NOT redshirting august DS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’ll regret it. Give him the gift of a year.

You aren't gifting a year. You are delaying being an adult and college for a year, which meets your needs, not theirs. If they are delayed, get them help. OP is saying her child is on target and there is zero reason to delay.

We caved into the pressure with our September child. Child ended up skipping a grade early on as it wasn't the right choice.

Parents do it as it's easier for them. Teachers push it as it's easier on them.

You cannot gift time or maturity. Holding back does not make them less mature. It lowers the expectations so your child isn't being compared to kids their own age so they look artificially more mature than they really are.

Do you feel the same about gap years? Because that’s often recommended and it also delays adulthood. And no, it doesn’t lower expectations because they are the same. The kids are always within a few months of each other give or take.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone who is answering this before their kids are HS age is giving premature feedback. Middle school / HS is when the reasons for potential regrets (if present) will become show up

No, because you can reassess the situation in later grades and hold back if it is really for the best. It's easy to repeat a middle school year by switching schools.

If you hold back at K you can't get that extra year back unless you have a unicorn school that lets kids skip grades.

Send on time and monitor. That is the sensible and less risky path.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’ll regret it. Give him the gift of a year.

You aren't gifting a year. You are delaying being an adult and college for a year, which meets your needs, not theirs. If they are delayed, get them help. OP is saying her child is on target and there is zero reason to delay.

We caved into the pressure with our September child. Child ended up skipping a grade early on as it wasn't the right choice.

Parents do it as it's easier for them. Teachers push it as it's easier on them.

You cannot gift time or maturity. Holding back does not make them less mature. It lowers the expectations so your child isn't being compared to kids their own age so they look artificially more mature than they really are.

Do you feel the same about gap years? Because that’s often recommended and it also delays adulthood. And no, it doesn’t lower expectations because they are the same. The kids are always within a few months of each other give or take.

I've never heard anyone recommend it except for kids who didn't get into the school they want and refuse other schools or rich parents where money is no issue. There is no gap year in our home. You either go to college or you get a job and support yourself.

When my kids struggle, we get them the help they need if we cannot do it ourselves.

There are huge age differences in HS given kids are in mixed classes so holding a child back just furthers that.

You are having them lose a year of being an adult. You will die the same age either way so you cannot gift time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone who is answering this before their kids are HS age is giving premature feedback. Middle school / HS is when the reasons for potential regrets (if present) will become show up

I have a high school-age child and the age issue has come up a few times. We looked at privates in ES and they recommended holding back based on age. My child was so confused as to why they'd recommend it without knowing them, looking at their grades or test scores, and said no.

I've talked about it over the years with my child as they were confused about why friends the same age/birthday are a year younger. Some were held back by parents, others were not able to go because of the birthday cut-off. Even though they are smaller and younger, they feel they are in the right grade. Come 8th grade, they were so done with MS and ready to move on.

Come HS they are in several more advanced classes, some with seniors. So, holding them back and them missing out on other opportunities that go by grade, not age, would have been a huge disservice to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone who is answering this before their kids are HS age is giving premature feedback. Middle school / HS is when the reasons for potential regrets (if present) will become show up

My son is 15. No regrets about redshirting him. If anything, events in middle school solidified our decision to hold him back. That being said, I don’t think my choice is necessarily the choice OP needs to make. If she thinks her kid is ready, then go for it. Trust your judgment and especially that of your teachers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone who is answering this before their kids are HS age is giving premature feedback. Middle school / HS is when the reasons for potential regrets (if present) will become show up

I have a high school-age child and the age issue has come up a few times. We looked at privates in ES and they recommended holding back based on age. My child was so confused as to why they'd recommend it without knowing them, looking at their grades or test scores, and said no.

I've talked about it over the years with my child as they were confused about why friends the same age/birthday are a year younger. Some were held back by parents, others were not able to go because of the birthday cut-off. Even though they are smaller and younger, they feel they are in the right grade. Come 8th grade, they were so done with MS and ready to move on.

