My daughter is 29 and dating a guy who is 7 years younger

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She says she wants to get married eventually. I don't know if to this guy or not. Isn't it kind of weird? He hasn't even started a career yet and actually doesn't have a degree, he works retail. She's college educated, works a low paying office job. I'm like why can't you look for a guy with a professional degree when you're a thin, conventionally attractive, college educated 20 something woman? She will never be able to afford a house or family with this guy. We don't have money to give her.

I find it odd that you add " thin" to your list. Would you say the same to your son dating someone seven years younger? Leave her be. It's her life, not yours

[Anonymous]

29/2 = 14.5
14.5 +7 = 21.5

22 is fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She says she wants to get married eventually. I don't know if to this guy or not. Isn't it kind of weird? He hasn't even started a career yet and actually doesn't have a degree, he works retail. She's college educated, works a low paying office job. I'm like why can't you look for a guy with a professional degree when you're a thin, conventionally attractive, college educated 20 something woman? She will never be able to afford a house or family with this guy. We don't have money to give her.

Yes, it’s very weird. She’s about 30% older than he is.

That's just a phase they will outgrow.

29/2+7 = 21.5 < 22 all clear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She says she wants to get married eventually. I don't know if to this guy or not. Isn't it kind of weird? He hasn't even started a career yet and actually doesn't have a degree, he works retail. She's college educated, works a low paying office job. I'm like why can't you look for a guy with a professional degree when you're a thin, conventionally attractive, college educated 20 something woman? She will never be able to afford a house or family with this guy. We don't have money to give her.

Your bigger problem is that she is in an underpaid office job at 29. She is college educated she should be near the six figure mark by now. Does she have low self esteem? That might explain why she isn’t dating someone her age.

This. Sounds like she is avoiding life in more ways than one.

[Anonymous]

While easier said than done - I would let her enjoy the relationship & let her figure out things on her own.

As a parent also (!) of a grown child > I know fully well how tough it can be as a parent to see your adult child make certain decisions in life that may seemingly negatively affect the trajectory of their future.

But keep in mind that in life, learning from one’s mistakes can be the only way most people evolve over time.

[Anonymous]

Ask her if she really wants to be 35 and single, because that's where she is rapidly heading. Dating in one's 30s is the pits. Men quietly wonder why you're not married. There must be something wrong with you.

[Anonymous]

Is he a decent guy? Does he have goals? I think the more important issue is to encourage your dd to look for another job and maybe help her. Is she happy with her life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask her if she really wants to be 35 and single, because that's where she is rapidly heading. Dating in one's 30s is the pits. Men quietly wonder why you're not married. There must be something wrong with you.

This is the real problem. She is at the end of her prime dating period. 30 is around the corner and a lot of the good ones will already be taken already.

I met my Dh when I was 24. I was married at 29 and had my first kid at 30.

It is like a game of musical chairs. While your daughter is dating this young guy who she likely won’t marry, she is not meeting other guys.

I have a friend who dated this not good for her guy all throughout her twenties. She was just so hung up over him that she didn’t want to date others and passed on a lot of really decent men. Eventually the guy got married but she was already in her thirties. She ended up marrying a guy who worked at a restaurant with her. They got divorced. She is now 45 and still single.

[Anonymous]

I married a man 7 years younger and we’ve been happy with kids for almost 20 years!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She says she wants to get married eventually. I don't know if to this guy or not. Isn't it kind of weird? He hasn't even started a career yet and actually doesn't have a degree, he works retail. She's college educated, works a low paying office job. I'm like why can't you look for a guy with a professional degree when you're a thin, conventionally attractive, college educated 20 something woman? She will never be able to afford a house or family with this guy. We don't have money to give her.

I find it odd that you add " thin" to your list. Would you say the same to your son dating someone seven years younger? Leave her be. It's her life, not yours

It’s not odd to mention at all. It’s practically a superpower when dating in your 30s in the U.S. in 2024.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She says she wants to get married eventually. I don't know if to this guy or not. Isn't it kind of weird? He hasn't even started a career yet and actually doesn't have a degree, he works retail. She's college educated, works a low paying office job. I'm like why can't you look for a guy with a professional degree when you're a thin, conventionally attractive, college educated 20 something woman? She will never be able to afford a house or family with this guy. We don't have money to give her.

I find it odd that you add " thin" to your list. Would you say the same to your son dating someone seven years younger? Leave her be. It's her life, not yours

You must be fat. If the genders were reversed a mom would mention that her son is tall, and you know damn well that makes a difference when dating. Being thin for a woman does as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She says she wants to get married eventually. I don't know if to this guy or not. Isn't it kind of weird? He hasn't even started a career yet and actually doesn't have a degree, he works retail. She's college educated, works a low paying office job. I'm like why can't you look for a guy with a professional degree when you're a thin, conventionally attractive, college educated 20 something woman? She will never be able to afford a house or family with this guy. We don't have money to give her.

It's not at all unusual for someone who is 22 to not have a degree yet. Assuming someone takes 4 years to graduate college, if their birthday is before May, they will be 22 when they graduate.
Current college seniors (4th year) and many 22 year olds (depending on their birth month) graduated high school during the Covid shutdown. Many chose to take a gap year between high school and college because most classes were online. Of those that did start in fall 2020, many struggled because of the isolation and stress and will need extra time to finish.
It's really disgusting of you to look down on this young man, OP.

[Anonymous]

I dated a guy who was younger and still in college. He was sweet and fun. He was serious about me but I wasn’t about him. He eventually went to Harvard Business School and is very successful.

I don’t think the age matters so much. Your daughter is an adult.

I have a 6 year old daughter and my husband would hate it if she was in a dead end job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask her if she really wants to be 35 and single, because that's where she is rapidly heading. Dating in one's 30s is the pits. Men quietly wonder why you're not married. There must be something wrong with you.

You are very old fashioned. There is nothing wrong with someone who is unmarried at 35

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She says she wants to get married eventually. I don't know if to this guy or not. Isn't it kind of weird? He hasn't even started a career yet and actually doesn't have a degree, he works retail. She's college educated, works a low paying office job. I'm like why can't you look for a guy with a professional degree when you're a thin, conventionally attractive, college educated 20 something woman? She will never be able to afford a house or family with this guy. We don't have money to give her.

I find it odd that you add " thin" to your list. Would you say the same to your son dating someone seven years younger? Leave her be. It's her life, not yours

It’s not odd to mention at all. It’s practically a superpower when dating in your 30s in the U.S. in 2024.

How sad that you think it is a superpower.