The McLean School: ASD kids need not apply

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no way I would apply to a school that stated clearly at an open house that they do not want my child. I would not want my child to have to spend every day at school feeling like they had to apologize for being who they are. That’s bs.

Agree McLean should state this on their website as clearly as they did at the event.

We got this word through the grapevine a few years ago when we were looking for HS for our student with ASD and didn’t even apply to McLean. Our student is attending a mainstream private with absolutely no academic or other school supports and doing well. They still have social challenges but don’t require hours and hours of interventions and aren’t debilitated.

They never said that. OP didn't do her homework. It's well known that McLean is known for ADHD/organizational issues/anxiety etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This co-head is an interim and is only there until the new head comes next summer. From my understanding, no one is happy about the co-head situation at the school.

I have no idea why she was speaking for the admissions director but please know that there are students at McLean with autism in their profile.

My child is at a different school far away with a very similar profile to McLean. The past few years have a time of a lot of change in our student body. At some point just before the pandemic our K-8 school became known of being quietly good at accommodating neurodiversity. Unfortunately this was true for the then 2-3 neurodiverse students in each grade but it wasn’t scalable. As more families with kids with higher (and often undeclared) needs sought the school out during and after the pandemic, it didn’t have the resources for grades with 25% of students needing accommodations. Families of typical learners got mad because they sensed- possibly inaccurately- that resources were disproportionally going to neurodiverse students. By late elementary/middle school, there are now a lot of kids applying out to 5-12 and 6-12 schools because of socially imbalanced grades. When you have a grade of 35 kids and 5 kids of each gender are missing social cues or not interacting in the same way as others, middle school spidey sense is activated. Kids know, and middle school kids aren’t as kind or patient towards their different classmates as they were in 1st grade.

Our head of school hasn’t yet stood up and say “we can’t accommodate kids with autism” but that is probably the next step in terms of managing enrollment, retention, and resources. It’s a nasty thing to do at an open house that includes students, though. I’m sorry, OP.

Interesting perspective. Sounds like you found a good school that’s trying to accommodate everyone. Unfortunately that’s almost impossible especially in the higher grades like you stated. Hopefully they can create a couple ND classrooms rather than denying their applications completely or chasing away the more NT kids.

I’m the PP you’re responding to. I don’t think our school ever truly intended to accommodate anyone! I think that a few kids entered in early grades and as the school began to grasp their issues, they tried to find a way to make it work for that particular student. But soon they found themselves doing it more and more frequently and the accommodation that was seen as a one-off began to be something that happened frequently. It’s not sustainable and admissions has begun to be a lot more probing during visit days and family interviews.

No way is my kids’ school going to create a neurodiverse classroom! Unfortunately there would be a huge stigma of doing so at an otherwise generic independent school. Where we live, easily 50% of private non-parochial schools that serve elementary and middle school require students to test in with cogat/Wisc/etc. as “gifted.” Those schools are far more open to autism as long as it’s 2e/accompanied by giftedness, and their classrooms are essentially neurodiverse by default. But they would never, ever describe themselves that way, which is sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am disgusted. You'd think the co-head of school would have a bit more intelligence and class to not categorically dismiss a whole group of kids in a public statement.

I'm sure this won't make you feel better OP but this school is only good for a specific type of kid. They make kids who are not that bright seem bright by lowering the standards. It works for kids who feel stupid because they can't cut it in a mainstream environment by building up their self esteem but it doesn't really provide the support you'd think the do. It's a trick in some ways because they are not achieving more. They are just changing the goal posts but I do think this service is valuable to some kids.

You actually don't know she said it the way OP presents it. The McLean School is clear in its literature that it's not for autistic students. The schools are clear in their mission statements. Here's a list of the SN schools in the area. For autism you should look at St. Colletta, Ivymount, Phillips School and Kennedy Krieger. https://www.washingtonian.com/2007/11/01/special-needs-private-schools-in-dc-maryland-virginia-1/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am disgusted. You'd think the co-head of school would have a bit more intelligence and class to not categorically dismiss a whole group of kids in a public statement.

