People who sign their kids up and then don’t show up

[Anonymous]

I will never forget coaching DS's second grade team and the jackass opposing coach...
We had only 6 kids show up for a 7v7 game. We asked the other coach if they would play with 5v5 or if we could borrow one of their (many) kids. He conceded we could play 5v5, but only if we agreed to "officially forfeit" the game. I mean... sure. I guess. Forfeit to whom? We don't report scores to anyone. But I guess it made him feel better that his 7 year olds got credit for beating a team without enough players...

[Anonymous]

We didn’t show up this past Sat for our daughter‘s fist game. The reason is she has other sports in the morning, and when we signed up for this fall, we didn’t know the game time, and our friend told us that usually the game will be in the later morning or noon or afternoon, so we figured we should be fine. But it turns out now that we will have a lot of conflicts on the upcoming weekends. We have to choose one, it’s tough. Basically the rec soccer will have games on Saturdays, which means you can’t sign up anything else on Saturdays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear all the time on this forum how expensive it is to play youth soccer. Well, this is a big reason why I'm willing to pay more money. When your kid takes the sport seriously, you want the rest of the kids to take it as seriously and be as committed to the team. Unfortunately, the easiest way to do that is play where it costs a lot of money and find like minded teams and players.
Yes, yes I understand this isn't good for the game or inclusive to everyone. But my kid was frustrated that she cared more than her teammates and that's how we knew she was ready to play for a new ($$) team. We spend a lot on traveling but every player is fully committed and shows up to every practice and game.

While I don't take the same approach, I actually agree that if you want to ensure a certain level of commitment, go ahead and spend $$$ to go to leagues with attendance requirements and where people are more focused on that sport.

In first grade, most people are just doing rec sports. They are NOT expensive (especially soccer, the soccer league we signed up for is so cheap it's practically free compared to something like gymnastics or swimming), usually volunteer run, and you just accept a certain level of shenanigans in terms of communication, kids showing up, field assignments, etc. The goal a this age is exposure (for us) not to perfect your game. I also don't see my kid playing soccer past like 2nd or 3rd grade, but I think it's a great sport for learning teamwork, coordination, and endurance, and I think a lot of other parents agree, which is why youth soccer is such a thing.

But yeah, if you are upset that the kids on your child's 6U soccer team are insufficiently dedicated to improving their W-L record, by all means, PLEASE go sign up for some league where missing a game comes with some kind of penalty and no one would dare sign their kid up for another activity that might conflict. Leave the rec leaves to those of us who want it to be kind of relaxed and easy.

Completely agree about rec sports and fun and exposure and not caring about wins and losses. But if someone else is volunteering to teach and supervise your kid, the least parents can do is communicate whether or not your kid will be there.

Yeah, grace and all that, but it’s possible to show basic respect.

Our team uses a app to enable us to mark, which is very efficient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The worst thing about young kid soccer is first-time parents like OP Karen who freak out about everything and can't seem to use common sense.

I once overheard a parent like OP or maybe it was OP complaining loudly that the preteens and teens who are supervising these MSI rec games were always looking at their phones. She did not realize that the kids were on their phones to time the 10 minute intervals and that is how they were trained. They don't get stopwatches so they are using their timers.

I almost said something but I was embarrassed for this loud obnoxious mom because everyone else was rolling their eyes at her or slowing inching away from her. You also don't act like she did BECAUSE THESE ARE ALSO STILL KIDS and they are doing their best.

OP here. That couldn’t be further from me.

I just feel like it’s fair to let the kids have the rest that MSI clearly intends for them to have.

[Anonymous]

I signed my daughter up for recreation soccer through MSI for a different grade. I have still not received any information on her team or the schedule or location for games or practices. I have called and emailed repeatedly but no one responds. She obviously missed the first game but only because I don’t know when or where it was scheduled. I checked the app and it says she hasn’t been assigned to a team. I saw game schedules but she wasn’t listed. Hoping I can get my money back. The lack of communication is so disappointing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The worst thing about young kid soccer is first-time parents like OP Karen who freak out about everything and can't seem to use common sense.

I once overheard a parent like OP or maybe it was OP complaining loudly that the preteens and teens who are supervising these MSI rec games were always looking at their phones. She did not realize that the kids were on their phones to time the 10 minute intervals and that is how they were trained. They don't get stopwatches so they are using their timers.

