How can I exhibit high value traits while not being attractive?

[Anonymous]

I just can’t with this thread. There’s a lid for every pot OP. Check out that cyber nerd who just got 25 years in prison. His girlfriend is the opposite of a looker. Be comfortable with who you are and you’ll be fine. Learn to like yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to get more attractive. Go to the gym, change your diet, change your wardrobe, change your hair style/color, wear some subtle makeup. If you need to get your skin or teeth fixed professionally, do it. You are an adult; time to act like one if you want to get married.

This is OP. I actually already eat incredibly healthfully and while not athletic, I regularly workout by going to barre and pilates and walking plenty.I am slender although a size 4 and 6.

My problem is I have an ugly face. I have an odd and asymmetrical face shape along with a large asymmetrical nose. Even expensive makeup doesn't help!

That is really hard. I’m sorry. I will say that a woman I know with the largest nose I’ve seen in real life is married to an absolute gem of a man. Looks-wise, they are on par with each other, but he’s an amazing guy. I’d focus on getting my social skills and emotional health into tip-top shape, so I can attract a person with beautiful insides. Be very flexible on his height in particular.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I attended an expensive overnight camp for girls. That experience taught me that being attractive can definitely be purchased.

There used to be a nurse practitioner in Bethesda with a practice called “fresh face”. Go see someone like that. There are fillers, Botox, PRP facials, lasers. Sometimes people need something more extensive, like a nose job. Well, if you need it, get it.

Straighten and whiten teeth.

Go to a high-end hairdresser. Get highlights, lowlights, keratin treatment, products, and probably a Revlon blow dry brush or the Dyson airwrap.

Do personal shopper at Nordstrom for a few outfits or read blogs then buy some things.

Join a gym, workout, and clean-up your diet.

Looking good is possible for any woman. It’s just a lot of work.

Some of this is terrible advice and some is great advice.

If a man agrees with all of this I would 200% not date him.

For me exercise and eating well is important.

Hitting the gym to me is a red flag and never indulging is also a HUGE red flag.

Sure if you are OCD and would like to date a type A person who judges you all day long go for it, you might be soul mates.

Exercise is going for a hike, bike riding. Kayaking, pickleball for fun (not competition), yoga.

Fillers? F no,

What I do agree with is you should …

Twice a year, Good a really good hairdresser and learn how to do your hair at every stage of life.

Have a good skincare routine, including the skin all over your body includes sunscreen. is not vanity. This is healthcare.

Go to Nordstrom and have somebody help you pick out clothes or best friend or stylist. Do this once every two years our bodies change clothes change it’s a lot to figure out.

I agree with do yourself a favor if your parents never got your braces and you really really really need them. Good healthcare it’s very expensive. You don’t have to have super white crazy teeth with veneers on the front, but they should be healthy. The healthy teeth, the healthier bodies.

Also be kind when dating.

Going to the gym is just fine. What a weird take.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP. Hugs.

Ugh, all of this advice to attract people who place value on looks when you are in fact slender and healthy is nauseating. If you are worried that your facial features won't attract people, I would stay away from the vapid hell hole that is the online dating world. Perhaps join meetup groups or other in-person activities that match your interests and find connections from there.

In the meantime, find joys in connections with friends, family, pets, hobbies, nature, volunteering, work, and other known facets of your life that make you smile and carry you through your days.

I wish you well!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP. Hugs.

Ugh, all of this advice to attract people who place value on looks when you are in fact slender and healthy is nauseating. If you are worried that your facial features won't attract people, I would stay away from the vapid hell hole that is the online dating world. Perhaps join meetup groups or other in-person activities that match your interests and find connections from there.

In the meantime, find joys in connections with friends, family, pets, hobbies, nature, volunteering, work, and other known facets of your life that make you smile and carry you through your days.

I wish you well!

Agree. Also, look for men in your league, so to speak, and try to find someone that matches your energy. If you are bubbly, you want someone who is similar, etc. Some women think they are prettier than they actually are, because their face is symmetrical. Of course, they wonder why they keep attracting vapid, even though they are also vapid. Symmetry is not everything. You want to be with a good, nice person that likes you for you, not because your nose looks a certain way (or doesn't).

[Anonymous]

Hitting the gym is a red flag? WTF?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I attended an expensive overnight camp for girls. That experience taught me that being attractive can definitely be purchased.

There used to be a nurse practitioner in Bethesda with a practice called “fresh face”. Go see someone like that. There are fillers, Botox, PRP facials, lasers. Sometimes people need something more extensive, like a nose job. Well, if you need it, get it.

Straighten and whiten teeth.

Go to a high-end hairdresser. Get highlights, lowlights, keratin treatment, products, and probably a Revlon blow dry brush or the Dyson airwrap.

Do personal shopper at Nordstrom for a few outfits or read blogs then buy some things.

Join a gym, workout, and clean-up your diet.

Looking good is possible for any woman. It’s just a lot of work.

All of this. I wasn't born beautiful, but I've done all of the above and am above average now, especially relative to my peers. I'm shy and not naturally flirtatious, but I did very well with online dating because it requires you to signal an interest (just the act of being online and accepting a coffee date), and that was enough. Everyone I met online was interested in continuing dating, but meeting people in person was difficult for me (though I did have friends and family who wanted to set me up, and that likely would have worked well).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to get more attractive. Go to the gym, change your diet, change your wardrobe, change your hair style/color, wear some subtle makeup. If you need to get your skin or teeth fixed professionally, do it. You are an adult; time to act like one if you want to get married.