I'm sure this won't make you feel better OP but this school is only good for a specific type of kid. They make kids who are not that bright seem bright by lowering the standards. It works for kids who feel stupid because they can't cut it in a mainstream environment by building up their self esteem but it doesn't really provide the support you'd think the do. It's a trick in some ways because they are not achieving more. They are just changing the goal posts but I do think this service is valuable to some kids.

You actually don't know she said it the way OP presents it. The McLean School is clear in its literature that it's not for autistic students. The schools are clear in their mission statements. Here's a list of the SN schools in the area. For autism you should look at St. Colletta, Ivymount, Phillips School and Kennedy Krieger. https://www.washingtonian.com/2007/11/01/special-needs-private-schools-in-dc-maryland-virginia-1/

A school like Mclean cannot categorically reject students based on a disability. Hopefully they get sued.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So the OP said McLean doesn’t serve ASD kids well, not that they don’t serve ASD kids at all. McLean also explained what population they do serve well.

OP also said the school evaluates on an individual basis, but rather than go through that process they walked out. How do we know if the school would or wouldn’t serve a child with the profile in question if they don’t apply?

If your kid doesn’t fit the school profile fine, but attacking a school for being honest about the populations they can serve well or not serve well sounds ridiculous. Given the context of this being an informational meeting, it seems some people are getting upset about semantics. At least apply first then complain.

OP here: I never said that the school evaluates applications on an individualized basis. We stayed for the entire information session, and that was never conveyed. We walked out without taking the tour. I'm pretty sure the student guides were not going to discuss admission criteria.

Before we left, I asked the admissions director whether the school accepts kids with ASD. She repeated that school does not "serve those kids well." She did not say that the school reviews applications on an individualized basis and she did not invite us to apply.

We're not going to apply because on the way out to the car, DC said, "I have autism. That school doesn't want me."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no way I would apply to a school that stated clearly at an open house that they do not want my child. I would not want my child to have to spend every day at school feeling like they had to apologize for being who they are. That’s bs.

Agree McLean should state this on their website as clearly as they did at the event.

We got this word through the grapevine a few years ago when we were looking for HS for our student with ASD and didn’t even apply to McLean. Our student is attending a mainstream private with absolutely no academic or other school supports and doing well. They still have social challenges but don’t require hours and hours of interventions and aren’t debilitated.

They never said that. OP didn't do her homework. It's well known that McLean is known for ADHD/organizational issues/anxiety etc.

OP here: Except that several McLean parents have said that their kids attend school with ASD kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am disgusted. You'd think the co-head of school would have a bit more intelligence and class to not categorically dismiss a whole group of kids in a public statement.

I'm sure this won't make you feel better OP but this school is only good for a specific type of kid. They make kids who are not that bright seem bright by lowering the standards. It works for kids who feel stupid because they can't cut it in a mainstream environment by building up their self esteem but it doesn't really provide the support you'd think the do. It's a trick in some ways because they are not achieving more. They are just changing the goal posts but I do think this service is valuable to some kids.

You actually don't know she said it the way OP presents it. The McLean School is clear in its literature that it's not for autistic students. The schools are clear in their mission statements. Here's a list of the SN schools in the area. For autism you should look at St. Colletta, Ivymount, Phillips School and Kennedy Krieger. https://www.washingtonian.com/2007/11/01/special-needs-private-schools-in-dc-maryland-virginia-1/

A school like Mclean cannot categorically reject students based on a disability. Hopefully they get sued.

I’m not sure that’s true. It’s a private school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:to wit:"Our Abilities Model® starts with gifts and helps all students — conventional learners as well as those with challenges such as dyslexia, anxiety, and ADHD, or organizational challenges".

That is not on the spectrum.

NP. I have a DC with ASD (mild, sorry not sorry), who is on/above grade level, and some some executive functioning and organizational challenges. I would read the above and think it would be a good fit for my DC - until they say out loud that they do not take kids with ASD. Okay, then, no. We would walk out then too.