I almost said something but I was embarrassed for this loud obnoxious mom because everyone else was rolling their eyes at her or slowing inching away from her. You also don't act like she did BECAUSE THESE ARE ALSO STILL KIDS and they are doing their best.

OP here. That couldn’t be further from me.

I just feel like it’s fair to let the kids have the rest that MSI clearly intends for them to have.

OMG OP you still don't get it. That's on the coach. Just tell the coach to play down a girl and give them breaks if your child finds it is too much. She can also ask the coach to sit and rest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I signed my daughter up for recreation soccer through MSI for a different grade. I have still not received any information on her team or the schedule or location for games or practices. I have called and emailed repeatedly but no one responds. She obviously missed the first game but only because I don’t know when or where it was scheduled. I checked the app and it says she hasn’t been assigned to a team. I saw game schedules but she wasn’t listed. Hoping I can get my money back. The lack of communication is so disappointing.

There's a new director and this type of thing should not be happening. The previous director FWIW ran a shitshow of an office. I really like the group's mission and the volunteer coaches, board and other people affiliated with it but that was a really big weak point and it started at the top. I would reach out and cc the director. You should have been told if they could not find a team for your child and your money should have been refunded by now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they're 6 years old and it's not a big deal. Relax.

My issue is that it isn’t fair to the kids who showed up and played 40 minutes because there weren’t any subs.

Many people have suggested other options. Keep those in mind the next time this happens.

I don't know any kids in 1st grade who would think that is unfair. My child and their friends would be thrilled to play the entire time.

All kids can't arent natural athletes and can do this for 40 minutes. Another reason they may have chosen rec.

[Anonymous]

Our kid has baseball, soccer and flag football. Sometimes the game times conflict. That’s why they take so many kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our kid has baseball, soccer and flag football. Sometimes the game times conflict. That’s why they take so many kids.

When they say play multiple sports they mean to play them over different seasons.

[Anonymous]

I feel like this is really simple. My kids have played rec for years, and I'm currently the coach of my daughter's team. There are some clear basic courtesies on both sides:

1. These kids are playing rec (in OP's case it's 1st graders). There are no stakes - it's for fun! Not a big deal at all to be flexible if one team has more kids, if kids show up late, if kids don't come, etc. The most important thing is to get the players playing, developing a bit, learning to be a good teammate, and having a good time.

2. That said, it's a giant pain when parents don't let you know if their player isn't coming to practice or a game. I send an e-mail every week with details on that week's practice and game and direct parents to the app that the league provides (it's Sports Engine/DC Soccer Club), asking people to please RSVP in the app to let us know how many players will be there so we're not wondering if we'll have enough players at game time. And even with all that, there are STILL multiple parents who don't take two seconds to RSVP for their players so we're left wondering if we'll have a full team, need to borrow players, etc. They tend to not have a problem telling us that the practice is too far away based on the field we could get when signups happened (it's about a 5-10 minute drive for almost everyone) or with making other requests based on the needs of their individual players. I've asked multiple times in multiple ways to see if anyone wants to volunteer to be a team manager so that I don't have to deal with all the logistics in addition to being the coach and the response is crickets.

All this to say, I understand the frustration when you think your kid is joining a full team and there's never enough players to play, even at first grade. I also get that it's supposed to be for fun and it's really not a big deal when people can't come. But please just take a minute to let people know so that we don't have to wait around and wonder. We're volunteers, we usually have multiple kids with multiple sports that we're juggling, we all work too, and no, you're not busier or more important than anyone else...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kid has baseball, soccer and flag football. Sometimes the game times conflict. That’s why they take so many kids.

When they say play multiple sports they mean to play them over different seasons.

Not really. Rec is one day a week practice and a very short game. My kids always played multiple rec sports per season

[Anonymous]

This thread is why families choose travel at a younger age and why rec programs have a hard time getting coaches.

[Anonymous]

Try TEAM SNAP for planning - we've played in two leagues now that have used it.

[Anonymous]

When I was a rec coach for MSI and our team didn't have enough players for two 4v4 games, the other teams were usually chill enough for one or both games to be 3v3. Parents flaking sucks, but it's not really that big a deal.