Need to Tell my Best Friend Something Anonymously About Her Child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it's pregnancy, suicide, dropping out of school, anorexia, or a physically abusive relationship, blow up your childs world

+1
Or anything harmful, like drugs....

Definitely tell your kid your going to do this and the consequences of not doing this. Get her on board with helping her friend. Have her there when you tell your friend if she wants to be there.

+1 This is a good point. Definitely disclose to your own child. You sound like a good parent who raised a good kid. Your child will understand why you have to do this.

[Anonymous]

What will the school counselor do with the anonymous email report?

[Anonymous]

It’s a crime and i think they'll notify the police

[Anonymous]

I would notify the police myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What will the school counselor do with the anonymous email report?

I question this, as well. If it's an anonymous email, isn't it likely to be flagged as a scam?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would notify the police myself.

And tell your kid to stay away from the girl dealing.

[Anonymous]

Call the police.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you everyone. My friends DD is purchasing drugs and is reselling them to other kids. There is a social media account where people contact the child and the girl has been hanging out with people who own guns. My DD also said that the child’s co dealer got jumped with a gun.

I need to tell my best friend and also protect my DD confidences.

Your daughter told you because she wants you to help. Help.

[Anonymous]

Report the social media account to the company. They can investigate the private messages.

[Anonymous]

You tell your kid that another child is in danger and you can’t let that continue and have to get the kid in danger help. Your kid will be upset but will eventually understand.

Then your tell your friend face to face. Don’t be anonymous, don’t go to the guidance counselor. Be the adult.

I faced this when my daughter told me that a friend was planning suicide, but not to tell. I explained to her that I couldn’t just stand by and not help the kid. My daughter was furious. I told the parents and the school counselors. The other kid was super mad at my daughter and called her a snitch, but she also got psychiatric help. A month or so after this, my daughter came to me and apologized for being upset at me because she realized what the consequences could have been.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it’s important to someone’s health and safety, you tell your friend and they keep your kid out of it.

You explain to your child that you have an obligation to break her confidence, and why. If you can’t explain it to her with compassion but clearly, that may be a sign that you don’t need to do it.

Agreed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you everyone. My friends DD is purchasing drugs and is reselling them to other kids. There is a social media account where people contact the child and the girl has been hanging out with people who own guns. My DD also said that the child’s co dealer got jumped with a gun.

I need to tell my best friend and also protect my DD confidences.

Your daughter told you because she wants you to help. Help.

Good God. I'm so sorry, OP. Agree with PP. Your DD told you because she trusts you and has no idea what to do with this information, and she needs your help. The fact that she came to you with something like this speaks volumes about both of you.

I'd sit her down as PP suggested and explain that someone could end up dead, and as an adult, you have a responsibility to take action. I also agree with the PP who said you tell your friend face to face. You have a horrible dilemma here, but what if you report to a counselor, a principal, or the police, they do nothing with the information, and somebody ends up dead?

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you so much everyone!

I definitely need to say something. I'm deciding between an anonymous email to the counselor or anonymous email to my friend. Which would you do?

[Anonymous]

OP again. I love my best friend but I need to 100 percent make sure I'm protecting my DD too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. I love my best friend but I need to 100 percent make sure I'm protecting my DD too.

I'm normally in the camp of letting your child know that some things are so important that confidences need to be broken. However, if this girl is dealing and is hanging out with people with guns I would 100% worry about your child's safety if it gets around that your child was the "narc." I vote anonymous email to counselor with a link to the social media accounts as proof.