mad - kid in kindergarten has late birthday

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it op. My late-August birthday girl was called a baby and told she belonged in pre-k because she was still 5 in the late spring of her kindergarten year, by the 7 year olds in the class. Blatant red-shirting skews the dynamics.

You sent a 4 year old to kindergarten?

In VA, as long as they are 5 by the end of September, yes you send 4 year olds to Kindergarten.

This is only an issue when parents hold back their kids for ridiculous reasons and then you have that kid next to a 7 year old.

So the rules are good when they allow 4 year olds but not 6 year olds to start? Who makes the rules, not you, correct?

You’re a fool or are being purposely obtuse. The rules are good when they ensure that (absent a legitimately documented intellectual need- which is unfortunately far too easy for the well off to fabricate) children attend the actual grade which the state/school district has deemed appropriate for their age range so that young children are in classes with and evaluated against their actual peers.

The rules are bad when they allow (usually wealthy and entitled) parents to enroll their neurotypical child in a class 1-2 years below the grade level the state has designated appropriate for their age so that they can have an unfair academic/athletic /social advantage hence throwing off the classroom dynamic, average performance level and unfairly penalizing all of the children whose parents actually follow the recommended guidelines.

So what are you doing to change the rules at your school if they are sooo bad? Arguing here is pointless. I'm not the fool whining online about a problem I'm not even trying to solve.

I’m not whining or trying to change the flawed system- my kids are doing just fine. I’m just pointing out that no one is buying pp’s claim that sending a 7 year old to kindergarten is objectively/morally neutral or the same as sending a 4 year old turning 5 in September (which is actually the appropriate designated age age) and no one is impressed by their inappropriately aged kindergarten child out performing children 1+ years younger than them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, a LOT of people redshirted young kids during Covid and I don’t blame anyone for doing what they thought was best for their kid. Others make their choice for a variety of other reasons.

Current kindergarteners were toddlers during COVID, school COVID closures have nothing to do with those redshirting choices.

That said, it's even odds that he got held back for developmental/behavioral/medical reasons, and not just parent choice. No way to know unless the parents have told you, so seems premature to be angry over it.

Not necessarily, a lot of those toddlers missed out on normal preschool or day care experiences and haven't had the social opportunities that the kids before them had. I'm not mad about it.

That's ridiculous, public schools in the DMV have been back in person for over 2 years, private schools and daycares/preschools for even longer. A 6.5 year old could have had started public pre-K4 at 4.5 and done a year before kindergarten, more if you're talking about private. That's no different than many, many kids that started kindergarten before COVID.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just wait until they are all teens and your daughter is 16-17 and the boys are 19 to 20 year old men.

Even this redshirted kid, who is on the older end for public school, will only turn 19 within in the last few months of HS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, a LOT of people redshirted young kids during Covid and I don’t blame anyone for doing what they thought was best for their kid. Others make their choice for a variety of other reasons.

Current kindergarteners were toddlers during COVID, school COVID closures have nothing to do with those redshirting choices.

That said, it's even odds that he got held back for developmental/behavioral/medical reasons, and not just parent choice. No way to know unless the parents have told you, so seems premature to be angry over it.

Not necessarily, a lot of those toddlers missed out on normal preschool or day care experiences and haven't had the social opportunities that the kids before them had. I'm not mad about it.

Here's the problem with the COVID argument:

All kids who were toddlers/PK age during COVID experienced that. Redshirting for COVID thus makes no sense and is actually an argument against redshirting -- it's better for these kids who had this weird experience at the same time to enter school as a cohort and deal with the that weirdness together.

If you redshirt a kid who missed out on a normal PK or daycare experience during Covid, what are you doing? You are putting an older kid with a social deficiency into a classroom of younger kids who don't share that deficiency, because they were able to attend PK after Covid and the most severe Covid restrictions were over. Who does that help? Not the older kid who will now be expected to acclimate to this classroom of kids who are technically less mature but also more socially adapted. And not the younger kids who now have a bigger, older kid in their midst who might struggle more than they do with social skills. It's a lose-lose.

As is often the case, redshirting like this is designed to afford one kid a small advantage and instead just winds up screwing up whole classroom dynamics and making everything a little bit worse for a bunch of kids.

Honestly, just sent your kid on time, absent extenuating circumstances. Unless you've got a doctor or a teacher saying "they aren't ready," they probably are, even if they are on the young side or had a weird preschool experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, a LOT of people redshirted young kids during Covid and I don’t blame anyone for doing what they thought was best for their kid. Others make their choice for a variety of other reasons.

