How do nannies care for a baby and older kid?

[Anonymous]

pp, it does not sound so good to me, the baby in your scenario seems to be either strapped in the car seat, or carried in the carrier, or sitting in the stroller most of their day. Of course, if it is the matter of survival as a nanny it is OK, but definitely not the best thing for the baby. Babies have to be on the floor most of their awake time, and be able to move freely. Also, are you saying your 2 yr olds napped in the morning AND afternoon?

[Anonymous]

My kids are 18 months apart and I took care of them solo, like 75% of the time as a SAHM. Do you think your nanny is somehow the first caregiver in the world who is navigating this task? Like, all kids who are close in age and cared for by a single adult are in mortal danger all the time?? The lack of perspective and tone deafness in OP's post is high.

Maybe you 1. Shouldn't have had kids so close together or 2. Hire a second nanny or 3. Take care of your own damn children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, your ob can prescribe meds for your anxiety

Or birth control, since based on your OP no single caregiver (parent or nanny) could successfully tend to your children safely based on their specific ages.

Oops.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how do YOU take care of them both?

You do...right?

Haha! Hysterical. Just what I was thinking. How have mothers for centuries taken care of more than one child??

We have friends with two kids who are never alone with both their children at once. It's always mom + dad, or parent + nanny, or parent + grandparent. Apparently some people really can't manage more than one child at a time.

I am 100% this person. In fact, I wonder if you are taking about me 😂

It’s not that I can’t. It’s just, why would I when I have the option of support?

That sounds exhausting to coordinate your life to always have another adult around.

I have 3 kids ages 2-8 and manage them all on my own just fine. I can’t imagine needing my husband or mom around just to take them to an activity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:pp, it does not sound so good to me, the baby in your scenario seems to be either strapped in the car seat, or carried in the carrier, or sitting in the stroller most of their day. Of course, if it is the matter of survival as a nanny it is OK, but definitely not the best thing for the baby. Babies have to be on the floor most of their awake time, and be able to move freely. Also, are you saying your 2 yr olds napped in the morning AND afternoon?

At the newborn stage?

[Anonymous]

newborns in the back carrier, or "sitting in the stroller?" Sounds crazy to me since newborns need head support at all times. Maybe they were not 'newborns" but 3-4 month olds? As a mother , i would not be comfortable with a fragile newborn to be bounced around like that, but you do you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are 18 months apart and I took care of them solo, like 75% of the time as a SAHM. Do you think your nanny is somehow the first caregiver in the world who is navigating this task? Like, all kids who are close in age and cared for by a single adult are in mortal danger all the time?? The lack of perspective and tone deafness in OP's post is high.

Maybe you 1. Shouldn't have had kids so close together or 2. Hire a second nanny or 3. Take care of your own damn children.

I too did a tremendous amount of eye rolling at this post. Some parents really have no clue how to care for their own kids. I was getting really smug about it

However, I guess I did space out my kids so that my oldest was in PK 3 when I had a newborn, so I could give the baby what he needed and we went to get his brother at 3:15. Of course there were days when I had them both, but it was an exception.

[Anonymous]

Make sure you hire a professional with experience. She will do a better job than you can. Also make sure she is calmer than you. For me, I also needed a nanny with the patience I lacked. Seriously, just like you do at work, hire for the qualities you need (and sometimes lack).

My kids are older now and I'm so glad I was reflective enough to know my deficiencies. My kids are very balanced, healthy, and happy. We all have a good relationships and still keep in touch with our nanny who stayed for 10 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know this will sound like a dumb question but please be kind. How can a nanny provide good care to both a baby (4 months) and an older child (age 2)?

I’m going back to work soon and don’t understand how our nanny can care for both kids without putting one in a bad situation at times.

Examples:
-If they’re at the playground, she can’t prevent DD from falling off equipment while sitting next to DS’s stroller. DS dislikes baby carriers, but even if she did wear him, she wouldn’t have full mobility. DD had a bad fall recently (on my watch), so I’m feeling anxious about this.
-DS’s wake windows are short, so he often needs to be put down for a nap at inconvenient times, like during DD’s meals or while she’s making messy art in the basement. DD is a slow eater and underweight. If DS gets tired during DD’s meal, it seems like nanny’s options are 1) leave DD alone while she takes DS upstairs for a nap; or 2) bring DD upstairs mid-meal and try to convince her to play quietly alone while nanny rocks baby to sleep. Option 1 clearly puts DD at risk of choking. My concern with option 2 is that DD won’t finish meals after they’ve been interrupted, and she’s already so thin. Putting DS in a swing for a mid-meal nap isn’t an option.

What am I missing? How do people do this safely?

