Women, please give me your tips for how to fast-track your career

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t get married. If you want to have kids, do it as a single parent. Never tell the father, ever. If you can, have you mom move in with you a provide childcare. If you can’t do that, get an amazing nanny, and pay her amazingly well to keep her.

Whaaaat? Why is it better to have kids without the support of a spouse to help raise them? My parents are super helpful but it is different from having a spouse in the home.

“Don’t have kids” is fine advice though. I remember discussing our weekends with a female colleague who is a similar age, with similar age kids, but several rungs above me. Her response - “worked on XYZ” and meanwhile I had an awesome weekend with my kids and didn’t touch my laptop. I suddenly was grateful for the $300k pay difference between us!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be prepared to toss anyone under the bus in order to not only save your skin, but to get seven steps ahead of the next person.

Please don’t do this. It can hurt your brand. And you’ll make enemies for life. As Madeline Albright said, “there’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women”. That’s a far better way to go. Find a mentor. Be a mentor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be likable and agreeable, aggressive women aren’t easy to promote even if they are the most competent and highest potential. Women who are tough to work with don’t get promoted as easily as men with exactly the same demeanor.

Sad but absolutely true.

This. Unfortunately you have to brown nose the leadership team. You have to stroke their egos so that they look at you as someone who they can trust. They don't want people who challenge them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the poster above, it’s not about your work it’s about who you know. Make friends and find mentors (women mentors who are accomplished and know people). Sure be good at your job but if no one knows it, you won’t get anywhere. I’m am in my mid thirties and SES and it’s solely due to my relationships with my mentors.

How do you get mentors/sponsors? NP and I’ve all but given up on my current workplace as no one seems to think I’m worth investing in (including my supervisors!). I tried for a long time to be visible and eager and no one could be bothered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the poster above, it’s not about your work it’s about who you know. Make friends and find mentors (women mentors who are accomplished and know people). Sure be good at your job but if no one knows it, you won’t get anywhere. I’m am in my mid thirties and SES and it’s solely due to my relationships with my mentors.

How do you get mentors/sponsors? NP and I’ve all but given up on my current workplace as no one seems to think I’m worth investing in (including my supervisors!). I tried for a long time to be visible and eager and no one could be bothered.

Then it's time to find another job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the poster above, it’s not about your work it’s about who you know. Make friends and find mentors (women mentors who are accomplished and know people). Sure be good at your job but if no one knows it, you won’t get anywhere. I’m am in my mid thirties and SES and it’s solely due to my relationships with my mentors.

How do you get mentors/sponsors? NP and I’ve all but given up on my current workplace as no one seems to think I’m worth investing in (including my supervisors!). I tried for a long time to be visible and eager and no one could be bothered.

In a healthy workplace, there are always people who love to mentor or find affinity in more recent hires.

If you aren't finding that in your workplace, it's either because it's not a very healthy workplace or you are not what they are looking for. Either way, time to move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the poster above, it’s not about your work it’s about who you know. Make friends and find mentors (women mentors who are accomplished and know people). Sure be good at your job but if no one knows it, you won’t get anywhere. I’m am in my mid thirties and SES and it’s solely due to my relationships with my mentors.

How do you get mentors/sponsors? NP and I’ve all but given up on my current workplace as no one seems to think I’m worth investing in (including my supervisors!). I tried for a long time to be visible and eager and no one could be bothered.

Sorry, it’s hard because they want mentee to either look like them (white pudgy middle manager), something aspire to (tall athletic white male), or attractive female. They spent a lot of time with you and look for a pleasant exchange.

[Anonymous]

OK, you've gotten some good advice and some bad advice.

A couple of small things: 1.) Keep a list of achievements and any praise you've received. Use it at review/promotion time to remind your boss of your value.

2.) Raise your hand for speaking/travel opportunities.

3.) Do NOT volunteer to take on extra work. If you're doing extra work, you should be paid for it.

