Eating lunch/walking alone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Saw this on some tours with my kids. It was a turn off for both of them and they wound going to schools where that was not the case and are quite happy.

All these posts who extrapolate a sample of kids in a given time they notice eating/walking alone to a school culture is BS. There are all sorts of personalities in all schools. You think AO's are supermen who can detect personalities in a few minutes of application reading? And for an admitted student, making a decision based on what they "observe" within a 10 yard radius around them is idiotic.

+100
I wonder people who judge a school this way are the same ones who use number of people wearing college swag as another criterion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Were they all looking at their phones?

This. I went to university in the 90s and always had lunch with someone. There was no other entertainment.

Now can watch Netflix / TikTok/ YouTube while eating, or listen to audio book, or chat with someone on the phone while eating (back then mobiles were still quite expensive and holding a phone to your ear was not convenient while eating). So there are more options than the two we had: eat alone or eat with someone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Were they all looking at their phones?

This. I went to university in the 90s and always had lunch with someone. There was no other entertainment.

Now can watch Netflix / TikTok/ YouTube while eating, or listen to audio book, or chat with someone on the phone while eating (back then mobiles were still quite expensive and holding a phone to your ear was not convenient while eating). So there are more options than the two we had: eat alone or eat with someone.

I ate alone frequently at school in the 90s. I would read—either a book for fun or an assignment.

[Anonymous]

I do think that a crowded college caf is a great proxy for the culture of the student body, in a very general but meaningful sense. My DC visited a friend at Gettysburg, and said everyone was so friendly and there was a general warmth to the campus - and that the caf at dinner was a friendly and inviting place. Same kid went to Georgetown to visit friend and found caf time to be dreary and almost sad. Schools that have a certain joie de vivre in the caf at mealtime are usually special in other ways..

[Anonymous]

Students are coming and going between different classes - of course some are quickly grabbing a bite and walking to and from by themselves. It’s pretty naive to think everyone moves en masse with a group at all times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Were they all looking at their phones?

This is the answer.

+1
And what the other poster said about not having a lot of time in between classes. DC is sometimes just rushing and doesn't have time to coordinate with friends and would prefer the down time. DC is very social but I think lunch on some days is more a practical experience of getting the calories in, catching up on email, double checking homework.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if it's a generational thing or big state school thing. I went to a SLAC 30 years ago and it was super rare to see people eating by themselves.

When we've eaten in the dining halls on admitted student days, seems like half the kids are eating by themselves. Also see vast majority of kids walking by themselves or sitting in common areas by themselves.

Is this just how it is these days or is this because of the size of the school so this was happening 30 years ago as well at large state schools?

I went to a university with a dining hall in each residential college. I would walk in for lunch alone after class and almost always sit with others because I knew so many people in my residential college. I usually went to dinner with a friend, but if not, would also have found someone to sit with. I did sometimes eat breakfast alone; I recall that being a much less social meal (except for weekend brunch).

I almost always walked around campus by myself, since my class schedule was usually different from my friends. I think this is pretty common. As for sitting in common areas or libraries, I did this by myself sometimes, other times I'd make plans to study with friends. It just varied.

[Anonymous]

People are kept company and entertained by their phones now.

[Anonymous]

SLACs have smaller campuses and the kids know each other better. On average, there is more close-knit stuff going on at these colleges. Then, again, it’s like a small town: everyone knows your business.

Large schools have kids scattered about and classes, dorms, and dining halls can be significant distances from each other. Also, the big numbers of kids tends to encourage the creation of small social groups for intimacy, but those small groups become thin when spread over a large campus.

[Anonymous]

FWIW, one of the reasons I transferred from a SLAC (<2000 students) to a state flagship is that I was tired of constantly being socially "on" and wanted to walk three feet without having to make small talk with someone I knew. Sometimes after class I was tired and just wanted to grab a bite to eat in peace and go take a nap lol.

[Anonymous]

My DD partially picked her school because the kids were walking in groups and eating together. Once she got there, she realized that kids who did not have friends were embarrassed to eat alone and it was a very cliquish school. She probably ate in the cafeteria 10 times her first semester. She ate in her room because it was too embarrassing to be seen alone. Granted, that was her insecurity but I do think normalizing eating alone is not a bad thing. She was jealous of her friend’s school, which had a set up for kids to eat alone (like bar stools or something similar, I can’t remember).

[Anonymous]

My son eats by himself because he's autistic.

[Anonymous]

My daughter noticed at Swarthmore that most students seemed to be walking between classes alone and that no one shouted out greetings (or teasing) to the tour guide.

That stood out (in a bad way) from the other SLAC we had visited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if it's a generational thing or big state school thing. I went to a SLAC 30 years ago and it was super rare to see people eating by themselves.

When we've eaten in the dining halls on admitted student days, seems like half the kids are eating by themselves. Also see vast majority of kids walking by themselves or sitting in common areas by themselves.

Is this just how it is these days or is this because of the size of the school so this was happening 30 years ago as well at large state schools?

It is not a good sign. Lots of lonely kids these days. I would choose schools that seemed to have more of a sense of community. My freshman never eats alone for any single meal. He has large group and they text and someone is always up for grabbing something to eat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Were they all looking at their phones?

+1