People who sign their kids up and then don’t show up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would someone do this? We have a rec MSI 1st grade girls team. 14 girls signed up, so it was a full team. Only 9 showed up for the game today, so we had no subs. Our girls had to play the entire game, so they were exhausted. They were real troopers, but it’s just annoying that people would sign their kid up and then just bail.

Hoping this isn’t a trend throughout the season. I know it’s only little kid rec, but it isn’t fair to the kids who show up and then have to play 40 minutes of soccer. The other team didn’t have that issue, so they were much more energized.

OP, MSI REC for first grade is 4v4. Most times, they divide it into two teams of 4v4. It’s also four quarters of 10 minutes each per game.

You having 9 players show up is much more than adequate. When my DD was at that age, she and all of her teammates wanted to play the entire game and hated to be substituted out of the game. They all had plenty of energy to run around on the small-sided field.

I can only appreciate/understand your concern if only 2-3 players showed up. But this is on the volunteer coach and team manager to properly communicate with all the parents to make sure they know when to show up for games/practices.

The communication was more than adequate. People just didn’t show up. It’s rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they're 6 years old and it's not a big deal. Relax.

My issue is that it isn’t fair to the kids who showed up and played 40 minutes because there weren’t any subs.

Many people have suggested other options. Keep those in mind the next time this happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would someone do this? We have a rec MSI 1st grade girls team. 14 girls signed up, so it was a full team. Only 9 showed up for the game today, so we had no subs. Our girls had to play the entire game, so they were exhausted. They were real troopers, but it’s just annoying that people would sign their kid up and then just bail.

Hoping this isn’t a trend throughout the season. I know it’s only little kid rec, but it isn’t fair to the kids who show up and then have to play 40 minutes of soccer. The other team didn’t have that issue, so they were much more energized.

OP, MSI REC for first grade is 4v4. Most times, they divide it into two teams of 4v4. It’s also four quarters of 10 minutes each per game.

You having 9 players show up is much more than adequate. When my DD was at that age, she and all of her teammates wanted to play the entire game and hated to be substituted out of the game. They all had plenty of energy to run around on the small-sided field.

I can only appreciate/understand your concern if only 2-3 players showed up. But this is on the volunteer coach and team manager to properly communicate with all the parents to make sure they know when to show up for games/practices.

The communication was more than adequate. People just didn’t show up. It’s rude.

Several of the teams my kids have played on have used TeamSnap where players can enter their availability, it allows the coaches to plan accordingly. Try that, it's free.

[Anonymous]

The worst thing about young kid soccer is first-time parents like OP Karen who freak out about everything and can't seem to use common sense.

I once overheard a parent like OP or maybe it was OP complaining loudly that the preteens and teens who are supervising these MSI rec games were always looking at their phones. She did not realize that the kids were on their phones to time the 10 minute intervals and that is how they were trained. They don't get stopwatches so they are using their timers.

I almost said something but I was embarrassed for this loud obnoxious mom because everyone else was rolling their eyes at her or slowing inching away from her. You also don't act like she did BECAUSE THESE ARE ALSO STILL KIDS and they are doing their best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they're 6 years old and it's not a big deal. Relax.

My issue is that it isn’t fair to the kids who showed up and played 40 minutes because there weren’t any subs.

Many people have suggested other options. Keep those in mind the next time this happens.

I don't know any kids in 1st grade who would think that is unfair. My child and their friends would be thrilled to play the entire time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The worst thing about young kid soccer is first-time parents like OP Karen who freak out about everything and can't seem to use common sense.

I once overheard a parent like OP or maybe it was OP complaining loudly that the preteens and teens who are supervising these MSI rec games were always looking at their phones. She did not realize that the kids were on their phones to time the 10 minute intervals and that is how they were trained. They don't get stopwatches so they are using their timers.

I almost said something but I was embarrassed for this loud obnoxious mom because everyone else was rolling their eyes at her or slowing inching away from her. You also don't act like she did BECAUSE THESE ARE ALSO STILL KIDS and they are doing their best.

