How much is too much for kids sports?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter has made the team for a sport that she has been doing for many years. She currently does 4 hours of practice a week right now. Practice will be 3 days a week for 3 hours at a time (Mon, Tues, Thursday from 5-8.) She is only 9, currently in 3rd grade. This would be for next school year. Skipping practice is highly discouraged plus travel competitions. This is going to put a strain on our family, miss family dinners, etc. She really wants to do it, and I am actually discouraging it - this isn't a parent living through their kid.

Would you let your kid do it for something they have worked very hard for?

What sport makes a 9 year old practice 3 hours a day 3 times a week besides gymnastics swimming

OP here. It is one of those two.

It’s gymnastics. Just have her do it recreationally or she is on a fast track to ruining her body.

+1. OP, why did you let her try out for the team if you’re not willing to support her? At this point I’d say let her do the team or find an acceptable alternative that she’s excited about. Good news for you is gymnastics is not a lifelong sport and lots of girls decide to switch to other sports once they hit puberty.

I really don’t get why so many moms go ga-ga for dance and gymnastics?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not. I think it’s a bad idea for kids to specialize so much at that age, mentally and physically.

Sometimes it can't be helped. I tried to involve my daughter in other sports. And what did she do? Spent all of soccer or softball practice doing cartwheels in the outfield or a roundoff before she would kick or pick up the ball. She knows what she wants to do in a way a lot of other kids don't. Some kids are dabblers, and some have an innate interest for a particular activity. It may wane or change over time, but so far everything else has been a waste of time, so this is what we do. She also goes 3x a week and would go every day if they would let her.

I understand a kid’s drive. I have that kid. They asked her to try out for the competition team at 6, she has talent and loves it. I didn’t think it was good for her, or our family, so we declined. Especially for gymnastics, I wouldn’t do it. If a kid has that intense competition/perfectionist drive, it’s not a healthy environment for them. If they don’t have that, rec level should be enough. We moved my daughter up to a harder class with bigger girls, but that is not the huge time commitment. There’s a middle ground.

To each their own but OP asked for opinions and I would vote no.

When you say rec do you mean Excel? Or like just basic rec classes? Most rec classes don't go beyond Level 3 and most of those are young kids. What about when your kid gets beyond that skill level? I don't see how regular rec classes is really a middle ground.

I am the previous poster with the boy in gymnastics. There are no rec levels for him beyond level 2 or just fun classes. He can't just take a class 1 hour a week and do the skills he wants to do at least not in any safe manner.

I know it can be an unhealthy environment but for a lot of kids its not and it has given my kids amazing friends and confidence he never had before.

[Anonymous]

Mine did competitive gymnastics. 9 hours a week is just the beginning. It quickly got to double that plus the competitions - local and travel. And it’s an 11 month sport with recommended optional practices for month 12. Mine did 6 days a week, 3 hours at a pop on weekdays, 4 or 5 on Saturdays and two weekday post practice clinics, which were 30-60 minutes a week with two 15 minute breaks stretching the time at the gym to 4.5 hours on those days.

Family dinners don’t happen. You end up taking them food so they can eat in the car on the way home. It’s a plus if your gym has a microwave you can use.

I didn’t see any kids where homework or grades were an issue. Every single kid was driven in all aspects of their life.

Vacations get planned around the sports schedule though that’s not different than HS sports where there are summer practices.

You might think all kids make gym friends. But if your kid gets really good and advances beyond her years, she won’t be spending much time with kids her age and the older kids won’t be her friends. Older girls can be really bossy and tough on the younger ones.

It is expensive so you have to be prepared for that. And there can be missed school if she makes the international team. But as I said, these kids are driven so it wasn’t really a problem. As an aside I remember my daughter’s fourth grade teacher making math videos and we’d watch them in the hotel during competitions.

It is hard if you have two parents who work, especially if it’s in person, not flexible and big jobs, which was us. Most kids on our team had a SAHP or a WAH with flexible job parent. We were one of the few with really demanding work lives for both parents.

You definitely have to figure out how to make family time if that’s important to you. We have other kids so we were always having to find ways to be together and being careful not to miss important events for the other kids.

Many kids age out because of body changes as PPs have noted. COVID was my daughter’s end. When sports reopened, she was going into HS and wanted more friend related sports, activities and time so she moved on.

No advice. Just sharing that in our experience it was a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter has made the team for a sport that she has been doing for many years. She currently does 4 hours of practice a week right now. Practice will be 3 days a week for 3 hours at a time (Mon, Tues, Thursday from 5-8.) She is only 9, currently in 3rd grade. This would be for next school year. Skipping practice is highly discouraged plus travel competitions. This is going to put a strain on our family, miss family dinners, etc. She really wants to do it, and I am actually discouraging it - this isn't a parent living through their kid.

Would you let your kid do it for something they have worked very hard for?

What sport makes a 9 year old practice 3 hours a day 3 times a week besides gymnastics swimming

OP here. It is one of those two.

