Capitol Hill - middle school and beyond?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have lived on the hill a decade now with no plans to leave - DH is obsessed with being in the city and we can't afford upper NW so for the foreseeable future we plan to stay in our townhouse. Both kids are in a DCI feeder school so we are putting all our eggs in the DCI basket. Will try for one of the Latin campuses in 6th if we don't get into DCI.

You should prod DH on whether he really believes that people really he cool because he lives near the federal government.

I am the PP who is moving and my DH was like this too, and actually it really is worth it to unpack why one or both partners are very attached to living "in the city." For my DH, he had this idea that moving outside the city was moving backwards because he'd lived in the suburbs in his 20s before finally moving into DC and being much happier to be close to friends and things to do. He moved into DC around the time we met, and he associates moving into DC as the time his life got really good.

But that was over a decade ago, before we married, owned a home, or had kids. When I'd suggest moving, he'd talk about how lonely he was in the burbs and how much less lonely his is now, and it took some time for me to convince him that living in a 1-bedroom apartment in the suburbs at the age of 26 is a totally different deal than living in a 3 bedroom house with your wife and family in your 40s. I actually think that potentially we will be more social and go out more once we move, because our lifestyle will be more in line with neighbors and also the lower cost of living will leave more money for babysitters and date nights.

It is somewhat comical how long it took to convince him of this but eventually he came around. But yes, initially he was incredibly attached to staying in the city, like if he left it would be some kind of tragedy. We're talking about moving 30 minutes away to a close-in suburb!

Different strokes for different folks.

My sister and her DH are home homebodies and burbs would fit them fine.

Whereas we do a lot of things in the city with dining out, Kennedy center, theater, concerts, family friendly activities in the city. Even if we moved just 1/2 hour outside, there is no way we would do 2/3rd of the things we would do because of the hassle of driving into the city.

It’s much easier though because we have only 1 and more time for outside interests/hobbies/friends and don’t need a huge place.

Different strokes +1. Happy for all the people who realize they want to leave the city and are able to. As someone who grew up in the DC suburbs, I don't want to recreate that for my kids or for my spouse and me. We'll stay put in our tiny rowhome and charter school. I'm relieved we can stay.

Agree with all the posters who say there are quite a few options for middle and high school for Hill families. As my kids get older, I am taking a closer look at Banneker, McKinley, and Duke Ellington as well as Basis and Latin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are moving. We waffled the first few years of elementary because we like the neighborhood and our ES. And we've done the dance with "well SH seems okay, maybe we can put it off."

But then one morning I woke up and decided: I don't want to do this anymore. We are moving after this year ends. Our primary goal in where we end up is solid ES-MS-HS situation, no surprises. I think we have lower standards for what that means than many in this area, but higher than Eastern. We want honors tracking, foreign language, good IB or AP offerings, and a solid extracurricular program. I don't need my kids to go to "the best" high school. I didn't. But I want them to have options, whether they are high achievers or just middle of the road.

We are also excited about more space (a yard!), better in state college options, and hopefully a slightly slower paced neighborhood with less crime and general angst. We'll miss the walkability and great transit options, and some of our neighbors

I’m excited for you. I wish we had moved years ago.

Thank you, we are excited too. That's how I knew it was the right choice. The thought if just putting this whole conversation in our rear view just filled me when the joy.

Just curious—how old are your kids? And where are you considering? Hoping to stay on the Hill at the school we love a bit longer, but I don’t want to wait too long and have the transition be tougher on the kids having to make new friends. Curious when you are making the leap. I also feel like I will be so relieved once we’ve just chosen a path through high school, but we gotta hang on a bit. Uncertainty is not my forte though 😫

I will say this as someone who has a clear path through high school: having a path doesn't necessarily make things easier. We are at BASIS and my child is doing very well (top 5%), and I am constantly questioning whether we should just move. BASIS is stressful and the building sucks. The city feels like it is getting more and more dangerous. We love the Hill and our friends, but we are questioning our choices all the time.

We're in the same situation as you -- kid at BASIS with consistent straight As -- but kid isn't stressed and thinks the building is fine. So I'm the one who wants to move, but I wonder if the move is more for me than for my kid? Would I make his situation worse off by moving?

The MS years are hard enough (physically, socially, mentally, etc) so if you have a kid who is happy at school and doing well, I wouldn't rock the boat.

