Parents/Families at these schools...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who gives a shit what the families are like? You’re not going to school, your kid is. God private school people are weird.

Actually, it does matter. My DD was looking at all girls schools and often, the moms can drive who socializes with who and can influence the friend group. We visited three schools and found the following:

#1 - Lots of unemployed moms who hung around the school "volunteering" all of the time and basically, had their hand in all aspects of school activities, who their kid could socialize with, etc.

#2 - Most moms with great and impressive careers but also were members of country clubs and most socialization revolved only those families who were similarly situated.

#3 - Lots of educated moms with great careers - many of whom were wealthy but were still down to earth and welcoming to me and my kid. Volunteered at the school when asked but were otherwise very involved in their own personal lives/careers.

Guess which school we chose?

I’m gonna guess 3 - Sidwell!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a mom who doesn’t work outside the home and if someone described me as an unemployed mom I would probably punch them in their flinty eyed face so whoever wrote that, if you’re wondering why the moms at your school don’t like you let this be a clue.

This seems like an odd bone to pick. From the Oxford Dictionary:

un·em·ployed (adjective) (of a person) without a paid job but available to work

Whether you are educated and wealthy or poor and uneducated, both of you can be considered unemployed. Even if you don't like it, it's true.

Beyond the literal definition, it can have a negative connotation (you’re not ambitious, you don’t work, etc., which if you’ve ever been a homemaker with kids, is patently untrue on all accounts)

I absolutely understand this but it is still, nonetheless, true.

[Anonymous]

I think its interesting that people assume every type of parent doesn't exist at all these schools. Choose one school over another isn't going to be like a magic social circle of happiness. The best thing you can do is pick the school based on the philosophy of the school and if it feels like a good fit for your kid. Chances are, if you do that..you will find families that value similar things and likely vibe with many of them as a result.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM stereotypes of the parents at my kid's school were 100% right. I wish I'd believed them going in instead of being led down the garden path by admissions and admin. I'm not sure it would have changed anything but at least I would have had my eyes open.

Search for the worst, most troll filled threads you can find about your prospective schools. Take everything you read about the parent vibe as absolute gospel.

Thank me later.

What was this school?

Yes, I would like to know.

The school isn't the point. The point is, stereotypes exist for a reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think its interesting that people assume every type of parent doesn't exist at all these schools. Choose one school over another isn't going to be like a magic social circle of happiness. The best thing you can do is pick the school based on the philosophy of the school and if it feels like a good fit for your kid. Chances are, if you do that..you will find families that value similar things and likely vibe with many of them as a result.

There's different centers of gravity though, and none of these places are all that big.

[Anonymous]

I’ll say it.. because all of this is silly

Ignore it and enroll as you wish regardless

Don’t let anyone manipulate the WL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:stereotypes exist for a reason

To facilitate lazy thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think its interesting that people assume every type of parent doesn't exist at all these schools. Choose one school over another isn't going to be like a magic social circle of happiness. The best thing you can do is pick the school based on the philosophy of the school and if it feels like a good fit for your kid. Chances are, if you do that..you will find families that value similar things and likely vibe with many of them as a result.

This isn't true. Many of these schools have a significantly higher number of a specific type of personality, which is why they have the reputations they do. Ignore it and you'll end up stuck at a school with moms who don't have much else going on outside of the school and they will let you know while making your child miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a mom who doesn’t work outside the home and if someone described me as an unemployed mom I would probably punch them in their flinty eyed face so whoever wrote that, if you’re wondering why the moms at your school don’t like you let this be a clue.

Yes! “Unemployed”….beyond rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a mom who doesn’t work outside the home and if someone described me as an unemployed mom I would probably punch them in their flinty eyed face so whoever wrote that, if you’re wondering why the moms at your school don’t like you let this be a clue.

This seems like an odd bone to pick. From the Oxford Dictionary:

un·em·ployed (adjective) (of a person) without a paid job but available to work

Whether you are educated and wealthy or poor and uneducated, both of you can be considered unemployed. Even if you don't like it, it's true.

Beyond the literal definition, it can have a negative connotation (you’re not ambitious, you don’t work, etc., which if you’ve ever been a homemaker with kids, is patently untrue on all accounts)

I absolutely understand this but it is still, nonetheless, true.

Words, and the context in which they are used, matter. In this case, ‘unemployed’ while factually correct, was used to disparage women who were volunteering at their children’s school. I was a stay-at-home dad for a long time, and spent many hours (and dollars) volunteering at schools, cleaning the house, doing the shopping, and raising my kids. The shit is work, if people want to trivialize it by throwing in factually correct but dick-head terms, have at it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:stereotypes exist for a reason

To facilitate lazy thinking.

Yes. Lazy thinking is your friend sometimes. Hard thinking tells you "oh, after ask these mental gymnastics, I think I'll be fine as a conservative at GDS." And you know what? You might be. But you'd likely be happier elsewhere. And even if you stick with GDS, you're better going in with open eyes that it'll be a harder road. Advantage lazy thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually the parent community matters. You end up interacting with them and their children will end up engaging with yours ( or not if it’s cliquish and think your family does not fit etc.)

Why do you end up interacting with them? Why is it different than public school? Are you joining a social club or a school?

You don’t get it if you are not in a top private. There are games 1-2 times a week you attend with other parents and events at the school 1-2 times per month at least in addition to these are the kids and families affecting your kids. It matters.

This is only true at younger ages. This is NOT the case for parents joining a HS in 9th grade. There will be parents you never see until graduation. Especially at schools with high profile and VIP families. I met some lovely families at our school and there were clearly others who never attended, but they didn't want to get to know anybody new by 9th anyway. No loss for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually the parent community matters. You end up interacting with them and their children will end up engaging with yours ( or not if it’s cliquish and think your family does not fit etc.)

Why do you end up interacting with them? Why is it different than public school? Are you joining a social club or a school?

It is a smaller community than public schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lazy thinking is your friend sometimes.

Key word is "sometimes." Most people get further in life with predominately hard thinking.

[Anonymous]

I can’t read all of this.

PSA: take your Big 3 offer