DH refuses to let DD get iphone

[Anonymous]

They don’t get one until they get a drivers license.

[Anonymous]

Team DH!

[Anonymous]

Team DH. Phone with driver’s license—and I have an almost 15 yo so we’ve walked the walk.

[Anonymous]

Is graduating elementary school an accomplishment now?

[Anonymous]

DH is right. I would hold out until she starts high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’ve both got valid points. We got DD one for her 11th birthday which was the summer before 6th grade. It’s an IPhone 7 though so not one if the latest versions.
It came with rules though. All electronics charge in my room at night. No use before school, maintain good grades etc.
maybe you and DD try sitting down and coming up with an agreement that you can then present to DH regarding his concerns. See if that helps.
Having said that, part of me doesn’t want you to get her one because she’s furious and sulking. She doesn’t get to behave like that when she can’t have something she wants.

These are good rules.

[Anonymous]

I gave my 5th grader a phone and huge mistake. So many fights over getting off the phone. Every punishment about the phone. Access to Snapchat which is just awful - he got bullied on it. Kids are smart and he found a gazillion ways around every parental control I set up.

He is in 7th now and we took it away about 6 months ago permanently.

Life is so much better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You all sound a bit over the top. I have a 7th grader. He has one friend who doesn’t have a phone. That kids isn’t allowed to do anything. No hanging it out. No getting a ride home from school even if it’s raining. Parents are super strict. They are school friends. Maybe it’s different with boys but no spat or insta. They barely text.

My 7th grader doesn’t have one. If he really needs to text he can do so form my phone. He also just borrows peoples phones if he wants me to pick him up. It has been fine.

[Anonymous]

It’s not so much the fact that you’re seeking advice on whether to get an 11-12 year old an iPhone, but the way that you have phrased it, it seems that you have promised her an iPhone without talking to your dh first and now looking for ways to convince him. A 6th grader who already has an iPad doesn’t need an iPhone automatically and definitely not for a 5th grade graduation. You need to talk and agree on these things with your DH. Families and circumstances are different, in terms of kids mobility, independence, etc… so there is really no universal right or wrong here. But you phrased it in a way that you and dd are team and dh is opposed, and this is just an unhelpful mindset or attitude.

“She has made it very clear that she wants an iPhone for graduation”

“after talking to nearly all of her friends’ parents it seems like everyone is planning to give their kid an iPhone for graduation.” - I assume you asked?

“DH is very opposed”

“DD already has an iPad so she is on group text chats with friends and access to the internet.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all sound a bit over the top. I have a 7th grader. He has one friend who doesn’t have a phone. That kids isn’t allowed to do anything. No hanging it out. No getting a ride home from school even if it’s raining. Parents are super strict. They are school friends. Maybe it’s different with boys but no spat or insta. They barely text.

My 7th grader doesn’t have one. If he really needs to text he can do so form my phone. He also just borrows peoples phones if he wants me to pick him up. It has been fine.

Kids like yours end up with burners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all sound a bit over the top. I have a 7th grader. He has one friend who doesn’t have a phone. That kids isn’t allowed to do anything. No hanging it out. No getting a ride home from school even if it’s raining. Parents are super strict. They are school friends. Maybe it’s different with boys but no spat or insta. They barely text.

My 7th grader doesn’t have one. If he really needs to text he can do so form my phone. He also just borrows peoples phones if he wants me to pick him up. It has been fine.

So you rely on other kids having a phone if he needs one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You all sound a bit over the top. I have a 7th grader. He has one friend who doesn’t have a phone. That kids isn’t allowed to do anything. No hanging it out. No getting a ride home from school even if it’s raining. Parents are super strict. They are school friends. Maybe it’s different with boys but no spat or insta. They barely text.

+1. We finally let our middle school boy get a phone, but he has hardly used it. He already was using an iPad and computer for playing games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all sound a bit over the top. I have a 7th grader. He has one friend who doesn’t have a phone. That kids isn’t allowed to do anything. No hanging it out. No getting a ride home from school even if it’s raining. Parents are super strict. They are school friends. Maybe it’s different with boys but no spat or insta. They barely text.

Believe it or not kids in 6th grade without iPhones still have friends and hang out and get rides home from school when it rains. Your belief that an iPhone is what makes the difference in life and that anyone without them is a social recluse and reject is over the top.

They are using their friend's smart phones. So they are moochers. Saves you money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Team DH. Phone with driver’s license—and I have an almost 15 yo so we’ve walked the walk.

This is too late. You must not like your lid much.

[Anonymous]

I waited until late 8th and it’s been fine. She can manage without one.