The deflated grading is just exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The point of going to a top 3 school is to get a demanding, rigorous education.

If you’re not happy with it, switch to public or Maret or field or someplace like that.

Was your child admitted early, like in kindergarten or elementary? Maybe it’s not the right fit.

Bs are one thing by getting multiple scores like 75 or 65 could be a sign your kid shouldn’t be of the school.

I tire The people who get their kids into super progress schools and then complain that they are too rigorous.

Oh please, not the OP but you are full of it. And, your reading comprehension is lacking. OP said what class averages were really low. Her child is doing much better than the lower average. The OP takes issue with the excessively unnecessary grind combined with the harsh and demoralizing grading. I agree with OP, as someone who has three kids at a big three, that the grade deflation is ridiculous and unnecessary. The kids should be graded fairly. A work deserves an A. Stupid to force a curve or grade distribution, doesn't add anything to the rigor or what the kids are learning. Before you say well go to another school, options are bleak. It shouldn't be all or nothing but it is. If you want your child to get a certain kind of education that there are tradeoffs. Doesn't mean we as parents have to be happy with the bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The point of going to a top 3 school is to get a demanding, rigorous education.

If you’re not happy with it, switch to public or Maret or field or someplace like that.

Was your child admitted early, like in kindergarten or elementary? Maybe it’s not the right fit.

Bs are one thing by getting multiple scores like 75 or 65 could be a sign your kid shouldn’t be of the school.

I tire The people who get their kids into super progress schools and then complain that they are too rigorous.

Oh please, not the OP but you are full of it. And, your reading comprehension is lacking. OP said what class averages were really low. Her child is doing much better than the lower average. The OP takes issue with the excessively unnecessary grind combined with the harsh and demoralizing grading. I agree with OP, as someone who has three kids at a big three, that the grade deflation is ridiculous and unnecessary. The kids should be graded fairly. A work deserves an A. Stupid to force a curve or grade distribution, doesn't add anything to the rigor or what the kids are learning. Before you say well go to another school, options are bleak. It shouldn't be all or nothing but it is. If you want your child to get a certain kind of education that there are tradeoffs. Doesn't mean we as parents have to be happy with the bad.

This exactly. We want the rigor, we are fine with the 3-4 hours of homework.
What we take issue with is making that the standard and then forcing the cohort into some grading curve where only 2 kids get an A.
It's incredibly bad for mental health to tell a disciplined kid--yes--do these 4 hours of homework nightly, master the material and then--here is your B+ because there can only be 2 A's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is he there OP? If you live near decent public schools, send him there.

OP here. We had some long and complex conversations about this. Kid ultimately decided to stay as she (student is a girl) has been there for 5 years and all friends are there. It's not socially ideal to transfer for the last 2 years of high school plus the curriculums don't align all that well. Plus the private transcript is all wonky with limited APs and honors, imperfect grades, etc. it seemed better to keep going (again, mainly because that is what the kid wants for friendship reasons). If kid was younger and I knew what I know now I would transfer her. I actually regret sending her there and consider it a pretty big parenting misstep--it was her idea but I agreed to it, helped her apply, etc. Our younger kid has stuck with public.

Op don't be so hard on yourself. My parents made the same "mistake." I should have switched high schools, had an awful highschool experience but, you know what, I took away some valuable lessons from both the good and bad and am just fine. Your daughter will be too. And you did what you thought was right. I will say, even having her go abroad for a year may be helpful. Know that this has become vert popular at NCS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The point of going to a top 3 school is to get a demanding, rigorous education.

If you’re not happy with it, switch to public or Maret or field or someplace like that.

Was your child admitted early, like in kindergarten or elementary? Maybe it’s not the right fit.

Bs are one thing by getting multiple scores like 75 or 65 could be a sign your kid shouldn’t be of the school.

I tire The people who get their kids into super progress schools and then complain that they are too rigorous.

Oh please, not the OP but you are full of it. And, your reading comprehension is lacking. OP said what class averages were really low. Her child is doing much better than the lower average. The OP takes issue with the excessively unnecessary grind combined with the harsh and demoralizing grading. I agree with OP, as someone who has three kids at a big three, that the grade deflation is ridiculous and unnecessary. The kids should be graded fairly. A work deserves an A. Stupid to force a curve or grade distribution, doesn't add anything to the rigor or what the kids are learning. Before you say well go to another school, options are bleak. It shouldn't be all or nothing but it is. If you want your child to get a certain kind of education that there are tradeoffs. Doesn't mean we as parents have to be happy with the bad.

Here's a crazy question- why did you choose to send your kid to a school notorious for the grind and grade deflation? There are dozens of privates in the area that offer comparable educations minus the misery, but big 3 families somehow see it as a badge of pride. None of these schools make any secret of their culture, but somehow it shifts from a great thing when families apply to a terrible thing when they realize they have a 3 GPA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The point of going to a top 3 school is to get a demanding, rigorous education.