I disagree. I am reading "dyslexia, anxiety and ADHD, or organizational challenges". THAT does not say on the spectrum. Each SN school in the area has its own mission statement. You need to READ the statement and if confused, call. The McLean School has always in my mind been clear on autism. So you go look at Ivymont or the other area schools that specialize in that. For the same reason, Commonwealth Academy clearly states as its mission statement that it is for average to gifted kids with ADHD. It, too, will steer clear of ASD because its teachers are not equipped to teach to that set of issues.

CALL AND ASK THE School first. Don't blast them here.

I have nothing to do with the McLean School but think OP was grossly unfair. She should have read the particulars and if confused call and ask.

OP here: We were on the website. We had a consultant call on our behalf. Admissions said they do accept ASD kids, so long as they are engaged. That's why we went to the open house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am disgusted. You'd think the co-head of school would have a bit more intelligence and class to not categorically dismiss a whole group of kids in a public statement.

I'm sure this won't make you feel better OP but this school is only good for a specific type of kid. They make kids who are not that bright seem bright by lowering the standards. It works for kids who feel stupid because they can't cut it in a mainstream environment by building up their self esteem but it doesn't really provide the support you'd think the do. It's a trick in some ways because they are not achieving more. They are just changing the goal posts but I do think this service is valuable to some kids.

You actually don't know she said it the way OP presents it. The McLean School is clear in its literature that it's not for autistic students. The schools are clear in their mission statements. Here's a list of the SN schools in the area. For autism you should look at St. Colletta, Ivymount, Phillips School and Kennedy Krieger. https://www.washingtonian.com/2007/11/01/special-needs-private-schools-in-dc-maryland-virginia-1/

OP here. DC is doing great in a school that is not designed for kids with ASD, so I have no idea why we would consider those schools. Not every kid with ASD needs to be in a school for kids with ASD. See the previous posts in this string.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This co-head is an interim and is only there until the new head comes next summer. From my understanding, no one is happy about the co-head situation at the school.

I have no idea why she was speaking for the admissions director but please know that there are students at McLean with autism in their profile.

My child is at a different school far away with a very similar profile to McLean. The past few years have a time of a lot of change in our student body. At some point just before the pandemic our K-8 school became known of being quietly good at accommodating neurodiversity. Unfortunately this was true for the then 2-3 neurodiverse students in each grade but it wasn’t scalable. As more families with kids with higher (and often undeclared) needs sought the school out during and after the pandemic, it didn’t have the resources for grades with 25% of students needing accommodations. Families of typical learners got mad because they sensed- possibly inaccurately- that resources were disproportionally going to neurodiverse students. By late elementary/middle school, there are now a lot of kids applying out to 5-12 and 6-12 schools because of socially imbalanced grades. When you have a grade of 35 kids and 5 kids of each gender are missing social cues or not interacting in the same way as others, middle school spidey sense is activated. Kids know, and middle school kids aren’t as kind or patient towards their different classmates as they were in 1st grade.

Our head of school hasn’t yet stood up and say “we can’t accommodate kids with autism” but that is probably the next step in terms of managing enrollment, retention, and resources. It’s a nasty thing to do at an open house that includes students, though. I’m sorry, OP.

Interesting perspective. Sounds like you found a good school that’s trying to accommodate everyone. Unfortunately that’s almost impossible especially in the higher grades like you stated. Hopefully they can create a couple ND classrooms rather than denying their applications completely or chasing away the more NT kids.

I’m the PP you’re responding to. I don’t think our school ever truly intended to accommodate anyone! I think that a few kids entered in early grades and as the school began to grasp their issues, they tried to find a way to make it work for that particular student. But soon they found themselves doing it more and more frequently and the accommodation that was seen as a one-off began to be something that happened frequently. It’s not sustainable and admissions has begun to be a lot more probing during visit days and family interviews.

