Feeling stuck in starter home TH

[Anonymous]

Chiming in as someone who bit the bullet and sold a condo with a low mortgage rate to buy a SFH with a higher rate last year. In our case, the value of both homes was the same, and the factors tipping the balance were access to better public schools for our kids, who are young, which we felt would lead to savings in the long term, and the need to prepare for the possibility of older relatives moving in with us, which wouldn’t have been possible in our condo. We’ve decided to compensate for the cost increase by not going crazy with decorating our new place in the first year or two and limiting travel in favor of more visits to local museums, family game nights, etc. We’re anticipating a significant increase in income in the next few years but I can’t pretend it wouldn’t be nice for rates to drop. That said we knew what we were getting into and it was the right decision for our family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Chiming in as someone who bit the bullet and sold a condo with a low mortgage rate to buy a SFH with a higher rate last year. In our case, the value of both homes was the same, and the factors tipping the balance were access to better public schools for our kids, who are young, which we felt would lead to savings in the long term, and the need to prepare for the possibility of older relatives moving in with us, which wouldn’t have been possible in our condo. We’ve decided to compensate for the cost increase by not going crazy with decorating our new place in the first year or two and limiting travel in favor of more visits to local museums, family game nights, etc. We’re anticipating a significant increase in income in the next few years but I can’t pretend it wouldn’t be nice for rates to drop. That said we knew what we were getting into and it was the right decision for our family.

+1 We didn't let a low mortgage rate keep us where we were either. We wanted to move to a different area, so we did and sold our home. We also have a second home with a low mortgage rate. We're planning to list it very soon because it's too far from where we live now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has stayed in her starter home for 17 years: It now feels like the smart thing to do. If there’s no super urgent reason to move, don’t move. The security is priceless.

+1. We can’t justify tripling our mortgage payments so we are staying in a house this is just fine, even though on paper we could afford a house that we would adore.

It’s making me a bit more willing to invest in upgrades, nicer furniture or decor that makes me happy, to make the best of a house that wasn’t meant to be forever.

Grass is always greener. We bought a SFH when rates were low. I love my home, but I do miss the TH we had before. No maintenance, like another poster said our backdoor opened to a small patio then shared green space. It was better in a lot of ways. Kids were going from TH to TH, constant play dates, etc. We were renting so didn’t have the option to buy and nothing came up in our area during the 18 months we were putting in bids for homes. Now we have a large yard (for the area) and have to mow, deal with tree maintenance, etc. That is time and money we could be doing other things in that time.

You aren’t stuck because you can afford it. Be grateful because so many people would love to be in your position.

Life is way too short. So many people in my life have died way too young so I view life differently because of that. If you are miserable then buy a new house, or invest that $ and wait and buy a new house or second home in a few years. Or use it to travel or save so you can retire earlier. Make peace with whatever decision you make.

I have a TH and still have a decent amount of maintenance, my HOA is in the 200’s to pay for trash/landscaping/leaf/snow and other amenities. I’m responsible for the roof, siding, windows, etc. I have a 2 story wooden deck that has to be repaired which is very expensive. Still got all the appliances that can break and HVAC, water heater, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has stayed in her starter home for 17 years: It now feels like the smart thing to do. If there’s no super urgent reason to move, don’t move. The security is priceless.

+1. We can’t justify tripling our mortgage payments so we are staying in a house this is just fine, even though on paper we could afford a house that we would adore.

It’s making me a bit more willing to invest in upgrades, nicer furniture or decor that makes me happy, to make the best of a house that wasn’t meant to be forever.

Grass is always greener. We bought a SFH when rates were low. I love my home, but I do miss the TH we had before. No maintenance, like another poster said our backdoor opened to a small patio then shared green space. It was better in a lot of ways. Kids were going from TH to TH, constant play dates, etc. We were renting so didn’t have the option to buy and nothing came up in our area during the 18 months we were putting in bids for homes. Now we have a large yard (for the area) and have to mow, deal with tree maintenance, etc. That is time and money we could be doing other things in that time.

You aren’t stuck because you can afford it. Be grateful because so many people would love to be in your position.

Life is way too short. So many people in my life have died way too young so I view life differently because of that. If you are miserable then buy a new house, or invest that $ and wait and buy a new house or second home in a few years. Or use it to travel or save so you can retire earlier. Make peace with whatever decision you make.

