UVA Greek System

[Anonymous]

OP here. I think my kid will fo just fine without rushing and joining a sorority. However, she is drawn to that scene, sort of against my wishes. We will support her choice either way, but are thankful for the tips I have gathered from this discussion. I will share them with her, so she will not be blindsided!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two at UVA both in Greek system, both in houses considered “middle tier” meaning not the super rich people. Most of the sororities are pretty low key, there are 15 of them so really a good range. Going through rush she’ll get to meet all of them and then both sides whittle down the list as rush goes on. As long as she doesn’t have hopes for any particular house, she will be fine. Dies for mine are about $800-1000 per semester, more the first semester. There are wide variances on dues FYI depending on the house.

immigrant here who is totally clueless on Greek life... can you explain more what "tier" means... are these fraternities/sororities sorted out by economic status?

It is just part of the grossness.

My kid chose schools that ban organizations which are not open to all students.

Please don’t think that Greek life is embraced by most Americans.

"Most Americans" don't go to four year colleges. The Greek experience is a college one for those who choose to participate.

Obviously, yes. But I did not want this immigrant to think of this choice as American, or even chosen by most American college students (and to understand that many progressive families avoid schools that still allow Greek organizations on campus).

This is laughable and completely inaccurate. So wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DC was admitted ED to UVA and is interested in joining the Greek system. At my college, the Greek presence was pretty non-existent. Do any of you have kids in frats or sororities at UVA? I hear they are not as crazy as the SEC schools, thank God, but are they elitist, expensive, exclusive? My kid is a URM as well. I see some of the members posting about their summer vacations to destinations we could never afford. DC is very outgoing, social, team sports player and has held different leadership positions. We will support her decision to rush, but also want to give her a heads up on what this all entails.

Why do you think it's your job to "give her a head's up on what this all entails?" If she's smart enough to have gotten herself admitted to UVA, this is something that she alone can -- and should be allowed to -- figure out. You don't rush until second semester and by then she will learn a lot about "what this all entails" herself. You job is limited to telling her how much you're willing to pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DC was admitted ED to UVA and is interested in joining the Greek system. At my college, the Greek presence was pretty non-existent. Do any of you have kids in frats or sororities at UVA? I hear they are not as crazy as the SEC schools, thank God, but are they elitist, expensive, exclusive? My kid is a URM as well. I see some of the members posting about their summer vacations to destinations we could never afford. DC is very outgoing, social, team sports player and has held different leadership positions. We will support her decision to rush, but also want to give her a heads up on what this all entails.

Why do you think it's your job to "give her a head's up on what this all entails?" If she's smart enough to have gotten herself admitted to UVA, this is something that she alone can -- and should be allowed to -- figure out. You don't rush until second semester and by then she will learn a lot about "what this all entails" herself. You job is limited to telling her how much you're willing to pay.

This is written a bit harshly but there is not reason for you to weigh in if you "support her decision to rush", just let her know what you can afford and support her through the process (as in be a listening ear on the phone when she calls upset/happy/worried).

[Anonymous]

Alot of people on this thread do not have kids in the Greek system at UVA - which is what you asked. So listen to those that do and leave out the judgmental, uninformed comments and the net net is that she needs to go through the process with an open mind, know she will be cut along the way, and if she likes the girls in the sorority that gives her a bid, go with it. She can always drop if she doesn't like it. If she drops before initiation (which usually happens in late March/early April), she can join again next year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two at UVA both in Greek system, both in houses considered “middle tier” meaning not the super rich people. Most of the sororities are pretty low key, there are 15 of them so really a good range. Going through rush she’ll get to meet all of them and then both sides whittle down the list as rush goes on. As long as she doesn’t have hopes for any particular house, she will be fine. Dies for mine are about $800-1000 per semester, more the first semester. There are wide variances on dues FYI depending on the house.

immigrant here who is totally clueless on Greek life... can you explain more what "tier" means... are these fraternities/sororities sorted out by economic status?

It is just part of the grossness.

My kid chose schools that ban organizations which are not open to all students.

