So, Whose Husband Has Done Absolutely Nothing for Valentine’s Day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend has done nothing and it's really bugging me. If he can't at least go through the motions to try and make some effort, I really don't think I want to be with him anymore. Surely he knows other women are going out and getting flowers delivered. It feels bad to be left out and see other women have boyfriends who make the effort. He's got a few hours and if nothing materializes I'm going to break up with him. By opting out of valentines day he's basically indicating that's what he is risking.

EWWWWWWW. This is so gross. "Gimme gimme" attitude/entitlement, lack of communication, threatening to dump him (but to the forums, not to his face, because if you said this sh*t out loud, you'd realize what a materialistic bag of betch you sound like)...

Valentine's Day isn't mandatory, unless you and your partner had an agreement to make it so. Expecting him to "make the effort" (aka buy your affection) is so gross. Buy your own trashy lingerie, cheap chocolate, booze, or whatever it is you expect but don't care enough about to ask for with your damned chest.

Yuck.

Some--dare I say most--men don't have to be asked to give their girlfriends flowers for valentines day, and that kind of man would be more compatible with PP. Some women don't care and that kind of woman would be more comparable with her BF. There is nothing gross about basic incompatibility issues.

My husband didn't do anything for me for valentines day except wish me happy valentines day, and that is more than enough for me! But we've been married seventeen years. If we were dating??? I'd care. I'd be ticked. Dating is your time to impress someone and if you your SO doesn't do something for valentines day he's setting the bar very, very low.

[Anonymous]

I agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend has done nothing and it's really bugging me. If he can't at least go through the motions to try and make some effort, I really don't think I want to be with him anymore. Surely he knows other women are going out and getting flowers delivered. It feels bad to be left out and see other women have boyfriends who make the effort. He's got a few hours and if nothing materializes I'm going to break up with him. By opting out of valentines day he's basically indicating that's what he is risking.

EWWWWWWW. This is so gross. "Gimme gimme" attitude/entitlement, lack of communication, threatening to dump him (but to the forums, not to his face, because if you said this sh*t out loud, you'd realize what a materialistic bag of betch you sound like)...

Valentine's Day isn't mandatory, unless you and your partner had an agreement to make it so. Expecting him to "make the effort" (aka buy your affection) is so gross. Buy your own trashy lingerie, cheap chocolate, booze, or whatever it is you expect but don't care enough about to ask for with your damned chest.

Yuck.

Some--dare I say most--men don't have to be asked to give their girlfriends flowers for valentines day, and that kind of man would be more compatible with PP. Some women don't care and that kind of woman would be more comparable with her BF. There is nothing gross about basic incompatibility issues.

My husband didn't do anything for me for valentines day except wish me happy valentines day, and that is more than enough for me! But we've been married seventeen years. If we were dating??? I'd care. I'd be ticked. Dating is your time to impress someone and if you your SO doesn't do something for valentines day he's setting the bar very, very low.

I know that's generally true, and it's stupid. Dating is posturing. It's unsustainable, and then you've wasted howevermuch time getting to know someone's mask. I don't want to be 'impressed' unless you're truly an impressive person, and nothing you buy me is going to communicate that. If you tip well, that'll impress me enough. If you remember what we talk about and take an interest in what's important to me, that's impressive because so many people don't. If you buy me fancy things on Valentine's day, and then act a jerk the rest of the week, well, I'm unimpressed.

The only "something" I want someone to do for me for a holiday is ask me what I might like and then move accordingly. Consideration is impressive.

[Anonymous]

Our kids got some cute cards, we read those. We've never done anything on day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend has done nothing and it's really bugging me. If he can't at least go through the motions to try and make some effort, I really don't think I want to be with him anymore. Surely he knows other women are going out and getting flowers delivered. It feels bad to be left out and see other women have boyfriends who make the effort. He's got a few hours and if nothing materializes I'm going to break up with him. By opting out of valentines day he's basically indicating that's what he is risking.

EWWWWWWW. This is so gross. "Gimme gimme" attitude/entitlement, lack of communication, threatening to dump him (but to the forums, not to his face, because if you said this sh*t out loud, you'd realize what a materialistic bag of betch you sound like)...

Valentine's Day isn't mandatory, unless you and your partner had an agreement to make it so. Expecting him to "make the effort" (aka buy your affection) is so gross. Buy your own trashy lingerie, cheap chocolate, booze, or whatever it is you expect but don't care enough about to ask for with your damned chest.

Yuck.

Some--dare I say most--men don't have to be asked to give their girlfriends flowers for valentines day, and that kind of man would be more compatible with PP. Some women don't care and that kind of woman would be more comparable with her BF. There is nothing gross about basic incompatibility issues.

My husband didn't do anything for me for valentines day except wish me happy valentines day, and that is more than enough for me! But we've been married seventeen years. If we were dating??? I'd care. I'd be ticked. Dating is your time to impress someone and if you your SO doesn't do something for valentines day he's setting the bar very, very low.

Flowers because it's a hallmark holiday is trite af. Flowers on a random tuesday just because is considerate, which is attractive. Flowers because you screwed up/screwed around is lazy as hell, and best avoided.

I'd make exceptions for someone who goes all-the-way old school and researches flower code and gives a meaningful bouquet. Points for effort because effort shows care. Buying a thing takes very little actual effort.