100% agree with this. I changed schools in 7th grade from a small school to a huge public middle in the burbs. It was awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have lived on the hill a decade now with no plans to leave - DH is obsessed with being in the city and we can't afford upper NW so for the foreseeable future we plan to stay in our townhouse. Both kids are in a DCI feeder school so we are putting all our eggs in the DCI basket. Will try for one of the Latin campuses in 6th if we don't get into DCI.

You should prod DH on whether he really believes that people really he cool because he lives near the federal government.

I am the PP who is moving and my DH was like this too, and actually it really is worth it to unpack why one or both partners are very attached to living "in the city." For my DH, he had this idea that moving outside the city was moving backwards because he'd lived in the suburbs in his 20s before finally moving into DC and being much happier to be close to friends and things to do. He moved into DC around the time we met, and he associates moving into DC as the time his life got really good.

But that was over a decade ago, before we married, owned a home, or had kids. When I'd suggest moving, he'd talk about how lonely he was in the burbs and how much less lonely his is now, and it took some time for me to convince him that living in a 1-bedroom apartment in the suburbs at the age of 26 is a totally different deal than living in a 3 bedroom house with your wife and family in your 40s. I actually think that potentially we will be more social and go out more once we move, because our lifestyle will be more in line with neighbors and also the lower cost of living will leave more money for babysitters and date nights.

It is somewhat comical how long it took to convince him of this but eventually he came around. But yes, initially he was incredibly attached to staying in the city, like if he left it would be some kind of tragedy. We're talking about moving 30 minutes away to a close-in suburb!

Different strokes for different folks.

My sister and her DH are home homebodies and burbs would fit them fine.

Whereas we do a lot of things in the city with dining out, Kennedy center, theater, concerts, family friendly activities in the city. Even if we moved just 1/2 hour outside, there is no way we would do 2/3rd of the things we would do because of the hassle of driving into the city.

It’s much easier though because we have only 1 and more time for outside interests/hobbies/friends and don’t need a huge place.

Different strokes +1. Happy for all the people who realize they want to leave the city and are able to. As someone who grew up in the DC suburbs, I don't want to recreate that for my kids or for my spouse and me. We'll stay put in our tiny rowhome and charter school. I'm relieved we can stay.

Agree with all the posters who say there are quite a few options for middle and high school for Hill families. As my kids get older, I am taking a closer look at Banneker, McKinley, and Duke Ellington as well as Basis and Latin.

+2

This. I feel like this forum is frequented by people who want to share what went wrong, or problems they have. Which is fine, and is helpful to some. But people who are content and busy with day to day life don't frequent sites like these as much to say things are going just fine. Kind of like reviews of anything online -- it is much easier to find motivation/time to post anything when you have an axe to grind. Our child is just in the second week of 6th grade at our DCPS feeder, so I am not the expert yet, but we have friends at both SH and EH, and I know people at Jefferson and CHML - all of whom have had good experiences and are choosing to stay at those schools. For parents who want a full picture of a school, coming on here is helpful but only one piece of the puzzle. Connecting with somebody who is currently at the school or just finished is a great way to learn more. I know these people are often labeled 'boosters' on here, but talking to people who are happy with a school and want to share what is going well is not a bad thing. True, their view may not be shared by all, hearing why some people are happy at a school can be valuable to younger families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are moving. We waffled the first few years of elementary because we like the neighborhood and our ES. And we've done the dance with "well SH seems okay, maybe we can put it off."

But then one morning I woke up and decided: I don't want to do this anymore. We are moving after this year ends. Our primary goal in where we end up is solid ES-MS-HS situation, no surprises. I think we have lower standards for what that means than many in this area, but higher than Eastern. We want honors tracking, foreign language, good IB or AP offerings, and a solid extracurricular program. I don't need my kids to go to "the best" high school. I didn't. But I want them to have options, whether they are high achievers or just middle of the road.

We are also excited about more space (a yard!), better in state college options, and hopefully a slightly slower paced neighborhood with less crime and general angst. We'll miss the walkability and great transit options, and some of our neighbors

I’m excited for you. I wish we had moved years ago.

Thank you, we are excited too. That's how I knew it was the right choice. The thought if just putting this whole conversation in our rear view just filled me when the joy.