Please don’t think that Greek life is embraced by most Americans.

"Most Americans" don't go to four year colleges. The Greek experience is a college one for those who choose to participate.

Obviously, yes. But I did not want this immigrant to think of this choice as American, or even chosen by most American college students (and to understand that many progressive families avoid schools that still allow Greek organizations on campus).

This is laughable and completely inaccurate. So wrong.

+1. Lol

[Anonymous]

I had two kids attend UVA, and both were in sororities. They are both conventionally very attractive and outgoing, funny and social, but at the same time extremely down to earth. We are also what most would consider to be a wealthy family, even by DCUM standards, although certainly not multi-millionaires.

Most of the girls in our daughters' sororities appeared to fit this same description except maybe when it came to money. There, there was much more diversity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DC was admitted ED to UVA and is interested in joining the Greek system. At my college, the Greek presence was pretty non-existent. Do any of you have kids in frats or sororities at UVA? I hear they are not as crazy as the SEC schools, thank God, but are they elitist, expensive, exclusive? My kid is a URM as well. I see some of the members posting about their summer vacations to destinations we could never afford. DC is very outgoing, social, team sports player and has held different leadership positions. We will support her decision to rush, but also want to give her a heads up on what this all entails.

My sorority is no longer present at UVA, but on a national level, has recently done away with recommendation letters and legacy preference with the last two years or so. The goal is to make the sorority more diverse. I think this is not isolated and something many sororities are working towards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two at UVA both in Greek system, both in houses considered “middle tier” meaning not the super rich people. Most of the sororities are pretty low key, there are 15 of them so really a good range. Going through rush she’ll get to meet all of them and then both sides whittle down the list as rush goes on. As long as she doesn’t have hopes for any particular house, she will be fine. Dies for mine are about $800-1000 per semester, more the first semester. There are wide variances on dues FYI depending on the house.

immigrant here who is totally clueless on Greek life... can you explain more what "tier" means... are these fraternities/sororities sorted out by economic status?

It is just part of the grossness.

My kid chose schools that ban organizations which are not open to all students.

Please don’t think that Greek life is embraced by most Americans.

"Most Americans" don't go to four year colleges. The Greek experience is a college one for those who choose to participate.

Obviously, yes. But I did not want this immigrant to think of this choice as American, or even chosen by most American college students (and to understand that many progressive families avoid schools that still allow Greek organizations on campus).

This is laughable and completely inaccurate. So wrong.

NP here. Certainly one family is not a trend, but this is absolutely true of my family. Whenever my kids talk about UVA we end up circling around to the Greek scene, though I have heard from some (and believe them) that there are sororities for normal kids, not just pretty and rich ones. And in fact, segregation by wealth is common in universities, even outside of the Greek scene, simply because some kids can afford to go out all of the time, go on expensive spring break trips, etc. and others can't... so they sort of segregate over the course of freshman year.

What I hate about Greek life is the rush system, even if it is organized more humanely than in years' past. At its heart, you are taking teenagers who are naturally insecure about themselves and how the world sees them. And who are almost always away from the security blanket of home for the first time. And putting them through a process where their peers are judging them based on relatively little information and a limited timeframe and very explicitly grouping them into "people they like" and "people they don't like." (or worse, "people who are not good enough for us." That's a tough situation for anyone, but if you had to pick one time in your life where it is particularly problematic, it is late adolescence when you are away from home for the first time.

This is one of the reasons that many schools have pushed Rush back to January-- the kids are on a bit more solid ground and not the first weeks away from home. But even so, I strongly encourage my kids to consider this in the college selection decision, and my oldest dd (now in college) -- who rarely considered my opinion on many aspects-- tended to concur on this one and had a column in her college wish-list spreadsheet about the prevalence of sororities, and warns her younger sisters whenever they speak about a school where Greek life is big.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not Op necessarily, but UVA Boosters need to comprehend that many families/students choose schools without prevalent Greek Systems, for a reason.

And no one is saying they are wrong to do that. They can choose whatever school they want, no one cares.

