I'm so glad Halloween is over

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m with you OP. Halloween is by far my least favorite holiday because of the social stress. My oldest is with his dad every other year on Halloween (and every other weekend), plus he plays a travel sport outside of the community, so he gets forgotten in Halloween. My younger kids have a great time with a solid friend group and we’re close with their parents’ friends, but I feel terrible about how Halloween went down for my older kid this year. I think he’s aging out of trick or treating (7th grade) or at least almost to a point where it’ll be kids organizing it rather than parents.

I think this is the biggest factor in whether Halloween is fun or not. I didn't have a solid friend group when I was a kid so Halloween was stressful and I was happy to outgrow it. Fortunately, my kids both have great friend groups in our neighborhood and we have a great ToT neighborhood so I was surprised at how fun it is. As DD's gotten older and loves crafting elaborate costumes the only downside is that she gets stressed out about finishing her creation on time.

[Anonymous]

I had fun taking my kids trick or treating and watching their excitement, but I will say it's annoying that adults have sort of taken it over and made it about themselves too much. Our neighborhood has a mix of young families and parents of teens/college age/adult kids. Last night so many houses did not have their lights on because the adults with grown up kids were all partying around fire pits at one person's house instead. They just put out a table with bowls for the kids to grab candy. I know it's a silly thing to be annoyed at, but part of the fun for the kids is going door to door and saying "trick or treat!", having the adults comment on their costumes, etc. Now the adults just say "hey the candy's over there" and go back to their conversation with no other interaction with the kids. And yeah the friend group thing. Parents love posting photos of their big gathering on their own social media, like they want everyone to see how popular their kid is (or how popular they are, more likely). My own kids went with one friend that we coordinated with in advance and happened to ToT alongside a few other kids on our street for as long as our paths overlapped. None of us on our street felt the need to plan some big production where a group of 20 kids gets together before and after. It just feels engineered for the sake of social media, like so many things these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had fun taking my kids trick or treating and watching their excitement, but I will say it's annoying that adults have sort of taken it over and made it about themselves too much. Our neighborhood has a mix of young families and parents of teens/college age/adult kids. Last night so many houses did not have their lights on because the adults with grown up kids were all partying around fire pits at one person's house instead. They just put out a table with bowls for the kids to grab candy. I know it's a silly thing to be annoyed at, but part of the fun for the kids is going door to door and saying "trick or treat!", having the adults comment on their costumes, etc. Now the adults just say "hey the candy's over there" and go back to their conversation with no other interaction with the kids. And yeah the friend group thing. Parents love posting photos of their big gathering on their own social media, like they want everyone to see how popular their kid is (or how popular they are, more likely). My own kids went with one friend that we coordinated with in advance and happened to ToT alongside a few other kids on our street for as long as our paths overlapped. None of us on our street felt the need to plan some big production where a group of 20 kids gets together before and after. It just feels engineered for the sake of social media, like so many things these days.[/quote]

Not only that, but the more kids that get together, the more kids there are that feel excluded. Its a lot of hurtful feelings but the parents don't care and just get defensive saying its not their fault their kid is so popular or some other garbage response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s all the stupid young parents that have turned it into this big, orchestrated social media event, like every other damn thing they have ruined. I assure you my parents were not stressed by Halloween.

They probably were, but you were an oblivious and excited kid and didn’t notice.

My mom handmade our costumes and none of us had smart watches or anything for our parents to track us. Plus remember all the hysteria around needles inside candy, or drugs inside candy? Warnings to avoid creepy houses? Parents were anxious as heck!

[Anonymous]

Wow. It's the easiest holiday of the year. You buy a costume and some candy. Done. I find it the least stressful holiday. My oldest is in high school and transitioned out of ToTing very seamlessly and now answers the door for us.

I think the idea of social media pressure and not having a group or being annoyed at groups or whatever that energy is...that really doesn't affect my life. Not on social media. My younger ones ToT with friends and I walk along with them. That's it. It's not that complicated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had fun taking my kids trick or treating and watching their excitement, but I will say it's annoying that adults have sort of taken it over and made it about themselves too much. Our neighborhood has a mix of young families and parents of teens/college age/adult kids. Last night so many houses did not have their lights on because the adults with grown up kids were all partying around fire pits at one person's house instead. They just put out a table with bowls for the kids to grab candy. I know it's a silly thing to be annoyed at, but part of the fun for the kids is going door to door and saying "trick or treat!", having the adults comment on their costumes, etc. Now the adults just say "hey the candy's over there" and go back to their conversation with no other interaction with the kids. And yeah the friend group thing. Parents love posting photos of their big gathering on their own social media, like they want everyone to see how popular their kid is (or how popular they are, more likely). My own kids went with one friend that we coordinated with in advance and happened to ToT alongside a few other kids on our street for as long as our paths overlapped. None of us on our street felt the need to plan some big production where a group of 20 kids gets together before and after. It just feels engineered for the sake of social media, like so many things these days.

Learn to indent bozo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm opposite of Op - planning vacations, 4th of July (hot, humid, and always a chance of thunderstorms) and getting into 1st & last day of school is a drag for me.

Halloween is "easy" . It's naturally outsourced - free candy, said candy is kids' desserts for months, good exercise, brisk evening, friends, done in 2 hrs. Halloween decor looks good even when it's cheap Dollar Store stuff or your kids crafts from school . No holiday hoopla dinners like with Thanksgiving/Christmas/NYE/4th of July , etc.
Win-win. I like it.