Just curious—how old are your kids? And where are you considering? Hoping to stay on the Hill at the school we love a bit longer, but I don’t want to wait too long and have the transition be tougher on the kids having to make new friends. Curious when you are making the leap. I also feel like I will be so relieved once we’ve just chosen a path through high school, but we gotta hang on a bit. Uncertainty is not my forte though 😫

I will say this as someone who has a clear path through high school: having a path doesn't necessarily make things easier. We are at BASIS and my child is doing very well (top 5%), and I am constantly questioning whether we should just move. BASIS is stressful and the building sucks. The city feels like it is getting more and more dangerous. We love the Hill and our friends, but we are questioning our choices all the time.

We're in the same situation as you -- kid at BASIS with consistent straight As -- but kid isn't stressed and thinks the building is fine. So I'm the one who wants to move, but I wonder if the move is more for me than for my kid? Would I make his situation worse off by moving?

The MS years are hard enough (physically, socially, mentally, etc) so if you have a kid who is happy at school and doing well, I wouldn't rock the boat.

100% agree with this. I changed schools in 7th grade from a small school to a huge public middle in the burbs. It was awful.

Whatever. My social anxiety-prone older Hill kid was happy with virtual learning, pleased that she didn't have to deal with other human beings while hiding at home. Sitting in front of computer screen all day made her happy and helped her academically. But was the arrangement good for her? Absolutely not. Then there's my younger kid, the "gifted" one, who cruised through her upper ES grades in her DCPS and 5th grade at BASIS without breaking a sweat. She liked easily earning top grades while improving her doodling skills. My spouse and I grew fed up with BASIS' laser beam like emphasis on test prep, crappy building, weak arts education and ECs and high teacher turnover. We bailed for a private middle school after grandparents offered to pay tuition, even though the kids would have been fine with staying where they were (these are the kids who'd have ice cream at every meal if you let them). Thankfully, the kids love their new school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are moving. We waffled the first few years of elementary because we like the neighborhood and our ES. And we've done the dance with "well SH seems okay, maybe we can put it off."

But then one morning I woke up and decided: I don't want to do this anymore. We are moving after this year ends. Our primary goal in where we end up is solid ES-MS-HS situation, no surprises. I think we have lower standards for what that means than many in this area, but higher than Eastern. We want honors tracking, foreign language, good IB or AP offerings, and a solid extracurricular program. I don't need my kids to go to "the best" high school. I didn't. But I want them to have options, whether they are high achievers or just middle of the road.

We are also excited about more space (a yard!), better in state college options, and hopefully a slightly slower paced neighborhood with less crime and general angst. We'll miss the walkability and great transit options, and some of our neighbors

I’m excited for you. I wish we had moved years ago.

Thank you, we are excited too. That's how I knew it was the right choice. The thought if just putting this whole conversation in our rear view just filled me when the joy.

Just curious—how old are your kids? And where are you considering? Hoping to stay on the Hill at the school we love a bit longer, but I don’t want to wait too long and have the transition be tougher on the kids having to make new friends. Curious when you are making the leap. I also feel like I will be so relieved once we’ve just chosen a path through high school, but we gotta hang on a bit. Uncertainty is not my forte though 😫

I will say this as someone who has a clear path through high school: having a path doesn't necessarily make things easier. We are at BASIS and my child is doing very well (top 5%), and I am constantly questioning whether we should just move. BASIS is stressful and the building sucks. The city feels like it is getting more and more dangerous. We love the Hill and our friends, but we are questioning our choices all the time.

We're in the same situation as you -- kid at BASIS with consistent straight As -- but kid isn't stressed and thinks the building is fine. So I'm the one who wants to move, but I wonder if the move is more for me than for my kid? Would I make his situation worse off by moving?

The MS years are hard enough (physically, socially, mentally, etc) so if you have a kid who is happy at school and doing well, I wouldn't rock the boat.

100% agree with this. I changed schools in 7th grade from a small school to a huge public middle in the burbs. It was awful.