Conversely, some kids are attracted to a school with Greek life and good D1 sports. That’s the beauty of being able to chose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a Tri Delt at a different school and back in the day a rushee had to have a letter of recommendation from an alumna in order to be considered for membership. I think that requirement has loosened (if not gone away altogether) but I'm still asked to write references from time to time. Your DD will likely need a resume and a good photo/head shot. When I complete references now they ask for social media handles so be away and advise your kids to clean them up if need be.


"Tier" is a loose term to describe the strength and popularity of a chapter.

My understanding is that at UVA the stronger sororities have parties with the stronger fraternities and that all the frat parties are run with strict guest lists and wrist bands.

They don’t use recommendation letters and no resume/headshot is needed at UVA.

Yes the top tier sororities mix with the top tier fraternities but I would not call them “stronger”. Almost all the sororities are the same size so there is only one that struggles with rush and getting good numbers. There are 30+ active frats and most of them do great and get large pledge classes, so again just because one is “top tier” doesn’t mean it’s any more quality than another except it’s probably populated by rich kids who do alot of drugs.


Top tier according to my DD is KKG, DDD and Theta and unless you know someone, your kid is not getting in.

Know someone as in an alum of the sorority? Does that help even if not from that college? Or must they know girls already at that sorority?

At UVA recommendation letters are not needed. Ignore the PPs comment as it is not applicable.

Whoops totally misread your question. Knowing someone means knowing someone in that sorority. The top sororities only want people who they already know. Alumni recommendation means absolutely nothing. My kid knows a legacy from a top house at UVA and that girl didn’t even get into the sorority her mom had been in. Legacy status means nothing and recommendation means nothing. Getting to know the actual girls in the sorority is the only way and again that is usually because your kid went to HS with them or is on a sports team with them etc.

Again this is only the three top tier houses and most of us normal people wouldn’t want their kids to join those sororities anyway. For everyone else, no prior connections are necessary and family wealth does not matter

Having been in a sorority and served a rush director, this sounds like it was written by someone who wasn’t. Rush is very much an open process and it’s highly unusual for all the girls to be preselected. Does it help to have a member talk you up? Sure. But the majority of the girls are chosen on whether they “click” with the members when interacting in rush events.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a Tri Delt at a different school and back in the day a rushee had to have a letter of recommendation from an alumna in order to be considered for membership. I think that requirement has loosened (if not gone away altogether) but I'm still asked to write references from time to time. Your DD will likely need a resume and a good photo/head shot. When I complete references now they ask for social media handles so be away and advise your kids to clean them up if need be.


"Tier" is a loose term to describe the strength and popularity of a chapter.

My understanding is that at UVA the stronger sororities have parties with the stronger fraternities and that all the frat parties are run with strict guest lists and wrist bands.

They don’t use recommendation letters and no resume/headshot is needed at UVA.

Yes the top tier sororities mix with the top tier fraternities but I would not call them “stronger”. Almost all the sororities are the same size so there is only one that struggles with rush and getting good numbers. There are 30+ active frats and most of them do great and get large pledge classes, so again just because one is “top tier” doesn’t mean it’s any more quality than another except it’s probably populated by rich kids who do alot of drugs.


Top tier according to my DD is KKG, DDD and Theta and unless you know someone, your kid is not getting in.

Know someone as in an alum of the sorority? Does that help even if not from that college? Or must they know girls already at that sorority?

At UVA recommendation letters are not needed. Ignore the PPs comment as it is not applicable.

Whoops totally misread your question. Knowing someone means knowing someone in that sorority. The top sororities only want people who they already know. Alumni recommendation means absolutely nothing. My kid knows a legacy from a top house at UVA and that girl didn’t even get into the sorority her mom had been in. Legacy status means nothing and recommendation means nothing. Getting to know the actual girls in the sorority is the only way and again that is usually because your kid went to HS with them or is on a sports team with them etc.

Again this is only the three top tier houses and most of us normal people wouldn’t want their kids to join those sororities anyway. For everyone else, no prior connections are necessary and family wealth does not matter

Having been in a sorority and served a rush director, this sounds like it was written by someone who wasn’t. Rush is very much an open process and it’s highly unusual for all the girls to be preselected. Does it help to have a member talk you up? Sure. But the majority of the girls are chosen on whether they “click” with the members when interacting in rush events.