I have a TH and still have a decent amount of maintenance, my HOA is in the 200’s to pay for trash/landscaping/leaf/snow and other amenities. I’m responsible for the roof, siding, windows, etc. I have a 2 story wooden deck that has to be repaired which is very expensive. Still got all the appliances that can break and HVAC, water heater, etc.

Yep, I am also perplexed by the no maintenance comments. We own a row house and there is plenty of maintenance to deal with constantly. We have a patio with a few plants and even that requires work to look semi-decent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you understand the word “stuck.”

I don't think you understand the word "feeling".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has stayed in her starter home for 17 years: It now feels like the smart thing to do. If there’s no super urgent reason to move, don’t move. The security is priceless.

I agree with this, except my starter home is my forever home. We are in a SFH, though, and had some room to expand. But honestly, with 3 kids, there were only a few years - like, 3 - when I felt crowded in my house. Now that we're down to 3 FT residents, it's perfect, and will seem too big once they all launch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are in a similar situation. We can afford another house but can’t justify tripling our mortgage, with majority of it going toward interest. As PP suggested above, we decided to do some updates and decorate to help us like our current house more. I am trying to see the positives. Can’t beat the location and we really do not need that much more space.

Interest is deductible

It isn’t for us.

Incorrect, get a larger mortgage, it basically gives you 1/2 back so it's not really 5k more a month more like 3350 more a month when considering the tax deduction

You think you know everyone's situation? Our mortgage is 1 mil and we cannot deduct anything, because of the nature of our employment and visa situation.

Yeah ridiculous how people assume they know better than the actual poster who knows their situation.

Ah another IMF/WB/IDB employee. Yeah that is certainly a downside, certainly can't deduct anything when the actual income tax owed is 0. That's the big downside of working there, sure we don't pay taxes but a) salaries given age of employees are super low imo even when taking into account it's net and b) because no tax, can't deduct all the beautiful things you can deduct for.

Boo hoo you don't pay taxes

Yeah if I made like 250k I would be happy with it, but frankly given the area (hcol), slow career progression and etc, my measly 140k for my age (early 30) just does not cut it (especially since it will grow slowly too). Add to that the lack of ability to move to a different firm (visa related) and the whole not paying taxes is not that great when your net is meh

Measly 140k? Not paying taxes? You’re rich.

Not the poster you are replying to, but if I understand correctly they make 140k net. That is, by no means, rich in this area. That is UMC for this area (assuming that the spouse works too, if souse doesn't work then that is def not even UMC income), especially given current prices on stuff and mortgage rates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The advice is to accumulate things until you are age 50 and then you should start shedding things from 50 onward, including downsizing your home. You are in the right size home now. Make do.

How old is this advice? My youngest child will be 9 when I'm 50. Do I really start downsizing when I've still got a kid in elementary school? I think it should be more like 60 for those of us who had children into our 40s (mine was not planned).

I live in a rowhouse but plan to upsize when I get older and the kids are in college. That way we can have space to host big family get togethers, etc.

+1. We raised two kids in 1500 sq ft, and I always thought it was fine. Cozy and pleasant. I liked having my kids underfoot. But now that they are young adults, it feels too small. They come home with friends, girlfriends, we end up with 6-8 adults hanging around and we don't have any space for everyone to sit and watch a game, and our dining room is very tight for 8. I want to have a place with plenty of room for them and their partners and eventually kids (if they have them), so I'm not thinking about downsizing, I want to upsize.

Wouldn't your money be better spent renting a vacation home the few times a year everyone comes home? I just can't imagine getting a bigger house for young adult couples to hang around in *sometimes*. Especially since we all know having expectations that your entire family and grandkids will come to you all the time can lead to some issues with your in-laws down the line. I vote for staying flexible!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has stayed in her starter home for 17 years: It now feels like the smart thing to do. If there’s no super urgent reason to move, don’t move. The security is priceless.

+1. We can’t justify tripling our mortgage payments so we are staying in a house this is just fine, even though on paper we could afford a house that we would adore.

It’s making me a bit more willing to invest in upgrades, nicer furniture or decor that makes me happy, to make the best of a house that wasn’t meant to be forever.

