Jerky things spouse has done

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thinking about that time when I was 8 months pregnant, and asked my husband to help me zip up my boots, and he refused, saying it would set a bad precedent. Why do these moments live on in my head? Also asked why I couldn’t drive myself to the hospital when I was in labor.

This sounds like something my ex husband of 15 years would have done (I’m laughing). He was a good guy , still is. Very responsible , accountable, and financially successful. Lots of hobbies and interests. He was just clueless and casual with such things. I think he picked it up from his dad. Try to redirect or ignore

[Anonymous]

Same poster as above. Honestly, I think we all have these lists. Guys are clueless about small matters. - focus on the big matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thinking about that time when I was 8 months pregnant, and asked my husband to help me zip up my boots, and he refused, saying it would set a bad precedent. Why do these moments live on in my head? Also asked why I couldn’t drive myself to the hospital when I was in labor.

I told DH it was time to go to the hospital- he ran off to take a shower. “I need to be relaxed and ready” as if HE is the one giving birth!!! He also frequently says he could feel everything during labor.

What a doofus.

I am laughing out loud bc this is so familiar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thinking about that time when I was 8 months pregnant, and asked my husband to help me zip up my boots, and he refused, saying it would set a bad precedent. Why do these moments live on in my head? Also asked why I couldn’t drive myself to the hospital when I was in labor.

NUTS I have hip pain and my husband often will tie my shoes if they laces get loose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He doesn't like you. I'd do those things for a person who I like and isn't even asking.

I'd do those things for a stranger.

+1

You have to question your husband’s morality. Is the type that pushes old people out and small children of the way? Does he drive and cut people off, then flip them the bird? Does he do the right thing when no one is looking? Does he cheat on his taxes? Does he backstab his colleagues and boss?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thinking about that time when I was 8 months pregnant, and asked my husband to help me zip up my boots, and he refused, saying it would set a bad precedent. Why do these moments live on in my head? Also asked why I couldn’t drive myself to the hospital when I was in labor.

I told DH it was time to go to the hospital- he ran off to take a shower. “I need to be relaxed and ready” as if HE is the one giving birth!!! He also frequently says he could feel everything during labor.

What a doofus.

I told DH this behavior did not get a positive reception and he is disputing my recollection- saying that my contractions were 7 minutes apart when he took that fateful shower, not 5.

Faithful reader, my contractions were absolutely 5 minutes apart, it was early morning, and I had told him it was time to go to the hospital. My 7 minute apart contractions had begun at midnight the night before and I was up all night waiting for them to get closer.

I do have a correction to make- he used to say he was “pushing with me” the whole time during labor. No, he wasn’t.

In any event he has been a good father and is slightly less obsessed with his showers, 13 years later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have about a million stories I can tell, but the most recent one that pisses me off is that he locks the bedroom door every night, and I have to unlock it to get into bed. He goes up before me and locks the door for some reason. I have a clip I use to unlock it every night, but every time I do it I feel humiliated and angry. I've asked him not to do it, but he says "you don't come up to bed every night anyway" and since I know he's extremely passive aggressive I know that he's mad because sometimes I DO sleep in the guest room due to some pretty bad insomnia I've been dealing with. it's just easier to sleep in the guest room and be able to turn on a light and read in the middle of the night if I have to, and also not be woken up at 5:30 (when he gets up for work), when I've finally fallen asleep. But he takes every single thing as a personal attack and it hurts his ego if I don't sleep in the same room, so he is punishing me by locking the door.

You need to leave. This is beyond being a jerk.

Agreed. This isn't jerk. this is pyschopath behavior

[Anonymous]

Mine remarked that I have a “low pain tolerance” after the birth of our first. And this- after having such an incredibly fast labor that I was 9cm dilated when I was first checked after getting settled in my room (my water broke at home about 1.5hrs prior to that, and was first sign of labor). So uhh yes- I was in a fair amount of pain & kind of panicky in my surprise at how things went down- yes. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same poster as above. Honestly, I think we all have these lists. Guys are clueless about small matters. focus on the big matters.

I’m sure thinking that makes you feel better so I’m sorry to say this but, no, not all men are like this. I’m reading this thread feeling so sad and angry for all of you who are in relationships w people like this (lacking empathy or consideration). How awful to spend your life—your one life—w someone who doesn’t truly value or think of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thinking about that time when I was 8 months pregnant, and asked my husband to help me zip up my boots, and he refused, saying it would set a bad precedent. Why do these moments live on in my head? Also asked why I couldn’t drive myself to the hospital when I was in labor.

I told DH it was time to go to the hospital- he ran off to take a shower. “I need to be relaxed and ready” as if HE is the one giving birth!!! He also frequently says he could feel everything during labor.

What a doofus.

I told DH this behavior did not get a positive reception and he is disputing my recollection- saying that my contractions were 7 minutes apart when he took that fateful shower, not 5.

Faithful reader, my contractions were absolutely 5 minutes apart, it was early morning, and I had told him it was time to go to the hospital. My 7 minute apart contractions had begun at midnight the night before and I was up all night waiting for them to get closer.

I do have a correction to make- he used to say he was “pushing with me” the whole time during labor. No, he wasn’t.

In any event he has been a good father and is slightly less obsessed with his showers, 13 years later.

Haha, he doubled down and got defensive and made up stuff when reminded. Wonderful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same poster as above. Honestly, I think we all have these lists. Guys are clueless about small matters. focus on the big matters.

I’m sure thinking that makes you feel better so I’m sorry to say this but, no, not all men are like this. I’m reading this thread feeling so sad and angry for all of you who are in relationships w people like this (lacking empathy or consideration). How awful to spend your life—your one life—w someone who doesn’t truly value or think of you.

Relax. No one is perfect and some of these men (hopefully) learned and grew or will eventually learn and grow.