Need to Tell my Best Friend Something Anonymously About Her Child

[Anonymous]

I would sit down with your daughter and explain why you think it is important to tell your friend. Tell your daughter that you know you were told in confidence but some things are too important to keep secret. Tell her that she is being a good friend by helping her friend get the help she needs. And then tell your friend.

[Anonymous]

Hope, your daughter, not her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you so much everyone!

I definitely need to say something. I'm deciding between an anonymous email to the counselor or anonymous email to my friend. Which would you do?

Counselor and principal of school.

[Anonymous]

Unless she is about to commit suicide or homicide or start fentanyl, stay out of it.

[Anonymous]

Honestly is always the best policy, but if there is really no way to work with your daughter and get to a place where you both know it's a tough, but necessary, conversation then depending on the subject matter I guess an anon email is better than doing nothing.

The counselor at the school should be bound to a code of ethics that would ensure privacy in the matter - however, an anon email might not be considered credible. The counselor might speak to the student and if the student denies "it" that might be the end of it. I would like to believe that if it were a situation of potentially deadly harm to herself or someone else that the counselor would contact her parents, but that might not be guaranteed based on questions about credibility, so emailing her mom might be better.

That said, there are times in life we need to not be cowardly and tackle hard things head on. I'd have a serious conversation with yourself AND your daughter, to make sure this isn't one of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless she is about to commit suicide or homicide or start fentanyl, stay out of it.

Bruh, read the thread

[Anonymous]

Don't send an anonymous email. Be bold and stand up and help this kid out. Tell the parents or the school, but do it as yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. I love my best friend but I need to 100 percent make sure I'm protecting my DD too.

I'm normally in the camp of letting your child know that some things are so important that confidences need to be broken. However, if this girl is dealing and is hanging out with people with guns I would 100% worry about your child's safety if it gets around that your child was the "narc." I vote anonymous email to counselor with a link to the social media accounts as proof.

This. It won’t be just that someone will get mad at your DD or block her from group texts. You don’t make drug dealers with guns angry without knowing what you’re doing.

[Anonymous]

Tell your friend yourself. Say you saaw it on your DD's phone. Dont call the school. They will report it to law enforcement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. I love my best friend but I need to 100 percent make sure I'm protecting my DD too.

I'm normally in the camp of letting your child know that some things are so important that confidences need to be broken. However, if this girl is dealing and is hanging out with people with guns I would 100% worry about your child's safety if it gets around that your child was the "narc." I vote anonymous email to counselor with a link to the social media accounts as proof.

This. It won’t be just that someone will get mad at your DD or block her from group texts. You don’t make drug dealers with guns angry without knowing what you’re doing.

This. OP you need to be 100% foolproof anonymous. I’m all for standing up for what’s right, but let’s not be stupid. You don’t piss off armed drug dealers.

[Anonymous]

What about sending an anonymous tip through Safe Schools Maryland?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you so much everyone!

I definitely need to say something. I'm deciding between an anonymous email to the counselor or anonymous email to my friend. Which would you do?

Our school has a rule that they won’t punish if you call and tell them. Does your school have this rule?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't send an anonymous email. Be bold and stand up and help this kid out. Tell the parents or the school, but do it as yourself.

Yeah, don't do an anonymous email. Then the counselor and principal have to waste time trying to figure out if it's real or if it's another student packing them or whatever. Whereas if a parent calls, any decent counselor or educator would completely understand why you want to stay anonymous outside of the reporting conversation, but they could start out by taking you seriously and move more quickly to helping the girl.

And if the other mom is literally your best friend and you are hers, I can't imagine not telling her, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you so much everyone!

I definitely need to say something. I'm deciding between an anonymous email to the counselor or anonymous email to my friend. Which would you do?

Don't do either of those. Talk to your friend.

Bringing in the school means bringing int he police. It means this is her record. Is that what you want to have happen?

Are you a good enough actor that when your friend talks to you about the email, you'll keep a straight face? Or what if she DOESN'T talk about the email - then you're going to say, "Hey, get any interesting emails lately?"

Tell your daughter that you have to talk to your friend, adult to adult. You don't have to say you got this info from your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. I love my best friend but I need to 100 percent make sure I'm protecting my DD too.

I'm normally in the camp of letting your child know that some things are so important that confidences need to be broken. However, if this girl is dealing and is hanging out with people with guns I would 100% worry about your child's safety if it gets around that your child was the "narc." I vote anonymous email to counselor with a link to the social media accounts as proof.

+100.