Hahah no I was in a sorority (and on exec) and my dd went through rush last spring and is going through it on the sister side now. There are absolutely houses that “dirty rush” and have a list before rush even starts. I spoke to someone in a sorority at uva who said just that. They already know who they want. I’m sure in your house and in mine, it was different but if we are talking about top tier at Uva, I absolutely am telling the truth (and kids on campus know this, just not first years who actually think they have a shot.) There are 12 other sororities that do not rely on this and that girls will have a good shot to get into. My DDs sorority does not dirty rush and plays very much by the rules, so yes sure there are places where this does not happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two at UVA both in Greek system, both in houses considered “middle tier” meaning not the super rich people. Most of the sororities are pretty low key, there are 15 of them so really a good range. Going through rush she’ll get to meet all of them and then both sides whittle down the list as rush goes on. As long as she doesn’t have hopes for any particular house, she will be fine. Dies for mine are about $800-1000 per semester, more the first semester. There are wide variances on dues FYI depending on the house.

immigrant here who is totally clueless on Greek life... can you explain more what "tier" means... are these fraternities/sororities sorted out by economic status?

It is just part of the grossness.

My kid chose schools that ban organizations which are not open to all students.

Please don’t think that Greek life is embraced by most Americans.

"Most Americans" don't go to four year colleges. The Greek experience is a college one for those who choose to participate.

Obviously, yes. But I did not want this immigrant to think of this choice as American, or even chosen by most American college students (and to understand that many progressive families avoid schools that still allow Greek organizations on campus).

This is laughable and completely inaccurate. So wrong.

NP here. Certainly one family is not a trend, but this is absolutely true of my family. Whenever my kids talk about UVA we end up circling around to the Greek scene, though I have heard from some (and believe them) that there are sororities for normal kids, not just pretty and rich ones. And in fact, segregation by wealth is common in universities, even outside of the Greek scene, simply because some kids can afford to go out all of the time, go on expensive spring break trips, etc. and others can't... so they sort of segregate over the course of freshman year.

What I hate about Greek life is the rush system, even if it is organized more humanely than in years' past. At its heart, you are taking teenagers who are naturally insecure about themselves and how the world sees them. And who are almost always away from the security blanket of home for the first time. And putting them through a process where their peers are judging them based on relatively little information and a limited timeframe and very explicitly grouping them into "people they like" and "people they don't like." (or worse, "people who are not good enough for us." That's a tough situation for anyone, but if you had to pick one time in your life where it is particularly problematic, it is late adolescence when you are away from home for the first time.

This is one of the reasons that many schools have pushed Rush back to January-- the kids are on a bit more solid ground and not the first weeks away from home. But even so, I strongly encourage my kids to consider this in the college selection decision, and my oldest dd (now in college) -- who rarely considered my opinion on many aspects-- tended to concur on this one and had a column in her college wish-list spreadsheet about the prevalence of sororities, and warns her younger sisters whenever they speak about a school where Greek life is big.

You are projecting your own insecurities on to your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a Tri Delt at a different school and back in the day a rushee had to have a letter of recommendation from an alumna in order to be considered for membership. I think that requirement has loosened (if not gone away altogether) but I'm still asked to write references from time to time. Your DD will likely need a resume and a good photo/head shot. When I complete references now they ask for social media handles so be away and advise your kids to clean them up if need be.


"Tier" is a loose term to describe the strength and popularity of a chapter.

My understanding is that at UVA the stronger sororities have parties with the stronger fraternities and that all the frat parties are run with strict guest lists and wrist bands.

They don’t use recommendation letters and no resume/headshot is needed at UVA.

Yes the top tier sororities mix with the top tier fraternities but I would not call them “stronger”. Almost all the sororities are the same size so there is only one that struggles with rush and getting good numbers. There are 30+ active frats and most of them do great and get large pledge classes, so again just because one is “top tier” doesn’t mean it’s any more quality than another except it’s probably populated by rich kids who do alot of drugs.


