No school for my kid

[Anonymous]

The reality is that your child needs support to manage his reactions better. This support may include medication, which is a blessing if it helps the child maneuver through life without the outbursts that are negatively impacting him on a daily basis. He also needs a lot of consistent behavioral support. Since it's not an actual option for him to avoid educational work - he must get an education - he needs consistency at home and school that teaches him that it's not optional. Too often parents and school staff are so hesitant to set the child off that they end up enabling and encouraging the behaviors that will cause this child to have no real place in society as an adult. A big picture view is needed - he's still young enough that he can be taught to work through his emotions. Once he's 18 he will be able to legally make decisions that could be devastating to his life and family, so you need to be sure that wherever he's placed in school the goal isn't just to avoid emotions and outbursts.

[Anonymous]

Linder?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am heartbroken. My child fits no mold and is struggling with being successful in any setting. At school it is the demands that set him off so he leaves class. He went to PHP and was triggered by the kids who have outward behavior issues and had panic attacks. He gets overwhelmed at school and cries and cries. He is cognitively very bright but has ADHD and can be disruptive. Any corrective feedback he views as hostile and he feels attacked and cries and cries (loudly) and leaves class. What school can accommodate a sensitive kids with so many needs. He is also socially fine (when he is not upset) and cognitively gifted so he needs a social group. We are in MOCO. Where would you send him to school?

To be blunt - there will never be a program for children with emotional/behavioral needs that doesn't also have other children with emotional/behavioral needs. If he needs an emotional support setting due to meltdowns, work refusal, and classroom disruption then he will likely be in a program with other students with behavior issues. IMO, panic attacks due to other children's behaviors are something he can work on within that setting to develop more coping strategies and to focus on himself. There are variations in programs, though. Bridge tends to have less aggressive behaviors than other emotional support program.

+1

RICA mom here---Behaviors at RICA aren't really an issue. It's not that they don't exist; of course they do. But the school is set up to deal with them both in terms of personnel and space. So while in a comprehensive school, the rest of the kids evacuate a classroom when a child has an incident, at RICA, the teacher calls support to come and assist. The support personnel remove the child and take them to a safe space. That is their primary job. There is no waiting until someone is available--they are always available and there are back up people if more than one incident occurs simultaneously.

There is a slight interruption in classroom learning but it really is just a few minutes. But yes, the other students do witness the initial outburst. The teacher then returns to teaching. The therapist for the child who is having issues is called to process in the moment. When I read about the learning lost in comprehensive schools due to classroom evacuations, I think RICA has an amazing model. Learning is minimally disrupted while the child that needs help gets it. Seriously, what more can you ask for?

And I know RICA is the outlier for academics. But for my 2e kid, it has been amazing. He was able to access the ELA and compacted math curriculums in elem school. As he's moved into MS, the teachers have worked to differentiate his learning to be on par with the honors levels. RICA even offers AP level classes in some subjects depending on demand.

It's not perfect, but it's darn good. If I could change anything it would be the lack of extra curricular/club opportunities.

Whenever you & other parents post about RICA I’m amazed that such a good program continues to exist. I will say that one benefit of my DS’s “rough” high poverty middle schools is that they have a behavioral response team that is ON POINT in intervening immediately to deescalate - no evacuations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Linder?

I’m still confused about why people are posting random privates instead of OP coming back to explain what the MCPS IEP team has offered wrt placement.

[Anonymous]

Have you looked at the Fyneman school in Rockville? I know a friend whose kid sounds similar to yours and they’ve been happy there

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:we can't be home for virtual academy. Fusion does not start until 6th, he will be in 5th.

I wouldn't do Fusion, mixed review and it's more of a tutoring service than a school. Can you get a nanny for him?

Have a kid at Fusion - it is in fact a school. And a great, calm, warm environment which feels nothing like traditional school. Which my kid loves. Definitely consider Fusion. Also, meet with them. They might have teachers who want to pick up extra hours and would be willing to teach/tutor your kid for 5th grade.