This is OP. I actually already eat incredibly healthfully and while not athletic, I regularly workout by going to barre and pilates and walking plenty.I am slender although a size 4 and 6.

My problem is I have an ugly face. I have an odd and asymmetrical face shape along with a large asymmetrical nose. Even expensive makeup doesn't help!

Most people who have had a nose job are happy with the results, myself included. However, I also love that SJP embraces her natural look and never changed her nose, and I what she represents. It seems like you're stuck in the middle: unhappy with your face but thus far unwilling to change it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I attended an expensive overnight camp for girls. That experience taught me that being attractive can definitely be purchased.

There used to be a nurse practitioner in Bethesda with a practice called “fresh face”. Go see someone like that. There are fillers, Botox, PRP facials, lasers. Sometimes people need something more extensive, like a nose job. Well, if you need it, get it.

Straighten and whiten teeth.

Go to a high-end hairdresser. Get highlights, lowlights, keratin treatment, products, and probably a Revlon blow dry brush or the Dyson airwrap.

Do personal shopper at Nordstrom for a few outfits or read blogs then buy some things.

Join a gym, workout, and clean-up your diet.

Looking good is possible for any woman. It’s just a lot of work.

Or another path:

Be easygoing, fun and not a doormat. Like sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to get more attractive. Go to the gym, change your diet, change your wardrobe, change your hair style/color, wear some subtle makeup. If you need to get your skin or teeth fixed professionally, do it. You are an adult; time to act like one if you want to get married.

This is OP. I actually already eat incredibly healthfully and while not athletic, I regularly workout by going to barre and pilates and walking plenty.I am slender although a size 4 and 6.

My problem is I have an ugly face. I have an odd and asymmetrical face shape along with a large asymmetrical nose. Even expensive makeup doesn't help!

Most people who have had a nose job are happy with the results, myself included. However, I also love that SJP embraces her natural look and never changed her nose, and I what she represents. It seems like you're stuck in the middle: unhappy with your face but thus far unwilling to change it.

Yeah, she's not conventionally beautiful, but she has perfect teeth, skin, hair, and body... and tons of charisma. I think she's very attractive in a particular way. Speaking for myself (and observations about other similar women) it is worth investing in your health, personality, hobbies and career. Be an interesting person worth dating!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP. Hugs.

Ugh, all of this advice to attract people who place value on looks when you are in fact slender and healthy is nauseating. If you are worried that your facial features won't attract people, I would stay away from the vapid hell hole that is the online dating world. Perhaps join meetup groups or other in-person activities that match your interests and find connections from there.

In the meantime, find joys in connections with friends, family, pets, hobbies, nature, volunteering, work, and other known facets of your life that make you smile and carry you through your days.

I wish you well!

Agree. Also, look for men in your league, so to speak, and try to find someone that matches your energy. If you are bubbly, you want someone who is similar, etc. Some women think they are prettier than they actually are, because their face is symmetrical. Of course, they wonder why they keep attracting vapid, even though they are also vapid. Symmetry is not everything. You want to be with a good, nice person that likes you for you, not because your nose looks a certain way (or doesn't).

Almost every couple we know has different personalities. I don’t necessarily think a bubbly girl should be with a bubbly guy. If OP has a good personality and nice figure, I’m sure she can get someone. He may not be physically attractive or a high earner but she can find someone kind who is less superficial. Nice shiny hair and flattering clothing should help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to get more attractive. Go to the gym, change your diet, change your wardrobe, change your hair style/color, wear some subtle makeup. If you need to get your skin or teeth fixed professionally, do it. You are an adult; time to act like one if you want to get married.

This is OP. I actually already eat incredibly healthfully and while not athletic, I regularly workout by going to barre and pilates and walking plenty.I am slender although a size 4 and 6.

My problem is I have an ugly face. I have an odd and asymmetrical face shape along with a large asymmetrical nose. Even expensive makeup doesn't help!

Most people who have had a nose job are happy with the results, myself included. However, I also love that SJP embraces her natural look and never changed her nose, and I what she represents. It seems like you're stuck in the middle: unhappy with your face but thus far unwilling to change it.

Yeah, she's not conventionally beautiful, but she has perfect teeth, skin, hair, and body... and tons of charisma. I think she's very attractive in a particular way. Speaking for myself (and observations about other similar women) it is worth investing in your health, personality, hobbies and career. Be an interesting person worth dating!

SJP is a bad example. While her nose is not perfect, she has a very symmetrical face and is still pretty. She may not be the prettiest for Hollywood but she would be very pretty around normal people.

[Anonymous]

Do you come from family money or have a prestigious education and/or career?

That should help.

If you are not attractive, not rich and not well educated, it may be much more difficult to find a high value man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you come from family money or have a prestigious education and/or career?

That should help.

If you are not attractive, not rich and not well educated, it may be much more difficult to find a high value man.

Peak DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you come from family money or have a prestigious education and/or career?

That should help.

If you are not attractive, not rich and not well educated, it may be much more difficult to find a high value man.

If you are looking for high quality men vs high value men, your parameters may be different.