Transferring to be with GF

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t support it because that would be a lot of money to our family. It would hurt.

If money isn’t a concern, I’d be much more likely to support it.

[Anonymous]

Does anyone think that a single employer (outside of maybe Tucson and PG County) who sees a lick of difference between the schools? They both fall into the 95% that are neither HYPSM nor Trump U. They check the box for completing college but literally no one is going to say “wow, you went to College Park / U of A!”

Anyone attempting to assert that the nuanced and subjective differences between the schools correlate to anything tangible is out of touch and delusional.

[Anonymous]

My boss and her husband graduated from U of A in Engineering. They both make a good living (on the east coast.)

[Anonymous]

OP here. I really appreciate the input and different angles on relationship, as well as college comparison. It resonates a lot with what we are thinking. I am going to clarify few things (hopefully without revealing too much):

1) DS is not loving UMD. He is OK and has friends, but mainly looks at it as education. Definitely not having time of his life.

2) His GF is from AZ, they met during summer program while in HS. Now they see each other couple of times per semester, plus most of winter and summer breaks. We pay for his tickets. He stays with her family during his visits, and she stays with us.

3) They are serious about their relationship, often talking about living together after college, building family etc. We can’t possibly suggest “he should date other people” and we don’t think that. However, they both are very young and we understand that it’s not necessarily going to work out. DS very well might end up heartbroken at UofA, but he seems to be willing to take a risk.

4) He visited UofA and shadowed for few days during one of his stays. Just followed his GF to classes and campus activities/parties. Says he loves the vibe on the campus so much more than UMD and yes, he did mention the weather. He also doesn’t seem to care much about school ranking.

Again, thanks so much for your responses. Certainly very helpful!

[Anonymous]

So he should take out a college loan for the amount extra in tuition, travel and living expenses. Otherwise, it’s not important enough to him and he’s also gaining zero life learning. To cover the expenses of his love life when it’s so easy to get a low interest student loan is treating him like a baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So he should take out a college loan for the amount extra in tuition, travel and living expenses. Otherwise, it’s not important enough to him and he’s also gaining zero life learning. To cover the expenses of his love life when it’s so easy to get a low interest student loan is treating him like a baby.

One of the reasons DS chose in state is to save us money (he is very practical). If he went to other school he was accepted, we’d be paying for him to come home on holidays and breaks. So we felt it was fair to cover his travel to see GF, since there is zero travel expense to/from college park.

[Anonymous]

With your update op, I would let him do it assuming it works out financially for your family. Life is for living and he seems a mature kid. I don’t think he will regret it even if they break up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So he should take out a college loan for the amount extra in tuition, travel and living expenses. Otherwise, it’s not important enough to him and he’s also gaining zero life learning. To cover the expenses of his love life when it’s so easy to get a low interest student loan is treating him like a baby.

One of the reasons DS chose in state is to save us money (he is very practical). If he went to other school he was accepted, we’d be paying for him to come home on holidays and breaks. So we felt it was fair to cover his travel to see GF, since there is zero travel expense to/from college park.

So treat him like a baby then. Delay adulthood as long as possible.

[Anonymous]

Arizona out of state costs not including travel

When these costs are combined, annual out-of-state charges total $55,208. This figure is 79.9% higher than what Arizona residents pay. All price data is sourced from the 2021/2022 U.S. Department of Education National Center for Education Statistics survey.

UMD in state costs negligible travel

Average cost before aid
$28,075

Figure at least $3000 in travel per year

$30000 a year extra.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Arizona out of state costs not including travel

When these costs are combined, annual out-of-state charges total $55,208. This figure is 79.9% higher than what Arizona residents pay. All price data is sourced from the 2021/2022 U.S. Department of Education National Center for Education Statistics survey.

UMD in state costs negligible travel

Average cost before aid
$28,075

Figure at least $3000 in travel per year

$30000 a year extra.

He’s paying 79% more than she is 😂😂

[Anonymous]

Schools should reduce attractive students costs 20% if they date out of state students. Ca Ching!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I really appreciate the input and different angles on relationship, as well as college comparison. It resonates a lot with what we are thinking. I am going to clarify few things (hopefully without revealing too much):

1) DS is not loving UMD. He is OK and has friends, but mainly looks at it as education. Definitely not having time of his life.

2) His GF is from AZ, they met during summer program while in HS. Now they see each other couple of times per semester, plus most of winter and summer breaks. We pay for his tickets. He stays with her family during his visits, and she stays with us.

3) They are serious about their relationship, often talking about living together after college, building family etc. We can’t possibly suggest “he should date other people” and we don’t think that. However, they both are very young and we understand that it’s not necessarily going to work out. DS very well might end up heartbroken at UofA, but he seems to be willing to take a risk.

4) He visited UofA and shadowed for few days during one of his stays. Just followed his GF to classes and campus activities/parties. Says he loves the vibe on the campus so much more than UMD and yes, he did mention the weather. He also doesn’t seem to care much about school ranking.

Again, thanks so much for your responses. Certainly very helpful!

HI OP-I am all for love. If he is not happy then he should transfer. What about ASU so he is in the state with a big flagship but not at same
school to give some space? Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Arizona out of state costs not including travel

When these costs are combined, annual out-of-state charges total $55,208. This figure is 79.9% higher than what Arizona residents pay. All price data is sourced from the 2021/2022 U.S. Department of Education National Center for Education Statistics survey.

UMD in state costs negligible travel

Average cost before aid
$28,075

Figure at least $3000 in travel per year

$30000 a year extra.

He’s paying 79% more than she is 😂😂

In a RomCom he would be kind of a pantywaist. I wouldn’t do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I really appreciate the input and different angles on relationship, as well as college comparison. It resonates a lot with what we are thinking. I am going to clarify few things (hopefully without revealing too much):

1) DS is not loving UMD. He is OK and has friends, but mainly looks at it as education. Definitely not having time of his life.

2) His GF is from AZ, they met during summer program while in HS. Now they see each other couple of times per semester, plus most of winter and summer breaks. We pay for his tickets. He stays with her family during his visits, and she stays with us.

3) They are serious about their relationship, often talking about living together after college, building family etc. We can’t possibly suggest “he should date other people” and we don’t think that. However, they both are very young and we understand that it’s not necessarily going to work out. DS very well might end up heartbroken at UofA, but he seems to be willing to take a risk.

4) He visited UofA and shadowed for few days during one of his stays. Just followed his GF to classes and campus activities/parties. Says he loves the vibe on the campus so much more than UMD and yes, he did mention the weather. He also doesn’t seem to care much about school ranking.

Again, thanks so much for your responses. Certainly very helpful!

He's free to do whatever he wants, but not at your expense. Let him foot the bill for the difference if he decides to transfer.

[Anonymous]

My cousin graduated from U of A and has a great career. She enjoyed her time there. Like many schools, I think it’s dependent on finding a major you like and especially on finding your people.

I have nephews at ASU and NAU and both got great merit aid - have you checked if this is possible for your son at UofA? May make up some of the difference of out of state tuition.