Current kindergarteners were toddlers during COVID, school COVID closures have nothing to do with those redshirting choices.

That said, it's even odds that he got held back for developmental/behavioral/medical reasons, and not just parent choice. No way to know unless the parents have told you, so seems premature to be angry over it.

Not necessarily, a lot of those toddlers missed out on normal preschool or day care experiences and haven't had the social opportunities that the kids before them had. I'm not mad about it.

Here's the problem with the COVID argument:

All kids who were toddlers/PK age during COVID experienced that. Redshirting for COVID thus makes no sense and is actually an argument against redshirting -- it's better for these kids who had this weird experience at the same time to enter school as a cohort and deal with the that weirdness together.

If you redshirt a kid who missed out on a normal PK or daycare experience during Covid, what are you doing? You are putting an older kid with a social deficiency into a classroom of younger kids who don't share that deficiency, because they were able to attend PK after Covid and the most severe Covid restrictions were over. Who does that help? Not the older kid who will now be expected to acclimate to this classroom of kids who are technically less mature but also more socially adapted. And not the younger kids who now have a bigger, older kid in their midst who might struggle more than they do with social skills. It's a lose-lose.

As is often the case, redshirting like this is designed to afford one kid a small advantage and instead just winds up screwing up whole classroom dynamics and making everything a little bit worse for a bunch of kids.

Honestly, just sent your kid on time, absent extenuating circumstances. Unless you've got a doctor or a teacher saying "they aren't ready," they probably are, even if they are on the young side or had a weird preschool experience.

You realize most of the parents have talked to doctors and teachers already about the best course of action? People are going to do what's best for their kid, not yours. If your kid is only in kindergarten you have a lot to learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, a LOT of people redshirted young kids during Covid and I don’t blame anyone for doing what they thought was best for their kid. Others make their choice for a variety of other reasons.

Current kindergarteners were toddlers during COVID, school COVID closures have nothing to do with those redshirting choices.

That said, it's even odds that he got held back for developmental/behavioral/medical reasons, and not just parent choice. No way to know unless the parents have told you, so seems premature to be angry over it.

Not necessarily, a lot of those toddlers missed out on normal preschool or day care experiences and haven't had the social opportunities that the kids before them had. I'm not mad about it.

That's ridiculous, public schools in the DMV have been back in person for over 2 years, private schools and daycares/preschools for even longer. A 6.5 year old could have had started public pre-K4 at 4.5 and done a year before kindergarten, more if you're talking about private. That's no different than many, many kids that started kindergarten before COVID.

Well I guess you have it all figured out and won't be seeing any redshirted kids. Just offering reasons why, but feel free to reject them and be shocked at the reality.

[Anonymous]

I think there is a chance our school admission officer will ask us to enroll our son (March birthday) in PK instead of K. It’s a private school and his older sibling attends. Son is just a little behind especially when compared to older girls in the same class. I don’t want to, but parents don’t always have a choice. My son has zero behavioral issues and has never been violent. He is not as verbal as many of the private school kids and does not like to draw and write.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, a LOT of people redshirted young kids during Covid and I don’t blame anyone for doing what they thought was best for their kid. Others make their choice for a variety of other reasons.

Current kindergarteners were toddlers during COVID, school COVID closures have nothing to do with those redshirting choices.

That said, it's even odds that he got held back for developmental/behavioral/medical reasons, and not just parent choice. No way to know unless the parents have told you, so seems premature to be angry over it.

Not necessarily, a lot of those toddlers missed out on normal preschool or day care experiences and haven't had the social opportunities that the kids before them had. I'm not mad about it.

Here's the problem with the COVID argument:

All kids who were toddlers/PK age during COVID experienced that. Redshirting for COVID thus makes no sense and is actually an argument against redshirting -- it's better for these kids who had this weird experience at the same time to enter school as a cohort and deal with the that weirdness together.

If you redshirt a kid who missed out on a normal PK or daycare experience during Covid, what are you doing? You are putting an older kid with a social deficiency into a classroom of younger kids who don't share that deficiency, because they were able to attend PK after Covid and the most severe Covid restrictions were over. Who does that help? Not the older kid who will now be expected to acclimate to this classroom of kids who are technically less mature but also more socially adapted. And not the younger kids who now have a bigger, older kid in their midst who might struggle more than they do with social skills. It's a lose-lose.

