First grade boy is always hyped up/annoying

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:List all of the snacks that work for your energetic boy, please!

Anything, really.

Fruit. Cheese and crackers. Toast with pb. Greek yogurt and low sugar granola. Half of a PBJ. Pretzels and hummus. Carrot sticks. Trail mix.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:List all of the snacks that work for your energetic boy, please!

Anything, really.

Fruit. Cheese and crackers. Toast with pb. Greek yogurt and low sugar granola. Half of a PBJ. Pretzels and hummus. Carrot sticks. Trail mix.

My kid can’t or won’t eat half of these things. We’ve done feeding therapy to address extremely picky eating, but there are food restrictions in play as well.

[Anonymous]

You will need to spend more time observing him in groups of boys his age to gauge whether it’s normal 7 yr old behavior or something else.

My boys seem silly and loud and energetic to me - but some of their friends are like 10x or 100x more so. Even with my 1st grader you can tell the kids who are silly and excited, but can control themselves if needed and the kids who are out of control - who can’t seem to calm down even if they wanted to. The latter are the ADHD and other diagnoses kids. Almost all 6-7 yr old boys are silly when they are together, but watching my 10 yr old, most of them outgrow it or at least learn what is appropriate for various situations. At 10, I watch the ones that didn’t outgrow it start to annoy their peers, repeat silly words or jokes long past the point of being funny, and don’t really “read the room”.

When my oldest was 7, I probably would not have correctly predicted who would calm down with age. Now that I have a 10yr old I can look at my 7yr old’s friend and have a good hunch which kids are which.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:List all of the snacks that work for your energetic boy, please!

Anything, really.

Fruit. Cheese and crackers. Toast with pb. Greek yogurt and low sugar granola. Half of a PBJ. Pretzels and hummus. Carrot sticks. Trail mix.

My kid can’t or won’t eat half of these things. We’ve done feeding therapy to address extremely picky eating, but there are food restrictions in play as well.

Then give them the other half of those things.

[Anonymous]

It’s not just the boys. In fact, the girls can be worse!

- Girl Scout leader

[Anonymous]

My eldest 7 year old is more annoying/energetic/extroverted than my 2 and 4 year olds combined.

[Anonymous]

Educator chiming in here. I’ve worked with thousands of kids over the years. No, it’s not uncommon to have kids this age get wound up or have “annoying energy.” It’s not exactly typical either. Over time this type of behavior does annoy peers, which causes some degree of social marginalization. It also tends to become a problem in the classroom.

Some kids learn social cues and self regulation strategies by observing others. It’s much the same way that some percent of kids are natural readers. Don’t assume that they’ll all just figure it out eventually. Target the behaviors that are most problematic and start teaching different ways of doing things. Then actively intervene with reminders, redirection, and consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Totally normal for us, but my 7 year old does have diagnosed adhd. But I notice his friends who I think are NT have similar personalities, lots of silliness and lots of energy. They usually know how to dial it back before my son does though. Boys that age are a lot to handle.

I came here to say the same. My son is 8.5 with adhd and is just like you describe- annoying high pitched fake laugh , over the top silliness, trouble reading social cues that his friends think he is being weird instead of funny. Every year he does mature a little bit more, but so do his NT friends. And since adhd boys tend to lag a year or two in social skills, and my kid is already an August birthday who we didn’t hold back, the social stuff seems more noticeable for sure.

And no I don’t wish I’d held him back, he was reading Harry Potter on his own and doing long addition and subtraction in his head when he started K, he would have been even more bored and even more of a handful if we’d held him back, I can’t even imagine. His cogat was 99% across the board for grade last year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else deal with this and do they grow out of it? my almost 7 year old is doing well at school, has never gotten really gotten into trouble before, is well liked and has a lot of friends but I find him to be a lot to handle. We did a play date today with a friend and he was so hyped up and just has the most annoying energy- running so fast, making annoying and silly faces, making a mess like breaking his plastic fork at lunch, just sooooo much energy and losing his mind with listening.. We deal with this a lot and have tried many things. It’s like a weird mood takes over. I would say it seems like he has aDHD but he holds it together most of the time at school. If your kid was like this at 6/7 did they eventually grow out of it and when? He’s just a lot anywhere I take him. He’s also the oldest. His little brother is much calmer but he will get all riled up when he’s with my older one.

Sounds like he would benefit from a sport outlet!!! Swim team? Basketball? My boy needed to be outside riding his bike for hours at that age. Parent the child you have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Educator chiming in here. I’ve worked with thousands of kids over the years. No, it’s not uncommon to have kids this age get wound up or have “annoying energy.” It’s not exactly typical either. Over time this type of behavior does annoy peers, which causes some degree of social marginalization. It also tends to become a problem in the classroom.

Some kids learn social cues and self regulation strategies by observing others. It’s much the same way that some percent of kids are natural readers. Don’t assume that they’ll all just figure it out eventually. Target the behaviors that are most problematic and start teaching different ways of doing things. Then actively intervene with reminders, redirection, and consequences.

Can I ask you a question? I just posted about my 8.5 year old. I want to step in when I see he is being too silly with his friends and that they are starting to side eye each other as he goofs off. Because I want to correct it in the moment. But I feel like he is getting too old for me to do that. Wouldn’t me pulling him aside and saying “hey Larlo when you make your silly fake laugh like that, did you notice how your friends weren’t smiling and laughing? That means they don’t think it’s funny. It’s time to dial it down.” just make him look even more of an outsider?

