New to Are: How to Meet Families?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have found a severe lack of community and just a lack of social connections in this area. People are too busy with work or driving their kids around to their activities. No one has time to socialize. Many parents are also working on weekends or running errands. This is just the culture here. Families just stick to themselves and if you are ok with that, then the DMV is a great place to raise kids. If you’re looking for a close knit community where people get together and unwind on weekends, you probably won’t find it here.

I agree with this. We were only there about two years but it’s shocking that in two years I had neighbors with kids who never once said hello. No introductions, nothing. It’s just weird. I was an early morning jogger, and I started passing another woman jogging at the same hour, couldn’t even make eye contact to say hello.

We moved back to NC triangle and it’s much friendlier. Kids are still over scheduled but people are just nicer. Occasionally you meet rude unfriendly people and almost invariably they are from DC area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have found a severe lack of community and just a lack of social connections in this area. People are too busy with work or driving their kids around to their activities. No one has time to socialize. Many parents are also working on weekends or running errands. This is just the culture here. Families just stick to themselves and if you are ok with that, then the DMV is a great place to raise kids. If you’re looking for a close knit community where people get together and unwind on weekends, you probably won’t find it here.

I agree with this. We were only there about two years but it’s shocking that in two years I had neighbors with kids who never once said hello. No introductions, nothing. It’s just weird. I was an early morning jogger, and I started passing another woman jogging at the same hour, couldn’t even make eye contact to say hello.

We moved back to NC triangle and it’s much friendlier. Kids are still over scheduled but people are just nicer. Occasionally you meet rude unfriendly people and almost invariably they are from DC area.

Poor you

[Anonymous]

Sorry, OP. This one of the reasons we moved out of DC and to central VA. Sure we miss the amenities and food, but I couldn’t deal with people booking play dates six weeks (!!) in advance.

Where I live, I made friends quickly and we’re literally going to the BEACH together next week…booked last week!

In DC I couldn’t get people together for dinner let alone a trip to the beach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have found a severe lack of community and just a lack of social connections in this area. People are too busy with work or driving their kids around to their activities. No one has time to socialize. Many parents are also working on weekends or running errands. This is just the culture here. Families just stick to themselves and if you are ok with that, then the DMV is a great place to raise kids. If you’re looking for a close knit community where people get together and unwind on weekends, you probably won’t find it here.

I agree with this. We were only there about two years but it’s shocking that in two years I had neighbors with kids who never once said hello. No introductions, nothing. It’s just weird. I was an early morning jogger, and I started passing another woman jogging at the same hour, couldn’t even make eye contact to say hello.

We moved back to NC triangle and it’s much friendlier. Kids are still over scheduled but people are just nicer. Occasionally you meet rude unfriendly people and almost invariably they are from DC area.

Poor you

And there you go

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't understand why people insist this is a DC thing. My sister lives in a suburb of Denver and the people there are insane. The activities and the competitiveness put us all to shame IMO. Although they don't care as much about academics. But I don't see it as any more relaxed.

They dumb dough

Denver is a highly educated place.

[Anonymous]

I wanted my kids to have normal childhood like I had. Riding bikes, knocking on neighbors' doors to see if Johnny or Sally could play, etc. We left Montgomery County and moved to Oregon. Gorgeous state and friendly welcoming neighbors. The idea of scheduling a "play-date" was abhorrent to me. That is not a childhood. Plus, the same-size house cost half as much!

[Anonymous]

I found a great community through church. parachurch organizations like MOPs work well, too. Only a quick prayer, and they usually talk about universal topics.

[Anonymous]

DP. Also fairfax area. Our whole neighborhood hangs at the closest local pool all summer. Do you have one?

[Anonymous]

I find it interesting that ppl who move out of the area still post here! Maybe looking forward to affirming that they made the right decisions. Or finding ways to disparage dc to make themselves feel better about not being able to cut it in dc.

Posts disparaging a place is always a red flag. It’s narrow minded and disrespectful to the ppl and communities who have always lived there. It’s ok to say that a place was not a good fit for you and your family. Wholesale trashing a place and taking it so personally that it didn’t work for you is more a reflection on you than the place.

[Anonymous]

They social misfits everywhere they go

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would focus on the people who live near to you. Invite them a few times for low-key stuff like pizza and hanging out.

If anyone asks you for help with childcare, picking up a kid when they are in a pinch, etc., step right up. This is a great way to befriend people. If the school has any half days, it's great to offer to the other moms that you can take their kids for the half day.

Have you joined the PTA? That can be a good way.

This is great advice. We moved to a new neighborhood and I have found that volunteering and being the village you hope to create for other people goes a loooooong way. Offer to watch the kids at your house after an early dismissal day.

Offering to watch the kids at your house on an early dismissal day gives a signal to the user parents that they can use you and your family for free childcare. Believe me, there are plenty of user parents and fake nice people in every neighborhood. I find it hilarious because I live in one of these frequently mentioned "old-school" neighborhoods. It's incredibly cliquish and plenty of the moms and dads are just generally not nice people, despite how they may present themselves initially. First - many of these neighborhood friend groups form when the children are babies and toddlers and there is more free time. By the time the kids are elementary aged, the groups have usually had some sort of falling out combined with kids getting older and developing their own interests and activities. I have mid-aged elementary kids and they are over scheduled, but it's activities that they enjoy so it is what is is. Unfortunately, it makes it hard to meet newer families because we have some sort of activity most every evening. I do recommend summer swim if you have access to a pool.

The DC area is extremely competitive. Since elementary school, most of our friends we've met have been through activities (sports, scouts, etc.). We had previously met many people through our neighborhood, but over time you start to realize that you don't actually like many of those people - and you don't need to be friends simply because you live in the same neighborhood and have kids similar ages. Also, over time many of the impromptu neighborhood get togethers have slowed down because of scheduled activities - you're just not around in the elementary through high school years.

[Anonymous]

We moved to the Delaware beaches area. Like another poster said, my kids are now having a real childhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We moved to the Delaware beaches area. Like another poster said, my kids are now having a real childhood.

Bye Felicia

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We moved to the Delaware beaches area. Like another poster said, my kids are now having a real childhood.

I am considering this. What areas would you recommend?

[Anonymous]

Who is Felicia?
I guess another miserable DCUM mom.