Whatever. My social anxiety-prone older Hill kid was happy with virtual learning, pleased that she didn't have to deal with other human beings while hiding at home. Sitting in front of computer screen all day made her happy and helped her academically. But was the arrangement good for her? Absolutely not. Then there's my younger kid, the "gifted" one, who cruised through her upper ES grades in her DCPS and 5th grade at BASIS without breaking a sweat. She liked easily earning top grades while improving her doodling skills. My spouse and I grew fed up with BASIS' laser beam like emphasis on test prep, crappy building, weak arts education and ECs and high teacher turnover. We bailed for a private middle school after grandparents offered to pay tuition, even though the kids would have been fine with staying where they were (these are the kids who'd have ice cream at every meal if you let them). Thankfully, the kids love their new school.

No one said that change is necessarily bad, just that they thought that "if you have a kid who is happy at school and doing well, I wouldn't rock the boat." Your judgment that moving to a different school would be better for your kids is also perfectly reasonable, and I'm glad it worked out for you and them. Like the previous posters, we're sticking with Basis, which I readily admit is imperfect, but where our kids are doing well. Are we making the best decision? Hell if I know. But I'm quite sure that we (like you) making a good decision.

[Anonymous]

The problem is that, when it comes to in-bounds by-right schools on the Hill that kids can walk to and go to school with their neighbors, it breaks down to some great ES options, a few mediocre at best MS options, and no viable HS option.

So, your choices are:

- Move
- lottery
- Private

The obvious upside to lottery or private is that you don't have to move. But the downside of lottery is the uncertainty (and that none of the lottery schools are better than what you'd find in a strong public off the Hill) and the downside of private is $$ and perhaps culture depending on your views on that.

The upside to moving is that you move where you want your kid to go to school and you have instant community and a neighborhood school that they can ideally walk to, and attend through 12th. The downside is uprooting and in many cases, $$.

Everyone is going to value these factors differently. And different choices will be different for different famiiles. But these are the factors to consider.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are moving. We waffled the first few years of elementary because we like the neighborhood and our ES. And we've done the dance with "well SH seems okay, maybe we can put it off."

But then one morning I woke up and decided: I don't want to do this anymore. We are moving after this year ends. Our primary goal in where we end up is solid ES-MS-HS situation, no surprises. I think we have lower standards for what that means than many in this area, but higher than Eastern. We want honors tracking, foreign language, good IB or AP offerings, and a solid extracurricular program. I don't need my kids to go to "the best" high school. I didn't. But I want them to have options, whether they are high achievers or just middle of the road.

We are also excited about more space (a yard!), better in state college options, and hopefully a slightly slower paced neighborhood with less crime and general angst. We'll miss the walkability and great transit options, and some of our neighbors

I’m excited for you. I wish we had moved years ago.

Thank you, we are excited too. That's how I knew it was the right choice. The thought if just putting this whole conversation in our rear view just filled me when the joy.

Just curious—how old are your kids? And where are you considering? Hoping to stay on the Hill at the school we love a bit longer, but I don’t want to wait too long and have the transition be tougher on the kids having to make new friends. Curious when you are making the leap. I also feel like I will be so relieved once we’ve just chosen a path through high school, but we gotta hang on a bit. Uncertainty is not my forte though 😫

I will say this as someone who has a clear path through high school: having a path doesn't necessarily make things easier. We are at BASIS and my child is doing very well (top 5%), and I am constantly questioning whether we should just move. BASIS is stressful and the building sucks. The city feels like it is getting more and more dangerous. We love the Hill and our friends, but we are questioning our choices all the time.

We're in the same situation as you -- kid at BASIS with consistent straight As -- but kid isn't stressed and thinks the building is fine. So I'm the one who wants to move, but I wonder if the move is more for me than for my kid? Would I make his situation worse off by moving?

The MS years are hard enough (physically, socially, mentally, etc) so if you have a kid who is happy at school and doing well, I wouldn't rock the boat.

100% agree with this. I changed schools in 7th grade from a small school to a huge public middle in the burbs. It was awful.

Thanks for this. I keep comparing what he gets at BASIS vs my own excellent suburban public middle school, and it seems lacking…but IIRC, I was much unhappier in my middle school years than he has been so far, so maybe this really is the right fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are moving. We waffled the first few years of elementary because we like the neighborhood and our ES. And we've done the dance with "well SH seems okay, maybe we can put it off."

But then one morning I woke up and decided: I don't want to do this anymore. We are moving after this year ends. Our primary goal in where we end up is solid ES-MS-HS situation, no surprises. I think we have lower standards for what that means than many in this area, but higher than Eastern. We want honors tracking, foreign language, good IB or AP offerings, and a solid extracurricular program. I don't need my kids to go to "the best" high school. I didn't. But I want them to have options, whether they are high achievers or just middle of the road.

