the case for not divorcing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why didn’t you drive her OP?

Personally I think remarrying and having babies when you have young kids is pretty tacky so I’m with you there.

Same. So trashy.

Quick, everyone stop living your lives because two losers on DCUM think it's "tacky and trashy."

BTW tacky and trashy are words you use when you're uneducated and haven't read enough to learn other, more descriptive words.

NP with a PHD. I agree. It’s both trashy and tacky.

Tacky is an attempt at argumentum ab auctoritate by citing your (sic) "PHD" instead of letting your ideas stand and fall on their merits.

It was entirely relevant since the previous poster said the previous PP’s conclusion implied lack of education. The PhD poster then showed that it’s possible to be very educated and make the same conclusion.

But you knew all that, didn’t you? You just wanted to sound clever.

—New NP also with a PhD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why didn’t you drive her OP?

Personally I think remarrying and having babies when you have young kids is pretty tacky so I’m with you there.

Same. So trashy.

Quick, everyone stop living your lives because two losers on DCUM think it's "tacky and trashy."

BTW tacky and trashy are words you use when you're uneducated and haven't read enough to learn other, more descriptive words.

That’s not it. I have many other words. But, that is not how words work. Tacky and trashy are absolutely perfect here so one need not expand. The most educated people know that words should be precise.

One could say selfish, unfair, shortsighted, small, limited, stifling, sad. All would work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: OP, I don't understand why you texted the dad and the stepmom? Why didn't you just tell your kid 'Larla is at her dads this weekend and can't come over'.

As a divorced mom, if you texted my kid's dad I would think you were weird and probably not let my kid go to your house. Her dad would think you are weird too!

This is so bizarre….dont text the person that has the kid 50% of the time? Only communicate with moms because the other parent is….what? Why in the world wouldn’t you coordinate a playdate with whoever the child is with at that time? Or are you envisioning dads only get like every other weekend and no weekdays?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why didn’t you drive her OP?

Personally I think remarrying and having babies when you have young kids is pretty tacky so I’m with you there.

Same. So trashy.

Quick, everyone stop living your lives because two losers on DCUM think it's "tacky and trashy."

BTW tacky and trashy are words you use when you're uneducated and haven't read enough to learn other, more descriptive words.

It’s definitely trashy to rush to have a baby to “cement the relationship” when you still have young kids who aren’t even with you 50% of the time. If the kids are older it’s less tacky as long as you still prioritize the older kid (eg facilitate playdates instead of ditching kids with stepmom who dgaf.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the case against step children.

If all the kids have the same set of parents, divorce and remarry has more potential to be less dysfunctional.

If you have children and are divorced, only remarry people who do not have / want children of their own.

Most people who want children, want their own children. Most people who don’t want children, don’t want to raise your children.

Marrying a childless second spouse who insists you “give them a baby” is VERY trashy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: OP, I don't understand why you texted the dad and the stepmom? Why didn't you just tell your kid 'Larla is at her dads this weekend and can't come over'.

As a divorced mom, if you texted my kid's dad I would think you were weird and probably not let my kid go to your house. Her dad would think you are weird too!

that makes zero sense

[Anonymous]

My wife and I no longer love each other. We live together as roommates and that's it. The only reason I have not divorced her is because of our kid. But, once she is 12/13 I will file for divorce. For the time being we're fine being "mature" around the house so it's best for our kid's well being. But, I cannot wait for a couple years to pass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm still waiting to hear "the case for not divorcing". Did I miss it? All I read were some anecdotes and opinions.

Yes, where is the case made, OP? I'm not seeing it.

You must be slow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why didn’t you drive her OP?

Personally I think remarrying and having babies when you have young kids is pretty tacky so I’m with you there.

Same. So trashy.

Quick, everyone stop living your lives because two losers on DCUM think it's "tacky and trashy."

BTW tacky and trashy are words you use when you're uneducated and haven't read enough to learn other, more descriptive words.

