My daughter is 29 and dating a guy who is 7 years younger

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, that’s definitely strange. How’s her self confidence?

This would be my question as well. The only woman I know who had a similar situation eventually married this guy and is basically now a sugar mama... and of course now that he's 30 he's ready(ish) for kids but they're having problems likely due to her age. Not ideal.

[Anonymous]

Stay out of it. I don’t see this as a concern unless is is dying to have a kid asap. The old model does not work. The #1 think you should be worried about is her career.

-age 46 and divorced and thankfully, I never relied on a man

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Predator Alert!!! A 22 year old man, especially of the present generation, has the mental and social maturity of an adolescent boy.

A 22 year old is predatory towards a 29 year old? Do you get out much?

Reading is fundamental please! A 29 year old woman is predating on a 22 year old with no education and no job. Although you could argue it’s the other way around, he’s punching way above his weight here.

Does this guy have his own place yet, OP? He might be a hobosexual.

The word you're looking for is "preying"

Predating is something else entirely.

predate
2 of 2
verb (2)
pre·​date pri-ˈdāt
predated; predating; predates
transitive + intransitive
: to prey on (something or someone)
Animals predate other animals in nature, but that is hardly commensurate with a massive worldwide farming industry that breeds species purely for our purpose.

NP. This is never used in spoken English. Awesome for you if you have this vocabulary and maybe English is your second or third language but almost nobody would understand what you are saying if you use this word in that context. Just a friendly FYI.

The written word is not spoken English. Reading is fundamental, please!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She says she wants to get married eventually. I don't know if to this guy or not. Isn't it kind of weird? He hasn't even started a career yet and actually doesn't have a degree, he works retail. She's college educated, works a low paying office job. I'm like why can't you look for a guy with a professional degree when you're a thin, conventionally attractive, college educated 20 something woman? She will never be able to afford a house or family with this guy. We don't have money to give her.

Yes, it’s very weird. She’s about 30% older than he is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Predator Alert!!! A 22 year old man, especially of the present generation, has the mental and social maturity of an adolescent boy.

A 22 year old is predatory towards a 29 year old? Do you get out much?

Reading is fundamental please! A 29 year old woman is predating on a 22 year old with no education and no job. Although you could argue it’s the other way around, he’s punching way above his weight here.

Does this guy have his own place yet, OP? He might be a hobosexual.

The word you're looking for is "preying"

Predating is something else entirely.

Too late for predating.
They're already dating. OP is asking how to get them to postdating

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She says she wants to get married eventually. I don't know if to this guy or not. Isn't it kind of weird? He hasn't even started a career yet and actually doesn't have a degree, he works retail. She's college educated, works a low paying office job. I'm like why can't you look for a guy with a professional degree when you're a thin, conventionally attractive, college educated 20 something woman? She will never be able to afford a house or family with this guy. We don't have money to give her.

Your bigger problem is that she is in an underpaid office job at 29. She is college educated she should be near the six figure mark by now. Does she have low self esteem? That might explain why she isn’t dating someone her age.

College is a liberal education for some, not a professional training school.

And considering what we know about Mom....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She says she wants to get married eventually. I don't know if to this guy or not. Isn't it kind of weird? He hasn't even started a career yet and actually doesn't have a degree, he works retail. She's college educated, works a low paying office job. I'm like why can't you look for a guy with a professional degree when you're a thin, conventionally attractive, college educated 20 something woman? She will never be able to afford a house or family with this guy. We don't have money to give her.

Why didn't you model the behavior you wanted to teach her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She says she wants to get married eventually. I don't know if to this guy or not. Isn't it kind of weird? He hasn't even started a career yet and actually doesn't have a degree, he works retail. She's college educated, works a low paying office job. I'm like why can't you look for a guy with a professional degree when you're a thin, conventionally attractive, college educated 20 something woman? She will never be able to afford a house or family with this guy. We don't have money to give her.

Why couldn't she pick up one of the high paid workers at her office? Is she attractive or just attractive to Mom?

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]She says she wants to get married eventually. I don't know if to this guy or not. Isn't it kind of weird? He hasn't even started a career yet and actually doesn't have a degree, he works retail. She's college educated, works a low paying office job. I'm like why can't you look for a guy with a professional degree when you're a thin, conventionally attractive, college educated 20 something woman? She will never be able to afford a house or family with this guy. We don't have money to give her.[/quote]

Her kids will get financial aid to a top college. She's playing the long game.

[Anonymous]

I know someone who is 33 and married a 26 year old. They met when he was 20 and she went to his graduation.

[Anonymous]

That is a tough situation for you op, sorry. You'll have to suck it up if they are kind to each other and get on well. If he is dragging her down and she seems more dysfunctional, step in!
You don't know what their next steps will be but hopefully he has some ambition? Many people I know started dating before any established career but supported each other and ended up in great positions. Some even took a while to find themselves, like into their 30s something just switched. Does he seem put together, easy to have a conversation with and positive? Is there something other than the age and employment that gives you pause (mumbling, no eye contact, bad dresser, gaming addiction, pot head)? Your dd doesn't have to date Mr. Perfect on paper anytime she is in a relationship. This may pass, but if that's not likely, practice acceptance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Predator Alert!!! A 22 year old man, especially of the present generation, has the mental and social maturity of an adolescent boy.

A 22 year old is predatory towards a 29 year old? Do you get out much?

Reading is fundamental please! A 29 year old woman is predating on a 22 year old with no education and no job. Although you could argue it’s the other way around, he’s punching way above his weight here.

Does this guy have his own place yet, OP? He might be a hobosexual.

The word you're looking for is "preying"

Predating is something else entirely.

Too late for predating.
They're already dating. OP is asking how to get them to postdating

Best comment on the thread

[Anonymous]

I know it’s anecdata but I used to date someone 7 years younger and less ambitious when I was 27 and it was after a painful breakup and stunted my development even more. I was able to move on eventually but even now at 47 I think it was all very unnecessary and I wasted a few years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Predator Alert!!! A 22 year old man, especially of the present generation, has the mental and social maturity of an adolescent boy.

A 22 year old is predatory towards a 29 year old? Do you get out much?

do you get out much?
a woman can be predatory toward a man

[Anonymous]

She is having fun and probably having a lot of sex. This is the type of relationship you normally don’t mention to your parents.

Only problem is that she is wasting her prime dating years of meeting a guy to marry.