ITA! I think Halloween is the easiest of all those holidays. And I just genuinely love seeing the little ones dressed in costumes.

[Anonymous]

I love Halloween but after 4 Halloween events leading up to the big ToT day, it is exhausting and we are ready to put the costumes away and move on to Thanksgiving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m with you OP. Halloween is by far my least favorite holiday because of the social stress. My oldest is with his dad every other year on Halloween (and every other weekend), plus he plays a travel sport outside of the community, so he gets forgotten in Halloween. My younger kids have a great time with a solid friend group and we’re close with their parents’ friends, but I feel terrible about how Halloween went down for my older kid this year. I think he’s aging out of trick or treating (7th grade) or at least almost to a point where it’ll be kids organizing it rather than parents.

I think this is the biggest factor in whether Halloween is fun or not. I didn't have a solid friend group when I was a kid so Halloween was stressful and I was happy to outgrow it. Fortunately, my kids both have great friend groups in our neighborhood and we have a great ToT neighborhood so I was surprised at how fun it is. As DD's gotten older and loves crafting elaborate costumes the only downside is that she gets stressed out about finishing her creation on time.

Our neighborhood has 1 acre plus lots and is hilly, so kids or their parents have to arrange ToT with friend groups in nearby neighborhoods, which I think contributes to why I dislike Halloween as it relates to my tween. He is generally a social kid and gets invited to birthday parties and other things, but he had no one this year to ToT with and just had to follow around with our group of much younger kids. I feel like a failure as a parent for not figuring it out for him, but he's in that in-between stage right now where it's not clear to me when I should get involved in social planning versus letting it work itself out among the kids. I am an introvert, and arranging social things is the hardest part of parenting for me, especially for his peer group. It made me think we've failed him by focusing so much on sports so far outside of the community rather than just staying local and building friendships. Maybe having a wholesome social life is more important than chasing success in a sport.

[Anonymous]

I do think leaving a bucket of candy on the porch so all the adults can head out is lame. It’s a small thing, but yet another reason kids don’t develop social skills.

The grownups can deal with their FOMO and take turns handing out candy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Halloween has gotten so big and I'm exhausted. When I was a kid it was trick or treating and a class party. That's it. Now we're decorating yards, having multiple celebrations the weekend before, booing people ( both kids asked to do this and we received boos for both). Add in the whole pumpkin spice business and there's just so much--it's getting close to rivaling Christmas.

Then just…don’t do it. Buy your kid a costume, pick up some candy, and pass on all the other stuff.

[Anonymous]

I find it weird and pointless. The decor is ugly. And there is so much gore these days. And the 'celebration' now lasts for days. It is a creepy 'holiday'. The social drama is way overblown by adults and their issues now too. The whole holiday is overblown now.

The only thing remotely ok about it are the cute costumes on the 10 and under crowd. And on the dogs. That is IT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do think leaving a bucket of candy on the porch so all the adults can head out is lame. It’s a small thing, but yet another reason kids don’t develop social skills.

The grownups can deal with their FOMO and take turns handing out candy.

I put a bucket on my porch and watch TV with my dog in the back of the house. It’s not FOMO. It’s just annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m with you OP. Halloween is by far my least favorite holiday because of the social stress. My oldest is with his dad every other year on Halloween (and every other weekend), plus he plays a travel sport outside of the community, so he gets forgotten in Halloween. My younger kids have a great time with a solid friend group and we’re close with their parents’ friends, but I feel terrible about how Halloween went down for my older kid this year. I think he’s aging out of trick or treating (7th grade) or at least almost to a point where it’ll be kids organizing it rather than parents.

I think this is the biggest factor in whether Halloween is fun or not. I didn't have a solid friend group when I was a kid so Halloween was stressful and I was happy to outgrow it. Fortunately, my kids both have great friend groups in our neighborhood and we have a great ToT neighborhood so I was surprised at how fun it is. As DD's gotten older and loves crafting elaborate costumes the only downside is that she gets stressed out about finishing her creation on time.

Our neighborhood has 1 acre plus lots and is hilly, so kids or their parents have to arrange ToT with friend groups in nearby neighborhoods, which I think contributes to why I dislike Halloween as it relates to my tween. He is generally a social kid and gets invited to birthday parties and other things, but he had no one this year to ToT with and just had to follow around with our group of much younger kids. I feel like a failure as a parent for not figuring it out for him, but he's in that in-between stage right now where it's not clear to me when I should get involved in social planning versus letting it work itself out among the kids. I am an introvert, and arranging social things is the hardest part of parenting for me, especially for his peer group. It made me think we've failed him by focusing so much on sports so far outside of the community rather than just staying local and building friendships. Maybe having a wholesome social life is more important than chasing success in a sport.

So much self-inflicted angst. Maybe your kid is completely fine and just didn't have anyone to ToT with this year and then had a good time with the younger kids. It doesn't have to be such a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Halloween has gotten so big and I'm exhausted. When I was a kid it was trick or treating and a class party. That's it. Now we're decorating yards, having multiple celebrations the weekend before, booing people ( both kids asked to do this and we received boos for both). Add in the whole pumpkin spice business and there's just so much--it's getting close to rivaling Christmas.

Then just…don’t do it. Buy your kid a costume, pick up some candy, and pass on all the other stuff.

This. I have so little sympathy for this thread. Don't do it. Are you people adults? Do what works for you.