Feeling sad my kid doesn't want to play anymore

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So when do kids start burning out? DS is only 11 and so far all talented A team kids he’s played with and against are still playing. Does burnout happen a year or so into MLSNext/ECNL?

"Burnout" is an excuse used to cover other sins

I don’t think it’s as dramatic as that. Burnout describes the kid who quits because he realizes the work needed to stay on top is grinding and never ending and he doesn’t want to do that anymore.

But that also can be described as maturing and being ok with letting soccer go.

So it's the sin of not being able to stick to a task because it's difficult.

[Anonymous]

Its not supposed to be difficult. Its supposed to be fun.

[Anonymous]

I don't care if my kids keep playing soccer. But I do want them involved in some sport most of the time. Doesn't need to be higher than rec level. But I think learning how to play multiple sports is an excellent life skill.

I'd be open to non-team sports too if needed, but some of those have a much higher bar to entry (like mountain biking or rock climbing).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its not supposed to be difficult. Its supposed to be fun.

PP said "top level" not Rec

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes I'm competitive. Not afraid to admit that. But 99% of parents on here are.
At least I can recognize when my kid needs a break. My point was it's OK to let kids just play rec rather than travel or quit entirely especially at 9. Who knows. They may end up going back to playing again.

What's most hilarious to me is that your kid is STILL PLAYING. Just not at the hyper competitive level you Type As think is the only acceptable option.

99% of parents are NOT like you. 99% of the parents you spend time with might be like you. But I can guarantee most people are not like you when it comes to 9 year olds in activities that should be fun not 5 days a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are four girls on my dd's U14 rec team who burned out on club soccer.

Kids don't do enough to burn out.
Parents and bad coaches drive them away.

Practicing 3 days a week and endless full weekend tournaments isn't "kids doing enough"?

This is only solidifying my view that we will never do travel sports. You people are insufferable. My kids would need to beg me to put up with this trash parenting on the sidelines.

[Anonymous]

You've gotta let it go. If he takes a break and wants to go back to it, he can. My son did travel soccer from ages 9-15 and loved it, until he got a bad concussion during a game, then refused to play any sort of soccer, travel or rec, ever again. It's too bad, but it's his decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its not supposed to be difficult. Its supposed to be fun.

PP said "top level" not Rec

If "top level" isn't fun, then your kid shouldn't be doing it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its not supposed to be difficult. Its supposed to be fun.

PP said "top level" not Rec

If "top level" isn't fun, then your kid shouldn't be doing it

Don't be stupid

Fun is a part of it.
It takes hard work to get to the top level and stay there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are four girls on my dd's U14 rec team who burned out on club soccer.

Kids don't do enough to burn out.
Parents and bad coaches drive them away.

Practicing 3 days a week and endless full weekend tournaments isn't "kids doing enough"?

This is only solidifying my view that we will never do travel sports. You people are insufferable. My kids would need to beg me to put up with this trash parenting on the sidelines.

PP actually makes a good point, that it's often bad coaches (or parents) who turn a kid off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its not supposed to be difficult. Its supposed to be fun.

PP said "top level" not Rec

If "top level" isn't fun, then your kid shouldn't be doing it

This. The rest of you have lost sight of what's important. They are kids no matter what 'level' they are at. We left a club with this toxic mindset that this needs to be painful and miserable to get to the top on a 2nd team and are all much happier with the top team we're on now with a much healthier run club.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are four girls on my dd's U14 rec team who burned out on club soccer.

Kids don't do enough to burn out.
Parents and bad coaches drive them away.

Practicing 3 days a week and endless full weekend tournaments isn't "kids doing enough"?

This is only solidifying my view that we will never do travel sports. You people are insufferable. My kids would need to beg me to put up with this trash parenting on the sidelines.

Which kid do you know personally that goes to practice 3 days a week, never missing any, from late August to November?
This same kid also plays in more than 5 tournaments during said period while playing in league games without a weekend off?
Then from November to March they have no days off?
Then they repeat March to June what they did August to November?
All at 100% intensity all the time?

Gimi a break.
Most these kids should have phone, computer and video games burnout because that's where they spend majority of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are four girls on my dd's U14 rec team who burned out on club soccer.

Kids don't do enough to burn out.
Parents and bad coaches drive them away.

Practicing 3 days a week and endless full weekend tournaments isn't "kids doing enough"?

This is only solidifying my view that we will never do travel sports. You people are insufferable. My kids would need to beg me to put up with this trash parenting on the sidelines.

True. Keep your kids away from the ones not afraid to break a nail

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure too many people in high level sports think the day to day training is "fun". I used to get a pit of dread in my stomach before practices wondering how hard we were going to be worked. You don't get bigger/faster/stronger/more skilled without being pushed outside of your comfort zone. The key is whether you're willing to go through that training to reach your goals. If a kid doesn't care about achieving those goals anymore and doesn't feel the sport is integral to who they are, then it's over. The daily grind is too miserable to keep it going.

Of course, none of this is relevant to a 9 year old unless someone is pushing them too hard. Some kids will set goals on their own, but it's not common at that age. It's usually coming from an overbearing parent or coach. If a 9 year old is saying they don't enjoy something, they mean it. You can't expect them to look past the day to day experience for some larger, long-term goal. That's not how younger kids are wired. If I were OP I would ask my kid if they want to keeping playing but at a scaled back level (rec) or try something else instead, and let them choose.

[Anonymous]

Agree that competing in a high level travel support is frequently not fun.
It’s a pressure cooker and grind.
We made sure my kid knew he could get out at the end of every season.
He choose to when he was 14