We are also excited about more space (a yard!), better in state college options, and hopefully a slightly slower paced neighborhood with less crime and general angst. We'll miss the walkability and great transit options, and some of our neighbors

I’m excited for you. I wish we had moved years ago.

Thank you, we are excited too. That's how I knew it was the right choice. The thought if just putting this whole conversation in our rear view just filled me when the joy.

Just curious—how old are your kids? And where are you considering? Hoping to stay on the Hill at the school we love a bit longer, but I don’t want to wait too long and have the transition be tougher on the kids having to make new friends. Curious when you are making the leap. I also feel like I will be so relieved once we’ve just chosen a path through high school, but we gotta hang on a bit. Uncertainty is not my forte though 😫

Oldest is in K, younger just started PK3. Plan to list our place in the spring and start house hunting, but are ready to rent in suburbs if our place sells quickly and we haven't found the right place.

Wanting to get our kids settled before middle elementary is a major driver for moving now. Right now, they have friends at school but are not even as attached to them as they are to pals from daycare. They have some activities but will be easy to switch those when we move (soccer, swim).

We are looking at Takoma Park and parts of Silver Spring. Maybe Kensington area. Some of it will depend on what our place on CH sells for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have lived on the hill a decade now with no plans to leave - DH is obsessed with being in the city and we can't afford upper NW so for the foreseeable future we plan to stay in our townhouse. Both kids are in a DCI feeder school so we are putting all our eggs in the DCI basket. Will try for one of the Latin campuses in 6th if we don't get into DCI.

You should prod DH on whether he really believes that people really he cool because he lives near the federal government.

I am the PP who is moving and my DH was like this too, and actually it really is worth it to unpack why one or both partners are very attached to living "in the city." For my DH, he had this idea that moving outside the city was moving backwards because he'd lived in the suburbs in his 20s before finally moving into DC and being much happier to be close to friends and things to do. He moved into DC around the time we met, and he associates moving into DC as the time his life got really good.

But that was over a decade ago, before we married, owned a home, or had kids. When I'd suggest moving, he'd talk about how lonely he was in the burbs and how much less lonely his is now, and it took some time for me to convince him that living in a 1-bedroom apartment in the suburbs at the age of 26 is a totally different deal than living in a 3 bedroom house with your wife and family in your 40s. I actually think that potentially we will be more social and go out more once we move, because our lifestyle will be more in line with neighbors and also the lower cost of living will leave more money for babysitters and date nights.

It is somewhat comical how long it took to convince him of this but eventually he came around. But yes, initially he was incredibly attached to staying in the city, like if he left it would be some kind of tragedy. We're talking about moving 30 minutes away to a close-in suburb!

Different strokes for different folks.

My sister and her DH are home homebodies and burbs would fit them fine.

Whereas we do a lot of things in the city with dining out, Kennedy center, theater, concerts, family friendly activities in the city. Even if we moved just 1/2 hour outside, there is no way we would do 2/3rd of the things we would do because of the hassle of driving into the city.

It’s much easier though because we have only 1 and more time for outside interests/hobbies/friends and don’t need a huge place.

I agree different strokes but you make it sound like all city people go out a lot and the suburbs are just for staying home. This is a weird binary. Everyone I know in the suburbs goes out a ton. It's just more likely to be stuff like an evening bike ride with kids, a backyard BBQ with other families, hiking nearby, etc.

Not all suburbs are huge and sprawling with big houses either. I also know people who live in dense close in suburbs, in walkable neighborhoods close to Metro, who regularly do the things you mention.

The primary difference between them and people on CH is that they have an acceptable IB HS situation. Not lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem is that, when it comes to in-bounds by-right schools on the Hill that kids can walk to and go to school with their neighbors, it breaks down to some great ES options, a few mediocre at best MS options, and no viable HS option.

So, your choices are:

- Move
- lottery
- Private

The obvious upside to lottery or private is that you don't have to move. But the downside of lottery is the uncertainty (and that none of the lottery schools are better than what you'd find in a strong public off the Hill) and the downside of private is $$ and perhaps culture depending on your views on that.