The same way trillions of mothers have taken care of their children since Eve had Cain and Abel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are 18 months apart and I took care of them solo, like 75% of the time as a SAHM. Do you think your nanny is somehow the first caregiver in the world who is navigating this task? Like, all kids who are close in age and cared for by a single adult are in mortal danger all the time?? The lack of perspective and tone deafness in OP's post is high.

Maybe you 1. Shouldn't have had kids so close together or 2. Hire a second nanny or 3. Take care of your own damn children.

Amen and +one million. Babies should not have babies!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know this will sound like a dumb question but please be kind. How can a nanny provide good care to both a baby (4 months) and an older child (age 2)?

I’m going back to work soon and don’t understand how our nanny can care for both kids without putting one in a bad situation at times.

Examples:
-If they’re at the playground, she can’t prevent DD from falling off equipment while sitting next to DS’s stroller. DS dislikes baby carriers, but even if she did wear him, she wouldn’t have full mobility. DD had a bad fall recently (on my watch), so I’m feeling anxious about this.
-DS’s wake windows are short, so he often needs to be put down for a nap at inconvenient times, like during DD’s meals or while she’s making messy art in the basement. DD is a slow eater and underweight. If DS gets tired during DD’s meal, it seems like nanny’s options are 1) leave DD alone while she takes DS upstairs for a nap; or 2) bring DD upstairs mid-meal and try to convince her to play quietly alone while nanny rocks baby to sleep. Option 1 clearly puts DD at risk of choking. My concern with option 2 is that DD won’t finish meals after they’ve been interrupted, and she’s already so thin. Putting DS in a swing for a mid-meal nap isn’t an option.

What am I missing? How do people do this safely?

You should be prepared to quit your job and be a SAHM because you are going to drive a nanny crazy and she will quit on the spot the first week of working for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how do YOU take care of them both?

You do...right?

Haha! Hysterical. Just what I was thinking. How have mothers for centuries taken care of more than one child??

We have friends with two kids who are never alone with both their children at once. It's always mom + dad, or parent + nanny, or parent + grandparent. Apparently some people really can't manage more than one child at a time.

I am 100% this person. In fact, I wonder if you are taking about me 😂

It’s not that I can’t. It’s just, why would I when I have the option of support?

Because you enjoy spending time with your kids? How can some of you hold down these executive level jobs but can’t figure out how to spend time with your kids without help?

Same way you can play at a child's level all day and your brain doesn't morph to mush - people are different.

[Anonymous]

OP you have to remember this is the first time you've been a mother to multiple kids. Presumably you've hired a nanny with experience--this isn't her first time caring for multiple kids. Things always seem daunting if we haven't done them before, but as we gain experience, it becomes second nature--like your first time driving or dating, or performing surgery etc. Scary the first time, or to people who haven't done it, but as you gain experience, it's not hard anymore.

The second baby might have stroller naps in the morning, your older child might have to wait an extra 10 min for lunch while nanny feeds the baby or changes a diaper, baby might have to cry 2-3 or 5 minutes while nanny deals with your daughter. That's not bad! It's teaching patience and resilience--something we all need to learn.

Also, all kids are different. What kid 1 needed might be different than kid 2. Kid 2 might be a great eater or sleeper or whatever, kid 1 might become a faster/better eater seeing the baby scarf down their food or knowing her time will be up soon because it's nap time or whatever. You never know.

Also---unless your doctor has said otherwise, I'd be careful about nagging your kid to eat. Let them learn to listen to their belly and eat when they're hungry which might not be on your time schedule. Your daughter may catch up later, or she may just always be small.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how do YOU take care of them both?

You do...right?

Haha! Hysterical. Just what I was thinking. How have mothers for centuries taken care of more than one child??

We have friends with two kids who are never alone with both their children at once. It's always mom + dad, or parent + nanny, or parent + grandparent. Apparently some people really can't manage more than one child at a time.

I am 100% this person. In fact, I wonder if you are taking about me 😂

It’s not that I can’t. It’s just, why would I when I have the option of support?

That sounds exhausting to coordinate your life to always have another adult around.

I have 3 kids ages 2-8 and manage them all on my own just fine. I can’t imagine needing my husband or mom around just to take them to an activity.

I guess different strokes? To me your life sounds exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how do YOU take care of them both?

You do...right?

Haha! Hysterical. Just what I was thinking. How have mothers for centuries taken care of more than one child??

We have friends with two kids who are never alone with both their children at once. It's always mom + dad, or parent + nanny, or parent + grandparent. Apparently some people really can't manage more than one child at a time.

I am 100% this person. In fact, I wonder if you are taking about me 😂

It’s not that I can’t. It’s just, why would I when I have the option of support?

Why have kids if you cannot be alone with them?

I love my kids and they are my life. I could be alone with them. I don’t have to be because I have a lot of family support. You don’t need to be alone with your kid 24:7 to enjoy them and have deep family bonds.