Son Gaining weight in College

[Anonymous]

Wow. A lot of you are giving OP a hard time with a concern she had - it's a valid one. She is not fatphobic - she's just concerned at the amount of weight put on in such a short period of time.

I'd like to think I'm close enough to my kids to at least voice the concern - in a nonjudgmental way. She can literally say "I know you're an adult and you can manage on your own, but I'm your mom and I wanted to discuss my concern. You've gained a lot of weight in a short period of time - are you stressed out? Can I help you with anything? Is it a concern for you? I love you and want you to be healthy and I know it's awkward but I wanted you to know that I'm here if you need me." and then open the convo.

Do you ppl not have conversations with your kids when they turn into adults? You can talk to them you know. Just because they're adults doesn't mean that all convos are off the table and if there's anyone that you should feel comfortable being open with awkward topics it should be your family if it's not a toxic unhealthy environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I honestly do not know how to handle this situation, but I am unable to ignore it. For some background, my son, who just completed his freshman year of college at JMU, has put on a good amount of weight while being at college and does not seem to even be aware of it/care at all.

My son was always thin growing up, and he was very active/involved in sports. He played football at Madison HS in Vienna all four years of high school and played baseball in the spring all four years as well. Growing up we always made sure to have plenty of nutritious meals available and our family is very active and places a high importance on staying in shape.

In August, when our son moved into JMU, he was lean and in great shape, now he is noticeably bigger. He was roughly 175lbs in August and he now weighs about 200lbs. While he does go to the gym, I don't think he does any sort of cardio workout which does not help. I believe the lack of structured sports practices/games he has had for many years, joining a fraternity, plus unlimited dining hall food has caused him to gain weight.

He is 6'2", and was very lean at 175, so it's not like I expected him to stay that way forever, I understand that people fill out as they get older. Since he is somewhat taller and worked out a lot in high school, he can carry the extra weight he's put on somewhat well. The thing that concerns me is that he put on 25lbs between August-May, and he does not seem to notice/care. I want to help him out with this because I am concerned he will keep these bad habits he's picked up at school and continue to gain weight.

How do I talk to him about this? I love him dearly and he is an amazing kid. He earned amazing grades his first year at college and has a great social life. He also found a summer job right away and is very respectful, responsible, etc. He is doing amazing in all facets of life, but I would hate to see him become unhealthy due to developing bad eating habits. What would you all do in this situation?

Omfg. That’s it.

[Anonymous]

My son came home blonde his junior year. You know what I said. Nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son came home blonde his junior year. You know what I said. Nothing.

Yeah because blonde leads to cardiovascular disease and diabetes.

Honestly - do you think this even is remotely the same thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 6'2" and 200 pounds, he probably still needs to put on more weight.

Huh? While I hardly think he's fat, he's on the higher end of a healthy weight range and technically overweight.

Overweight? What are you talking about?

NP if you use a bmi calculator his BMI comes to 25.7 - just in the overweight range. Of course BMI can be crap for muscular athletes - if he still has a lot of muscle mass may not actually be an unhealthy weight at all.

https://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/assessing/bmi/adult_bmi/english_bmi_calculator/bmi_calculator.html

Yeah, that's what I meant. His weight gain isn't problematic and I think OP is totally nuts, but it's silly to say he probably needs to put on more weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the people on here talking about how the OP gave out to many details are odd. It would literally take an insane amount of roster searching and cross checking everything to even come remotely close to finding out who this kid is. Even if you did all that it wouldn’t even be guaranteed.

Since he didn’t even go to college for athletics, his weight might not even be listed on the roster. My son is a rising senior at Robinson and his weight is not listed.

OP, you’re right to be concerned. 25lbs from basically September-April (8 months) is not insignificant and is more than the “freshman 15”. Like a PP said, he’ll most likely continue to get bigger if he doesn’t cut back on eating so much.

Don’t know if I would say anything. Try to get him into a better/healthier eating routine this summer. This boils down to him developing bad eating habits.

The point is that parents from this school would know the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son came home blonde his junior year. You know what I said. Nothing.

Yeah because blonde leads to cardiovascular disease and diabetes.

Honestly - do you think this even is remotely the same thing?

Either does a BMI of 25.7

[Anonymous]

Man, white people are hilarious!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son came home blonde his junior year. You know what I said. Nothing.

Yeah because blonde leads to cardiovascular disease and diabetes.

Honestly - do you think this even is remotely the same thing?

Either does a BMI of 25.7

That’s the point. Leave that poor boy alone. Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. A lot of you are giving OP a hard time with a concern she had - it's a valid one. She is not fatphobic - she's just concerned at the amount of weight put on in such a short period of time.

I'd like to think I'm close enough to my kids to at least voice the concern - in a nonjudgmental way. She can literally say "I know you're an adult and you can manage on your own, but I'm your mom and I wanted to discuss my concern. You've gained a lot of weight in a short period of time - are you stressed out? Can I help you with anything? Is it a concern for you? I love you and want you to be healthy and I know it's awkward but I wanted you to know that I'm here if you need me." and then open the convo.

Do you ppl not have conversations with your kids when they turn into adults? You can talk to them you know. Just because they're adults doesn't mean that all convos are off the table and if there's anyone that you should feel comfortable being open with awkward topics it should be your family if it's not a toxic unhealthy environment.

Ugh, this is such transparent concern trolling that I can't imagine any college freshman (or anyone, really) NOT being totally disgusted by it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He’s drinking a lot of beer. If he seems happy overall and is doing well in school, I’d do nothing.

Unless you know his muscle mass and diet/nutrition it’s really hard to say if his weight is OK or he’s overweight and moving towards obese w another 40 pounds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s drinking a lot of beer. If he seems happy overall and is doing well in school, I’d do nothing.

Unless you know his muscle mass and diet/nutrition it’s really hard to say if his weight is OK or he’s overweight and moving towards obese w another 40 pounds.

40 lol sure

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I kinda feel for the OP. 25lbs in one year at college is a lot. I will say this, your son is very aware of the fact he is bigger, most likely he has outgrown most of clothes and his guy friends have definitely pointed it out to him (guys at that age can be so cruel LOL).

Leave him alone for now, if he continues to gain weight and is genuinely becoming unhealthy/negatively impacting his quality of life, I would say something then.

For now, leave him alone. 200lbs at 6'2" is nothing crazy. I would start getting worried if he goes above 225 or something.

Sounds like you have a well-adjusted kid, don't take it for granted!

Haha eh, or maybe not…he might kind of be in denial of how different he looks. Chances are he’ll come to the realization himself eventually and either decide he cares enough to do something about it or not…and you can’t control that

As for if you say something now, it totally depends on the type of relationship you have and what kind of person he is. But based on your post I lean towards not

[Anonymous]

Haha. This happened with me, ~15 years ago. I came home for Christmas my freshman year and my mom greeted me with a jovial, “wow, [name]! You really put on a few!” It amused me then and it still does now, and honestly we still laugh about it / I thank her for cuing me into the fact that I really had put on some noticeable weight and needed to get my butt in gear. But that’s how our relationship is, I guess it’s not necessarily advice I’d throw out across the board without knowing you or your son. I am 35M and was a (Division 3) college athlete fwiw, I was working out but was drinking and eating enough to counteract it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man, white people are hilarious!

Why do you see EVERYTHING through the lense of race???