The upside to moving is that you move where you want your kid to go to school and you have instant community and a neighborhood school that they can ideally walk to, and attend through 12th. The downside is uprooting and in many cases, $$.

Everyone is going to value these factors differently. And different choices will be different for different famiiles. But these are the factors to consider.

There's another option, homeschool for middle school. We have Hill neighbors who homeschooled two teens for 7th and 8th grades, after bailing from DCI. They hired a variety of tutors to help, before sending their kids to parochial high schools (St. John's, St. Anselm's).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have lived on the hill a decade now with no plans to leave - DH is obsessed with being in the city and we can't afford upper NW so for the foreseeable future we plan to stay in our townhouse. Both kids are in a DCI feeder school so we are putting all our eggs in the DCI basket. Will try for one of the Latin campuses in 6th if we don't get into DCI.

You should prod DH on whether he really believes that people really he cool because he lives near the federal government.

I am the PP who is moving and my DH was like this too, and actually it really is worth it to unpack why one or both partners are very attached to living "in the city." For my DH, he had this idea that moving outside the city was moving backwards because he'd lived in the suburbs in his 20s before finally moving into DC and being much happier to be close to friends and things to do. He moved into DC around the time we met, and he associates moving into DC as the time his life got really good.

But that was over a decade ago, before we married, owned a home, or had kids. When I'd suggest moving, he'd talk about how lonely he was in the burbs and how much less lonely his is now, and it took some time for me to convince him that living in a 1-bedroom apartment in the suburbs at the age of 26 is a totally different deal than living in a 3 bedroom house with your wife and family in your 40s. I actually think that potentially we will be more social and go out more once we move, because our lifestyle will be more in line with neighbors and also the lower cost of living will leave more money for babysitters and date nights.

It is somewhat comical how long it took to convince him of this but eventually he came around. But yes, initially he was incredibly attached to staying in the city, like if he left it would be some kind of tragedy. We're talking about moving 30 minutes away to a close-in suburb!

Different strokes for different folks.

My sister and her DH are home homebodies and burbs would fit them fine.

Whereas we do a lot of things in the city with dining out, Kennedy center, theater, concerts, family friendly activities in the city. Even if we moved just 1/2 hour outside, there is no way we would do 2/3rd of the things we would do because of the hassle of driving into the city.

It’s much easier though because we have only 1 and more time for outside interests/hobbies/friends and don’t need a huge place.

I agree different strokes but you make it sound like all city people go out a lot and the suburbs are just for staying home. This is a weird binary. Everyone I know in the suburbs goes out a ton. It's just more likely to be stuff like an evening bike ride with kids, a backyard BBQ with other families, hiking nearby, etc.

Not all suburbs are huge and sprawling with big houses either. I also know people who live in dense close in suburbs, in walkable neighborhoods close to Metro, who regularly do the things you mention.

The primary difference between them and people on CH is that they have an acceptable IB HS situation. Not lifestyle.

I'm not buying this. My ex lives in Arlington and we share custody so my kids go to an Arlington public MS. My life would be easier if I moved to Arlington to be closer to my ex but I'm not going. The Arlington lifestyle doesn't appeal. I won't give up Hill density, longtime friends, neighbors, activities, lovely architecture, or my walkable/bikeable commute to a Congressional office building. My kids don't want me to move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have lived on the hill a decade now with no plans to leave - DH is obsessed with being in the city and we can't afford upper NW so for the foreseeable future we plan to stay in our townhouse. Both kids are in a DCI feeder school so we are putting all our eggs in the DCI basket. Will try for one of the Latin campuses in 6th if we don't get into DCI.

You should prod DH on whether he really believes that people really he cool because he lives near the federal government.

I am the PP who is moving and my DH was like this too, and actually it really is worth it to unpack why one or both partners are very attached to living "in the city." For my DH, he had this idea that moving outside the city was moving backwards because he'd lived in the suburbs in his 20s before finally moving into DC and being much happier to be close to friends and things to do. He moved into DC around the time we met, and he associates moving into DC as the time his life got really good.

But that was over a decade ago, before we married, owned a home, or had kids. When I'd suggest moving, he'd talk about how lonely he was in the burbs and how much less lonely his is now, and it took some time for me to convince him that living in a 1-bedroom apartment in the suburbs at the age of 26 is a totally different deal than living in a 3 bedroom house with your wife and family in your 40s. I actually think that potentially we will be more social and go out more once we move, because our lifestyle will be more in line with neighbors and also the lower cost of living will leave more money for babysitters and date nights.