As is often the case, redshirting like this is designed to afford one kid a small advantage and instead just winds up screwing up whole classroom dynamics and making everything a little bit worse for a bunch of kids.

Honestly, just sent your kid on time, absent extenuating circumstances. Unless you've got a doctor or a teacher saying "they aren't ready," they probably are, even if they are on the young side or had a weird preschool experience.

You realize most of the parents have talked to doctors and teachers already about the best course of action? People are going to do what's best for their kid, not yours. If your kid is only in kindergarten you have a lot to learn.

I was responding to the comments from people saying that a lot of currently redshirted kids were redshirted due to Covid. Not because a teacher or a doctor suggested it, but simply because they didn't want to send their kid to kindergarten in a mask, or their kid missed out on normal preschool due to Covid. So actually I'm talking specifically about people who are making a personal judgment call, not a choice based on consultations with teachers and doctors.

And my whole points is that if this is your reasoning, it's not actually best for your kid. The best thing for your kid would be to send them to school with their age cohort who had the same weird COVID experience in their toddler/preschool years. If COVID impacted social development for these kids, and I think it very well may have, then it actually makes sense to keep them together and address those issues as a group.

Redshirting in this sort of situation is misguided. It's this belief that simply more time in preschool or at home will address a deficiency and make your kid "on target." But the truth is that kindergarten is actually already designed to address a lot of those deficiencies, that's the whole point. All you are doing is delaying your child's access to tools that will help them get back on track, and you're doing it in a way that is disruptive for other kids too.

Also my kids are much older than kindergarten. I'm speaking from extensive experience working with ECE kids and as a parent to two kids, one of whom had developmental delays and has ADHD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it op. My late-August birthday girl was called a baby and told she belonged in pre-k because she was still 5 in the late spring of her kindergarten year, by the 7 year olds in the class. Blatant red-shirting skews the dynamics.

You sent a 4 year old to kindergarten?

In VA, as long as they are 5 by the end of September, yes you send 4 year olds to Kindergarten.

This is only an issue when parents hold back their kids for ridiculous reasons and then you have that kid next to a 7 year old.

I’m in NY, which is the only state left with a 12/31 cutoff. Every other state is between august and end of September. Most of the private schools in my are 8/31 cutoffs. My kids have mid September (ds) and mid November bdays (dd.)

being on the younger side of the class definitely didn’t benefit my son. He just turned 5 and is currently in a transitional kindergarten program for kids with sept-December birthdays. Not sure what we’ll do with our daughter - i personally feel November is ridiculously young to send to kindergarten at 4 but she is doing fine in her toddler class despite being the very youngest. It’s such a child based decision OP. Turning 7 April of kindergarten is really an outlier and probably had a very valid reason

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, a LOT of people redshirted young kids during Covid and I don’t blame anyone for doing what they thought was best for their kid. Others make their choice for a variety of other reasons.

Current kindergarteners were toddlers during COVID, school COVID closures have nothing to do with those redshirting choices.

That said, it's even odds that he got held back for developmental/behavioral/medical reasons, and not just parent choice. No way to know unless the parents have told you, so seems premature to be angry over it.

Not necessarily, a lot of those toddlers missed out on normal preschool or day care experiences and haven't had the social opportunities that the kids before them had. I'm not mad about it.

That's ridiculous, public schools in the DMV have been back in person for over 2 years, private schools and daycares/preschools for even longer. A 6.5 year old could have had started public pre-K4 at 4.5 and done a year before kindergarten, more if you're talking about private. That's no different than many, many kids that started kindergarten before COVID.

Well I guess you have it all figured out and won't be seeing any redshirted kids. Just offering reasons why, but feel free to reject them and be shocked at the reality.

We're in DC where redshirting is almost non-existent and parents are happy for their two free years of public pre-K. And my kids are past kindergarten at this point. They are the ages where they had to do the critical foundational years virtually, and we'll be seeing the impacts of COVID closures for the rest of their educational careers. PP is absolutely correct that it benefits the individual child and the entire grade cohort to deal with post-COVID issues together. Since COVID, teachers modify classroom expectations and schools throw additional resources at grades that need unique academic and/or socioemotional supports. Unless a family stuck with full COVID isolation for years, their kids are not in a different position than every other kid entering school that year. Maybe it's different in the suburbs, but 4-6 year olds got back to "normal" post-COVID life as soon as the restrictions lifted. Out of current elementary schoolers, it's the 7-10 year olds that missed key emotional development windows and early academics and are still struggling to catch up.