LOL. Too funny and I completely agree. First Grade Rec Soccer parents thinks their kid is playing in the World Cup.

[Anonymous]

Unless it is hot, it should not be an issue for first graders to play 40 minutes of soccer. My son would have loved that - his team was oversubscribed and there was too much bench time. I get that you would be upset if there were not enough kids to play, but it is rec and people have other life obligations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they're 6 years old and it's not a big deal. Relax.

My issue is that it isn’t fair to the kids who showed up and played 40 minutes because there weren’t any subs.

Many people have suggested other options. Keep those in mind the next time this happens.

I don't know any kids in 1st grade who would think that is unfair. My child and their friends would be thrilled to play the entire time.

+1000. At that age, DD and a few of her friends thought it was unfair that they all have to have equal playing time. They want to play the entire game rather than sharing with kids that were daydreaming or picking flowers during the game.

[Anonymous]

I think you just have to learn not to get hung up on the no-shows or people who don't give notice, and games and practices need to be planned to accommodate the fact that, yes, this happens.

Also keep in mind that when you have 6 no-shows, that's likely a bit of a fluke and it's not like every one of those families woke up, saw they had soccer, and thought "Eh we don't feel like it and I'm going to intentionally not text the coach to let them know." More likely one or two of those families had actual emergencies that, if you knew what they were, you'd understand both why they didn't show and why they didn't give notice (someone got food poisoning, a car broke down, kids had to be left with grandma last minute and she doesn't know about soccer, etc., stuff happens). One or two are just flighty and forgot they signed up. One remembered but though it was at a different field and by the time they got there and realized their error, it was too late to make it to the right place in time. And one or two woke up, saw they had soccer, and thought "eh we just won't go and I don't feel like texting to let the coach know."

You have to give people grace, especially with ONE game, and assume that a lot of those no shows will be there next week with apologies. You also might consider that one of these days, you'll be the one with food poisoning or car trouble or who writes the wrong field or the wrong day down, or signs up in July for something you've totally spaced about by September. It happens. I hope people give you grace then too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with OP, this is so annoying. Yes, it doesn't matter per se but when the same families keep doing it, it makes you wonder why they bothered signing up their kid in the first place.

Like someone mentioned...you have to sign up early or risk being waitlisted. Then you find out you have a conflict, so you say to yourself...6 year old soccer is only $200, I'll eat that cost and do plan B. Life happens.

[Anonymous]

A few things from spending way too much time on the sidelines:

1) At that age, if one team has just enough and the other has lots of subs, have a few kids from Team A play for Team B for half (then pick other kids).
2) As previously mentioned, it's impossible to know what practices/games you'll be able to make when you're only given the schedule days in advance: ASA is particularly bad at this.
3) Few kids is better because the kids actually get to play a lot, and that's key to getting better. DD once played on a lacrosse team with 26 kids, only 10 of whom played at a time. That was a huge waste of time/money.
4) When it's that hot there should be regular water breaks for little kids (there were on Saturday for my 11-year-old, non-rec player). But still, kids who really want to play will be super excited to play the whole game!
5) This is not something that'll get better as the kids get older. From 2nd-5th at least, kids are trying multiple sports and without any set times they can all overlap. Only other option would be for parents to say, "My kid is only playing soccer from now on", but that's not fair to the kid who may actually prefer baseball instead if they had the chance.

[Anonymous]

I hear all the time on this forum how expensive it is to play youth soccer. Well, this is a big reason why I'm willing to pay more money. When your kid takes the sport seriously, you want the rest of the kids to take it as seriously and be as committed to the team. Unfortunately, the easiest way to do that is play where it costs a lot of money and find like minded teams and players.
Yes, yes I understand this isn't good for the game or inclusive to everyone. But my kid was frustrated that she cared more than her teammates and that's how we knew she was ready to play for a new ($$) team. We spend a lot on traveling but every player is fully committed and shows up to every practice and game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear all the time on this forum how expensive it is to play youth soccer. Well, this is a big reason why I'm willing to pay more money. When your kid takes the sport seriously, you want the rest of the kids to take it as seriously and be as committed to the team. Unfortunately, the easiest way to do that is play where it costs a lot of money and find like minded teams and players.
Yes, yes I understand this isn't good for the game or inclusive to everyone. But my kid was frustrated that she cared more than her teammates and that's how we knew she was ready to play for a new ($$) team. We spend a lot on traveling but every player is fully committed and shows up to every practice and game.