It’s gymnastics. Just have her do it recreationally or she is on a fast track to ruining her body.

+1. OP, why did you let her try out for the team if you’re not willing to support her? At this point I’d say let her do the team or find an acceptable alternative that she’s excited about. The good news for you is gymnastics is not a lifelong sport and lots of girls decide to switch to other sports once they hit puberty.

This is why I make my daughter play other sports. The reality is that most quit at puberty, even the good ones, but they have an athletic base to do well on other sports, especially if they've tried them along the way. I just put my foot down and said she's got to do at least one other sport.

[Anonymous]

Gymnastics is such a thankless sport. Put your kids in sports they can play through at least their 20s

[Anonymous]

If the DD is clearly an outlier in talent like Simone Biles, I would help her. Almost nobody is in this group. In which case I would do what works for your family. Family sanity is more important. I could not stand swim meets and all that goes with that and put the kibosh on that. Kid still does swim but not swim team.

[Anonymous]

Maybe I missed it, but what does your DD think, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. We don't let our kids do team sports for this reason. A third grader doing 12 hours a week and traveling? No.

Ironically, the sports OP named were both individual sports. No team sports are pushing 9 year olds that hard

Travel soccer

Yup, I know a couple of kids in our neighborhood on a travel soccer team that practices 3x per week year round. I thought it was insane at first, but I will say that the specific kids who are doing it really truly adore it. I do think there's a big difference when the kids are pushing for more of their sport and can't get enough versus if the parents are driving it.

My kids love their sports and one of them would probably be happy as a clam with that kind of sport schedule, but it would break us as parents so it's a hard no.

[Anonymous]

This is definitely gymnastics. One of DC’s friends started a competitive gymnastics team this year and we never see her anymore.

[Anonymous]

My child does gymnastics. She's turning 9 and has been doing 12 hours/week for the past couple of years since she started team. It is an insane amount of time, but her workout group and her teammates are smart, kind girls who I frankly respect and enjoy more than her classmates at her well-regarded school.

She also does very low-key dance during the school year, skis seriously in the winter (but does not race- that wouldn't work) and does the usual summer sports like summer swim team and tennis.

I think the biggest trade-off is that she misses a lot of weekend birthday parties during meet season and occasionally misses school for meets that have Friday sessions or require Friday travel. We live in a region with few gyms so I think that problem is less common in the DC/VA area.

My daughter's personality is the kind that if gymnastics is not longer part of her life, she'll probably pick up something else intense like running or rowing. She was the baby/toddler who was so focused and serious that strangers and preschool teachers commented on it and made it clear that they saw it as a negative. I was grateful when she found gymnastics because her seriousness is seen a positive in that environment and she is happy and carefree when she's in the gym.

We're lucky to have found a very progressive, modern gym with a different atmosphere than most. Anyone thinking about that kind of commitment needs to watch team practices, count visible injuries, and observe the attitude and body language of girls at drop-off and pickup. We very intentionally also chose a gym that has a vast variety of body types of HS-aged athletes. Our coaches understand puberty and how to get girls to the other side of it in a healthy way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not. I think it’s a bad idea for kids to specialize so much at that age, mentally and physically.

Sometimes it can't be helped. I tried to involve my daughter in other sports. And what did she do? Spent all of soccer or softball practice doing cartwheels in the outfield or a roundoff before she would kick or pick up the ball. She knows what she wants to do in a way a lot of other kids don't. Some kids are dabblers, and some have an innate interest for a particular activity. It may wane or change over time, but so far everything else has been a waste of time, so this is what we do. She also goes 3x a week and would go every day if they would let her.

I understand a kid’s drive. I have that kid. They asked her to try out for the competition team at 6, she has talent and loves it. I didn’t think it was good for her, or our family, so we declined. Especially for gymnastics, I wouldn’t do it. If a kid has that intense competition/perfectionist drive, it’s not a healthy environment for them. If they don’t have that, rec level should be enough. We moved my daughter up to a harder class with bigger girls, but that is not the huge time commitment. There’s a middle ground.

To each their own but OP asked for opinions and I would vote no.

Ok but my kid doesn't want to do anything else. We tried Girl Scouts, piano, dance, soccer, softball, swimming and it's the only thing that stuck. We live in an area with enough gyms that there really isn't much travel. Most meets are about an hour away. We spend way more weekend time for my son's club baseball. Tournaments are two days and there could be 6 games. Games are 2 hours each, that's 12 hours of baseball, not including the down time between games. But he only practices 5-6 hours a week so I guess people find that much more acceptable? People just love to hate on gymnastics. It's weird.

[Anonymous]

If your kid has the potential to go pro and really truly could make a good living as an athlete, I don't see the problem in making your life revolve around kidsports.

But very few are naturally gifted enough for the investment to pay off. Best case scenario your kid gets a sports scholarship to a no-name university and they graduate with a comm degree and work at a car dealership. Worst case scenario they become a kidsports coach and keep the scam going. You'd have been better off focusing more on academics and keeping the sports as a rec level hobby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not. I think it’s a bad idea for kids to specialize so much at that age, mentally and physically.

