Is this normal - grandma saying Santa comes to her house to bring kids Christmas presents

[Anonymous]

Lean into it, tell your kid Santa follows you wherever you are….. and then lay it on MIL that during her next Christmas turn you’ll be traveling n vacation instead. Thanks MIL for teeing this up. We’ve been dying to go to Fiji instead but we’re worried about the whole Santa thing. We’ll miss you but we’re so excited to have an enjoyable break to look forward to next year or the year after if that’s her turn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate it too. Especially since my kids then question why Santa doesn’t bring gifts to both grandparents houses and only one. And they want to know why they have stockings at grandmas house??

And you cannot figure out how to answer these questions?
It takes you more than 39 seconds to come up answers?
Santa decided to leave things at Nana’s house this time, had a lot of stops to make.
Grandma told Santa it was ok to skip her house since he is so busy.
Big Momma thought it would be fun to have stockings at her house this year too!
Santa left some stockings at Gramma’s to have even more fun!
Santa has all different kinds of surprises and plans, isn’t that awesome.
Look at Santa , you never know what he will do!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Team DIL!

Overstepping. Grandma doesn’t get to play Santa unless and until you give permission. My ILs insisted for years that they were going to “outdo” our gift-giving to our DC and they did in an obnoxious way. We were all local. DH never wanted to get involved and so for years DC learned that the grandparents would give them piles of toys and gifts to unwrap whereas mom and dad would give a few meaningful gifts.

The gift giving was so excessive that my DC couldn’t keep track, much less remember the many gifts they got from grandparents, so I’d haul all home and slowly distribute back to them only if they asked where a particular something was.
At the 3 month mark, whatever remained was donated to charity. Mean maybe but was my way of decluttering and handling the situation.

Get over Santa! Stop projecting what your crazy in laws did. Be mad at your husband for not shutting this down.

[Anonymous]

Normal for our family and not a big deal. The kids love it. They think my FIL has had tea and cookies with Santa due to an offhand comment years ago. It’s sweet. I am grateful they have that bond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, it’s not normal, and I would shut that down fast. She had her turn to be Santa. Tell her on no uncertain terms that Santa is you and DH, end of list.

+1 She had her turn and now it is yours. My MIL does this as well. It gets tricky when Santa brings more or more expensive gifts to MIL's house...

1) Santa goes everywhere ( grow up)
2) If Santa gets the credit than be happy the grandparents spent more money and you got to save yours
3) Grow up!

[Anonymous]

Huh, I never thought about this as an offensive thing. Both sets of grandparents will send gifts to our home “from Santa” for both the kids and DH and I. Never put any thought into it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a made up story; so people make up the details in different ways. I don’t see how you are losing anything if your kid believes this for a couple of years. The whole story is pretty ridiculous, so there are plenty of details the kids pick apart when they start to realize that - this is not likely to be the inconsistent detail that reveals the truth. Obviously you have deeper issues with your mom and her overstepping what you see as your role; I would focus on resolving that instead of the particular details surrounding the Santa myth.

This

Op here. Yes, this is probably the bigger issue. Thanks for the feedback. I do find my mil historically overbearing and mostly inconsiderate of boundaries. In the past she has said things like Christmas is “her” holiday to do. She also used to stop by unannounced, make plans with our kid without asking either of us, call every day for kid updates etc etc. She has invited herself to family stuff without asking like once she literally bought a plane ticket to go on vacay with us without telling us she would be there. Anyway all that stuff has ended after some messy conversations but I am def sensitive to it. Came on here for some quick feedback. Thanks to all who actually gave it to me.

This all sounds terrible. To me, the Santa thing is no big deal but it sounds like there are plenty of other issues at play. She bought a ticket to go on vacation with you without asking?! Terrible

[Anonymous]

Definitely common. You can lean into it. Many of my friends dont even get big presents for their little kids as grandparents always overdo it.

[Anonymous]

This would definitely irritate me and I would ask MIL not to do that going forward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:GROW UP!
Santa stops at houses all over the world but not at the grandparents house?
You have a Grinch heart!

Oh please. Granny had her moment, she needs to let the parents have theirs. So tired of grannies overstepping their bounds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, it’s not normal, and I would shut that down fast. She had her turn to be Santa. Tell her on no uncertain terms that Santa is you and DH, end of list.

+1 She had her turn and now it is yours. My MIL does this as well. It gets tricky when Santa brings more or more expensive gifts to MIL's house...

1) Santa goes everywhere ( grow up)
2) If Santa gets the credit than be happy the grandparents spent more money and you got to save yours
3) Grow up!

Get some boundaries PP.

[Anonymous]

Wow! I’m shocked this is something you’re mad about. I feel like your mil doesn’t stand a chance with you. I’m pretty sure my mil had Santa gifts at her house. Not totally sure bc it wasn’t even a blip on my radar.

[Anonymous]

Let this one go. My mother and MIL did this when the kids were young. They got stockings and gifts and both houses and tons of presents from grandparents. We spent a week traveling to see them and eventually came home to our house to find that Santa had stopped by our house and left more. The kids really didn’t care. Some years the grandparents forgot and would start talking shiny the stuff they bought in the stockings. Again, the kids didn’t seem to notice or care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both my mother and my aunt, in France and the USA, have told this to my kids in anticipation of a Christmas-adjacent visit.

It’s sweet of them.

I can’t imagine ever being so possessive and jealous as to be perturbed by such innocent, child-friendly, conversation.

Seriously. You are the problem here, OP.

Right? Like it’s some competition! My parents have always wanted to be the ones to get my kids the “big” “wow” present. So what? Saves me money, really. This whole, “ Me! Me! Me! I want the credit!” thing is nutty (except that you’re ok with giving it to an imaginary overweight old dude!) My parents got the wow present for my kids this year so I scaled Santa way back and gave the money to charity. My kids are no happier thinking their gift came from one person or house vs another.
Don’t waste another ounce of energy on this particular non-issue, OP. Sounds like you have bigger fish to fry with your MIL.

[Anonymous]

Ignore all these yes women OP. Your mil needs to step back and let you have your tradition with your kids. Tell her Santa doesn’t go to grandparents place. Dcum have a lot of women who act like they’re saints and “how dare you not put up with everything your mil does”