4.) Agree with others -- just be really excellent at the job you have now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make your career being a stay at home mother.

PP was perhaps being facetious but this actually worked for me - after a long career gap, I came back ready to work. I’ve advanced farther in my career than I would have had I stayed. That’s me - I’m sure others are be doing even better because they remained in the workforce. just saying that, for me, I would have parked in my job and mommy-tracked and then stayed after the kids were raised.

Know who you are and play to your strengths. If you want to be home for awhile, don’t think that in doing so you’re tanking your career. Think of it as a sabbatical. be intentional in how you spend your time.

[Anonymous]

I am male and actually was involved in NOW at my big 4 firm. Network of Women. I had five assigned women to me. None worked for me. None I did direct reviews for but I would meet one in one 4-6 times a year and more as needed

It was exhausting. Divorce, still born child, death of parent, passed over promotion, husbands who don’t chip in. The more you do it the more they open up. A lot of issues holding people back is not actual job.

But rewarding. One year with my advice, and me working my magic behind the scene and lots of coaching got all four women promoted

Real mentoring is time consuming. Most people don’t deserve it and the ones who do often don’t listen

I still have one person I mentor who is a man and none are my staff or coworkers. Then again if they work for me I can just promote and be weird mentoring people who don’t work for me in my smaller company.

But really I had no mentor you really don’t need one. A good spouse, good friend can do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am male and actually was involved in NOW at my big 4 firm. Network of Women. I had five assigned women to me. None worked for me. None I did direct reviews for but I would meet one in one 4-6 times a year and more as needed

It was exhausting. Divorce, still born child, death of parent, passed over promotion, husbands who don’t chip in. The more you do it the more they open up. A lot of issues holding people back is not actual job.

But rewarding. One year with my advice, and me working my magic behind the scene and lots of coaching got all four women promoted

Real mentoring is time consuming. Most people don’t deserve it and the ones who do often don’t listen

I still have one person I mentor who is a man and none are my staff or coworkers. Then again if they work for me I can just promote and be weird mentoring people who don’t work for me in my smaller company.

But really I had no mentor you really don’t need one. A good spouse, good friend can do it.

Well I’m curious now. What kind of advice were you giving that worked out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the poster above, it’s not about your work it’s about who you know. Make friends and find mentors (women mentors who are accomplished and know people). Sure be good at your job but if no one knows it, you won’t get anywhere. I’m am in my mid thirties and SES and it’s solely due to my relationships with my mentors.

This. Find powerful people, get them to trust you, and you'll move up. Leaders look good when their mentees succeed, so there's a lot of incentive to find and build talent.

[Anonymous]

On the personal front — Have a supportive spouse (if you get married). Don’t have kids.

Professionally - learn to network effectively in your industry. Top job opportunities happen a lot through networking, even if there is a formal process. Become a good communicator if you are not already one. Be good at your job. Work hard and pay attention to details. Have a good attitude and pay attention when you get feedback.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am male and actually was involved in NOW at my big 4 firm. Network of Women. I had five assigned women to me. None worked for me. None I did direct reviews for but I would meet one in one 4-6 times a year and more as needed

It was exhausting. Divorce, still born child, death of parent, passed over promotion, husbands who don’t chip in. The more you do it the more they open up. A lot of issues holding people back is not actual job.

But rewarding. One year with my advice, and me working my magic behind the scene and lots of coaching got all four women promoted

Real mentoring is time consuming. Most people don’t deserve it and the ones who do often don’t listen

I still have one person I mentor who is a man and none are my staff or coworkers. Then again if they work for me I can just promote and be weird mentoring people who don’t work for me in my smaller company.

But really I had no mentor you really don’t need one. A good spouse, good friend can do it.

But (aside from the husband that doesn't chip in) all of these are everyday life events that happen to men too.

[Anonymous]

Know when to fold em. To be honest, and this sounds crazy, but sometimes it’s best to leave when things are going great in a high level position. Get yourself a bit head of the curve because good times come on phases.