NP with a PHD. I agree. It’s both trashy and tacky.

Tacky is an attempt at argumentum ab auctoritate by citing your (sic) "PHD" instead of letting your ideas stand and fall on their merits.

It was entirely relevant since the previous poster said the previous PP’s conclusion implied lack of education. The PhD poster then showed that it’s possible to be very educated and make the same conclusion.

But you knew all that, didn’t you? You just wanted to sound clever.

—New NP also with a PhD

Yup. Argumentum ab auctotitate poster just made themselves look UNEDUCATED.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I no longer love each other. We live together as roommates and that's it. The only reason I have not divorced her is because of our kid. But, once she is 12/13 I will file for divorce. For the time being we're fine being "mature" around the house so it's best for our kid's well being. But, I cannot wait for a couple years to pass.

Here’s the thing, you will end up in this exact situation with whomever is your next partner. If you want companionship and stability in your later years, family holidays with your child and possible grandchildren, etc. you should figure this out. I am not throwing stones, I am in the same situation and I am trying to reconnect with my DH, but I had a few long term relationships before getting married and I know that it’s not the person, it’s you (me). You and your DW need to lean into your marriage and do some hard work. Just like I need to do. Because if I leave my emotionally abandoned marriage, I will certainly fall madly in love again, but in 10 or 15 years I will be in the exact same position but this time with way less money, way less time with my kids, a weakened relationship with my kids, and I will have very deep regrets. Fix it, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I no longer love each other. We live together as roommates and that's it. The only reason I have not divorced her is because of our kid. But, once she is 12/13 I will file for divorce. For the time being we're fine being "mature" around the house so it's best for our kid's well being. But, I cannot wait for a couple years to pass.

That is the hardest age on a child, especially a girl, for parents to divorce. Why are you choosing that age?

[Anonymous]

This is a “case” (such as it is) against remarriage and blended families, not divorce, OP you absolute moron. Do you grasp that those are not the same thing? Honestly I never cease to be amazed at the lack of critical thinking skills even on a site notorious for its highly educated and wealthy user base.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a “case” (such as it is) against remarriage and blended families, not divorce, OP you absolute moron. Do you grasp that those are not the same thing? Honestly I never cease to be amazed at the lack of critical thinking skills even on a site notorious for its highly educated and wealthy user base.

Right. Because divorcing without the blended family is such a fantastic option.
Talk about lack of critical thinking skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a “case” (such as it is) against remarriage and blended families, not divorce, OP you absolute moron. Do you grasp that those are not the same thing? Honestly I never cease to be amazed at the lack of critical thinking skills even on a site notorious for its highly educated and wealthy user base.

Right. Because divorcing without the blended family is such a fantastic option.
Talk about lack of critical thinking skills.

It is a fine option. It is better than a bad marriage where everyone is miserable. I am divorced. Remarriage not an option for either parent. Everyone is happy and better off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I no longer love each other. We live together as roommates and that's it. The only reason I have not divorced her is because of our kid. But, once she is 12/13 I will file for divorce. For the time being we're fine being "mature" around the house so it's best for our kid's well being. But, I cannot wait for a couple years to pass.

Here’s the thing, you will end up in this exact situation with whomever is your next partner. If you want companionship and stability in your later years, family holidays with your child and possible grandchildren, etc. you should figure this out. I am not throwing stones, I am in the same situation and I am trying to reconnect with my DH, but I had a few long term relationships before getting married and I know that it’s not the person, it’s you (me). You and your DW need to lean into your marriage and do some hard work. Just like I need to do. Because if I leave my emotionally abandoned marriage, I will certainly fall madly in love again, but in 10 or 15 years I will be in the exact same position but this time with way less money, way less time with my kids, a weakened relationship with my kids, and I will have very deep regrets. Fix it, OP.

This is just not true. And many divorced people have no interest in remarrying. They just don’t want to be married to that spouse anymore. Another partner possibility is not always in the equation at all.