Private school lifer

[Anonymous]

This varies widely by school depending on the social scene of the school, the size of the incoming new classes and the years, whether the school is all girls, all boys, or coed, how academically strong the new kids are relative to the old kids, whether the new kids are predominately coming from public or K-8s, whether the school is Catholic, etc. It is so different school to school you really can’t generalize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This varies widely by school depending on the social scene of the school, the size of the incoming new classes and the years, whether the school is all girls, all boys, or coed, how academically strong the new kids are relative to the old kids, whether the new kids are predominately coming from public or K-8s, whether the school is Catholic, etc. It is so different school to school you really can’t generalize.

This is exactly it. It’s so different at every school depending on the circumstances and school culture

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The “bad kids” trope sounds absolutely ridiculous. My child entered a highly esteemed Big 3 at 6th grade from public school and has ingratiated themselves very well socially and academically. In fact, I believe they’re on par or above some of those who came in earlier grades. My kid entered as a straight A student, tested well and an athlete.

Agree.

It depends on the school. At the more selective schools the new kids are the “smarter kids”. At catholic schools or less selective privates they are the “bad kids”. So, again, not all private schools are created equal. Just like not all public schools are created equal. The generalizations an biases here are astoundingly inaccurate.

Completely agree. I was tossed into private school as a "bad kid"; The school was not a selective JDS. We went independent for DS and it's the opposite.

[Anonymous]

I didn't think there were any K-12 Catholic schools so this doesn't really make sense in the high school context. Having kids who went to Catholic high school from an independent K-8, some of the parochial schools might have more of a connection with admissions and more legacies so it might be an easier admit but I can't say we saw a significant overall difference in students once they all settled in based on where they went prior to HS

[Anonymous]

As one who has a child at a small, K-12 independent, the lifers or children who entered in elementary generally look forward to
meeting the new students in 6th especially as well as in 9th. At our independent there is a lot of emphasis on the social-emotional aspects as well as bonding activities at the beginning of middle school so the students have time to build relationships early on versus being thrown into the high school workload almost immediately, IMHO. Regardless, the students coming in at 6th and 9th are strong academically and round out the class. The parents seem to form closer bonds with other parents when the children enter in middle school but I think that is because the parents are more involved in helping with logistics for hang outs (initially, at least) and more parents are generally involved in school activities than in high school. I personally think entering in middle school at a small private may be preferable to high school as all the children are transitioning, friendships seem very malleable, the workload is increasing but not cut-throat, plus parents may find it easier to socially integrate into the school, provided that is of interest to them. By high school, students are more focused, extracurriculars outside of school are more defined, and kids feel more pressure to perform academically. The parents generally know of one another and so there are not a million questions being asked and the students largely manage the social planning themselves.Independents that open up entire sections in high school may well have different dynamics. Cohorts may also differ and personality of the incoming student also may impact the experience, so it is hard to say definitively how it will be. I have tried, however, to share observations and feedback I have received from other parents we know at our small, K-12 independent.

[Anonymous]

I'm glad my kid was at a charter school at least until 4th (would have moved later but pandemic.) She met kids and families and teachers at different economic levels. Now, at a private school, her friends all have massive houses and the parents are all professional and money rarely seems to be an object and there's nothing wrong with any of that, but it's not most peoples' realities.

[Anonymous]

My experience is that if you care about community, spend your money on a the best zip code ES you can afford. In this area, your cohort will be no different than at the fanciest private schools but you won’t have the issue of distance. Kids can roam around your neighborhood. And you will meet parents not only at school events but by joining the local recreational soccer or whatever league. So you see Susie’s mom at drop off, walking home from school and then on Saturday at the soccer field. It makes friendships so much more natural than some weird PTA thing or emailing Susie’s mom about a birthday party. Just a huge upside to not being a private lifer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My experience is that if you care about community, spend your money on a the best zip code ES you can afford. In this area, your cohort will be no different than at the fanciest private schools but you won’t have the issue of distance. Kids can roam around your neighborhood. And you will meet parents not only at school events but by joining the local recreational soccer or whatever league. So you see Susie’s mom at drop off, walking home from school and then on Saturday at the soccer field. It makes friendships so much more natural than some weird PTA thing or emailing Susie’s mom about a birthday party. Just a huge upside to not being a private lifer.

True.
We left dc lifer pk-12. Our three kids had great dc area private educations for lower schools, and at different schools. Had no LDs or mental disorders.

So in our new city we went top public. We felt it would be faster for creating community and also logistics. Been there, done that with friends from 10+ zip codes. We appreciate the testing and grading policies in grade 5+. Kids are doing well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This varies widely by school depending on the social scene of the school, the size of the incoming new classes and the years, whether the school is all girls, all boys, or coed, how academically strong the new kids are relative to the old kids, whether the new kids are predominately coming from public or K-8s, whether the school is Catholic, etc. It is so different school to school you really can’t generalize.

This is exactly it. It’s so different at every school depending on the circumstances and school culture

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are there significant differences between a lifer versus starts in the typical entry years like 6th and 9th? Trying to convince myself it's worth the $$$

Yes it is worth it.