What’s your best piece of advice on understanding the opposite gender?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men don’t like to talk about their emotions. This means that
a) they don’t really think to ask about your emotions, and this isn’t them being a jerk. And
b). Sometimes they think you are being kind of a jerk when you ask what they are feeling (particularly if you guess right).

Correction: Most men have been bullied their whole lives, by both other men/boys and women/girls, to hide their emotions.

[Anonymous]

The older I get, the less I think I know or understand about gender.

People try really hard to act, feel and look like others, regardless of how they feel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are more than two genders. Opposite of what?

How many genders are there scientifically?
There are two biological sexes – male and female. Intersex is a term used for disorders of sexual development (DSD). Gender – the roles, behaviours, activities, and attributes that a given society at a given time considers appropriate for men and women to divide labour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men don’t like to talk about their emotions. This means that
a) they don’t really think to ask about your emotions, and this isn’t them being a jerk. And
b). Sometimes they think you are being kind of a jerk when you ask what they are feeling (particularly if you guess right).

Correction: Most men have been bullied their whole lives, by both other men/boys and women/girls, to hide their emotions.

And this is part of why men like sports so much - it's an outlet for their emotions that society deems acceptable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What helped me was something I read that discussed how most married men could not articulate how important their spouse was to them, and how just knowing that their spouse was at home puttering around or gardening or doing whatever was so enormously comforting and essential to their wellbeing, even if there was no direct interaction going on. My husband has said that he "hates" it when I am away, and I'm like, "Why?? It's not like we're doing much of anything most nights." But after I read that I realized that he just derives comfort from knowing I'm around and that he must assume the same is true for me; which is to say, he may not see the need for talk/overt acts of affection because to him it's all unspoken and implicit and largely about being present.

That’s a really interesting point. I think that I see this with my parents. My dad struggles when my mom is out of town.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are more than two genders. Opposite of what?

Nope. Two genders. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men don’t like to talk about their emotions. This means that
a) they don’t really think to ask about your emotions, and this isn’t them being a jerk. And
b). Sometimes they think you are being kind of a jerk when you ask what they are feeling (particularly if you guess right).

Correction: Most men have been bullied their whole lives, by both other men/boys and women/girls, to hide their emotions.

I don't think it's bullying per se. But definitely conditioning.

[Anonymous]

I once read somewhere that men want a combination of a passionate lover, an ever caring parent and a fun best friend, all in his wife.

Imho, wives want the same thing in their husbands.

[Anonymous]

My best advice is: don’t try.

Men are wired differently. Period. You could bang your brains out trying to figure that out or just let go and let them do their thing. They are like animals. They do what they do and when they want something they come to you. The end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What helped me was something I read that discussed how most married men could not articulate how important their spouse was to them, and how just knowing that their spouse was at home puttering around or gardening or doing whatever was so enormously comforting and essential to their wellbeing, even if there was no direct interaction going on. My husband has said that he "hates" it when I am away, and I'm like, "Why?? It's not like we're doing much of anything most nights." But after I read that I realized that he just derives comfort from knowing I'm around and that he must assume the same is true for me; which is to say, he may not see the need for talk/overt acts of affection because to him it's all unspoken and implicit and largely about being present.

That’s a really interesting point. I think that I see this with my parents. My dad struggles when my mom is out of town.

Same for when my parents, if one was away, other felt lost. My husband is the same and so am I in many ways.

[Anonymous]

Looks
Money
Status

These are the three levers men need to activate in order to do best in the market

You need at least one out of three

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What helped me was something I read that discussed how most married men could not articulate how important their spouse was to them, and how just knowing that their spouse was at home puttering around or gardening or doing whatever was so enormously comforting and essential to their wellbeing, even if there was no direct interaction going on. My husband has said that he "hates" it when I am away, and I'm like, "Why?? It's not like we're doing much of anything most nights." But after I read that I realized that he just derives comfort from knowing I'm around and that he must assume the same is true for me; which is to say, he may not see the need for talk/overt acts of affection because to him it's all unspoken and implicit and largely about being present.

That’s a really interesting point. I think that I see this with my parents. My dad struggles when my mom is out of town.

Mine does too. They are very tightly bound.

[Anonymous]

I'm only just starting to come to terms with how deeply painful diet culture and body image messages have been for my wife. I know she's always struggling with her weight and messing around with diets and calorie restrictions, but I've underestimated how painful the underlying reasons for those things have been for her.

[Anonymous]

Advice to women: be humble enough to accept the fact you cannot understand men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of men don’t want to look weak in front of their wife/girlfriend, so they will lie about stupid crap like whether or not they fell asleep. It’s not just my DHz.

Women do not like weak men.