Good luck. This sounds heart-breaking, but pulling him and giving him a year to regroup could be a great idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:we can't be home for virtual academy. Fusion does not start until 6th, he will be in 5th.

I wouldn't do Fusion, mixed review and it's more of a tutoring service than a school. Can you get a nanny for him?

Have a kid at Fusion - it is in fact a school. And a great, calm, warm environment which feels nothing like traditional school. Which my kid loves. Definitely consider Fusion. Also, meet with them. They might have teachers who want to pick up extra hours and would be willing to teach/tutor your kid for 5th grade.

Good luck. This sounds heart-breaking, but pulling him and giving him a year to regroup could be a great idea.

Fusion might be willing to allow you to enroll your fifth grade child tutoring sessions in all subjects and to go to homework cafe (you would technically homeschool using Fusion for instruction). We did it and it was ok until my child’s outbursts with peers in homework cafe were too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am heartbroken. My child fits no mold and is struggling with being successful in any setting. At school it is the demands that set him off so he leaves class. He went to PHP and was triggered by the kids who have outward behavior issues and had panic attacks. He gets overwhelmed at school and cries and cries. He is cognitively very bright but has ADHD and can be disruptive. Any corrective feedback he views as hostile and he feels attacked and cries and cries (loudly) and leaves class. What school can accommodate a sensitive kids with so many needs. He is also socially fine (when he is not upset) and cognitively gifted so he needs a social group. We are in MOCO. Where would you send him to school?

To be blunt - there will never be a program for children with emotional/behavioral needs that doesn't also have other children with emotional/behavioral needs. If he needs an emotional support setting due to meltdowns, work refusal, and classroom disruption then he will likely be in a program with other students with behavior issues. IMO, panic attacks due to other children's behaviors are something he can work on within that setting to develop more coping strategies and to focus on himself. There are variations in programs, though. Bridge tends to have less aggressive behaviors than other emotional support program.

I am really sorry. My child has a similar profile. We have considered (or my child has previously attended) some of the options suggested here. We ended up trying therapeutic boarding for a year and now residential treatment (although there is limited difference between the two). My child has made progress but still has outbursts.

We worked with an educational consultant
and I think it is advisable to do so (even though I am personally frustrated with the educational consultant we chose).

What residential schools and how old was your child?
-OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you looked at the Fyneman school in Rockville? I know a friend whose kid sounds similar to yours and they’ve been happy there

OP here- could Feynman handle the behaviors?

[Anonymous]

Look at Auburn. It was a lifesaver for our similar kid. I think the academics could be stronger, but the supports and patience are great. Our kid's confidence has really grown there. They are patient with behavior challenges, and many kids have minor behaviors, but it isn't overwhelming in a way that would make others feel overwhelmed.

[Anonymous]

Maybe Parkmont in north DC?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you looked at Newton? It is far from you but the founder is amazing and is worth a call to her to see if she has any suggestions. My dc was there years ago but I was super impressed.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am heartbroken. My child fits no mold and is struggling with being successful in any setting. At school it is the demands that set him off so he leaves class. He went to PHP and was triggered by the kids who have outward behavior issues and had panic attacks. He gets overwhelmed at school and cries and cries. He is cognitively very bright but has ADHD and can be disruptive. Any corrective feedback he views as hostile and he feels attacked and cries and cries (loudly) and leaves class. What school can accommodate a sensitive kids with so many needs. He is also socially fine (when he is not upset) and cognitively gifted so he needs a social group. We are in MOCO. Where would you send him to school?

To be blunt - there will never be a program for children with emotional/behavioral needs that doesn't also have other children with emotional/behavioral needs. If he needs an emotional support setting due to meltdowns, work refusal, and classroom disruption then he will likely be in a program with other students with behavior issues. IMO, panic attacks due to other children's behaviors are something he can work on within that setting to develop more coping strategies and to focus on himself. There are variations in programs, though. Bridge tends to have less aggressive behaviors than other emotional support program.