If you’re not happy with it, switch to public or Maret or field or someplace like that.

Was your child admitted early, like in kindergarten or elementary? Maybe it’s not the right fit.

Bs are one thing by getting multiple scores like 75 or 65 could be a sign your kid shouldn’t be of the school.

I tire The people who get their kids into super progress schools and then complain that they are too rigorous.

OP here. No, kid was admitted in 9th. Has straight As (some version of them) so far but at such a high cost.
The 65s and 75s are class averages. My kids is above average but still below an A. Will probably eek out As again with a little luck and an immense amount of work.
But the stress getting to that point is so, so high and most peers are not getting As. Playing this game is getting old. Studying for hours and hours
and still getting a B or C on every exam because that is how things are written. When essay exams are graded so that the average is an 82 and only 2 kids get above a 90 (had one of these recently). I guess I get it if a math exam an 82 average. But why grade an essay exam to an 82?
(when your entire cohort can write and has read ALL the material and discussed it in class for weeks, etc).

The problem is that you are expecting your kid to get a public school gpa, probably because he was in public school through eighth. Stop putting that pressure on him. It is fine to get As and Bs at a big three. Aiming for straight As at a big three is unrealistic and ridiculous for most kids. Get over that goal.

yes, but a couple of Bs and a GPA quickly trends down to a 3.5 or thereabouts...
and kids at the 75th percentile or below in the class are increasingly having a hard time getting into decent colleges.

what i don't understand is why the schools don't help out their own kids. They are in charge of the grading. They don't have to grade an essay to an average of an 82 and give half the class a final grade of a straight B or lower And then turn around and wonder why their kids with under a 3.5 can't get into Penn State.

You didn’t understand when you sit your kid to a big three that they have higher academic standards than a public school?

You just seem to want the name of the private school in the education of the private school but without actually having the education record of the private school. The point of the schools is do you have to work really hard and that they are very rigorous. If you didn’t want that for your kid, you should’ve stayed in public. These are hard schools. That’s the point.

There's a difference between "higher academic standards" and assembling a super strong cohort of kids and then structuring the grading so that only a tiny percentage of this cohort (that you took because they were at the very top of their respective cohorts elsewhere) is able to get As. We never knew that was what we were in for. My kid was floundering in DCPS--getting high As (lending the year with 98s and 99s in the top classes they offered) and she really wanted to move. We're not from DC but went to "college prep" schools elsewhere. Sure, you had to work hard; 3-4 hours of homework per night was normal. But there wasn't any gatekeeping of good grades. It was possible to get strong grades and they were fine with doling them out, even if 1/2 the class met this standard. They weren't creating tests so the average is a 70. I think what is so demoralizing in our experience here is that a kid give 200%, know the material backwards and forwards (eventually getting a 5 on the AP exam) and still routinely get a B in the class.

+1 This makes perect sense and completely agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have zero sympathy for rich people who spend tens of thousands a year to send their kids to private schools because they think they’re either too good for public schools or are afraid of brown, black or poor people and because they’re obsessed with getting their kids into colleges that impress their friends and then complain about how hard their kid has it.

They don’t. You don’t. Cry me a friggin River.

Gah prejudiced and clueless much? My kids class at big 3 is 50 percent AA--other 5o percent white, Asian, other. No real socio economic diversity but a ton of racial diversity. And I can only speak for myself but we don't think we are too good for public schools we just know that ours our ranked some of the worst in the nation soooooo.....

[Anonymous]

The real question is "why is grade inflation so rampant at most schools?"

My kid goes to a similar (boarding) school with no inflation and "real" grades. The grading here in the schools is a joke--just read all the parents posting about 10 APs and GPAs of 4.5 or whatever. Some schools have more than 50% of their kids with As. The bell curve is dead.

[Anonymous]

FWIW, there are kids with all As. I know them IRL. My kid was close to all As (two b pluses) and I know his friends who had higher averages. So there are kids out there, you just don't know them personally. Anecdotally, I know of high A kids at every private I can think of, though def some schools have more than others. Yes, they are all cum laude-type kids who work extremely hard and love their classes and teachers. They are not the partying group. They study a lot but seem pretty happy (though they are also extremely bright). Some kids would never strive for this or if they did, would be unhappy and that maybe sounds like your kid. My second kid has all As and is still in school but likely will not when she graduates but that is okay. She has a different path.

FWIW, I would try to take the pressure off. They are all going to get into college. It doesn't sound like your kid is happy on this train. Why does she choose to study so much when it is making her miserable? My hunch is college placement. Keep telling her she can be successful wherever she chooses to go. And I don't buy the B and C kids can't get into colleges. I watched them all get into schools they were really excited about at the end of the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, there are kids with all As. I know them IRL. My kid was close to all As (two b pluses) and I know his friends who had higher averages. So there are kids out there, you just don't know them personally. Anecdotally, I know of high A kids at every private I can think of, though def some schools have more than others. Yes, they are all cum laude-type kids who work extremely hard and love their classes and teachers. They are not the partying group. They study a lot but seem pretty happy (though they are also extremely bright). Some kids would never strive for this or if they did, would be unhappy and that maybe sounds like your kid. My second kid has all As and is still in school but likely will not when she graduates but that is okay. She has a different path.

