Though isn't 50% of America fat - or some high % like that? You'd think drs would be used to it. |
DP He was wearing his crepey black skin and got treated differently. It’s not like he can take his skin off anymore than I can change my gender. |
They don’t judge you by your clothes. They judge you by your weight. |
Yes. It’s like how do you prevent black cops from being more harsh to black people. It’s engrained in society. |
Hate to say it as a woman but it depends on male vs. female drs. Male drs and nerdy female drs - I think they don't judge based on designer bags. As PPs have said, some of the men don't necessarily recognize designer purses or clothes at first sight. Nerdy female drs. may recognize them but just aren't impressed.
For those groups I feel like the judgment/quality of the interaction is much more based on what you do for a living. I feel like they treat white collar professionals and high earning professionals as smart. And while I guess they shouldn't know what you do for a living or where you went to college - I've had drs ask and then they spoke to me more like an equal once they realized I was a lawyer, went to an ivy etc. Some of this may be judgment, some of this may just be - I can go through this in detail with this person who will understand and/or know to ask questions if they don't understand. Female drs who are fashionable/who consider themselves fashionable - yeah I feel they def judge on everything including clothes, shoes etc. GW had one of these in primary care and she was a nightmare and the reviews were so split. Half the reviews were OMG she's sooooo great, she explains everything, I totally trust her. Half were - she basically didn't speak to me, was condescending/rude. It was clear she was treating humans very differently based on her judgment. She has since moved onto another practice in the area. |
This is interesting. I may change my profession title just a tad to see if the reaction is different. I do find I am asked my profession a lot more in recent years. |
Gender matters more than clothing but clothing matters.
I do not carry a bag so that I can’t be judged for it. That part is easy. I consider bags a waste of money. |
My sister is a doctor, a pretty well-respected one in the DMV, and she wouldn't know an expensive designer bag if her life depended on it. |
How do you know black cops (or black physicians) are more harsh to black people? You sound bigoted. |
People are getting bad treatment for many reasons. Our only solution is to bring an advocate who will speak up for you, and put the doctors in their place - which is to heal you. |
But I’ve found pushing back even the tiniest bit on doctors turns into this weird power struggle where it feels like they really don’t like me. If I want it to go well I feel like I have to appear grateful and appreciative at all times (as a fat woman). Like they are doing me a favor by treating me as a human being and I should be thankful they aren’t being abusive. |
They treat everyone horribly before the insurance is entered in the system, but that is mostly triage nurses... |
What's your profession? I agree with the PP - I feel like profession is asked as a "get to know you/small talk" question but really they're asking as they try to figure out how to categorize you, how they'll speak to you, how much detail you "deserve" etc. Some do go further with school esp in this area which is prestige oriented + so many people aren't from here. It's easy to be like so are you from the DMV originally? No, Phila - that's great, did you go to school there too, oh great - where, oh UPenn and suddenly the know your education and can decide you're very likely an upper middle class type. It's total BS. I've recently had a PCP NOT ask about my job and still treat me like an equal and that frankly surprised me, though she's based in McLean which made me wonder if she just assumes that people coming to her come from some means. I totally believe it when I hear certain races say they are talked down to, treated as dumb - lots of drs are quick to judge. |
Absolutely. I always dress professionally or wear casual clothes like Patagonia or my college sweatshirt like a PP mentioned. I don’t go overboard as that can also backfire.
Doctors are just people, and people are judgmental. I don’t take chances. Unrelated, but Being Mortal is a book everyone should read. Talks a lot about how doctors are uncomfortable with death and conversations around that, just like us. Same goes for superficial assumptions and judgments. |
But sometimes their place is working with a different patient. If it's not a good fit, it's not a good fit. The relationship has to work both ways -- and with the exception of the Emergency Department, no doctor *has* to be your doctor any more than you *have* to be a patient for them. Neither side gets to power trip, if the other one walks away. Both of you can walk away, |