Annoyingness on Buy Nothing Groups

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not on a Buy Nothing group (I'm not on Facebook) but live in Capitol Hill and recently learned that the administration of the CH Buy Nothing group on Facebook was so toxic and draconian that a group of people splintered off and started a different group called Take My $hit that has literally no rules or administration and now has as many if not more members than the original group.

If admin of Buy Nothing groups is anything like admin of neighborhood parent list serves or certain school/activity parent groups I've been in, I can imagine it's awful. There is this small minority of people who live to order other people around and punish them for not following exacting rules that only exist to make them feel official and in control. And they make everyone else's life miserable. Worse, they often truly believe that they are the only reason anything ever happens, and that the rest of us rely on them to make our lives better. They don't realize that most of the time, good stuff happens in spite of their "organization efforts" and that most of us are functional adults who somehow manage to do okay without them the rest of the time.

I wish therapy were free and widely available.

Buy Nothing is a national organization. The Admins take training and agree to follow a set of national standardized rules. No animals or alcohol is allowed to be gifted. There are a lot of rules overall - but following them keeps the group running smoothly. I don’t know what happened in CH, but it’s equally possible that people didn’t like following some pretty reasonable rules and threw a hissy fit.

I don't believe this is true.

[Anonymous]

When we want to get rid of stuff, we just do a "curb alert" on the neighborhood list serve. No interaction needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When we want to get rid of stuff, we just do a "curb alert" on the neighborhood list serve. No interaction needed.

That is the point I'm at now. I really don't want to interact with anyone when trying to declutter my things. I don't give away junk. And I don't want to hear the sob stories that come along with the "Thanks for considering" messages or why it's "meant to be" for that person to have my ceramic fruit bowl because it is just like the one their aunt used to have. When I was in a BN group, my neighbor would often ask for my things and then I'd feel obligated to give to her (despite other people being interested) because it would be awkward if I didn't and then saw her out. And I hate having to "choose" someone. I also think most people are lying when they say they did a random number generator.

[Anonymous]

For the most part my local buy nothing group has been OK and I haven’t run into any rude people, but it’s the no shows that will make me not want to use it any more. About 30% of the people won’t show up or I’ll end up messaging back and forth with them for pick ups, or they change their minds and at least tell me or won’t respond to my messages when I ask if they are still interested after they were supposed to pick something up. It takes up a lot more time and mental effort than it’s worth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the most part my local buy nothing group has been OK and I haven’t run into any rude people, but it’s the no shows that will make me not want to use it any more. About 30% of the people won’t show up or I’ll end up messaging back and forth with them for pick ups, or they change their minds and at least tell me or won’t respond to my messages when I ask if they are still interested after they were supposed to pick something up. It takes up a lot more time and mental effort than it’s worth.

That is the annoying part and the people who grab at everything - some regift constantly. It annoys me when it's clear the product isn't going to work and you take it anyway. I had one person demanding I take it back. I stopped responding after saying to regift it.

[Anonymous]

My pet peeve is the person constantly rescheduling pick ups and writing a novella about it. I have little kids too so I get it. But I don’t need every detail. Tell me when you can come. I’ll put it on my doormat. I also don’t understand people who request items but never respond when youve replied they can have it. I don’t mind waiting a day, but after a bit I’m going to give it to the next person. Also let things simmer, yo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the most part my local buy nothing group has been OK and I haven’t run into any rude people, but it’s the no shows that will make me not want to use it any more. About 30% of the people won’t show up or I’ll end up messaging back and forth with them for pick ups, or they change their minds and at least tell me or won’t respond to my messages when I ask if they are still interested after they were supposed to pick something up. It takes up a lot more time and mental effort than it’s worth.

YES

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's against facebook rules to give/sell animals. Report them. (Well, if they're on facebook, I mean.)

And yes, I agree, I've come to despise our bn group. The same people want everything. But more than that, I hate the givers who basically say "entertain me, peasants, and should I deem your story worthy, you will be bestowed my treasures".

