How do nannies care for a baby and older kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how do YOU take care of them both?

You do...right?

Haha! Hysterical. Just what I was thinking. How have mothers for centuries taken care of more than one child??

We have friends with two kids who are never alone with both their children at once. It's always mom + dad, or parent + nanny, or parent + grandparent. Apparently some people really can't manage more than one child at a time.

I am 100% this person. In fact, I wonder if you are taking about me 😂

It’s not that I can’t. It’s just, why would I when I have the option of support?

[Anonymous]

What your eldest will learn is that life no longer revolves around her. She will need to learn to compromise. She might need to wait a moment for the nanny to push her on the swing or she may need to play quietly for a moment while the baby is being put down. It's valuable life skill to learn to take other people into account.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how do YOU take care of them both?

You do...right?

Haha! Hysterical. Just what I was thinking. How have mothers for centuries taken care of more than one child??

We have friends with two kids who are never alone with both their children at once. It's always mom + dad, or parent + nanny, or parent + grandparent. Apparently some people really can't manage more than one child at a time.

I am 100% this person. In fact, I wonder if you are taking about me 😂

It’s not that I can’t. It’s just, why would I when I have the option of support?

Why have kids if you cannot be alone with them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how do YOU take care of them both?

You do...right?

Haha! Hysterical. Just what I was thinking. How have mothers for centuries taken care of more than one child??

We have friends with two kids who are never alone with both their children at once. It's always mom + dad, or parent + nanny, or parent + grandparent. Apparently some people really can't manage more than one child at a time.

I am 100% this person. In fact, I wonder if you are taking about me 😂

It’s not that I can’t. It’s just, why would I when I have the option of support?

Because you enjoy spending time with your kids? How can some of you hold down these executive level jobs but can’t figure out how to spend time with your kids without help?

[Anonymous]

I know it seems overwhelming but a good nanny will figure it out. I remember being terrified to be alone with two kids after the second one was born. It took me 6-7 weeks before I could do it without panicking. We spent my maternity leave giving the nanny time to adjust. First month, she took care of older kid while I managed the baby. Second month, she had more time with the baby while I did things with the older child. Third month, she built up her time watching both kids while I worked out or ran errands. She found the rhythm that worked and she definitely took the older kid to the park and figured out both kids nap schedules and feedings. It just takes time, patience, and flexibility. Some parts of the routine will get modified for a while and that’s okay. Kids change so quickly that the challenge you are envisioning might exist for a few weeks and then not be a problem anymore.

[Anonymous]

There was a period when I dreaded watching both my boys by myself: they were maybe 4 and 1 and just liked to go in different directions. But a 4 months old and a toddler would not be an issue. The baby is not mobile yet.

Once both kids are bigger, you might want to send the older one to daycare/preschool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how do YOU take care of them both?

You do...right?

Haha! Hysterical. Just what I was thinking. How have mothers for centuries taken care of more than one child??

We have friends with two kids who are never alone with both their children at once. It's always mom + dad, or parent + nanny, or parent + grandparent. Apparently some people really can't manage more than one child at a time.

I am 100% this person. In fact, I wonder if you are taking about me 😂

It’s not that I can’t. It’s just, why would I when I have the option of support?

It builds life skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know it seems overwhelming but a good nanny will figure it out. I remember being terrified to be alone with two kids after the second one was born. It took me 6-7 weeks before I could do it without panicking. We spent my maternity leave giving the nanny time to adjust. First month, she took care of older kid while I managed the baby. Second month, she had more time with the baby while I did things with the older child. Third month, she built up her time watching both kids while I worked out or ran errands. She found the rhythm that worked and she definitely took the older kid to the park and figured out both kids nap schedules and feedings. It just takes time, patience, and flexibility. Some parts of the routine will get modified for a while and that’s okay. Kids change so quickly that the challenge you are envisioning might exist for a few weeks and then not be a problem anymore.

OP here. Thank you, this is reassuring. Part of what’s stressing me out is that my previously delightful 2 year old has been obstinate and throwing tantrums for the past month. Our nanny has experience with caring for 2 kids at a time, but not a little baby and a toddler. But you’re right, everyone will adjust to the new routine.

[Anonymous]

This is insane. Moms do this all the time. This is not some unique feat. You figure it out as you go along.

OP how on earth are YOU going to take care of them both on your own?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how do YOU take care of them both?

You do...right?

Haha! Hysterical. Just what I was thinking. How have mothers for centuries taken care of more than one child??

We have friends with two kids who are never alone with both their children at once. It's always mom + dad, or parent + nanny, or parent + grandparent. Apparently some people really can't manage more than one child at a time.

Omg this explains so much. I am a teacher and am sometimes stunned at how much kids expect adults to do for them. Some of them have always had their own adult at all times!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is insane. Moms do this all the time. This is not some unique feat. You figure it out as you go along.

OP how on earth are YOU going to take care of them both on your own?

+1

And not just two babies. Think about our ancestors they had multiple kids under five. You just do. It really isn’t rocket science.

I think the biggest key is that you have to let kids learn to entertain themselves. Maybe that’s where some moms get confused. We as parents are not the kids sole source of entertainment and attention. They need to learn independent play, they will learn, patience, waiting, turns, etc.

[Anonymous]

The same way a parent can handle 2 (or more!) children by themselves.

When my second was a baby, I would have my toddler in the sandbox when I was nursing on a park bench. I would strap the baby into the stroller securely while I played on climbing things and swings with the 2 yr old.
Baby likely takes 2 naps and toddler takes one. Baby will likely need to take one nap in the stroller so they aren’t stuck home all day.

[Anonymous]

It will be ok if shes done it before. Kids behave differently with care takers who are not their mom. Your two year old is having a hard time adjusting to the baby. Thats to be expected. We had a nanny for a 6 month and 4 year old (covid so no preschool). And it was great. But the 4 year old is much more independent and could do her own thing in the house of needed.

[Anonymous]

Most kids aren’t as high maintenance as yours apparently are…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The same way a parent can handle 2 (or more!) children by themselves.

When my second was a baby, I would have my toddler in the sandbox when I was nursing on a park bench. I would strap the baby into the stroller securely while I played on climbing things and swings with the 2 yr old.
Baby likely takes 2 naps and toddler takes one. Baby will likely need to take one nap in the stroller so they aren’t stuck home all day.

The stark reality of babies who aren’t the oldest is that they don’t get rocked to sleep and put down in their crib on a set schedule and sometimes you miss the sleepy window and they are fussy. Or sometimes your underweight toddler consumes more fairlife high protein milk and nutragrain bars than you’d prefer - real life example from my house.

Nannies can care for 2 kids the same as a parent can. That means it is less than perfect but good enough. As long as you recognize your nanny is a real human, not Mary Poppins, and don’t have higher standards for her than you do for yourself, you’ll be ok.