It is somewhat comical how long it took to convince him of this but eventually he came around. But yes, initially he was incredibly attached to staying in the city, like if he left it would be some kind of tragedy. We're talking about moving 30 minutes away to a close-in suburb!

Different strokes for different folks.

My sister and her DH are home homebodies and burbs would fit them fine.

Whereas we do a lot of things in the city with dining out, Kennedy center, theater, concerts, family friendly activities in the city. Even if we moved just 1/2 hour outside, there is no way we would do 2/3rd of the things we would do because of the hassle of driving into the city.

It’s much easier though because we have only 1 and more time for outside interests/hobbies/friends and don’t need a huge place.

I agree different strokes but you make it sound like all city people go out a lot and the suburbs are just for staying home. This is a weird binary. Everyone I know in the suburbs goes out a ton. It's just more likely to be stuff like an evening bike ride with kids, a backyard BBQ with other families, hiking nearby, etc.

Not all suburbs are huge and sprawling with big houses either. I also know people who live in dense close in suburbs, in walkable neighborhoods close to Metro, who regularly do the things you mention.

The primary difference between them and people on CH is that they have an acceptable IB HS situation. Not lifestyle.

I'm not buying this. My ex lives in Arlington and we share custody so my kids go to an Arlington public MS. My life would be easier if I moved to Arlington to be closer to my ex but I'm not going. The Arlington lifestyle doesn't appeal. I won't give up Hill density, longtime friends, neighbors, activities, lovely architecture, or my walkable/bikeable commute to a Congressional office building. My kids don't want me to move.

PP, I may be in a similar situation at some point. How does your custody schedule work? How is getting them to school and back commute wise?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem is that, when it comes to in-bounds by-right schools on the Hill that kids can walk to and go to school with their neighbors, it breaks down to some great ES options, a few mediocre at best MS options, and no viable HS option.

So, your choices are:

- Move
- lottery
- Private

The obvious upside to lottery or private is that you don't have to move. But the downside of lottery is the uncertainty (and that none of the lottery schools are better than what you'd find in a strong public off the Hill) and the downside of private is $$ and perhaps culture depending on your views on that.

The upside to moving is that you move where you want your kid to go to school and you have instant community and a neighborhood school that they can ideally walk to, and attend through 12th. The downside is uprooting and in many cases, $$.

Everyone is going to value these factors differently. And different choices will be different for different famiiles. But these are the factors to consider.

I don't think this is quite it. If you're looking at schools, ultimately what every parent wants is the school where their kid is happiest. I know my kid would not thrive in a huge school, so that takes most publics off the Hill off the list -- but it does not take many charters off the list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:We are moving. We waffled the first few years of elementary because we like the neighborhood and our ES. And we've done the dance with "well SH seems okay, maybe we can put it off."

But then one morning I woke up and decided: I don't want to do this anymore. We are moving after this year ends. Our primary goal in where we end up is solid ES-MS-HS situation, no surprises. I think we have lower standards for what that means than many in this area, but higher than Eastern. We want honors tracking, foreign language, good IB or AP offerings, and a solid extracurricular program. I don't need my kids to go to "the best" high school. I didn't. But I want them to have options, whether they are high achievers or just middle of the road.

We are also excited about more space (a yard!), better in state college options, and hopefully a slightly slower paced neighborhood with less crime and general angst. We'll miss the walkability and great transit options, and some of our neighbors

I’m excited for you. I wish we had moved years ago.

Thank you, we are excited too. That's how I knew it was the right choice. The thought if just putting this whole conversation in our rear view just filled me when the joy.

Just curious—how old are your kids? And where are you considering? Hoping to stay on the Hill at the school we love a bit longer, but I don’t want to wait too long and have the transition be tougher on the kids having to make new friends. Curious when you are making the leap. I also feel like I will be so relieved once we’ve just chosen a path through high school, but we gotta hang on a bit. Uncertainty is not my forte though 😫

I will say this as someone who has a clear path through high school: having a path doesn't necessarily make things easier. We are at BASIS and my child is doing very well (top 5%), and I am constantly questioning whether we should just move. BASIS is stressful and the building sucks. The city feels like it is getting more and more dangerous. We love the Hill and our friends, but we are questioning our choices all the time.

