Hosted a holiday party for our kids friends tonight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi, op here. Their kids are ages 6 and 9. My kids are 3, 7, and 10. My 3 and 7 year old usually go to sleep at 8:30 on weekends. Kids were not picked up until 9:30, my kids were not asleep until 10 and up at 6am today like they always are 🤪

Not sure why it matters, but the issue was not the ask in itself (sure, no problem.) but the staying out an hour past when they would pick up their kids and texting a mild apology. Like, cmon man.

Wait, so now they were 30 mins late? And you’re angry about the extra work of having them sit and watch a movie, srsly? I wouldn’t have thought twice about this. But just say no next time!

Yeah 30 minutes late isn't as big a deal especially if there was traffic or other issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's funny, OP, because for me the hour-late pickup would have been mildly irksome, but traffic and everything is so crazy this time of year that unless this was a pattern, I would assume time just got away from them, and I would have rolled with it, NBD.

For me, though, that was a rude ask in the first place. Unless I'm misunderstanding, it doesn't sound like -- oh something unexpected came up, they found themselves in a pinch, etc.... it sounds like they just wanted their kid to stay several extra hours at a party so they didn't have to get a babysitter for their own adult event. It's cool now to invite your kid over for a playdate at someone else's house to avoid babysitting fees? And to do it last minute after the hostess has already been hosting a kid party all day? Seems entitled and obnoxious to me.

They probably asked for their kids to stay bc the parties overlapped and a babysitter wouldn’t be doable. They would just have to miss OP’s party all together and stay home with babysitter. I am thinking OP’s party was 5-8 and their party was 6-9 or so then traffic and goodbyes and such.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, def rude to arrive an hour past pick up but you kind of lose the right to complain this much when you agreed to babysit.

That would have been a fast no from most people

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP, hope your kids enjoyed the party and I know it’s frustrating to be taken advantage of. Did you know these parents were supposed takers? Now you do, and since you bit once, they will definitely ask again. Just in case you need a reminder, be prepared to say no and don’t allow them to dictate plans. They might suggest a play date and then when you say yes, they will say, “Perfect, I will drop my kids off tomorrow afternoon”. If you are put on the spot, just say, “That won’t work for us”.

This. I was kind and fell for a mom "taker" once and ended up with kid a full day (was called on the spot and asked to help out with a sports conflict for other kid; supposed to be going to the movies and getting a snack), and dinner, and afterwards. My kid was friends with kid, but not close, have all day and into the evening type friends. I was far more careful with subsequent, "are you going to the xzy...any chance for a ride and playdate afterwards" and similar requests. No that does not work, felt bad to say in the moment, but in the end it was the best route.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you are so kind to do that! seriously a lot of people would have said no. i also would've said sure. i feel pressured in those situations.

Learning to say"no" is one of life's most important lessons. The other couple would be persona non grata with me for life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi, op here. Their kids are ages 6 and 9. My kids are 3, 7, and 10. My 3 and 7 year old usually go to sleep at 8:30 on weekends. Kids were not picked up until 9:30, my kids were not asleep until 10 and up at 6am today like they always are 🤪

Not sure why it matters, but the issue was not the ask in itself (sure, no problem.) but the staying out an hour past when they would pick up their kids and texting a mild apology. Like, cmon man.

Wait, they were only 30 minutes late? And they apologized? I get being mildly annoyed, but i don't understand being that wound up about it.

[Anonymous]

I think you might have put them in a tough place. They had a holiday party to attend and would have probably had a babysitter. But you invited them to your son's holiday party and kids wanted to go. They probably left their holiday party early too to pick up.

I wouldn't do this to other people, but don't think it's a big deal

[Anonymous]

OP, what time was your party?

Did the kids stay 2 hours beyond? 30 min. beyond?

Are you friends with the parents and do they do you favors?

Context matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you might have put them in a tough place. They had a holiday party to attend and would have probably had a babysitter. But you invited them to your son's holiday party and kids wanted to go. They probably left their holiday party early too to pick up.

I wouldn't do this to other people, but don't think it's a big deal

OP did not put them in a tough position place. They could have declined the invitation. Or hired a babysitter to pick them up and watch them afterwards. Or asked another friend with kids at the party to drop her own kids off and then have the babysitter be at home by the time they arrived. That’s what I would have done unless I were close friends with OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They were a half hour late. Sometimes it’s hard to leave a party. You are uptight and should have just said no. Sheesh.

It really isn’t. “We have to go pick up our kids on time. Good night!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, def rude to arrive an hour past pick up but you kind of lose the right to complain this much when you agreed to babysit.

That would have been a fast no from most people

Uh, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you might have put them in a tough place. They had a holiday party to attend and would have probably had a babysitter. But you invited them to your son's holiday party and kids wanted to go. They probably left their holiday party early too to pick up.

I wouldn't do this to other people, but don't think it's a big deal

This is what I was thinking. The party times over-lapped. Their party likely started at some point in the middle of your party. Finding a babysitter around those logistics might not have been possible. I would have picked one party or the other and not have attempted to do both. But I don't think this was a huge deal either. They watched TV. You could have put your 3 yr old to sleep at any time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, what time was your party?

Did the kids stay 2 hours beyond? 30 min. beyond?

Are you friends with the parents and do they do you favors?

Context matters.

Op here- hi, surprised people are still commenting on this. In between meetings but can reply quickly. Kids stayed 3 hours I believe past party and then the one parent (other parent was out of town) was an 45min- hour late picking them up.

I’m over it now. Just rude in the moment. Also, since then, another friend asked me to drop her 3 school aged kids off one evening so she could do some shopping. I was like, uhm, I have my own kids 😒. Not sure what vibes I am giving out to attract these requests!

[Anonymous]

Party was 2.5 hours, after was 4 hours (favor), parent was an hour late. So do that math 😜