[Anonymous]

All of my kids are young for their grades, my oldest didn’t turn 5 until 6 weeks into K, but they’re all fine. And I don’t care how old other kids are as long as they are nice enough kids.

[Anonymous]

I only think this should be an option for summer birthdays. There should be a sliding scale where June - August can be held back or sent forward. September should always be held back IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of my kids are young for their grades, my oldest didn’t turn 5 until 6 weeks into K, but they’re all fine. And I don’t care how old other kids are as long as they are nice enough kids.

+1

My kids were all sent on time and range from younger-older in grade, as far as birthdays go. I don’t care what other parents do or when they send their kids- just hope all are reasonably nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it op. My late-August birthday girl was called a baby and told she belonged in pre-k because she was still 5 in the late spring of her kindergarten year, by the 7 year olds in the class. Blatant red-shirting skews the dynamics.

You sent a 4 year old to kindergarten?

In VA, as long as they are 5 by the end of September, yes you send 4 year olds to Kindergarten.

This is only an issue when parents hold back their kids for ridiculous reasons and then you have that kid next to a 7 year old.

So the rules are good when they allow 4 year olds but not 6 year olds to start? Who makes the rules, not you, correct?

You’re a fool or are being purposely obtuse. The rules are good when they ensure that (absent a legitimately documented intellectual need- which is unfortunately far too easy for the well off to fabricate) children attend the actual grade which the state/school district has deemed appropriate for their age range so that young children are in classes with and evaluated against their actual peers.

The rules are bad when they allow (usually wealthy and entitled) parents to enroll their neurotypical child in a class 1-2 years below the grade level the state has designated appropriate for their age so that they can have an unfair academic/athletic /social advantage hence throwing off the classroom dynamic, average performance level and unfairly penalizing all of the children whose parents actually follow the recommended guidelines.

So what are you doing to change the rules at your school if they are sooo bad? Arguing here is pointless. I'm not the fool whining online about a problem I'm not even trying to solve.

I’m not whining or trying to change the flawed system- my kids are doing just fine. I’m just pointing out that no one is buying pp’s claim that sending a 7 year old to kindergarten is objectively/morally neutral or the same as sending a 4 year old turning 5 in September (which is actually the appropriate designated age age) and no one is impressed by their inappropriately aged kindergarten child out performing children 1+ years younger than them.

the kid isn't even 7. It's a 6 year old. By my calendar it's only October, not April.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, a LOT of people redshirted young kids during Covid and I don’t blame anyone for doing what they thought was best for their kid. Others make their choice for a variety of other reasons.

Current kindergarteners were toddlers during COVID, school COVID closures have nothing to do with those redshirting choices.

That said, it's even odds that he got held back for developmental/behavioral/medical reasons, and not just parent choice. No way to know unless the parents have told you, so seems premature to be angry over it.

Not necessarily, a lot of those toddlers missed out on normal preschool or day care experiences and haven't had the social opportunities that the kids before them had. I'm not mad about it.

That's ridiculous, public schools in the DMV have been back in person for over 2 years, private schools and daycares/preschools for even longer. A 6.5 year old could have had started public pre-K4 at 4.5 and done a year before kindergarten, more if you're talking about private. That's no different than many, many kids that started kindergarten before COVID.

Well I guess you have it all figured out and won't be seeing any redshirted kids. Just offering reasons why, but feel free to reject them and be shocked at the reality.

We're in DC where redshirting is almost non-existent and parents are happy for their two free years of public pre-K. And my kids are past kindergarten at this point. They are the ages where they had to do the critical foundational years virtually, and we'll be seeing the impacts of COVID closures for the rest of their educational careers. PP is absolutely correct that it benefits the individual child and the entire grade cohort to deal with post-COVID issues together. Since COVID, teachers modify classroom expectations and schools throw additional resources at grades that need unique academic and/or socioemotional supports. Unless a family stuck with full COVID isolation for years, their kids are not in a different position than every other kid entering school that year. Maybe it's different in the suburbs, but 4-6 year olds got back to "normal" post-COVID life as soon as the restrictions lifted. Out of current elementary schoolers, it's the 7-10 year olds that missed key emotional development windows and early academics and are still struggling to catch up.

I don't understand your point. People are redshirting their kids. You don't have to agree with, understand, or appreciate the reasons. It's just a fact.