We're in the same situation as you -- kid at BASIS with consistent straight As -- but kid isn't stressed and thinks the building is fine. So I'm the one who wants to move, but I wonder if the move is more for me than for my kid? Would I make his situation worse off by moving?

The MS years are hard enough (physically, socially, mentally, etc) so if you have a kid who is happy at school and doing well, I wouldn't rock the boat.

100% agree with this. I changed schools in 7th grade from a small school to a huge public middle in the burbs. It was awful.

Whatever. My social anxiety-prone older Hill kid was happy with virtual learning, pleased that she didn't have to deal with other human beings while hiding at home. Sitting in front of computer screen all day made her happy and helped her academically. But was the arrangement good for her? Absolutely not. Then there's my younger kid, the "gifted" one, who cruised through her upper ES grades in her DCPS and 5th grade at BASIS without breaking a sweat. She liked easily earning top grades while improving her doodling skills. My spouse and I grew fed up with BASIS' laser beam like emphasis on test prep, crappy building, weak arts education and ECs and high teacher turnover. We bailed for a private middle school after grandparents offered to pay tuition, even though the kids would have been fine with staying where they were (these are the kids who'd have ice cream at every meal if you let them). Thankfully, the kids love their new school.

Whatever. Yawn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are moving. We waffled the first few years of elementary because we like the neighborhood and our ES. And we've done the dance with "well SH seems okay, maybe we can put it off."

But then one morning I woke up and decided: I don't want to do this anymore. We are moving after this year ends. Our primary goal in where we end up is solid ES-MS-HS situation, no surprises. I think we have lower standards for what that means than many in this area, but higher than Eastern. We want honors tracking, foreign language, good IB or AP offerings, and a solid extracurricular program. I don't need my kids to go to "the best" high school. I didn't. But I want them to have options, whether they are high achievers or just middle of the road.

We are also excited about more space (a yard!), better in state college options, and hopefully a slightly slower paced neighborhood with less crime and general angst. We'll miss the walkability and great transit options, and some of our neighbors

I’m excited for you. I wish we had moved years ago.

Thank you, we are excited too. That's how I knew it was the right choice. The thought if just putting this whole conversation in our rear view just filled me when the joy.

Just curious—how old are your kids? And where are you considering? Hoping to stay on the Hill at the school we love a bit longer, but I don’t want to wait too long and have the transition be tougher on the kids having to make new friends. Curious when you are making the leap. I also feel like I will be so relieved once we’ve just chosen a path through high school, but we gotta hang on a bit. Uncertainty is not my forte though 😫

I will say this as someone who has a clear path through high school: having a path doesn't necessarily make things easier. We are at BASIS and my child is doing very well (top 5%), and I am constantly questioning whether we should just move. BASIS is stressful and the building sucks. The city feels like it is getting more and more dangerous. We love the Hill and our friends, but we are questioning our choices all the time.

We're in the same situation as you -- kid at BASIS with consistent straight As -- but kid isn't stressed and thinks the building is fine. So I'm the one who wants to move, but I wonder if the move is more for me than for my kid? Would I make his situation worse off by moving?

The MS years are hard enough (physically, socially, mentally, etc) so if you have a kid who is happy at school and doing well, I wouldn't rock the boat.

100% agree with this. I changed schools in 7th grade from a small school to a huge public middle in the burbs. It was awful.

Whatever. My social anxiety-prone older Hill kid was happy with virtual learning, pleased that she didn't have to deal with other human beings while hiding at home. Sitting in front of computer screen all day made her happy and helped her academically. But was the arrangement good for her? Absolutely not. Then there's my younger kid, the "gifted" one, who cruised through her upper ES grades in her DCPS and 5th grade at BASIS without breaking a sweat. She liked easily earning top grades while improving her doodling skills. My spouse and I grew fed up with BASIS' laser beam like emphasis on test prep, crappy building, weak arts education and ECs and high teacher turnover. We bailed for a private middle school after grandparents offered to pay tuition, even though the kids would have been fine with staying where they were (these are the kids who'd have ice cream at every meal if you let them). Thankfully, the kids love their new school.

I guess I don't understand what a person whose kids go to private school is doing posting on the DCPS/DCPCS forum other than to talk trash about our choices, but OK.