Hosted a holiday party for our kids friends tonight

[Anonymous]

The other parents’ behavior was rude in the ask and in the late arrival.

[Anonymous]

Hi, op here. Their kids are ages 6 and 9. My kids are 3, 7, and 10. My 3 and 7 year old usually go to sleep at 8:30 on weekends. Kids were not picked up until 9:30, my kids were not asleep until 10 and up at 6am today like they always are 🤪

Not sure why it matters, but the issue was not the ask in itself (sure, no problem.) but the staying out an hour past when they would pick up their kids and texting a mild apology. Like, cmon man.

[Anonymous]

It was bad that they were late, but this is not a big deal at all. You invited the kids for a party and the parents asked for an extra hour (and you agreed). I would be a little annoyed they were late because I am always on time, but other than that, this is not a big deal and I would not feel taken advantage of:

[Anonymous]

It is a one time thing and they were plopped in front of the TV. Big deal. This would not annoy me to the point where I make a post about it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi, op here. Their kids are ages 6 and 9. My kids are 3, 7, and 10. My 3 and 7 year old usually go to sleep at 8:30 on weekends. Kids were not picked up until 9:30, my kids were not asleep until 10 and up at 6am today like they always are 🤪

Not sure why it matters, but the issue was not the ask in itself (sure, no problem.) but the staying out an hour past when they would pick up their kids and texting a mild apology. Like, cmon man.

Would you have agreed to watch their kids for 2 extra hours if they had asked upfront (as opposed to them asking 1 hr upfront + 1 hr of being late)?

Perhaps in the future, don't sound so cheery or laid back about watching their kids extra long. They probably figure it was no big deal b/c your text gave off the vibe of being so nonchalantly texting "sure, no problem".

[Anonymous]

Rude to be an hour late, but I’m someone who is terrible at leaving places and saying goodbye. I can imagine them getting caught up, losing track of time, and then suddenly it’s an hour later. Not at all an excuse. You did a nice favor for them, and they owe you a big favor now in return!

Any reason you couldn’t get your 3-year-old into bed, at least?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People, it wasn’t an hour of the party. It was an extra hour after the two-hour extension they asked for. I can’t believe some of you think this is remotely OK.

I have never once—not once—been even 10 minutes late to pick up my kids from daycare, school, a play date, a birthday party, an overnight visit with grandma, etc. There is no excuse. Rude beyond.

OP and her husband were put on the spot, graciously agreed to do some free babysitting AND THEN were used for an extra hour by user parents who weren’t in the OR saving a life or at the funeral home making arrangements for grandma’s funeral, they were at a party.

Drop those users, OP.

You’re right. I’m a PP who said it wasn’t great behavior but shit happens. But you remind us that they basically picked their kids up three hours after the party ended. When OP has three kids if her own, was probably looking forward to relaxing after hosting a bunch of kids, and then spent time wondering when the heck the parents were going to finally arrive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi, op here. Their kids are ages 6 and 9. My kids are 3, 7, and 10. My 3 and 7 year old usually go to sleep at 8:30 on weekends. Kids were not picked up until 9:30, my kids were not asleep until 10 and up at 6am today like they always are 🤪

Not sure why it matters, but the issue was not the ask in itself (sure, no problem.) but the staying out an hour past when they would pick up their kids and texting a mild apology. Like, cmon man.

Wait, so now they were 30 mins late? And you’re angry about the extra work of having them sit and watch a movie, srsly? I wouldn’t have thought twice about this. But just say no next time!

[Anonymous]

My kids friends parents and friends watch each other’s kids often, and are very laid back about it. There was a one set of parents who never keeps to stated pickup times. They’re just flaky and disorganized, not ill-intentioned. So I take that into consideration when deciding whether to watch their kids and am clear about boundaries, nbd.

[Anonymous]

They were a half hour late. Sometimes it’s hard to leave a party. You are uptight and should have just said no. Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Your 10 year old doesn't go to bed at 830 and the 3 yr old isn't a playmate of the 6 and 9 year old. You're being awfully dramatic about 30 minutes. Don't be so uptight. Are you complaining about an hour past a toddler's bedtime or an hour late for picking up? The story has changed.

[Anonymous]

There is a big difference between age 3 and 6. If a 6yo stays up a little late, no big deal. 10pm for a 3yo. Not ok.

I have 3 kids and my youngest is 5. I would be annoyed if they were late but the big kids could hang out alone in front of a tv.

The problem is they probably can’t/won’t reciprocate because watching your little one is not the same as taking 2 elementary kids so you can get a date night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi, op here. Their kids are ages 6 and 9. My kids are 3, 7, and 10. My 3 and 7 year old usually go to sleep at 8:30 on weekends. Kids were not picked up until 9:30, my kids were not asleep until 10 and up at 6am today like they always are 🤪

Not sure why it matters, but the issue was not the ask in itself (sure, no problem.) but the staying out an hour past when they would pick up their kids and texting a mild apology. Like, cmon man.

I'm really confused why someone watching TV meant your 3 year old couldn't go to bed.

[Anonymous]

It's funny, OP, because for me the hour-late pickup would have been mildly irksome, but traffic and everything is so crazy this time of year that unless this was a pattern, I would assume time just got away from them, and I would have rolled with it, NBD.

For me, though, that was a rude ask in the first place. Unless I'm misunderstanding, it doesn't sound like -- oh something unexpected came up, they found themselves in a pinch, etc.... it sounds like they just wanted their kid to stay several extra hours at a party so they didn't have to get a babysitter for their own adult event. It's cool now to invite your kid over for a playdate at someone else's house to avoid babysitting fees? And to do it last minute after the hostess has already been hosting a kid party all day? Seems entitled and obnoxious to me.

[Anonymous]

I do this type of thing gladly (even having my kids stay up a bit past their bedtime) so that the next time I have a conflict, like when I have to work on the night of scouts or when we have someplace to go, that generally one of the friends whose kid I've watched will be willing to step up and cover for me. Our house is the big house where many of my kids and their friends collect at. Originally, I watched other kids more than others have watched mine. But when I needed someone to help, I found multiple people who stepped up and were glad to watch my kids and take care of them.

My father always taught me that when you are able, you do good things for other people. When you need, then people will step up to help you out. I'm in my 50s and my father's advice has been good for me. I also teach my kids the same thing and even in ES, they've found the same thing. They good things at school for other kids and generally when they need something, other kids volunteer to help my kids out, even kids that normally won't volunteer to help others have done this for my kids. I believe that to have a village, you need to be part of that village, even if it means you start out giving more than you get.