Eating lunch/walking alone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Were they all looking at their phones?

This. I went to university in the 90s and always had lunch with someone. There was no other entertainment.

Now can watch Netflix / TikTok/ YouTube while eating, or listen to audio book, or chat with someone on the phone while eating (back then mobiles were still quite expensive and holding a phone to your ear was not convenient while eating). So there are more options than the two we had: eat alone or eat with someone.

I ate alone frequently at school in the 90s. I would read—either a book for fun or an assignment.

I ate alone for dinner a lot as a PSU Honors College student in the 1980s. My roommate was a dud and there weren't many freshman women in the Honors dorm so few people to locate quickly to go to the cafeteria across the street. It didn't bother me to do so, it was just efficient. I met up with people socially outside of meals instead.

I especially remember that I dined alone because frequently when I sat at a table alone, large groups of sorority sisters would settle at the table without so much as looking me in the eye, saying "may I sit here", or any other acknowledgement that I existed. From listening to their conversations, I became sure that I didn't want to rush. I had gone to school thinking I might because I would have been a legacy to one of the "good" sororities.

[Anonymous]

It is pretty insecure to be a person incapable or unwilling to eat by yourself. Students have different schedules - of course you're going to need to eat alone sometimes.

[Anonymous]

This is one thing I look at on tours. I eat in every cafeteria that's open to the public.

Swarthmore: super impressive cafeteria with groups of kids lingering over food. We were there for an hour and saw kids sitting longer than we did. single digit number of tables with one kid.

Bowdoin/Amherst/Williams: you really see the athletes here. A table of swimmers, a table of soccer players, the Black table (per the phenomenon .. don't jump on me) and then some solos on their phones (this would be my kid, I didn't like it)

Georgetown: dark cafeteria with a lot of solo kids on phones but some groups too.

I noted what was going on in the cafeteria on every tour - when possible. Makes a big difference IMO

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Were they all looking at their phones?

This is the answer.

Yep.

--HS teacher.

[Anonymous]

This is why I’m so glad to be an introvert, married to an introvert, raising introverts. You desperate extroverts are exhausting. In college, I always ate dinner with friends, but lunch was on your own—study, break between classes, read, go back to your room, catch up on laundry, go to the arboretum or the union and enjoy some fresh air and sunshine while you eat a sandwich.

I know some of you panic about the idea of being left alone without own thoughts. No, it’s not phones or screens. I had lovely solo lunches in college, eating and going over my notes for the next class, or listening to the carillon bells. What is with the constant extrovert need to talk, talk, talk. When do you THINK? When do you lose yourself in thought?

[Anonymous]

The idea that eating lunch is a problem “caused by phones” is laughable. I went to college in the 90s, and the norm was lunch was on your own, in between classes. Dinner was the social meal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter noticed at Swarthmore that most students seemed to be walking between classes alone and that no one shouted out greetings (or teasing) to the tour guide.

That stood out (in a bad way) from the other SLAC we had visited.

That's what we noticed at Lehigh (which was the polar opposite of Lafayette in that regard).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why I’m so glad to be an introvert, married to an introvert, raising introverts. You desperate extroverts are exhausting. In college, I always ate dinner with friends, but lunch was on your own—study, break between classes, read, go back to your room, catch up on laundry, go to the arboretum or the union and enjoy some fresh air and sunshine while you eat a sandwich.

I know some of you panic about the idea of being left alone without own thoughts. No, it’s not phones or screens. I had lovely solo lunches in college, eating and going over my notes for the next class, or listening to the carillon bells. What is with the constant extrovert need to talk, talk, talk. When do you THINK? When do you lose yourself in thought?

This was a little harsh, but I get you, fellow introvert 😊

I loved my big state flagship because by sophomore year I couldn't go anywhere without seeing a friend, and yet I could still get some alone time whenever I needed it without anyone being concerned about my lack of group participation.

[Anonymous]

I went to Maryland and ate alone and walked alone most days. Not sure about others as this isn’t something I would notice

[Anonymous]

Can you imagine our parents desperately observing and fussing on messaging boards with other parents about ADULT STUDENTS eating or *walking* alone? Good grief. Pull yourselves together, people.

In college, my friends had different majors. Thus, we very rarely had classes together, and the classes we had were in different buildings. Of course I was friendly with people in my classes, and yeah, if you happened to see someone who was grabbing lunch at the same time, you might eat together. But usually I ate by myself and read, studied, did the crossword, or went back to my dorm room for a nap or to study.

Do you feel this same way about working adults, that they must walk to meetings “together,” eat lunch together each and every day? Honestly wondering what is wrong with some of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD partially picked her school because the kids were walking in groups and eating together. Once she got there, she realized that kids who did not have friends were embarrassed to eat alone and it was a very cliquish school. She probably ate in the cafeteria 10 times her first semester. She ate in her room because it was too embarrassing to be seen alone. Granted, that was her insecurity but I do think normalizing eating alone is not a bad thing. She was jealous of her friend’s school, which had a set up for kids to eat alone (like bar stools or something similar, I can’t remember).

+1 I always retreated back to my room for meals if I couldn’t find a friend whose schedule aligned with mine. I wasn’t confident enough to publicly eat alone until I was pushing 40!

[Anonymous]

It makes me so sad for our kids that parents think eating and walking alone is a problem. I think it's great, much better than kids who are too embarrassed to go to the dining hall because their meal time doesn't match up with a friend's.

Also, ???? to the walking alone. I went to a small school and often walked alone because I had friends in different majors. It doesn't mean I sat alone in class; we just all headed in different directions after class was over.

This is such a weird thing to complain about, and to blame on phones.

[Anonymous]

I think seeing a cafeteria where 40% of students are athletes and they stick together is a real problem for some SLACs

[Anonymous]

I always ate by myself my freshman year when I had a meal plan. This was 1995. Always. I took a book, got my food, and sat alone. I didn't have many friends and I didn't really want them. I loved to read, I was mildly depressed at my school, and I generally just kept my head down. I also always walked alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What I remember was that freshmen tended to travel in large packs, while upperclassmen gradually became confident enough to eat/walk/function alone.

What I remember was that freshmen were the only ones regularly eating in the cafeteria; most upperclassmen weren't on the meal plan.