Come HS they are in several more advanced classes, some with seniors. So, holding them back and them missing out on other opportunities that go by grade, not age, would have been a huge disservice to them.

You didn’t feel like you needed to redshirt and neither did your child’s teachers. That’s very different from a parent taking the advice of preK teachers or having concerns about your child’s readiness and choosing to hold your child back. I think that’s why you are getting different responses about satisfaction from redshirting on this thread. Note: OP’s child doesn’t seem to have any delays and the teachers haven’t suggested holding him back.

Also, my non redshirted May birthday junior has been in advanced classes with upperclassmen for three years now and that’s simply not an issue. In smaller privates, that is standard.

[Anonymous]

My son has a March birthday and while we did not redshirt, we had several people telling us it would only benefit him. We are in private school though and most summer birthdays are redshirted and therefore my March birthday son is usually one of the youngest in the class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone who is answering this before their kids are HS age is giving premature feedback. Middle school / HS is when the reasons for potential regrets (if present) will become show up

I have a high school-age child and the age issue has come up a few times. We looked at privates in ES and they recommended holding back based on age. My child was so confused as to why they'd recommend it without knowing them, looking at their grades or test scores, and said no.

I've talked about it over the years with my child as they were confused about why friends the same age/birthday are a year younger. Some were held back by parents, others were not able to go because of the birthday cut-off. Even though they are smaller and younger, they feel they are in the right grade. Come 8th grade, they were so done with MS and ready to move on.

Come HS they are in several more advanced classes, some with seniors. So, holding them back and them missing out on other opportunities that go by grade, not age, would have been a huge disservice to them.

You didn’t feel like you needed to redshirt and neither did your child’s teachers. That’s very different from a parent taking the advice of preK teachers or having concerns about your child’s readiness and choosing to hold your child back. I think that’s why you are getting different responses about satisfaction from redshirting on this thread. Note: OP’s child doesn’t seem to have any delays and the teachers haven’t suggested holding him back.

Also, my non redshirted May birthday junior has been in advanced classes with upperclassmen for three years now and that’s simply not an issue. In smaller privates, that is standard.

What are you talking about? You are making lots of assumptions. Yes, there were concerns and delays. The difference is we dealt with them. We held the child back and it was a huge mistake. Child skipped a year to fix it.

[Anonymous]

I suggest placing him where you think he would fit best socially and emotionally long term (middle school is rough).

Academics can always be supplemented at home to provide more challenging material. With to be honest, is needed anyway no matter the grade. School is so watered down now. If your child is academically ahead, by the time middle school comes, hopefully you are in a location with a great AAP program to use and the high school has a wide variety of advanced classes.

As parents, you can bridge the academic gap, if you red shirt and notice your child isn’t challenged enough. But you cannot bridge the social/emotional gap that has the potential to come in middle and high school if your don’t red shirt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Above poster adding that I like the idea that he could take a gap year after high school if he wants and still enter college at 19.

In the younger grades, you do have to make sure your age appropriate son is not being compared developmentally and emotionally to the kids that are over a year older than him.

What good is a gap year if they were not as ready or mature in high school as they should have done and the grades reflect that? The damage is done.

Why hold a perfectly ready child back at kindergarten? If you see the child struggling at 8th, then reassess. You don’t have that option if you hold your kid back at K unless you want to have them be 2 years older than the other kids in their graduating class. My July 8th grader is doing well and I’m glad we started him on time. I don’t think any future struggles in high school would be different if he was a year older.

We didn’t consider gap year timing when he started K as we didn’t consider holding him back. But when posts like this, it crosses my mind.

Because kindergarten is just one year? We thought ahead thru senior year not just whether a 4 yr old could keep pace. It's a journey, not a race. My July 7th grader is also doing well and as it turned out he's a very late bloomer. It would have been a disaster to be the smallest and youngest 8th grader. No regrets.