Sometimes it can't be helped. I tried to involve my daughter in other sports. And what did she do? Spent all of soccer or softball practice doing cartwheels in the outfield or a roundoff before she would kick or pick up the ball. She knows what she wants to do in a way a lot of other kids don't. Some kids are dabblers, and some have an innate interest for a particular activity. It may wane or change over time, but so far everything else has been a waste of time, so this is what we do. She also goes 3x a week and would go every day if they would let her.

I understand a kid’s drive. I have that kid. They asked her to try out for the competition team at 6, she has talent and loves it. I didn’t think it was good for her, or our family, so we declined. Especially for gymnastics, I wouldn’t do it. If a kid has that intense competition/perfectionist drive, it’s not a healthy environment for them. If they don’t have that, rec level should be enough. We moved my daughter up to a harder class with bigger girls, but that is not the huge time commitment. There’s a middle ground.

To each their own but OP asked for opinions and I would vote no.

Ok but my kid doesn't want to do anything else. We tried Girl Scouts, piano, dance, soccer, softball, swimming and it's the only thing that stuck. We live in an area with enough gyms that there really isn't much travel. Most meets are about an hour away. We spend way more weekend time for my son's club baseball. Tournaments are two days and there could be 6 games. Games are 2 hours each, that's 12 hours of baseball, not including the down time between games. But he only practices 5-6 hours a week so I guess people find that much more acceptable? People just love to hate on gymnastics. It's weird.

I wouldn’t do travel baseball either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not. I think it’s a bad idea for kids to specialize so much at that age, mentally and physically.

Sometimes it can't be helped. I tried to involve my daughter in other sports. And what did she do? Spent all of soccer or softball practice doing cartwheels in the outfield or a roundoff before she would kick or pick up the ball. She knows what she wants to do in a way a lot of other kids don't. Some kids are dabblers, and some have an innate interest for a particular activity. It may wane or change over time, but so far everything else has been a waste of time, so this is what we do. She also goes 3x a week and would go every day if they would let her.

I understand a kid’s drive. I have that kid. They asked her to try out for the competition team at 6, she has talent and loves it. I didn’t think it was good for her, or our family, so we declined. Especially for gymnastics, I wouldn’t do it. If a kid has that intense competition/perfectionist drive, it’s not a healthy environment for them. If they don’t have that, rec level should be enough. We moved my daughter up to a harder class with bigger girls, but that is not the huge time commitment. There’s a middle ground.

To each their own but OP asked for opinions and I would vote no.

Ok but my kid doesn't want to do anything else. We tried Girl Scouts, piano, dance, soccer, softball, swimming and it's the only thing that stuck. We live in an area with enough gyms that there really isn't much travel. Most meets are about an hour away. We spend way more weekend time for my son's club baseball. Tournaments are two days and there could be 6 games. Games are 2 hours each, that's 12 hours of baseball, not including the down time between games. But he only practices 5-6 hours a week so I guess people find that much more acceptable? People just love to hate on gymnastics. It's weird.

I wouldn’t do travel baseball either.

Seems like your threshold is much lower than a lot of others. After a certain level or age everything is going to be more than 2-3 hours a week. If you just want to dabble that’s fine but after about 4th grade there are fewer casual rec options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not. I think it’s a bad idea for kids to specialize so much at that age, mentally and physically.

Sometimes it can't be helped. I tried to involve my daughter in other sports. And what did she do? Spent all of soccer or softball practice doing cartwheels in the outfield or a roundoff before she would kick or pick up the ball. She knows what she wants to do in a way a lot of other kids don't. Some kids are dabblers, and some have an innate interest for a particular activity. It may wane or change over time, but so far everything else has been a waste of time, so this is what we do. She also goes 3x a week and would go every day if they would let her.

I understand a kid’s drive. I have that kid. They asked her to try out for the competition team at 6, she has talent and loves it. I didn’t think it was good for her, or our family, so we declined. Especially for gymnastics, I wouldn’t do it. If a kid has that intense competition/perfectionist drive, it’s not a healthy environment for them. If they don’t have that, rec level should be enough. We moved my daughter up to a harder class with bigger girls, but that is not the huge time commitment. There’s a middle ground.

To each their own but OP asked for opinions and I would vote no.

Ok but my kid doesn't want to do anything else. We tried Girl Scouts, piano, dance, soccer, softball, swimming and it's the only thing that stuck. We live in an area with enough gyms that there really isn't much travel. Most meets are about an hour away. We spend way more weekend time for my son's club baseball. Tournaments are two days and there could be 6 games. Games are 2 hours each, that's 12 hours of baseball, not including the down time between games. But he only practices 5-6 hours a week so I guess people find that much more acceptable? People just love to hate on gymnastics. It's weird.

I wouldn’t do travel baseball either.

My son does rec baseball and it's four days a week so between 6 to 8 hours. It's still a lot!