Should I send my 15 month old to daycare?

[Anonymous]

Like many others, I started daycare at around 4 months. I think every parent, family and child is different so YMMV but I have LOVED the daycare environment for my child. He is just about to turn 2 and we are floored by how much he learns at daycare. He learns so much being around other kids and the caregivers are so lovely and committed to helping him grow.

I will say it took A LOT of time and research to find the right daycare for us, but once we did, it was so worth it. They love him dearly, he learns a ton, and my husband and I can continue to find provide for our family's future and get fulfillment from work.

Please don't listen to the "I would nevers" Anyone who says this is so ignorant it drives me crazy. Being a parent is such a deeply personal experience that is dependent on so many things -- your child, your parenting style, your partner, your family, your history, your community, culture, etc. Don't let anyone tell you one way is better than any other. Just know that you are not being any less loving by going the daycare route. We have loved the daycare experience and though our circumstances could allow us to go the nanny route for baby #2, we had such a great experience with daycare we will likely be going this route with our 2nd. All the best to you, OP.

[Anonymous]

Family child care homes, Daycares, centers, nannies. They all give love and compassion to children. Everywhere your child goes it will be a good empathetic environment because of the good care givers

[Anonymous]

Depends on your family needs really. I asked my pediatrician, and she said before 2.5 years they don't need the socialization aspect of daycare. I sent mine at 2 for half day and frankly regret it. It wasn't a good setting for him at all, despite low provider/child ratio. If you can swing it financially, and you have a good nanny, I would keep a child home until 2-2.5 or do a part time program only. 1.5 is still very young.

[Anonymous]

Daycare and preschool usually frees up in the summer when older kids graduate or move up a grade. That makes spots opening up. Your kid is 15 month now and 22 months by Aug, make your plan now.

[Anonymous]

Never would be my recommendation, if you can afford it. We did this with older DC and planning to do with the younger:

FT nanny
2yo - half-day 2x/week
3yo - half-day 3x/week
4yo - half-day 5x/week (maybe 9-3 if he ends up being really social and drops the nap)

Afternoons were for lunch, nap, and playground or play dates. Our nanny was perfectly willing to help with errands, housework, and make lunch during the preschool mornings before DC2 was born.

[Anonymous]

^ Btw this was not out of some irrational fear of daycares. Simply that I liked the idea of DC being able to eat a fresh hot lunch and nap in his own bed. Plus I worked from home quite a bit even before Covid, so I liked seeing him around in between meetings. Finally, we had an excellent nanny so we didn’t want to let her go.

[Anonymous]

I started DS around 2. He was bored at home
He went half days for 6 months or so, then he liked it so much we switched to full time, around 9:30 to 4 or so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: of course 7 month old adjusts better since they are young but this is not the reason to put your child in a daycare at such a young age, unless you really have no choice. Also, just because your baby does not cry on drop off, does not mean she "adjusted". You have no idea what is happening once you close the daycare door behind you. I can tell you that "teachers" are very seldom competent, there is a very high turn over, babies hardly nap, and if your child is breast fed be prepared for him to refuse bottles for weeks. Babies are on dirty floor where people walk in outside shoes, often there is no outings for babies, no schedule, they cry themselves to sleep, and are constantly in restraining equipment, like bouncy seats, baby swings, even carseats. And I have not even started on rsv, covid, flu, and non stop colds that would keep you home with your baby for weeks. Nope. Preschool half day for over 2s.

Haha um what? What kind of nasty daycare institutions did you see in a photo/visit. This was nothing like our experience. We also paid and arm and a leg for a very high quality place that also had a preK attached. But ok go off.

[Anonymous]

Wow. Some of these responses are wild. I'm shocked at the people who say they would never use daycare or have the notion of them as dirty and uncaring. There is definitely some weird stigma around daycare, and a nanny seems more posh, but I don't think nannies are superior, just maybe easier for the parents. OP- try touring some daycares near you and see how they are. Daycare, much like nannies, can vary significantly.

I had a nanny share with DC for a short time from 7 months that was... Lackluster. Nanny was a babysitter and did nothing for baby development. Nannies can be amazing, but they are not licensed or generally supervised. Asking around, they all seem to get together at the park an/ or library, watch the kids play/ nap, and hang out. We could not wait for our daycare spot to open up. DC started daycare at 9 months and it is great. He is more engaged, eats and naps just fine and is getting so much more out of it. He loves being around the other kids, and has made big development jumps in the weeks since he started. Every kid is different and has different needs, but I keep thinking that the other baby from our share would also do much better in daycare, with a curriculum, more engagement, more kids ect. It's just so much easier for a daycare to provide an engaging environment than a nanny on her own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Some of these responses are wild. I'm shocked at the people who say they would never use daycare or have the notion of them as dirty and uncaring. There is definitely some weird stigma around daycare, and a nanny seems more posh, but I don't think nannies are superior, just maybe easier for the parents. OP- try touring some daycares near you and see how they are. Daycare, much like nannies, can vary significantly.