FWIW, I would try to take the pressure off. They are all going to get into college. It doesn't sound like your kid is happy on this train. Why does she choose to study so much when it is making her miserable? My hunch is college placement. Keep telling her she can be successful wherever she chooses to go. And I don't buy the B and C kids can't get into colleges. I watched them all get into schools they were really excited about at the end of the day.

The curve that really makes the A kids stand out is built on the backs of the B and C kids. They are the unsung heroes of the big 3.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The real question is "why is grade inflation so rampant at most schools?"

My kid goes to a similar (boarding) school with no inflation and "real" grades. The grading here in the schools is a joke--just read all the parents posting about 10 APs and GPAs of 4.5 or whatever. Some schools have more than 50% of their kids with As. The bell curve is dead.

There is another thread posting grade distributions of the top LA and NYC private schools showing that 70% of those classes are scoring A- or higher.

Nearly all the top 10 colleges award As to ~50% of the class.

At some point clinging to some rigid grading system appears a bit pointless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The real question is "why is grade inflation so rampant at most schools?"

My kid goes to a similar (boarding) school with no inflation and "real" grades. The grading here in the schools is a joke--just read all the parents posting about 10 APs and GPAs of 4.5 or whatever. Some schools have more than 50% of their kids with As. The bell curve is dead.

There is another thread posting grade distributions of the top LA and NYC private schools showing that 70% of those classes are scoring A- or higher.

Nearly all the top 10 colleges award As to ~50% of the class.

At some point clinging to some rigid grading system appears a bit pointless.

It’s like the academic equivalent of vanity sizing…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The real question is "why is grade inflation so rampant at most schools?"

My kid goes to a similar (boarding) school with no inflation and "real" grades. The grading here in the schools is a joke--just read all the parents posting about 10 APs and GPAs of 4.5 or whatever. Some schools have more than 50% of their kids with As. The bell curve is dead.

There is another thread posting grade distributions of the top LA and NYC private schools showing that 70% of those classes are scoring A- or higher.

Nearly all the top 10 colleges award As to ~50% of the class.

At some point clinging to some rigid grading system appears a bit pointless.

Yes, the schools that follow strict grading (or deflated grading or whatever you want to call it) are getter fewer and fewer.

And as college application numbers continue to rise, it seems like they have less interest (and time) to understand that B's at NCS are the norm for excellent students, that a 3.5 GPA is quite strong, etc.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know why people are giving you a hard time or assuming your child is getting low grades after explaining repeatedly.

I’m with you. It is so frustrating for them to get an 88 on a test, be 10 points above the class average, and sweat out every point on labs, hw, etc hoping to eke out an A-.

And everyone just seems to be crossing their fingers and hoping colleges care that the grading is impossible

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The point of going to a top 3 school is to get a demanding, rigorous education.

If you’re not happy with it, switch to public or Maret or field or someplace like that.

Was your child admitted early, like in kindergarten or elementary? Maybe it’s not the right fit.

Bs are one thing by getting multiple scores like 75 or 65 could be a sign your kid shouldn’t be of the school.

I tire The people who get their kids into super progress schools and then complain that they are too rigorous.

It is harder to get in to Maret vs Sidwell or one of the Cathedral Schools but magically the kid is going to get in to Maret? Why because the kid is going to Sidwell or a Cathedral schools? That is laughable. The Big 3 schools do not take cast off from other Big 3 schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The real question is "why is grade inflation so rampant at most schools?"

My kid goes to a similar (boarding) school with no inflation and "real" grades. The grading here in the schools is a joke--just read all the parents posting about 10 APs and GPAs of 4.5 or whatever. Some schools have more than 50% of their kids with As. The bell curve is dead.

There is another thread posting grade distributions of the top LA and NYC private schools showing that 70% of those classes are scoring A- or higher.

Nearly all the top 10 colleges award As to ~50% of the class.

At some point clinging to some rigid grading system appears a bit pointless.

Yes, the schools that follow strict grading (or deflated grading or whatever you want to call it) are getter fewer and fewer.

And as college application numbers continue to rise, it seems like they have less interest (and time) to understand that B's at NCS are the norm for excellent students, that a 3.5 GPA is quite strong, etc.

I would imagine it is probably the leading cause of student/family stress at these schools and can be fixed in 2 minutes. I honestly doubt any teachers would really care that much if told that you will curve every class and X% get an A, X% A-, X% B+, etc. Teacher does not have to change how they teach or how they score...just implement the curve and done.