While I don't take the same approach, I actually agree that if you want to ensure a certain level of commitment, go ahead and spend $$$ to go to leagues with attendance requirements and where people are more focused on that sport.

In first grade, most people are just doing rec sports. They are NOT expensive (especially soccer, the soccer league we signed up for is so cheap it's practically free compared to something like gymnastics or swimming), usually volunteer run, and you just accept a certain level of shenanigans in terms of communication, kids showing up, field assignments, etc. The goal a this age is exposure (for us) not to perfect your game. I also don't see my kid playing soccer past like 2nd or 3rd grade, but I think it's a great sport for learning teamwork, coordination, and endurance, and I think a lot of other parents agree, which is why youth soccer is such a thing.

But yeah, if you are upset that the kids on your child's 6U soccer team are insufficiently dedicated to improving their W-L record, by all means, PLEASE go sign up for some league where missing a game comes with some kind of penalty and no one would dare sign their kid up for another activity that might conflict. Leave the rec leaves to those of us who want it to be kind of relaxed and easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear all the time on this forum how expensive it is to play youth soccer. Well, this is a big reason why I'm willing to pay more money. When your kid takes the sport seriously, you want the rest of the kids to take it as seriously and be as committed to the team. Unfortunately, the easiest way to do that is play where it costs a lot of money and find like minded teams and players.
Yes, yes I understand this isn't good for the game or inclusive to everyone. But my kid was frustrated that she cared more than her teammates and that's how we knew she was ready to play for a new ($$) team. We spend a lot on traveling but every player is fully committed and shows up to every practice and game.

Youth soccer is cheap. Travel soccer is expensive. OP is not on a travel team. They have a 1st grader in a rec league. It probably cost like $150 of the entire season, plus the cost of a t-shirt and some shin guards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear all the time on this forum how expensive it is to play youth soccer. Well, this is a big reason why I'm willing to pay more money. When your kid takes the sport seriously, you want the rest of the kids to take it as seriously and be as committed to the team. Unfortunately, the easiest way to do that is play where it costs a lot of money and find like minded teams and players.
Yes, yes I understand this isn't good for the game or inclusive to everyone. But my kid was frustrated that she cared more than her teammates and that's how we knew she was ready to play for a new ($$) team. We spend a lot on traveling but every player is fully committed and shows up to every practice and game.

While I don't take the same approach, I actually agree that if you want to ensure a certain level of commitment, go ahead and spend $$$ to go to leagues with attendance requirements and where people are more focused on that sport.

In first grade, most people are just doing rec sports. They are NOT expensive (especially soccer, the soccer league we signed up for is so cheap it's practically free compared to something like gymnastics or swimming), usually volunteer run, and you just accept a certain level of shenanigans in terms of communication, kids showing up, field assignments, etc. The goal a this age is exposure (for us) not to perfect your game. I also don't see my kid playing soccer past like 2nd or 3rd grade, but I think it's a great sport for learning teamwork, coordination, and endurance, and I think a lot of other parents agree, which is why youth soccer is such a thing.

But yeah, if you are upset that the kids on your child's 6U soccer team are insufficiently dedicated to improving their W-L record, by all means, PLEASE go sign up for some league where missing a game comes with some kind of penalty and no one would dare sign their kid up for another activity that might conflict. Leave the rec leaves to those of us who want it to be kind of relaxed and easy.

Completely agree about rec sports and fun and exposure and not caring about wins and losses. But if someone else is volunteering to teach and supervise your kid, the least parents can do is communicate whether or not your kid will be there.

Yeah, grace and all that, but it’s possible to show basic respect.