What’s your best piece of advice on understanding the opposite gender?

[Anonymous]

For me, as a female, the best advice I got about men was don't try to put layers and find meaning behind their words. If they say they are tired, they are tired. If they say I hate this object, they hate that object. If they say they like to do a certain activity, they like to do that activity. There's no subtlety.

[Anonymous]

They are just people.

[Anonymous]

When I was young and very infatuated with someone (who, in retrospect, was not that into me), I explained to my friend why he was unable to do something with me (he claimed to have a conflict of some type).

My friend said, “Men do what they want,” meaning that he was doing what he preferred…and I should keep that in mind.

I think there is a lot of truth to what she said,

“Men do what they want,”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are more than two genders. Opposite of what?

Ok. What’s anything at all that helped you to understand someone other than yourself?

You don’t have to go that far. Simply ask: what helped you understand someone better of another gender?

OMG, either offer a genuine response to OP’s question or move on!

You people are exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For me, as a female, the best advice I got about men was don't try to put layers and find meaning behind their words. If they say they are tired, they are tired. If they say I hate this object, they hate that object. If they say they like to do a certain activity, they like to do that activity. There's no subtlety.

My mom (who raised many children) said something similar: that men are very simple (whereas women are more complicated/not straightforward).

[Anonymous]

I learned that even after a 25 year marriage and a bit of dating before that I did not know a lot about men, I only knew a lot about one man. Dating in middle age involved dropping preconceived notions and getting to know the actual men I met then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men are simple beings. Don't treat them the way you treat your female friends. They thrive under certain conditions, but don't expect those conditions to be the same as they are for you. Keep things simple, defined, provide binary choices, etc. They do better. They also like to feel important. Let them think they are in charge sometimes. It's like dealing with your toddler. Easy when you do it right and very frustrating if you think that person is going to be able to keep up like your sister or BFF.

--Happily married to a very smart and successful man for 20 years

My mom could get any man in the family to carry anything, whether they were 4 or 40 by saying how strong you would have to be to lift it.

She said they never change from being small boys.

(I think that is pathetic, and sort of an excuse to not hold them accountable. )

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are simple beings. Don't treat them the way you treat your female friends. They thrive under certain conditions, but don't expect those conditions to be the same as they are for you. Keep things simple, defined, provide binary choices, etc. They do better. They also like to feel important. Let them think they are in charge sometimes. It's like dealing with your toddler. Easy when you do it right and very frustrating if you think that person is going to be able to keep up like your sister or BFF.

--Happily married to a very smart and successful man for 20 years

My mom could get any man in the family to carry anything, whether they were 4 or 40 by saying how strong you would have to be to lift it.

She said they never change from being small boys.

(I think that is pathetic, and sort of an excuse to not hold them accountable. )

I hear you. But it’s all about aligning your expectations with reality. Expecting them to think/be like you or your girlfriends will leave you miserable. They are good at certain things. If you give them stuff you don’t want to do instead of trying to make them do half of your work, life is much easier.

[Anonymous]

Guy here. When we were dating my now dw asked me to read His Needs/Her Needs. It’s a little dated now but it really helped me understand what she wanted out of the relationship. It kinda formed the basis of our relationship agreement. We got to talk about what was important to each of us and each of us agreed to provide those things. It’s been a good marriage now for 20 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are more than two genders. Opposite of what?

Most of us just assume man or woman. Kind of goes off the rails after that.

[Anonymous]

If you ask a man something and he gives you an answer then that is likely the actual answer.

Women are much more complex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are more than two genders.

No, there's not

[Anonymous]

Men are not complicated. Women are. Therefore women are always trying to “decode” men because they assume they’re complicated.

If a man is into you, you will know, period, no exceptions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are more than two genders. Opposite of what?

Yes there's male, female, and attention seeking behavior (or mental illness, take your pick)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are simple beings. Don't treat them the way you treat your female friends. They thrive under certain conditions, but don't expect those conditions to be the same as they are for you. Keep things simple, defined, provide binary choices, etc. They do better. They also like to feel important. Let them think they are in charge sometimes. It's like dealing with your toddler. Easy when you do it right and very frustrating if you think that person is going to be able to keep up like your sister or BFF.

--Happily married to a very smart and successful man for 20 years

My mom could get any man in the family to carry anything, whether they were 4 or 40 by saying how strong you would have to be to lift it.

She said they never change from being small boys.

(I think that is pathetic, and sort of an excuse to not hold them accountable. )

I hear you. But it’s all about aligning your expectations with reality. Expecting them to think/be like you or your girlfriends will leave you miserable. They are good at certain things. If you give them stuff you don’t want to do instead of trying to make them do half of your work, life is much easier.

Modern women to take men being very helpful to women and turn it into something sinister.