This is an honest question- I am always looking for the best way to help him. He used to attend a social skills group but he did fine in that group and “graduated”, because in that group setting he wasn’t overstimulated or over excited.

[Anonymous]

Can I ask you a question? I just posted about my 8.5 year old. I want to step in when I see he is being too silly with his friends and that they are starting to side eye each other as he goofs off. Because I want to correct it in the moment. But I feel like he is getting too old for me to do that. Wouldn’t me pulling him aside and saying “hey Larlo when you make your silly fake laugh like that, did you notice how your friends weren’t smiling and laughing? That means they don’t think it’s funny. It’s time to dial it down.” just make him look even more of an outsider?

This is an honest question- I am always looking for the best way to help him. He used to attend a social skills group but he did fine in that group and “graduated”, because in that group setting he wasn’t overstimulated or over excited.

My suggestion (and I am not a mental health or social skills expert) is to take a two-pronged approach. Away from peers start teaching about what “too silly” looks like—as in what might he notice from others if he’s crossed a line. Make it a lighthearted bit of general instruction, not an admonishment for a particular incident. You’ll also have to teach replacement behaviors. Maybe your kid can initiate a running-based game to help get extra energy out. Perhaps he learns to excuse himself for a water break if he feels too wound up. Maybe he has a kid-appropriate joke book he can pull some acceptable zingers out of. Obviously, the particular replacement behaviors have to fit your child’s personality and the types of settings where he tends to run into social difficulty.

In the moment, you can help by giving your kid a break from his friends. Cheerfully call him into another room for a particular task. The task could be something like bringing drinks to his friends or bringing a fun toy/game outside as a play option. Maybe you just say “I just wanted to let you know you have 45 minutes left before Larlo needs to go home,” or “I found this pack of gum. Would you like to share it with your friends?” Choose whatever interrupts the behavior and gives the other kids a break for a minute without embarrassing your child. So that he can save face with peers, always send him back with something to give/share with friends or a plausible reason why you needed him and needed to interrupt at that moment.

If getting your kid to take a break isn’t enough to help him regulate, you might then start giving more feedback during the break. Tell him, very kindly, that it looks like maybe he’s in too-silly mode and that he needs to use one of the strategies you’ve taught him.

Prevention can help too. Some children have difficulty filling unstructured time. Your kid might do better on play dates if you set up particular activities—building a LEGO model followed by a bike ride; playing basketball; a backyard water balloon fight.

[Anonymous]

Why’d you have kids? This is how kids are—boy or girl any elementary age. Had you never been around kids before when you decided to have your own?

That you think your kid is annoying when they’re just acting like a normal kid is really sad.

[Anonymous]

The average adult laughs 17 times a day while a child laughs 300 times a day.

They have so much energy to be silly and laugh a lot. They eventually have to stress about grades, college applications, jobs and they become their parents!

Let them be, now if you start getting calls from their teachers, then worry!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Can I ask you a question? I just posted about my 8.5 year old. I want to step in when I see he is being too silly with his friends and that they are starting to side eye each other as he goofs off. Because I want to correct it in the moment. But I feel like he is getting too old for me to do that. Wouldn’t me pulling him aside and saying “hey Larlo when you make your silly fake laugh like that, did you notice how your friends weren’t smiling and laughing? That means they don’t think it’s funny. It’s time to dial it down.” just make him look even more of an outsider?

This is an honest question- I am always looking for the best way to help him. He used to attend a social skills group but he did fine in that group and “graduated”, because in that group setting he wasn’t overstimulated or over excited.

My suggestion (and I am not a mental health or social skills expert) is to take a two-pronged approach. Away from peers start teaching about what “too silly” looks like—as in what might he notice from others if he’s crossed a line. Make it a lighthearted bit of general instruction, not an admonishment for a particular incident. You’ll also have to teach replacement behaviors. Maybe your kid can initiate a running-based game to help get extra energy out. Perhaps he learns to excuse himself for a water break if he feels too wound up. Maybe he has a kid-appropriate joke book he can pull some acceptable zingers out of. Obviously, the particular replacement behaviors have to fit your child’s personality and the types of settings where he tends to run into social difficulty.

In the moment, you can help by giving your kid a break from his friends. Cheerfully call him into another room for a particular task. The task could be something like bringing drinks to his friends or bringing a fun toy/game outside as a play option. Maybe you just say “I just wanted to let you know you have 45 minutes left before Larlo needs to go home,” or “I found this pack of gum. Would you like to share it with your friends?” Choose whatever interrupts the behavior and gives the other kids a break for a minute without embarrassing your child. So that he can save face with peers, always send him back with something to give/share with friends or a plausible reason why you needed him and needed to interrupt at that moment.

If getting your kid to take a break isn’t enough to help him regulate, you might then start giving more feedback during the break. Tell him, very kindly, that it looks like maybe he’s in too-silly mode and that he needs to use one of the strategies you’ve taught him.

Prevention can help too. Some children have difficulty filling unstructured time. Your kid might do better on play dates if you set up particular activities—building a LEGO model followed by a bike ride; playing basketball; a backyard water balloon fight.

Thank you so much for your thoughtful response! It is unstructured group settings where he appears (to me) uncomfortable and starts doing his immature class clown routine. I actually limit unstructured group playdates when I can, and he actually declines them on his own most of the time. I think he senses they make him feel too wound up. I love your idea of pulling him aside for a quick task just so he can self regulate for a moment.