My girlfriend is upset because my friends tagged along on 2 of our dates

[Anonymous]

Is your friend Dr Sheldon Cooper? Only reason I can think of for him to join your date.

Seems like a troll post to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Based on your description, she had plans to meet with a friend (without you) that fell through, so clearly there isn’t a “spend time with me and only me” dynamic or expectation.

Given that, it would seem there’s something else going on here. Is this the first time she’s acted this way?

Right, but the plan was to have a date (alone) the first night, then they each see friends the second night. He made the first night into a group hang without her input, which she didn't love but didn't make a huge deal out of. But then when the friend canceled the next night and he offered to have their alone date then, everything would have been back to even, except OP's friend said "nah, j/k, I'm coming through anyway" and OP invited him on their date . . . again. After asking if it was okay and getting the response "are you serious or is this a funny test?" OP either 1) doesn't like his "girlfriend" very much, or 2) is too stupid to function in the world.

[Anonymous]

You didn’t prioritize her or your relationship, plain and simple. Long distance takes work, and you both have to be willing to put your “regular” single life aside a bit when you can get time together, while balancing integrating your partner into that life.

[Anonymous]

OP seems about as committed to his girlfriend as he is to this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your girlfriend is right in this situation. She conveyed she wanted one on one time and let the first night go. You should have read the room. Apologize and be more considerate.

I would dump you.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Based on your description, she had plans to meet with a friend (without you) that fell through, so clearly there isn’t a “spend time with me and only me” dynamic or expectation.

Given that, it would seem there’s something else going on here. Is this the first time she’s acted this way?

Right, but the plan was to have a date (alone) the first night, then they each see friends the second night. He made the first night into a group hang without her input, which she didn't love but didn't make a huge deal out of. But then when the friend canceled the next night and he offered to have their alone date then, everything would have been back to even, except OP's friend said "nah, j/k, I'm coming through anyway" and OP invited him on their date . . . again. After asking if it was okay and getting the response "are you serious or is this a funny test?" OP either 1) doesn't like his "girlfriend" very much, or 2) is too stupid to function in the world.

Also, the GF is coming into town briefly, and OP lives here. It's different for her to take a few hours to see a friend while thinking he was doing the same, but he can see friends any time, any where, for however long. It's different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I drove 3 hours to see my boyfriend that I hadn't seen it 2 months, I would be completely annoyed. She didn't go to all that trouble to see some randos. Maybe one drink the first night, but on the second day it was rude on your part to not put her first. You clearly gave her the message that one on one time was not that important to you. If you saw each other all the time, this wouldn't be such a big deal, but in this context, you were extremely inconsiderate in my opinion,

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did I read this correctly?:
Haven’t seen Gf for 2 months.
She flies or drives in to town for the weekend
You have your Bros tag along on your dinner or drink dates.

Why? How long?

You either want her to know your friends, hopefully briefly considering the circumstances. Or you want to avoid 1:1 time with her or meaningful conversations so invite your friends.

Bad manners on your part Op. yuck.

+1. Accurate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Based on your description, she had plans to meet with a friend (without you) that fell through, so clearly there isn’t a “spend time with me and only me” dynamic or expectation.

Given that, it would seem there’s something else going on here. Is this the first time she’s acted this way?

Right, but the plan was to have a date (alone) the first night, then they each see friends the second night. He made the first night into a group hang without her input, which she didn't love but didn't make a huge deal out of. But then when the friend canceled the next night and he offered to have their alone date then, everything would have been back to even, except OP's friend said "nah, j/k, I'm coming through anyway" and OP invited him on their date . . . again. After asking if it was okay and getting the response "are you serious or is this a funny test?" OP either 1) doesn't like his "girlfriend" very much, or 2) is too stupid to function in the world.

Also, the GF is coming into town briefly, and OP lives here. It's different for her to take a few hours to see a friend while thinking he was doing the same, but he can see friends any time, any where, for however long. It's different.

She had promised to see this friend who has a kid about a month ago but they both had to reschedule a few times because one got sick, one had to cancel because of work, so they finally planned on seeing each other this past weekend…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did I read this correctly?:
Haven’t seen Gf for 2 months.
She flies or drives in to town for the weekend
You have your Bros tag along on your dinner or drink dates.

Why? How long?

You either want her to know your friends, hopefully briefly considering the circumstances. Or you want to avoid 1:1 time with her or meaningful conversations so invite your friends.

Bad manners on your part Op. yuck.

I absolutely didn’t want to avoid 1:1 one with her. I was fine with either situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Based on your description, she had plans to meet with a friend (without you) that fell through, so clearly there isn’t a “spend time with me and only me” dynamic or expectation.

Given that, it would seem there’s something else going on here. Is this the first time she’s acted this way?

Right, but the plan was to have a date (alone) the first night, then they each see friends the second night. He made the first night into a group hang without her input, which she didn't love but didn't make a huge deal out of. But then when the friend canceled the next night and he offered to have their alone date then, everything would have been back to even, except OP's friend said "nah, j/k, I'm coming through anyway" and OP invited him on their date . . . again. After asking if it was okay and getting the response "are you serious or is this a funny test?" OP either 1) doesn't like his "girlfriend" very much, or 2) is too stupid to function in the world.

Also, the GF is coming into town briefly, and OP lives here. It's different for her to take a few hours to see a friend while thinking he was doing the same, but he can see friends any time, any where, for however long. It's different.

She had promised to see this friend who has a kid about a month ago but they both had to reschedule a few times because one got sick, one had to cancel because of work, so they finally planned on seeing each other this past weekend…

So what Op. your bro would have understood. Did they even have a good time as a third wheel on your long distance date night? Or are you all 23 yo and drinking up a storm?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did I read this correctly?:
Haven’t seen Gf for 2 months.
She flies or drives in to town for the weekend
You have your Bros tag along on your dinner or drink dates.

Why? How long?

You either want her to know your friends, hopefully briefly considering the circumstances. Or you want to avoid 1:1 time with her or meaningful conversations so invite your friends.

Bad manners on your part Op. yuck.

I absolutely didn’t want to avoid 1:1 one with her. I was fine with either situation.

You were “fine” with what two situations? Time with just her since something frees up OR having your friend there for once or both times?

I def would date you if you were fine with either, can’t prioritize, and don’t care Wtf is going on.

Are you this passive in all aspects of your life??

[Anonymous]

Why haven't you seen each other in 2 months?

Not over the holidays?

3 hours should be like an every weekend drive to the other person's town. What gives?

[Anonymous]

I think the girlfriend started the thread so she could show it to her BF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the girlfriend started the thread so she could show it to her BF.

Not sure it matters. The guy sounds indecisive and can’t prioritize things so just watches.