[Anonymous]

Married 25 years. Exchanged cards. He gave me my favorite wine, some cheeses and chocolates from specialty shop. Teen boys gave me handwritten notes. We gave kids and the dog gift bags with favorite treats, dog a stuffie before they left for school. I made a steak dinner for everyone before kids had to leave for practice.

[Anonymous]

Mine picked a fight with my while I was making a filet mignon dinner, does that count?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend has done nothing and it's really bugging me. If he can't at least go through the motions to try and make some effort, I really don't think I want to be with him anymore. Surely he knows other women are going out and getting flowers delivered. It feels bad to be left out and see other women have boyfriends who make the effort. He's got a few hours and if nothing materializes I'm going to break up with him. By opting out of valentines day he's basically indicating that's what he is risking.

EWWWWWWW. This is so gross. "Gimme gimme" attitude/entitlement, lack of communication, threatening to dump him (but to the forums, not to his face, because if you said this sh*t out loud, you'd realize what a materialistic bag of betch you sound like)...

Valentine's Day isn't mandatory, unless you and your partner had an agreement to make it so. Expecting him to "make the effort" (aka buy your affection) is so gross. Buy your own trashy lingerie, cheap chocolate, booze, or whatever it is you expect but don't care enough about to ask for with your damned chest.

Yuck.

Some--dare I say most--men don't have to be asked to give their girlfriends flowers for valentines day, and that kind of man would be more compatible with PP. Some women don't care and that kind of woman would be more comparable with her BF. There is nothing gross about basic incompatibility issues.

My husband didn't do anything for me for valentines day except wish me happy valentines day, and that is more than enough for me! But we've been married seventeen years. If we were dating??? I'd care. I'd be ticked. Dating is your time to impress someone and if you your SO doesn't do something for valentines day he's setting the bar very, very low.

I know that's generally true, and it's stupid. Dating is posturing. It's unsustainable, and then you've wasted howevermuch time getting to know someone's mask. I don't want to be 'impressed' unless you're truly an impressive person, and nothing you buy me is going to communicate that. If you tip well, that'll impress me enough. If you remember what we talk about and take an interest in what's important to me, that's impressive because so many people don't. If you buy me fancy things on Valentine's day, and then act a jerk the rest of the week, well, I'm unimpressed.

The only "something" I want someone to do for me for a holiday is ask me what I might like and then move accordingly. Consideration is impressive.

That's very good you know yourself so well. Most women want some little gesture on valentines day AND kindness all the time, and I think most women get that. It's fine if you don't feel the same.

I don't think dating is posturing, I think it's when you naturally put your best foot forward because you really like someone. But regardless of what you all it, we know that it's safest to assume that the dating years are as good as it gets when it comes to romantic gestures. If this is what PP gets when her boyfriend is posturing, she now has a good idea of what she can expect years down the road. I know I said I'd be upset if I were PP, but actually I wouldn't. I'd just move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend has done nothing and it's really bugging me. If he can't at least go through the motions to try and make some effort, I really don't think I want to be with him anymore. Surely he knows other women are going out and getting flowers delivered. It feels bad to be left out and see other women have boyfriends who make the effort. He's got a few hours and if nothing materializes I'm going to break up with him. By opting out of valentines day he's basically indicating that's what he is risking.

EWWWWWWW. This is so gross. "Gimme gimme" attitude/entitlement, lack of communication, threatening to dump him (but to the forums, not to his face, because if you said this sh*t out loud, you'd realize what a materialistic bag of betch you sound like)...

Valentine's Day isn't mandatory, unless you and your partner had an agreement to make it so. Expecting him to "make the effort" (aka buy your affection) is so gross. Buy your own trashy lingerie, cheap chocolate, booze, or whatever it is you expect but don't care enough about to ask for with your damned chest.

Yuck.

Some--dare I say most--men don't have to be asked to give their girlfriends flowers for valentines day, and that kind of man would be more compatible with PP. Some women don't care and that kind of woman would be more comparable with her BF. There is nothing gross about basic incompatibility issues.

My husband didn't do anything for me for valentines day except wish me happy valentines day, and that is more than enough for me! But we've been married seventeen years. If we were dating??? I'd care. I'd be ticked. Dating is your time to impress someone and if you your SO doesn't do something for valentines day he's setting the bar very, very low.

Flowers because it's a hallmark holiday is trite af. Flowers on a random tuesday just because is considerate, which is attractive. Flowers because you screwed up/screwed around is lazy as hell, and best avoided.

I'd make exceptions for someone who goes all-the-way old school and researches flower code and gives a meaningful bouquet. Points for effort because effort shows care. Buying a thing takes very little actual effort.

Ah but see I'm okay with low effort. We all have our standards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless there is some surprise coming later, which I strongly doubt, I am raising my hand.

Sorry the other girls in your grade are carrying around a teddy bear and balloon today. It sucks to feel left out of high school traditions.

[Anonymous]

We planned to do nothing so neither of us has done anything.

[Anonymous]

I told mine I didn't want anything. He brought me some chocolate when he went out to buy stuff for the kids.

[Anonymous]

Wives can be real d*cks. Damned if you do damned if you don't. Nothing ever seems enough even when they say they don't want anything.

[Anonymous]

Why do people hate the idea of gifts so much? I love giving and getting gifts as a way to show my love and attention.

[Anonymous]

We've never done it. Very happily married.