No way is my kids’ school going to create a neurodiverse classroom! Unfortunately there would be a huge stigma of doing so at an otherwise generic independent school. Where we live, easily 50% of private non-parochial schools that serve elementary and middle school require students to test in with cogat/Wisc/etc. as “gifted.” Those schools are far more open to autism as long as it’s 2e/accompanied by giftedness, and their classrooms are essentially neurodiverse by default. But they would never, ever describe themselves that way, which is sad.

That’s interesting because 2E mixed with NT presents a whole other set of challenges than just an ASD or ND classroom. It’s surprising to me that ND would have an instant stigma but 2E doesn’t- maybe it’s all in the presentation (or lack of as you said).

I personally really like schools that have a mix of students in various types of classrooms, including NT, ND, and several in between with the ability for a child to move between classrooms as needed. Fit the child to the classroom that best fits them so to speak. I realize few schools exist that do that well though and also realize many people think that way is old school and every student should be in a “regular” classroom regardless of challenges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am disgusted. You'd think the co-head of school would have a bit more intelligence and class to not categorically dismiss a whole group of kids in a public statement.

I'm sure this won't make you feel better OP but this school is only good for a specific type of kid. They make kids who are not that bright seem bright by lowering the standards. It works for kids who feel stupid because they can't cut it in a mainstream environment by building up their self esteem but it doesn't really provide the support you'd think the do. It's a trick in some ways because they are not achieving more. They are just changing the goal posts but I do think this service is valuable to some kids.

You actually don't know she said it the way OP presents it. The McLean School is clear in its literature that it's not for autistic students. The schools are clear in their mission statements. Here's a list of the SN schools in the area. For autism you should look at St. Colletta, Ivymount, Phillips School and Kennedy Krieger. https://www.washingtonian.com/2007/11/01/special-needs-private-schools-in-dc-maryland-virginia-1/

OP here. DC is doing great in a school that is not designed for kids with ASD, so I have no idea why we would consider those schools. Not every kid with ASD needs to be in a school for kids with ASD. See the previous posts in this string.

That’s the hard part- a lot of ASD kids do better when integrated into classrooms that are majority or all neurotypical kids. As the number of kids with ASD increases, it will be harder to find space in these kinds of classrooms.

What you’re experiencing is those kinds of schools that do allow a small minority of ASD kids into their cohorts admitting that they are limiting the number of ASD kids to what they consider a manageable amount. It’s great for the kids that have ASD and join those schools early, but other families like yours are getting left on the outside looking in. Parents of “high functioning” (forgive the term) ASD kids are saying they want their kids in a neurotypical classroom, and parents of neurotypical kids are saying they want their kids in a neurotypical classroom. I’m not sure if we have a good solution for this in this generation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am disgusted. You'd think the co-head of school would have a bit more intelligence and class to not categorically dismiss a whole group of kids in a public statement.

I'm sure this won't make you feel better OP but this school is only good for a specific type of kid. They make kids who are not that bright seem bright by lowering the standards. It works for kids who feel stupid because they can't cut it in a mainstream environment by building up their self esteem but it doesn't really provide the support you'd think the do. It's a trick in some ways because they are not achieving more. They are just changing the goal posts but I do think this service is valuable to some kids.

You actually don't know she said it the way OP presents it. The McLean School is clear in its literature that it's not for autistic students. The schools are clear in their mission statements. Here's a list of the SN schools in the area. For autism you should look at St. Colletta, Ivymount, Phillips School and Kennedy Krieger. https://www.washingtonian.com/2007/11/01/special-needs-private-schools-in-dc-maryland-virginia-1/

A school like Mclean cannot categorically reject students based on a disability. Hopefully they get sued.

I’m not sure that’s true. It’s a private school.

The ADA applies to private entities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So the OP said McLean doesn’t serve ASD kids well, not that they don’t serve ASD kids at all. McLean also explained what population they do serve well.

OP also said the school evaluates on an individual basis, but rather than go through that process they walked out. How do we know if the school would or wouldn’t serve a child with the profile in question if they don’t apply?

If your kid doesn’t fit the school profile fine, but attacking a school for being honest about the populations they can serve well or not serve well sounds ridiculous. Given the context of this being an informational meeting, it seems some people are getting upset about semantics. At least apply first then complain.

