Spending extra time with teen who doesn’t have a social life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I posted earlier but one thing I just remembered is that my DD sometimes wants to do silly things she sees on TikTok and I have willingly been a Guinea pig! The most recent one is she wants to try making “healthy Coke” which is club soda, lemon, and balsamic vinegar. Once we did the thing where you go through a fast food drive thru and order “the same thing the previous car ordered,” just for the surprise. Just silly stuff like that. It’s good bonding time.

I look forward to seeing your mother-daughter tiktok dance videos . I will be very jealous, though.

[Anonymous]

Someone mentioned working- I think this is a great idea. If she is old enough this summer, have her be a counselor in one of the local day camps- the camp leaders bond with other councelors that they might not necessarily get to know at school. My DD made some great friends doing this and it's way better than having them hang out without anything to do other than social media (which only makes them feel worse).

[Anonymous]

What makes it difficult for your kids to make friends? My DD is the same, and she has social anxiety, but I’m wondering about others.

My DD and I drive around and listen to music quite a bit. It’s the one thing she is always agreeable to.

[Anonymous]

Agree that she should get a job or regular volunteer gig.
Other ideas: pickleball, ice skating, swimming (most municipalities have indoor pools that are not too expensive), rock climbing, zumba. Look into your local parks and recreation department!

[Anonymous]

Boating, hiking, gardening. Day trips on the weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boating, hiking, gardening. Day trips on the weekend.

Hiking is great! And good for mental health.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you for offering so many helpful suggestions. I’ll definitely be giving some of these a try. Hopefully I can help fill some of her time and ease the pain of loneliness a bit.

[Anonymous]

I just want to say that neither of my two kids have any particular challenge, but still stayed home every weekend. They had friends at school, and one of them would have liked to do more I think, but they just didn’t. And one is fairly popular and still doesn’t. We do a lot of things people mentioned. And sing a lot of Broadway tunes. So don’t think that everyone is out all the time and there’s something really wrong with your kid because they’re home.

[Anonymous]

You're a good mom!

I agree with a job. Also, we belong to a YMCA. That's not free ... but once you've bought a membership, the classes are. My daughter will go to yoga with me, or sometimes, we'll go together but then each do our own thing once we get there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone mentioned working- I think this is a great idea. If she is old enough this summer, have her be a counselor in one of the local day camps- the camp leaders bond with other councelors that they might not necessarily get to know at school. My DD made some great friends doing this and it's way better than having them hang out without anything to do other than social media (which only makes them feel worse).

These are great ideas. Sometimes late bloomers in particular get a lot of of working with kids at campus or babysitting because it allows them to play with toys and games that they themselves might not be totally ready to leave behind.
As long as they're mature enough to be a good caretaker that is. I recommend taking a Red Cross babysitting class first.

I also recommend Girl Scouts. You can try to find a troop or she can sign up as a non-troop affiliated Juliette and work on badges on her own (a set of activities that you can advise her on together) but also have access to events through the Girl Scouts council. There's something for everyone, whether outdoorsy, engineering, babysitting, artsy, and the local council often post volunteer opportunities both for teens and adults, so you can also be involved.

[Anonymous]

Easy outdoor hikes. You might try to find a local meet up or hiking group through REI etc. This way you can just pop in to something someone else organized rather than always have the pressure to figure out locations/trails/difficulty yourself.
Plus, it's nice to do an activity with other people - good exposure socially and a nice mix and match with your one-on-one time.

[Anonymous]

Use this time to teach her skills she'll need as an adult. Cooking, doing laundry, budgeting. May help her self esteem as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m planning to subscribe to Hello Fresh this summer, turn off the Wifi and cook with my teen this summer.

That's awesome. Have fun.

[Anonymous]

I think we live in a great area in DC for free activities!

I like to watch movies with my kids. During the pandemic we watched the Marvel movies in chronological order together which was fun.

[Anonymous]

Cooking
Baking
Volunteering
Hiking
Taking a class (painting, self-defense/martial arts, belly dance, whatever)
Running/training for a race