Help I am so overwhelmed with my 3 and 6-year-old boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re being brave asking for help. I also think you might want to have your younger boy in a preschool. If he is really as wild as you say, I wonder if he needs an evaluation. Is there ADHD in the family? You might also look for a parenting coach or support group or parenting class to help you with strategies. Your older boy’s school guidance counselor can help with this.

You need a schedule and routine, if you don’t have one. Heavy work can help regulate them, like carrying books or pulling a toy wagon loaded with books. Give them chewy snacks. Google regulation strategies for overactive kids.

Think of basic rules you want them to follow, and work on them one at a time.

See if you can get an older elementary or middle school kid to come play with them. Praise behavior that you see that you want. Use physical redirecting with the younger one. Pick him up and move him. Look up “body sock” on Amazon. Look up Go Noodle. It sounds like they need a lot of active movement.

The guidance counselor may know a family with same-age kids you could meet and play with.

I hope you get some time for yourself. It can be very hard. Remind yourself that they will sleep at some point!

+1

Ignore the rude posters castigating you for not wanting to go out. I hate going out when it’s super cold. Never in the history of humanity have parents been expected to stand outside doing nothing in the freaking cold so their kids behave better. Intensive parenting expectations suck.

My 5 and 2 year old do well with play-doh and open crafting/drawing. I would try and integrate those into a regular rotation. Walks are great, but not when it’s freaking 20 degrees!

Lol. the irony. All throughout humanity, adults and children have spent tons and tons of time outside. It is one of the best things for us.

Yes that’s true! Because they all had work to do! Not the never ending expectation of parents entertaining them. It’s not the same thing!

Outdoors is where kids require the least entertainment from parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids need to get moving. Take them for a walk or to the local rec center or the Chick Fil A play area or indoor swimming -- something, anything outside the house. My kids were four years apart at that age, and that's what I did. They are flying off the handle because they have energy to burn that you are not helping them expend. That is why they are running in circles. Get out of the house, take them somewhere for a few hours to burn it off. When my kids were spinning up, I would take them somewhere.

I would also get creative and have them play search and seek inside the house. I'm hiding this stuffed animal/figurine, etc. first one who finds it gets a cookie. Or we would make cookies.

Just do something with them.

Op here. I DO take them places. They are STILL like this. I can't take them somewhere every day after school. There has to be a balance between being at home and constantly on the go. On school days, I always take out the 3-year-old in the morning.

Do you have a back yard they can run around?

No yard; we live in a townhouse. There's a playground driving distance down the road but we are a one-car family. Dh goes in person to work twice a week. I like the garage idea. Our basement isn't finished, so I don't allow them downstairs. There is too much they can get in downstairs like the sump pump or gas controls. We have child proofed as much as possible, but I worry. We moved from a tropical climate so my kids haven't adjusted to being out in the cold yet. On a day like today, they are definitely not going outside.

Go out tomorrow and buy snow pants in sizes 4 and 7. Roll up the bottoms, and take them out. Be sure to have thick gloves as well.

[Anonymous]

It’s tough op.
Talk to 6 yo about being a big brother and taking turns and helping his brother play.
But also Let him have his own things like legos in his own room when he needs some down time.
Sitting on the floor and playing with them even for 15 min once an hour is usually enough to get them going on something.
Get them out around 10am even if it’s just for 20 min.
Have quiet time after lunch for an hour or so where everyone rests, reads, you get a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two boys and a girl who isn’t as wild as the boys, but can definitely make a mess. I agree you need to start setting clear boundaries and give immediate consequences. In 2020 my youngest was a baby and I got way too relaxed about house rules and cleaning up. It was not fun getting back into those expectations, but our lives are so much better because of it.

If you have room inside, create an area where they can jump around safely. If not, take them outside daily. My 7yo has lots of energy to burn and loves sports. He will shoot hoops in the driveway or run around playing football with himself for an hour every day.

Look into heavy work OT exercises you can do at home to wear them both out. My OT friend with two boys a year apart had a little gym set up in her garage and would take them out there every day before dinner. You don’t need special equipment for this, there are tons of at home ideas on Pinterest.

Also, if the house is getting trashed by the 3yo, he has access to too many toys. Try rotating toys and putting some in storage bins, out of sight. Swap them out every couple of weeks. Set expectations that everyone cleans up after each activity, or does a quick tidying every hour, whatever works best for you.

Exacty. I’m just not sure why people don’t get this. If parents want things to change, no empty threads. Consequence, and follow through everytime and take back your house. Things will definitely change, and you’ll be less exhausted because you don’t have to put so much into behavior type things. It’s just amazing how so many people have little ones running the place. Btw, no need to raise your voice ever. Just simply give warning, consequence. Follow through

[Anonymous]

Any destructive or physically aggressive behavior gets a time out. Op, you need to discipline your three year old and train him on how to behave in your home and with his brother. Pushing, shoving, breaking Lego structures. Time out. Watch/read old super nanny instructions on time outs and implement them with clear exp stations. Don't use them for every issue, but specific ones.