Does your school year start in July? If not, your child would have been 5, not 4 when he could have started kindergarten. We also thought it through and felt like our child was ready to start his journey on time with his peers and didn’t need the extra year and be older than most. We’re certainly not trying to win a race (if we were trying to “win” we would have held him back to get that advantage). Glad it’s working out for both of us.

Someone has to be the smallest in any group. I looked at the middle school boys (grades 6-8) at my son’s school and realized we would have needed to keep him back two years in order for him be in the taller half and he still wouldn’t be the tallest in the grade.

Oh well. Better your kid is the smallest and youngest than mine. And school starts early August where i live.
Still no regrets.

So your son started kindergarten at 6 and you were exaggerating about a “4 year old keeping pace.” Sounds like you’re not concerned about the “journey, but are trying to win “the race” by having your child compete against kids a year younger. Glad you have no regrets, but your kid is not more mature, he’s older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone who is answering this before their kids are HS age is giving premature feedback. Middle school / HS is when the reasons for potential regrets (if present) will become show up

I have a high school-age child and the age issue has come up a few times. We looked at privates in ES and they recommended holding back based on age. My child was so confused as to why they'd recommend it without knowing them, looking at their grades or test scores, and said no.

I've talked about it over the years with my child as they were confused about why friends the same age/birthday are a year younger. Some were held back by parents, others were not able to go because of the birthday cut-off. Even though they are smaller and younger, they feel they are in the right grade. Come 8th grade, they were so done with MS and ready to move on.

Come HS they are in several more advanced classes, some with seniors. So, holding them back and them missing out on other opportunities that go by grade, not age, would have been a huge disservice to them.

You didn’t feel like you needed to redshirt and neither did your child’s teachers. That’s very different from a parent taking the advice of preK teachers or having concerns about your child’s readiness and choosing to hold your child back. I think that’s why you are getting different responses about satisfaction from redshirting on this thread. Note: OP’s child doesn’t seem to have any delays and the teachers haven’t suggested holding him back.

Also, my non redshirted May birthday junior has been in advanced classes with upperclassmen for three years now and that’s simply not an issue. In smaller privates, that is standard.

What are you talking about? You are making lots of assumptions. Yes, there were concerns and delays. The difference is we dealt with them. We held the child back and it was a huge mistake. Child skipped a year to fix it.

Here’s what you wrote: “We looked at privates in ES and they recommended holding back based on age.” That is very different from saying “we had concerns and delays and dealt with them.” I can only respond to what you write.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son has a March birthday and while we did not redshirt, we had several people telling us it would only benefit him. We are in private school though and most summer birthdays are redshirted and therefore my March birthday son is usually one of the youngest in the class.

I’ve known of many privates that require redshirting to attend for certain birthdays.

[Anonymous]

Really depends on both the kid and the school. If redshirting is common in your area, I would do it. If it isn’t, I wouldn’t.

My late summer birthday kid is at a private school that is known to have intense academics. The school suggested redshirting, and we accepted without reservation. He’s in upper school now and I’m really grateful that he has the maturity to handle the crazy workload. We definitely made the right choice.

Socially, if redshirting is common, it will be a complete non-issue. But if it’s rare, it might be. It’s very dependent on your particular environment.

[Anonymous]

We did not redshirt our late July girl. She's 8 now and in the 3rd grade and so far no regrets. Does well in school, mature, she's social, she's also very tall FWIW. She also had been in daycare since 12 weeks and a solid preschool starting at 2.5, which I think helped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really depends on both the kid and the school. If redshirting is common in your area, I would do it. If it isn’t, I wouldn’t.

My late summer birthday kid is at a private school that is known to have intense academics. The school suggested redshirting, and we accepted without reservation. He’s in upper school now and I’m really grateful that he has the maturity to handle the crazy workload. We definitely made the right choice.

Socially, if redshirting is common, it will be a complete non-issue. But if it’s rare, it might be. It’s very dependent on your particular environment.

Very much this. Trying to convince a cutoff-strict public school to give you a redshirting exception will make your kid an outlier in a bad way. It's better in that case to enroll in a private school where redshirting is pushed or even mandatory.