Guy at gym won’t leave me alone—tactful responses?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Great advice so far !

If you do not want a confrontation for some reason, could you change your workout time ?

Does the gym have another location convenient to you ?

I am 100% in favor of telling this person that you do not want to be disturbed during your workout, you're happily married, & he is annoying you. Follow up with gym management. You may not be the first person that he has bothered at the gym.

This is so annoying. Why should she have to change her routine to avoid this obnoxious dude?

OP, I think you give him one chance to take the hint by saying (no smile) "Sorry but I don't want to be interrupted when I'm working out". If he interrupts you again after that, I would absolutely report it to the front desk people and let them deal with it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is where my natural RBF and anti-social nature comes in handy. I just frown, shake my head, point to my headphones. Then if he insists on talking after mention my husband frequently.

If he still won't back off after these signals, then yeah, you need to get more express. "Please do not interrupt my workout or give me tips."

I am the older woman. I really like this approach. Do not be accessible at all for talking or listening.

This. I’d point to my headphones and wave him off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Great advice so far !

If you do not want a confrontation for some reason, could you change your workout time ?

Does the gym have another location convenient to you ?

I am 100% in favor of telling this person that you do not want to be disturbed during your workout, you're happily married, & he is annoying you. Follow up with gym management. You may not be the first person that he has bothered at the gym.

X10000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are gyms surviving?

I set up a home gym in my basement during covid. Frankly I don’t know why i didn’t do it to begin with

I doubt you have all the weights and quality equipment unless you shelled out tens of thousands of dollars. You have a leg press? A squat rack? 45lb weights and under? A cable machine? A calf-raise machine? Abduction and induction machines? A lat-pull down machine? Leg curl machine?

Some of us take this seriously.

dp you can get a good workout without a squat rack, a cable machine, calf raise machine etc.

I guess it depends on your goal. I’m a female who “bodybuilds”. So are most of the people at my gym. We couldn’t afford to do what we do in the gym, at home. It’s just a very closed minded comment to make to say “how are they surviving”. They are surviving very well!

I understand for you need these equipment but, op didn't indicate that she was a body builder.

But more than half of most gyms are these heavy duty, expensive, bulky pieces of equipment. It’s so oddly myopic to think nobody uses them just because she doesn’t. I wait in line to use them daily!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here. He's a creep. Don't try to be tactful.

Honestly it’s probably time to change gyms because this guy seems unhinged to say things like that and directly rejecting may escalate him.

I kind of agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's totally out of line.

Don't be tactful - the cold shoulder and stares should have done that already. Some men need blunt to understand.

Next time he approaches you, say something very factual but blunt like, "I am trying to get my work out in and you are interrupting me, and frankly making me uncomfortable. I have a limited time here and need to get through this."

If he approaches you again, report it to the staff. I am serious.

+1

I’d keep it very, very short the next time he approaches you: “I’m here to work out, not to talk.” Put your hand up while you’re saying it, don’t even take your headphones out. No smile, minimal eye contact.

Tell the staff if that doesn’t work.

This! As the gals on My Favorite Murder say, “F politeness.”
If you have never listened, do. Too often women think they need to nice and well… it often doesn’t end well.

[Anonymous]

You are going to have to and should be rude if he doesn't respond to polite.

[Anonymous]

Try: "Please go away." It's polite (see "Please) but pithy and to the point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Great advice so far !

If you do not want a confrontation for some reason, could you change your workout time ?

Does the gym have another location convenient to you ?

I am 100% in favor of telling this person that you do not want to be disturbed during your workout, you're happily married, & he is annoying you. Follow up with gym management. You may not be the first person that he has bothered at the gym.

This is so annoying. Why should she have to change her routine to avoid this obnoxious dude?

OP, I think you give him one chance to take the hint by saying (no smile) "Sorry but I don't want to be interrupted when I'm working out". If he interrupts you again after that, I would absolutely report it to the front desk people and let them deal with it

I agree. But, you should reread my post which starts with: "If you do not want a confrontation for some reason...". For example, an earlier poster wondered if there might be a potential issue regarding race. Several other concerns, but I do not want to list them.

Again, we agree, but life is not always as simple or fair as we would like it to be. There may be complicating factors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are gyms surviving?

I set up a home gym in my basement during covid. Frankly I don’t know why i didn’t do it to begin with

I doubt you have all the weights and quality equipment unless you shelled out tens of thousands of dollars. You have a leg press? A squat rack? 45lb weights and under? A cable machine? A calf-raise machine? Abduction and induction machines? A lat-pull down machine? Leg curl machine?

Some of us take this seriously.

dp you can get a good workout without a squat rack, a cable machine, calf raise machine etc.

I guess it depends on your goal. I’m a female who “bodybuilds”. So are most of the people at my gym. We couldn’t afford to do what we do in the gym, at home. It’s just a very closed minded comment to make to say “how are they surviving”. They are surviving very well!

I understand for you need these equipment but, op didn't indicate that she was a body builder.

But more than half of most gyms are these heavy duty, expensive, bulky pieces of equipment. It’s so oddly myopic to think nobody uses them just because she doesn’t. I wait in line to use them daily!

Same here. And my gym has been PACKED lately. And I have a great home gym.

But there are some workouts that need equipment at the gym

[Anonymous]

Don’t give excuses and reasons. Say clearly: do not speak to me. Stop approaching me. Then tell the management that he is bothering you. There is no need to be gentle or polite. He is not entitled to your time or attention.

[Anonymous]

I just can't believe that people go through life saying the words "squat rack" with a straight face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just can't believe that people go through life saying the words "squat rack" with a straight face.

I’m assuming you’re morbidly obese. It’s a squat rack. Try it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am an older woman and I always fear crazies. I would never be very rude to anyone because I don't want to face any kind of violence. I want them to save face also.

I would politely say, "Thank you for your pointers. While I appreciate your tips, I lose momentum when I am interrupted while working out. I really do need my alone time here before I get back on my mom duties. Thanks for respecting my request. "

That is ... wordy as hell. And, he's making comments about OP's body. She does NOT appreciate that.

[Anonymous]

I just ignore people like that. Why even engage?