OP here: I never said that the school evaluates applications on an individualized basis. We stayed for the entire information session, and that was never conveyed. We walked out without taking the tour. I'm pretty sure the student guides were not going to discuss admission criteria.

Before we left, I asked the admissions director whether the school accepts kids with ASD. She repeated that school does not "serve those kids well." She did not say that the school reviews applications on an individualized basis and she did not invite us to apply.

We're not going to apply because on the way out to the car, DC said, "I have autism. That school doesn't want me."

“Here's how McLean markets itself (from its website):

"Each application is assessed on an individual basis to ensure that McLean is able to meet the needs of our students. While McLean provides embedded academic support in the classroom, we are most successful with bright students whose primary challenge is not behavioral, social, or emotional."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:to wit:"Our Abilities Model® starts with gifts and helps all students — conventional learners as well as those with challenges such as dyslexia, anxiety, and ADHD, or organizational challenges".

That is not on the spectrum.

NP. I have a DC with ASD (mild, sorry not sorry), who is on/above grade level, and some some executive functioning and organizational challenges. I would read the above and think it would be a good fit for my DC - until they say out loud that they do not take kids with ASD. Okay, then, no. We would walk out then too.

I disagree. I am reading "dyslexia, anxiety and ADHD, or organizational challenges". THAT does not say on the spectrum. Each SN school in the area has its own mission statement. You need to READ the statement and if confused, call. The McLean School has always in my mind been clear on autism. So you go look at Ivymont or the other area schools that specialize in that. For the same reason, Commonwealth Academy clearly states as its mission statement that it is for average to gifted kids with ADHD. It, too, will steer clear of ASD because its teachers are not equipped to teach to that set of issues.

CALL AND ASK THE School first. Don't blast them here.

I have nothing to do with the McLean School but think OP was grossly unfair. She should have read the particulars and if confused call and ask.

OP here: We were on the website. We had a consultant call on our behalf. Admissions said they do accept ASD kids, so long as they are engaged. That's why we went to the open house.

So you got the official info from admissions. You are putting way too muck stock in a brief remark from a person in a very temporary position. There is no need for all this drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am disgusted. You'd think the co-head of school would have a bit more intelligence and class to not categorically dismiss a whole group of kids in a public statement.

I'm sure this won't make you feel better OP but this school is only good for a specific type of kid. They make kids who are not that bright seem bright by lowering the standards. It works for kids who feel stupid because they can't cut it in a mainstream environment by building up their self esteem but it doesn't really provide the support you'd think the do. It's a trick in some ways because they are not achieving more. They are just changing the goal posts but I do think this service is valuable to some kids.

You actually don't know she said it the way OP presents it. The McLean School is clear in its literature that it's not for autistic students. The schools are clear in their mission statements. Here's a list of the SN schools in the area. For autism you should look at St. Colletta, Ivymount, Phillips School and Kennedy Krieger. https://www.washingtonian.com/2007/11/01/special-needs-private-schools-in-dc-maryland-virginia-1/

OP here. DC is doing great in a school that is not designed for kids with ASD, so I have no idea why we would consider those schools. Not every kid with ASD needs to be in a school for kids with ASD. See the previous posts in this string.

That’s the hard part- a lot of ASD kids do better when integrated into classrooms that are majority or all neurotypical kids. As the number of kids with ASD increases, it will be harder to find space in these kinds of classrooms.

What you’re experiencing is those kinds of schools that do allow a small minority of ASD kids into their cohorts admitting that they are limiting the number of ASD kids to what they consider a manageable amount. It’s great for the kids that have ASD and join those schools early, but other families like yours are getting left on the outside looking in. Parents of “high functioning” (forgive the term) ASD kids are saying they want their kids in a neurotypical classroom, and parents of neurotypical kids are saying they want their kids in a neurotypical classroom. I’m not sure if we have a good solution for this in this generation.

Sure we have a good solution - the ADA prohibits segregating kids based on their disability alone.