I had a nanny share with DC for a short time from 7 months that was... Lackluster. Nanny was a babysitter and did nothing for baby development. Nannies can be amazing, but they are not licensed or generally supervised. Asking around, they all seem to get together at the park an/ or library, watch the kids play/ nap, and hang out. We could not wait for our daycare spot to open up. DC started daycare at 9 months and it is great. He is more engaged, eats and naps just fine and is getting so much more out of it. He loves being around the other kids, and has made big development jumps in the weeks since he started. Every kid is different and has different needs, but I keep thinking that the other baby from our share would also do much better in daycare, with a curriculum, more engagement, more kids ect. It's just so much easier for a daycare to provide an engaging environment than a nanny on her own.

I had a very similar experience. Our nanny was sweet, reliable and very experienced but did not do any developmental stuff with my son. She just took him to the park or library and hung out with the other nannies. I didn't want anything elaborate, just like, wanted her to read him books and sing songs and stuff. Daycare was way better for that. The hard thing about daycare is the turnover - it really sucked when my son's favorite teacher left our center. The germs suck too. But overall, I preferred daycare by a significant margin

[Anonymous]

Director here - I find that parents do start daycare at specific ages if they didn't enroll their child in a childcare center as a newborn:

Here are the ages and what parents use to decide to send their child at that age - I'm not saying what I think is right, what parents do:

15 months - children are walking, dropped the morning nap, and they are ready to be around others for socialization. Their child doesn't feel like a baby any longer, and they are looking ahead

2 years old - children are now more verbal, enjoy being with others, ready for socialization, and their child isn't a baby any longer and they are looking for more than a 1:1 nanny: child

I think you can't go wrong with either one, if you are comfortable with the program, are confident in your decision, etc.

Ask yourself if YOU are ready for this leap? it's financial, but also your child will be with a group so will get sick more often, will learn to do stuff you don't want them to do because they observe other children doing it (this starts eventually, but you have to be ready earlier than if you waited to send them at 3, 4 or 5 years old)

NOW - also ask yourself - do you have a bold, confident child? someone who can go into places, playgrounds, and walk up to children and play? Has your child dropped the morning nap? (toddler rooms do NOT have an AM nap, and a child who needs to sleep in the morning is a sad disaster by the time 12:30pm naptime starts, it's horrible)

If your child tends to be shy, slow to warm up, hides behind you always when meeting new people and never comes out from hiding, seems sensitive to noise, hubbub, activity, etc - then PLEASE wait until your child is closer to 3 years of age. Because group care is 8 toddlers all playing - for some kids that's great, for others it's overwhelming and they can't do it. They will eventually need to do it, but when they are 3 years old they will have developed more stamina and have grown up a bit.

[Anonymous]

Dear PP, my child is 15 months and still takes 2 naps. To the parents talking about curriculum for 7 month olds - you cannot be serious? Even assuming there is a "curriculum", do you think the inexperienced and unmotivated, overworked and underpaid staff can "implement" it? my colleague who has a 6 month old in a daycare states that a full set of teachers in her classroom has already changed during her 2 months there, and some teachers look very inexperienced. I think the people on here hire very cheap nannies if they are not even reading to the babies which is a basic task required of any nanny. You can request and control what your nanny is doing.

[Anonymous]

PP here again. My nanny does 2 30 min reading times with my 6 month old who obviously enjoys this routine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear PP, my child is 15 months and still takes 2 naps. To the parents talking about curriculum for 7 month olds - you cannot be serious? Even assuming there is a "curriculum", do you think the inexperienced and unmotivated, overworked and underpaid staff can "implement" it? my colleague who has a 6 month old in a daycare states that a full set of teachers in her classroom has already changed during her 2 months there, and some teachers look very inexperienced. I think the people on here hire very cheap nannies if they are not even reading to the babies which is a basic task required of any nanny. You can request and control what your nanny is doing.

This varies greatly and I’ve found that you basically get what you pay for (probably just like nannies), but… yes! There is a curriculum, and its being followed. I get 5-10ish pictures a day, throughout the day, and multiple pieces of artwork. I also see my kid coming home having learned new songs, learned new skills, and excited to go back the next day. Its true that it has been hard to retain teachers in many daycares due to low pay and hard conditions, but our daycare sees very little turnover and that was also a factor in our decision. So there you go.

[Anonymous]

pp, we are talking about babies and very young toddlers, so not sure how you know they learnt new song. They only have about 20 words at age 18 months on average. And no, in daycare centers you unfortunately do not get what you pay for. The centers, or most of them, are very expensive but the teachers still get paid under $20 an hr no matter what you are paying. The teachers are resenting low wages and enormous physical load working with young children, and as a result, they either do just the required minimum or burn out after 2-3 months. I would never want an unhappy person who hides their resentment (and has every right to resent) to be caring for my child. Many parents are deceived by the shining appearance of expensive centers but it is an empty shell where no love lives, and love is what babies need most.