Top tier according to my DD is KKG, DDD and Theta and unless you know someone, your kid is not getting in.

Know someone as in an alum of the sorority? Does that help even if not from that college? Or must they know girls already at that sorority?

At UVA recommendation letters are not needed. Ignore the PPs comment as it is not applicable.

Whoops totally misread your question. Knowing someone means knowing someone in that sorority. The top sororities only want people who they already know. Alumni recommendation means absolutely nothing. My kid knows a legacy from a top house at UVA and that girl didn’t even get into the sorority her mom had been in. Legacy status means nothing and recommendation means nothing. Getting to know the actual girls in the sorority is the only way and again that is usually because your kid went to HS with them or is on a sports team with them etc.

Again this is only the three top tier houses and most of us normal people wouldn’t want their kids to join those sororities anyway. For everyone else, no prior connections are necessary and family wealth does not matter

Having been in a sorority and served a rush director, this sounds like it was written by someone who wasn’t. Rush is very much an open process and it’s highly unusual for all the girls to be preselected. Does it help to have a member talk you up? Sure. But the majority of the girls are chosen on whether they “click” with the members when interacting in rush events.

You went to UVA? Were you at one of the “top” houses at UVA? I was. Most (not all) of the girls were absolutely preselected. Rush is a formality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two at UVA both in Greek system, both in houses considered “middle tier” meaning not the super rich people. Most of the sororities are pretty low key, there are 15 of them so really a good range. Going through rush she’ll get to meet all of them and then both sides whittle down the list as rush goes on. As long as she doesn’t have hopes for any particular house, she will be fine. Dies for mine are about $800-1000 per semester, more the first semester. There are wide variances on dues FYI depending on the house.

immigrant here who is totally clueless on Greek life... can you explain more what "tier" means... are these fraternities/sororities sorted out by economic status?

It is just part of the grossness.

My kid chose schools that ban organizations which are not open to all students.

Please don’t think that Greek life is embraced by most Americans.

"Most Americans" don't go to four year colleges. The Greek experience is a college one for those who choose to participate.

Obviously, yes. But I did not want this immigrant to think of this choice as American, or even chosen by most American college students (and to understand that many progressive families avoid schools that still allow Greek organizations on campus).

This is laughable and completely inaccurate. So wrong.

NP here. Certainly one family is not a trend, but this is absolutely true of my family. Whenever my kids talk about UVA we end up circling around to the Greek scene, though I have heard from some (and believe them) that there are sororities for normal kids, not just pretty and rich ones. And in fact, segregation by wealth is common in universities, even outside of the Greek scene, simply because some kids can afford to go out all of the time, go on expensive spring break trips, etc. and others can't... so they sort of segregate over the course of freshman year.

What I hate about Greek life is the rush system, even if it is organized more humanely than in years' past. At its heart, you are taking teenagers who are naturally insecure about themselves and how the world sees them. And who are almost always away from the security blanket of home for the first time. And putting them through a process where their peers are judging them based on relatively little information and a limited timeframe and very explicitly grouping them into "people they like" and "people they don't like." (or worse, "people who are not good enough for us." That's a tough situation for anyone, but if you had to pick one time in your life where it is particularly problematic, it is late adolescence when you are away from home for the first time.

This is one of the reasons that many schools have pushed Rush back to January-- the kids are on a bit more solid ground and not the first weeks away from home. But even so, I strongly encourage my kids to consider this in the college selection decision, and my oldest dd (now in college) -- who rarely considered my opinion on many aspects-- tended to concur on this one and had a column in her college wish-list spreadsheet about the prevalence of sororities, and warns her younger sisters whenever they speak about a school where Greek life is big.

I agree, and I was in a sorority and one they was actually quite down to earth and diverse, but, in retrospect I find the whole rush system and the process as you described it as very distasteful and I’m not a huge fan. I have a DD that could well want to rush and I am not going to prevent that but I’m a big fan of schools without intense Greek systems.