Grass is always greener. We bought a SFH when rates were low. I love my home, but I do miss the TH we had before. No maintenance, like another poster said our backdoor opened to a small patio then shared green space. It was better in a lot of ways. Kids were going from TH to TH, constant play dates, etc. We were renting so didn’t have the option to buy and nothing came up in our area during the 18 months we were putting in bids for homes. Now we have a large yard (for the area) and have to mow, deal with tree maintenance, etc. That is time and money we could be doing other things in that time.

You aren’t stuck because you can afford it. Be grateful because so many people would love to be in your position.

Life is way too short. So many people in my life have died way too young so I view life differently because of that. If you are miserable then buy a new house, or invest that $ and wait and buy a new house or second home in a few years. Or use it to travel or save so you can retire earlier. Make peace with whatever decision you make.

I have a TH and still have a decent amount of maintenance, my HOA is in the 200’s to pay for trash/landscaping/leaf/snow and other amenities. I’m responsible for the roof, siding, windows, etc. I have a 2 story wooden deck that has to be repaired which is very expensive. Still got all the appliances that can break and HVAC, water heater, etc.

Yep, I am also perplexed by the no maintenance comments. We own a row house and there is plenty of maintenance to deal with constantly. We have a patio with a few plants and even that requires work to look semi-decent.

A few plants is NOTHING compared to a yard. Does that not make sense? I live in TH and I have no yard to look after and I love it. I have a small garden on one side, and we have to remove some leaves from our patio each fall. Yes we had to replace our roof, which is 1/2 the size of many SFH roofs, I only have one HVAC unit to monitor. Which means=less maintenance cost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Chiming in as someone who bit the bullet and sold a condo with a low mortgage rate to buy a SFH with a higher rate last year. In our case, the value of both homes was the same, and the factors tipping the balance were access to better public schools for our kids, who are young, which we felt would lead to savings in the long term, and the need to prepare for the possibility of older relatives moving in with us, which wouldn’t have been possible in our condo. We’ve decided to compensate for the cost increase by not going crazy with decorating our new place in the first year or two and limiting travel in favor of more visits to local museums, family game nights, etc. We’re anticipating a significant increase in income in the next few years but I can’t pretend it wouldn’t be nice for rates to drop. That said we knew what we were getting into and it was the right decision for our family.

This is incredibly rare. Unless you move outside the Beltway. Which is a non-starter for me. My TH is way nicer than a lot of the SFHs around me, which are expensive tears down on small lots. Sure, if they get torn down and rebuilt they will be more valuable than my TH. But my property taxes aren't going to force me out of the neighborhood when I'm old either....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has stayed in her starter home for 17 years: It now feels like the smart thing to do. If there’s no super urgent reason to move, don’t move. The security is priceless.

+1. We can’t justify tripling our mortgage payments so we are staying in a house this is just fine, even though on paper we could afford a house that we would adore.

It’s making me a bit more willing to invest in upgrades, nicer furniture or decor that makes me happy, to make the best of a house that wasn’t meant to be forever.

Grass is always greener. We bought a SFH when rates were low. I love my home, but I do miss the TH we had before. No maintenance, like another poster said our backdoor opened to a small patio then shared green space. It was better in a lot of ways. Kids were going from TH to TH, constant play dates, etc. We were renting so didn’t have the option to buy and nothing came up in our area during the 18 months we were putting in bids for homes. Now we have a large yard (for the area) and have to mow, deal with tree maintenance, etc. That is time and money we could be doing other things in that time.

You aren’t stuck because you can afford it. Be grateful because so many people would love to be in your position.

Life is way too short. So many people in my life have died way too young so I view life differently because of that. If you are miserable then buy a new house, or invest that $ and wait and buy a new house or second home in a few years. Or use it to travel or save so you can retire earlier. Make peace with whatever decision you make.

I have a TH and still have a decent amount of maintenance, my HOA is in the 200’s to pay for trash/landscaping/leaf/snow and other amenities. I’m responsible for the roof, siding, windows, etc. I have a 2 story wooden deck that has to be repaired which is very expensive. Still got all the appliances that can break and HVAC, water heater, etc.