I am really sorry. My child has a similar profile. We have considered (or my child has previously attended) some of the options suggested here. We ended up trying therapeutic boarding for a year and now residential treatment (although there is limited difference between the two). My child has made progress but still has outbursts.

We worked with an educational consultant
and I think it is advisable to do so (even though I am personally frustrated with the educational consultant we chose).

What residential schools and how old was your child?
-OP

My child was 11 when we first looked at residential schools. My child was at Keswick and we considered Maple Hall as well. My child is currently in a small program in New Mexico currently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am heartbroken. My child fits no mold and is struggling with being successful in any setting. At school it is the demands that set him off so he leaves class. He went to PHP and was triggered by the kids who have outward behavior issues and had panic attacks. He gets overwhelmed at school and cries and cries. He is cognitively very bright but has ADHD and can be disruptive. Any corrective feedback he views as hostile and he feels attacked and cries and cries (loudly) and leaves class. What school can accommodate a sensitive kids with so many needs. He is also socially fine (when he is not upset) and cognitively gifted so he needs a social group. We are in MOCO. Where would you send him to school?

To be blunt - there will never be a program for children with emotional/behavioral needs that doesn't also have other children with emotional/behavioral needs. If he needs an emotional support setting due to meltdowns, work refusal, and classroom disruption then he will likely be in a program with other students with behavior issues. IMO, panic attacks due to other children's behaviors are something he can work on within that setting to develop more coping strategies and to focus on himself. There are variations in programs, though. Bridge tends to have less aggressive behaviors than other emotional support program.

+1

RICA mom here---Behaviors at RICA aren't really an issue. It's not that they don't exist; of course they do. But the school is set up to deal with them both in terms of personnel and space. So while in a comprehensive school, the rest of the kids evacuate a classroom when a child has an incident, at RICA, the teacher calls support to come and assist. The support personnel remove the child and take them to a safe space. That is their primary job. There is no waiting until someone is available--they are always available and there are back up people if more than one incident occurs simultaneously.

There is a slight interruption in classroom learning but it really is just a few minutes. But yes, the other students do witness the initial outburst. The teacher then returns to teaching. The therapist for the child who is having issues is called to process in the moment. When I read about the learning lost in comprehensive schools due to classroom evacuations, I think RICA has an amazing model. Learning is minimally disrupted while the child that needs help gets it. Seriously, what more can you ask for?

And I know RICA is the outlier for academics. But for my 2e kid, it has been amazing. He was able to access the ELA and compacted math curriculums in elem school. As he's moved into MS, the teachers have worked to differentiate his learning to be on par with the honors levels. RICA even offers AP level classes in some subjects depending on demand.

It's not perfect, but it's darn good. If I could change anything it would be the lack of extra curricular/club opportunities.

Also a parent of a kid at RICA (hello, fellow RICA parent! I haven't actually met anyone else in person so this is nice) - agree the academics are a great plus, I think a lot of schools prioritize behavioral support and don't offer as much of an academic program and certainly haven't heard of AP courses offered for kids like mine elsewhere.

Someone else mentioned trying MCPS programs like SESES or Bridge. On paper, MCPS does have a lot of programs that could support a kid with behavior needs - but in reality, these programs are small and can't actually serve many/most of the kids who need them. SESES, for example, is only at four middle schools out of I think 40 total in MCPS. When my kid was briefly in one of the programs, they had just tripled in size and were short staffed - not a recipe for success for most kids and definitely not for ones who need behavioral support.

I posted earlier but OP, working with an advocate who observed our kid in the classroom really helped us get a better sense of what programs (both public and private) were out there and could potentially be a fit for our kid. I wish you lots of luck.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your child may have rejection sensitivity dysphoria. If he were to receive treatment for that then he his school options would broaden.