see it as natural behavior, especially amongst boys. They may also refer to labels for this and other challenges as a “crutch.”

+1
I’m a psychologist and one of the main reasons I also hear is concern about the side effects of the medication.

Many families try meds for their child any then stop because their kid “lost his appetite and stopped eating” or they didn’t like his “ blunted personality” on the medication.

Are you suggesting those aren't valid reasons for stopping drugs? They are.

I’m not questioning the validity of their reasons. I’m just adding to the PP’s list of common reasons parents choose not to medicate their child with ADHD.

Well the PP was the overtly questioning the validity of the reasons parents gave for not medicating, so it sounds like you actually are questioning their validity, especially when you put them in scare quotes.

And it's attitudes like this, btw, that makes parents wary of medicating their kids, because when teachers and psychologists treat even valid concerns as just unreasonable excuses, and push and push to medicate these kids without any willingness to try other options first, it makes you suspicious of the whole system.

[Anonymous]

Stopped because of side effects. Losing appetite was the least of the problems. But anxiety and severe insomnia that kept the whole family awake for months made us stop the medication.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m an educator who has had a lot of conversations over the years with parents of confirmed or suspected ADHD children about medicating versus not. In the no medication camp I’ve heard a lot of concerns about side effects and over-medicalization of “normal” behavior. Few folks seem to mention the possible effects of not medicating ADHD. I’ve also talked to a lot of parents who see their own behavior in their kids. If the parent was unmedicated for ADHD, they often believe their kid can also make it through “just fine.” Also, some folks just don’t believe that ADHD is real. They’ll debate you on the whole premise of the disorder. They see it as natural behavior, especially amongst boys. They may also refer to labels for this and other challenges as a “crutch.”

+1
I’m a psychologist and one of the main reasons I also hear is concern about the side effects of the medication.

Many families try meds for their child any then stop because their kid “lost his appetite and stopped eating” or they didn’t like his “ blunted personality” on the medication.

Are you suggesting those aren't valid reasons for stopping drugs? They are.

I’m not questioning the validity of their reasons. I’m just adding to the PP’s list of common reasons parents choose not to medicate their child with ADHD.

Well the PP was the overtly questioning the validity of the reasons parents gave for not medicating, so it sounds like you actually are questioning their validity, especially when you put them in scare quotes.

And it's attitudes like this, btw, that makes parents wary of medicating their kids, because when teachers and psychologists treat even valid concerns as just unreasonable excuses, and push and push to medicate these kids without any willingness to try other options first, it makes you suspicious of the whole system.

Look, I’m sorry for the confusion I was just agreeing with PP that those are some reasons parents choose on to medicate their children. And I added a few more to the list.

I have heard many parents say the things I mentioned and the things that the educator brought up in her post. That’s it.