Yep. I'd report them to FB and the parent buy nothing.

Anyone who has half a brain knows that posting animals for free is a very bad idea.

I actually like the BN groups. But I do first come-first serve and never put crap on their. I have seen people put half opened jars of food or vitamins. Used bathing suits and bras. People took them. That's fine but not for me. Gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My pet peeve is the person constantly rescheduling pick ups and writing a novella about it. I have little kids too so I get it. But I don’t need every detail. Tell me when you can come. I’ll put it on my doormat. I also don’t understand people who request items but never respond when youve replied they can have it. I don’t mind waiting a day, but after a bit I’m going to give it to the next person. Also let things simmer, yo.

Yes, I had one lady who was always posting novels about her chronic illness for why she should get the item posted. And then when you do, claiming the illness is why she couldn't get the items. Her DH would sometimes come and then all of a sudden he was suffering from something too. It was almost too much information and I started to doubt her. But maybe she did. At the end of the day, this is partially for my own convenience so I just wasn't accommodating her picking things up days or weeks afterward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound annoying and exhausting. I have no issue with people posting wishes for things like a headboard.

I think most adoption rescue folks are irritating. [/b] Charging a fee is really gross[b] especially when some are charging as much as breeders do. And, the rules are crazy. Plus, it's very hard to get a dog that is small or gentle or hypoallergenic. Rehoming in a group like that isn't a great idea but its better then sending them to a shelter.

This has already been explained. Sorry you don’t like the truth. DP.

[Anonymous]

I love to post on my BN group that I'm cleaning out my deceased aunt's house and post pictures of high value items. Vintage toys worth a ton of money, hard to find collectibles, silk scarves, French antiques blah blah... then watch the BN hoes climb over one another for these items.

All items I never had to begin with.

Then post that it's been gifted.

[Anonymous]

Please report any BN group that tries to provide a platform for giving away animals. That's a sure fire way to send animals into the clutches of creeps with torture fetishes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please report any BN group that tries to provide a platform for giving away animals. That's a sure fire way to send animals into the clutches of creeps with torture fetishes.

I'm trying to, but I looked up FB rules and it seems like they now allow this?
If you can point me in the right direction, I would appreciate it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly you are putting way too much mental energy into this. Stop following it on facebook and getting updates. Just post stuff for free when you want to let it go and be glad it's not going in a landfill.

I have had the bad interactions with humane societies and will never use one again. I will be going straight to a breeder instead. I have kids and was told that they wouldn't consider someone who had a kid under 5. Another told me I'd need a fenced in yard. Another told me that they wanted a remote worker or a SAHM (I wfh 3 days a week, but that wasn't enough). My beloved dog who just passed away last year was given to me for free. At the time (graduated college and paychecks hadn't started yet) I wouldn't have been able to afford the high humane society fees. I think a group matching dogs with owners who want them for free is not a bad idea.

Yep. The first FOUR I contacted told me they wouldn’t give me a dog while I had a child under ten in the house. Many also insisted on a fence (that’s only $15k, no biggie) or a SAHP (sure, I will ditch my career for a dog. That’s healthy). WTF?!?

Every good animal shelter will assess each dog for temperament. Some dogs don't like kids, and wouldn't be safe around kids. Some dogs need lots of running free exertion, so keeping him on a leash at all times would not be best. Were they talking about the needs of specific dogs? Or are these just the blanket requirements for every dog they have for no good reason?

[Anonymous]

I posted a rug on BN and over 40 people wanted it. I chose someone and then she proceeded to tell me she needed additional pictures in the DMs in order to see it would "work for her space." I sent her like 10 additional photos even though she was working my nerves at that point. She comes to pick it up later than she said she would (it began to rain and I had to move it into the garage for her to get it at her convenience).
Later that day she messages me and says "It's just too blue for our space." Not my problem, you unappreciative git. I sent her 15 more photos than the original post and she still couldn't figure that out.