Does anyone else not track their tween's location?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I track mine so I can meet them for pickups. For example—When they take the bus home, I track so I can know when they will arrive at the drop off (it’s private school, so the pickup is far from our house), I track them when they are coming back on the team bus from a game, so I know when they arrive back at school. Things like that.

They can also track me so that when I’m coming to get them they can figure out where I am if I’m late. This is nice bc I don’t get calls asking where I am when I’m trying to drive.

This is essentially us as well. I generally only track her when I have to meet her, and need to know around what time I have to leave home. For instance, she has a field trip coming up. The window of arrival is dependent on traffic, so she'l

l text me when they start, and I'll track 30 minutes before scheduled arrival to see if they're still on track, or if I need to make adjustments.

Or she could just text you when she gets there and wait for you to show up. Or you could just wait at the stop at the estimated arrival time. Lots of options that don't involve tracking.

Sure, there are always inferior options.

[Anonymous]

My 16 yo has 15 people on her find my iPhone lol. Me, her sister and 13 of her friends. In addition to whatever snapmaps has going on.

I get how the tracking could be anxiety inducing but I’m not anxious and hence it doesn’t create anxiety bc I don’t use it against her. I do have adhd and I really don’t want to have to text back and forth constantly about where she is, she drives and on a Saturday night might change locations 4-5 times. It works for us and isn’t creepy but I can see how it could be for many if they use it to grill their kids about their every move. She had a friend group freshman year that all added each other on life 360 which actually notifies the whole group at every location change and that turned creepy with one girl in the group getting really weird with everyone about where they were…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I track mine so I can meet them for pickups. For example—When they take the bus home, I track so I can know when they will arrive at the drop off (it’s private school, so the pickup is far from our house), I track them when they are coming back on the team bus from a game, so I know when they arrive back at school. Things like that.

They can also track me so that when I’m coming to get them they can figure out where I am if I’m late. This is nice bc I don’t get calls asking where I am when I’m trying to drive.

This is essentially us as well. I generally only track her when I have to meet her, and need to know around what time I have to leave home. For instance, she has a field trip coming up. The window of arrival is dependent on traffic, so she'l

l text me when they start, and I'll track 30 minutes before scheduled arrival to see if they're still on track, or if I need to make adjustments.

Or she could just text you when she gets there and wait for you to show up. Or you could just wait at the stop at the estimated arrival time. Lots of options that don't involve tracking.

My kids’ bus arrives at the evening stop anywhere from 5:30 pm to 7pm depending on traffic, when the last kid shows up for a ride home, and which stops need to be made. Trust me when I tell you that my kids just prefer that I check where their dots are in the evening, rather than constantly texting updates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have never tracked my kids (they are 21 and 19 now). I am definitely in the minority among parents I know, but I have always felt it was a step away from microchipping your kid.

+1 My kids are 16 and 19.

[Anonymous]

Have never tracked my 13 yo

[Anonymous]

Purpose and intent matters here. It isn't about trust to me, rather convenience and safety.

Everyone in our family tracks everyone else through find my phone, and they all know they can turn it off if they want. We aren't stalking each other or distrustful, but use it when needed for practical purposes and much prefer it to constantly calling and texting (esp. the kids).

When my college kid is traveling for the weekend with friends, we all feel better knowing we can find him if something goes wrong. When one of is stuck in traffic and late to pick up a kid, we can drive safely and not text because the kid can see exactly where we are. When my kid was abroad, we could take fun screen shots of his avatar on continents and in cities and in the middle of the ocean. When we travel without they kids, they can check on us if they worry, even if the time zone is inconvenient for a call. We like being able to time things without having to text and call and ask where are you and when will you be here? Just check the app.

I guess if you had trust issues, it could be a problem, but so far we are all OK with it. My kids probably check on me more than I check on them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I track mine so I can meet them for pickups. For example—When they take the bus home, I track so I can know when they will arrive at the drop off (it’s private school, so the pickup is far from our house), I track them when they are coming back on the team bus from a game, so I know when they arrive back at school. Things like that.

They can also track me so that when I’m coming to get them they can figure out where I am if I’m late. This is nice bc I don’t get calls asking where I am when I’m trying to drive.

This is essentially us as well. I generally only track her when I have to meet her, and need to know around what time I have to leave home. For instance, she has a field trip coming up. The window of arrival is dependent on traffic, so she'l

l text me when they start, and I'll track 30 minutes before scheduled arrival to see if they're still on track, or if I need to make adjustments.

Or she could just text you when she gets there and wait for you to show up. Or you could just wait at the stop at the estimated arrival time. Lots of options that don't involve tracking.

Why would I do that if I don't have to sit around waiting, or have her sit around and wait (and then the teachers can't leave either)? Last time, the bus was supposed to arrive at 6:00 and didn't get in until almost 7:30. It's a 20 minute drive for me to get to school.

[Anonymous]

How is asking your 17 year old to text upon departure and arrival LESS helicoptering than just having the availability to track them if they don't come home at curfew?

I think it's FAR creepier and controlling to be asking your 17 year old to text you their location all night long than to let them go out, trust them to behave and just have the tracking capability in case of an emergency.

[Anonymous]

That’s completely foreign to me. We are told where they are going, who will be there, and if parents will be at the home supervising.


You literally ask your 17 year old who will be supervising them when they go to a friend's house??
WOW.

NP. My son is 16. I don't ask if it is a daytime hang out, but if it is in the evening, yes, I ask if a parent will be there.

[Anonymous]

I track. My kids drive, are social, out and about a lot. It’s simpler and less annoying to check if they are on their way back/where they are than it is to text.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is asking your 17 year old to text upon departure and arrival LESS helicoptering than just having the availability to track them if they don't come home at curfew?

I think it's FAR creepier and controlling to be asking your 17 year old to text you their location all night long than to let them go out, trust them to behave and just have the tracking capability in case of an emergency.

Neither is helecoptering. It's logistics.

[Anonymous]

I prefer the passive approach of checking location, rather than the more intrusive calling and texting.

[Anonymous]

We started Find My Friends with my kids when my oldest was losing his phone from time to time. Then when my kids started driving, I use it occasionally when they're out.

But we kept it there, no Life 360.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I prefer the passive approach of checking location, rather than the more intrusive calling and texting.

+1. I don't make my kids text me as soon as they get in the car, as soon as they arrive to their location, etc. Which is fine for those families, it's just not my thing as a parent.

[Anonymous]

They have location sharing on their phone, but I only check it occsasionally if they've gone out with friends and I'm wondering if they are close to getting home or if I need to wait up a lot longer.