Yep, I am also perplexed by the no maintenance comments. We own a row house and there is plenty of maintenance to deal with constantly. We have a patio with a few plants and even that requires work to look semi-decent.

A few plants is NOTHING compared to a yard. Does that not make sense? I live in TH and I have no yard to look after and I love it. I have a small garden on one side, and we have to remove some leaves from our patio each fall. Yes we had to replace our roof, which is 1/2 the size of many SFH roofs, I only have one HVAC unit to monitor. Which means=less maintenance cost.

NP. A yard is not that hard to take care of. You hire a service and do some touch up maintenance on weekends when necessary. Do you find most things in life hard?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The advice is to accumulate things until you are age 50 and then you should start shedding things from 50 onward, including downsizing your home. You are in the right size home now. Make do.

How old is this advice? My youngest child will be 9 when I'm 50. Do I really start downsizing when I've still got a kid in elementary school? I think it should be more like 60 for those of us who had children into our 40s (mine was not planned).

I live in a rowhouse but plan to upsize when I get older and the kids are in college. That way we can have space to host big family get togethers, etc.

+1. We raised two kids in 1500 sq ft, and I always thought it was fine. Cozy and pleasant. I liked having my kids underfoot. But now that they are young adults, it feels too small. They come home with friends, girlfriends, we end up with 6-8 adults hanging around and we don't have any space for everyone to sit and watch a game, and our dining room is very tight for 8. I want to have a place with plenty of room for them and their partners and eventually kids (if they have them), so I'm not thinking about downsizing, I want to upsize.

Wouldn't your money be better spent renting a vacation home the few times a year everyone comes home? I just can't imagine getting a bigger house for young adult couples to hang around in *sometimes*. Especially since we all know having expectations that your entire family and grandkids will come to you all the time can lead to some issues with your in-laws down the line. I vote for staying flexible!

+1 it would be cheaper to rent out space in a hotel for the few dinner parties a year. Environmently, it would be a waste to heat and cool and maintain more square footage the whole year through in the off chance that the in-laws aren’t getting the kids this year or the kids desire the grandkids to come to them. No way should we go larger after age 50-60. We want to shed stuff by then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has stayed in her starter home for 17 years: It now feels like the smart thing to do. If there’s no super urgent reason to move, don’t move. The security is priceless.

+1. We can’t justify tripling our mortgage payments so we are staying in a house this is just fine, even though on paper we could afford a house that we would adore.

It’s making me a bit more willing to invest in upgrades, nicer furniture or decor that makes me happy, to make the best of a house that wasn’t meant to be forever.

Grass is always greener. We bought a SFH when rates were low. I love my home, but I do miss the TH we had before. No maintenance, like another poster said our backdoor opened to a small patio then shared green space. It was better in a lot of ways. Kids were going from TH to TH, constant play dates, etc. We were renting so didn’t have the option to buy and nothing came up in our area during the 18 months we were putting in bids for homes. Now we have a large yard (for the area) and have to mow, deal with tree maintenance, etc. That is time and money we could be doing other things in that time.

You aren’t stuck because you can afford it. Be grateful because so many people would love to be in your position.

Life is way too short. So many people in my life have died way too young so I view life differently because of that. If you are miserable then buy a new house, or invest that $ and wait and buy a new house or second home in a few years. Or use it to travel or save so you can retire earlier. Make peace with whatever decision you make.

I have a TH and still have a decent amount of maintenance, my HOA is in the 200’s to pay for trash/landscaping/leaf/snow and other amenities. I’m responsible for the roof, siding, windows, etc. I have a 2 story wooden deck that has to be repaired which is very expensive. Still got all the appliances that can break and HVAC, water heater, etc.

Yep, I am also perplexed by the no maintenance comments. We own a row house and there is plenty of maintenance to deal with constantly. We have a patio with a few plants and even that requires work to look semi-decent.

No one here said “no maintenance”. People are saying a TH is “less maintenance”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has stayed in her starter home for 17 years: It now feels like the smart thing to do. If there’s no super urgent reason to move, don’t move. The security is priceless.

+1. We can’t justify tripling our mortgage payments so we are staying in a house this is just fine, even though on paper we could afford a house that we would adore.

