Guy at gym won’t leave me alone—tactful responses?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t give excuses and reasons. Say clearly: do not speak to me. Stop approaching me. Then tell the management that he is bothering you. There is no need to be gentle or polite. He is not entitled to your time or attention.

Yeah good point you should report him.

[Anonymous]

I had a similar situation with a guy at my gym. Initially I just noticed him constantly looking at him, then he tried to introduce himself once, but I just put on chalk so I did not shake his hand. That did not put him off. He figured out when I go and was there basically every time. Then I changed my gym time (for different reasons) from am to pm. It took him a few months to figure out but now he is a PM regular. At some point he started to compliment me on my form and then he tried to share every piece of equipment I was using at the same time. I am Eastern European with quite the RBF but that did obviously not put him off. As suggested by many here, I had to take the rude route. Once when he wanted to deadlift with him I told him he can have the other platform for himself and next day I just walked off when he asked me if he can work in with me on the pull-up bar. I started wearing a silicone ring and I act like he does not exist when he is walking by. I was also a bit worried about him turning aggressive but for now he seems to have gotten the hint and backed off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How are gyms surviving?

I set up a home gym in my basement during covid. Frankly I don’t know why i didn’t do it to begin with

Because most people are social creatures and want and also need in-person social interactions with others, it keeps them from becoming sociopaths. Just look at what's going on in the news. Total lack of humanity which stems from 2+ years of social isolation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been working out for over a decade and this is the first time I’ve encountered this. There are “regulars” at my gym and everyone is polite, but we are there to work out and that’s it—nobody is social. This guy is also a “regular” too, so I’m not sure why he’s suddenly fixated on me. It all started earlier this week when he jokingly came up to me to tell me he knows I could get a couple more reps out. I had to pause my music and stop to even hear him, and then laughed and got back to business. Later he came up to me on a different machine and much of the same. He noticed my silicone wedding band, I saw him see it. It didn’t stop him from commenting on my body. I was sort of in shocked and froze, I didn’t know how to respond so I didn’t. Mistake. Today he came up to me on a different machine and tried to correct my form, telling me if I did X my glutes would appreciate it. Again I had to stop my music and exercise to stare blankly at him.

Now I don’t even want to go! I don’t want to be rude because I have to go to the gym! I don’t want it to be weird, even though it’s weird. What would you say to this man?

OP - just tell him "thank you, but I really need you to stop interrupting my workouts"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How are gyms surviving?

I set up a home gym in my basement during covid. Frankly I don’t know why i didn’t do it to begin with

The gyms are PACKED. I have enough equipment at home to get a workout in at home but I literally never use it. I like to get out of the house and work out with other people around. And obviously I get a much better choice of equipment. It does come with some annoyances, including creepy dudes, but for me the benefits way outweigh the costs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been working out for over a decade and this is the first time I’ve encountered this. There are “regulars” at my gym and everyone is polite, but we are there to work out and that’s it—nobody is social. This guy is also a “regular” too, so I’m not sure why he’s suddenly fixated on me. It all started earlier this week when he jokingly came up to me to tell me he knows I could get a couple more reps out. I had to pause my music and stop to even hear him, and then laughed and got back to business. Later he came up to me on a different machine and much of the same. He noticed my silicone wedding band, I saw him see it. It didn’t stop him from commenting on my body. I was sort of in shocked and froze, I didn’t know how to respond so I didn’t. Mistake. Today he came up to me on a different machine and tried to correct my form, telling me if I did X my glutes would appreciate it. Again I had to stop my music and exercise to stare blankly at him.

Now I don’t even want to go! I don’t want to be rude because I have to go to the gym! I don’t want it to be weird, even though it’s weird. What would you say to this man?

OP - just tell him "thank you, but I really need you to stop interrupting my workouts"

I would skip the thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just can't believe that people go through life saying the words "squat rack" with a straight face.

I’m assuming you’re morbidly obese. It’s a squat rack. Try it.

I'm trying it now! "Squat rack, squat rack; sure do love my squat rack." "Can't wait 'til I squat with my squat rack today!" "Isn't that just the squattiest rack you've ever seen? I could squat all night."

[Anonymous]

Report him to security

[Anonymous]

I'd go directly to the management and tell them about this. Completely stop interacting with him. This is unacceptable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just can't believe that people go through life saying the words "squat rack" with a straight face.

I’m assuming you’re morbidly obese. It’s a squat rack. Try it.

I'm trying it now! "Squat rack, squat rack; sure do love my squat rack." "Can't wait 'til I squat with my squat rack today!" "Isn't that just the squattiest rack you've ever seen? I could squat all night."

I mean, what point are you trying to make? I feel like you’re trying to do something, but I don’t know what. Enlighten us all, please. I’ve never heard of it called anything else.

[Anonymous]

Don't bother stopping your music. You want that to be the cue for him, but it isn't. And it no longer is for most people since everyone is always listening to stuff and we're all slowly getting used to the need to do this to interact. I understand wanting this to stop without a direct "confrontation", even though many people are fine with that and that's what they would do. For me, the easy way out here is when he says something to you and you can't hear it, I would give a vague smile and keep doing what I'm doing. In other words, you just don't engage. This always works for me and isn't nearly as awkward as you would think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been working out for over a decade and this is the first time I’ve encountered this. There are “regulars” at my gym and everyone is polite, but we are there to work out and that’s it—nobody is social. This guy is also a “regular” too, so I’m not sure why he’s suddenly fixated on me. It all started earlier this week when he jokingly came up to me to tell me he knows I could get a couple more reps out. I had to pause my music and stop to even hear him, and then laughed and got back to business. Later he came up to me on a different machine and much of the same. He noticed my silicone wedding band, I saw him see it. It didn’t stop him from commenting on my body. I was sort of in shocked and froze, I didn’t know how to respond so I didn’t. Mistake. Today he came up to me on a different machine and tried to correct my form, telling me if I did X my glutes would appreciate it. Again I had to stop my music and exercise to stare blankly at him.

Now I don’t even want to go! I don’t want to be rude because I have to go to the gym! I don’t want it to be weird, even though it’s weird. What would you say to this man?

OP - just tell him "thank you, but I really need you to stop interrupting my workouts"

I would skip the thank you.

You're right - thank you for the correction. "I really need you to stop interrupting my workouts". DONE. then put your airpods back in your ear and go back to your workout. If after that he still doesn't get the message then report him.

[Anonymous]

I point to my headphones, scowl, and say "I'm not interested in feedback" without taking them off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Report him to security

Oh god

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When someone is not being polite to you, you do not owe them politeness in return. Loudly tell him to stop interrupting your work outs. Loud enough other people can hear. "STOP COMMENTING ON MY BODY/WORKOUT" in a direct way.

If that doesn't get him to back off, go to a manger. Women put up with WAY too much crap from overbearing and RUDE men.

So much this! I tell my DD this all the time, but I admit that it's hard for me also.