It’s making me a bit more willing to invest in upgrades, nicer furniture or decor that makes me happy, to make the best of a house that wasn’t meant to be forever.

Grass is always greener. We bought a SFH when rates were low. I love my home, but I do miss the TH we had before. No maintenance, like another poster said our backdoor opened to a small patio then shared green space. It was better in a lot of ways. Kids were going from TH to TH, constant play dates, etc. We were renting so didn’t have the option to buy and nothing came up in our area during the 18 months we were putting in bids for homes. Now we have a large yard (for the area) and have to mow, deal with tree maintenance, etc. That is time and money we could be doing other things in that time.

You aren’t stuck because you can afford it. Be grateful because so many people would love to be in your position.

Life is way too short. So many people in my life have died way too young so I view life differently because of that. If you are miserable then buy a new house, or invest that $ and wait and buy a new house or second home in a few years. Or use it to travel or save so you can retire earlier. Make peace with whatever decision you make.

I have a TH and still have a decent amount of maintenance, my HOA is in the 200’s to pay for trash/landscaping/leaf/snow and other amenities. I’m responsible for the roof, siding, windows, etc. I have a 2 story wooden deck that has to be repaired which is very expensive. Still got all the appliances that can break and HVAC, water heater, etc.

Yep, I am also perplexed by the no maintenance comments. We own a row house and there is plenty of maintenance to deal with constantly. We have a patio with a few plants and even that requires work to look semi-decent.

A few plants is NOTHING compared to a yard. Does that not make sense? I live in TH and I have no yard to look after and I love it. I have a small garden on one side, and we have to remove some leaves from our patio each fall. Yes we had to replace our roof, which is 1/2 the size of many SFH roofs, I only have one HVAC unit to monitor. Which means=less maintenance cost.

NP. A yard is not that hard to take care of. You hire a service and do some touch up maintenance on weekends when necessary. Do you find most things in life hard?

You can’t make this ish up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has stayed in her starter home for 17 years: It now feels like the smart thing to do. If there’s no super urgent reason to move, don’t move. The security is priceless.

+1. We can’t justify tripling our mortgage payments so we are staying in a house this is just fine, even though on paper we could afford a house that we would adore.

It’s making me a bit more willing to invest in upgrades, nicer furniture or decor that makes me happy, to make the best of a house that wasn’t meant to be forever.

Grass is always greener. We bought a SFH when rates were low. I love my home, but I do miss the TH we had before. No maintenance, like another poster said our backdoor opened to a small patio then shared green space. It was better in a lot of ways. Kids were going from TH to TH, constant play dates, etc. We were renting so didn’t have the option to buy and nothing came up in our area during the 18 months we were putting in bids for homes. Now we have a large yard (for the area) and have to mow, deal with tree maintenance, etc. That is time and money we could be doing other things in that time.

You aren’t stuck because you can afford it. Be grateful because so many people would love to be in your position.

Life is way too short. So many people in my life have died way too young so I view life differently because of that. If you are miserable then buy a new house, or invest that $ and wait and buy a new house or second home in a few years. Or use it to travel or save so you can retire earlier. Make peace with whatever decision you make.

I have a TH and still have a decent amount of maintenance, my HOA is in the 200’s to pay for trash/landscaping/leaf/snow and other amenities. I’m responsible for the roof, siding, windows, etc. I have a 2 story wooden deck that has to be repaired which is very expensive. Still got all the appliances that can break and HVAC, water heater, etc.

Yep, I am also perplexed by the no maintenance comments. We own a row house and there is plenty of maintenance to deal with constantly. We have a patio with a few plants and even that requires work to look semi-decent.

A few plants is NOTHING compared to a yard. Does that not make sense? I live in TH and I have no yard to look after and I love it. I have a small garden on one side, and we have to remove some leaves from our patio each fall. Yes we had to replace our roof, which is 1/2 the size of many SFH roofs, I only have one HVAC unit to monitor. Which means=less maintenance cost.

NP. A yard is not that hard to take care of. You hire a service and do some touch up maintenance on weekends when necessary. Do you find most things in life hard?

You can’t make this ish up!

The yard in my prior Arlington SFH lot looked great and took no effort. I just had to pay about $12,000 for initial landscaping and then $3000 to $4000 per year to maintain it. 🙄