child getting Cs and Ds as new student in MS, asked to seek better fit for HS?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My oldest DS started at a Big 3 in middle school and got mostly Bs, with some Cs. We asked him if he wanted to leave for another school or public, but he wanted to stay. His grades improved significantly in high school and he ended up at an Ivy for college and law school. All's well that ends well? Maybe, but the middle school teachers and administrators were useless and the upper school not much better. Basically, our kid clawed his way out of the academic hole without any support. We sent our younger child to a non-Big 3, which was a totally different experience -- teachers were kind, encouraging and had lots of strategies to offer when our child needed support. College placement was also excellent and DC is now a thriving college sophomore. Bottom line for us: Big 3, schmig 3.

Same thing for my DD- but was getting Ds + 1 F. Ended up at HYP for undergrad + Stanford MBA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Switching to a new school would just be running from the problem and kicking the cam down the road. My 7th grader at a top 5 school (where 7th is an entry year) said the new kids from public get a’s on anything that involved memorization or graded homework but are really struggling with long term projects and presentations and writing. They have a lot of group projects and it’s noticeable. Thankfully their school provides lots of support and I know from my older kid that by the time these kids entered 9th they are caught up. I’d approach the school and am surprised that your child has not and that the school is not already working with him. If they are not then that’s a poor reflection on the school and you’re in a tough spot bc it will be hard to apply out w/ those grades.

That's odd because it is the exact opposite in our experience. The public school was lots of group projects and individual projects and presentations. Traditional quizzes and tests or needing to show you actually learned the material was rare. So in private school they struggle with tests, pop quizzes, memorization (one kid said he'd never had to memorize anything before).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless your kid has strong feelings about staying, I would look around for a better fit. No one WANTS to get all Cs and Ds. Test for learning differences to ensure you aren’t missing anything and find somewhere your child can succeed academically and socially. Find an environment that actually can provide some support, rather than just counseling out. Kid doesn’t have to be an academic superstar, but needs to perform at least at the average level to ensure mastery of the material.

+1 This! Every child cannot be top of class or an academic superstar but every child can find an appropriate academic fit, based on their abilities. This school appears not to be it, and that's ok! Explore options for the remainder of this application season and simultaneously, take the steps to identify their areas of growth and sources of performance challenges. Figure out precisely what is going wrong, devise an academic support plan to fix it, and then move on to a more suitable school. Best of luck along the way; I can only imagine that this is stressful for both child and parent. Hang in there!

Or they can stay and be really popular. High achievers should thank the kid who helps the curve for everyone else

Right? Is there a school where no one is given a C ever?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless your kid has strong feelings about staying, I would look around for a better fit. No one WANTS to get all Cs and Ds. Test for learning differences to ensure you aren’t missing anything and find somewhere your child can succeed academically and socially. Find an environment that actually can provide some support, rather than just counseling out. Kid doesn’t have to be an academic superstar, but needs to perform at least at the average level to ensure mastery of the material.

I agree about testing for learning differences. 2e kids are often missed prior to middle school or even high school.

But I struggle with this idea that moving to a different school will mean better grades. Or maybe I struggle with the reality that it probably will. Are you shopping for grade inflation? Is the academic experience significantly weaker? If nothing about the child changes, but the academic performance suddenly does, doesn't that seem off? It is no wonder people say GPA cannot be a true measure of achievement across different schools.

So is it better to get a stronger education, but weaker grades, than a weak education and straight As?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless your kid has strong feelings about staying, I would look around for a better fit. No one WANTS to get all Cs and Ds. Test for learning differences to ensure you aren’t missing anything and find somewhere your child can succeed academically and socially. Find an environment that actually can provide some support, rather than just counseling out. Kid doesn’t have to be an academic superstar, but needs to perform at least at the average level to ensure mastery of the material.

I agree about testing for learning differences. 2e kids are often missed prior to middle school or even high school.

But I struggle with this idea that moving to a different school will mean better grades. Or maybe I struggle with the reality that it probably will. Are you shopping for grade inflation? Is the academic experience significantly weaker? If nothing about the child changes, but the academic performance suddenly does, doesn't that seem off? It is no wonder people say GPA cannot be a true measure of achievement across different schools.

So is it better to get a stronger education, but weaker grades, than a weak education and straight As?

Impersonalized teaching + challenging evaluation can = poor grades and = weak education.

+1 MS with weak grades and onto Stanford. Maybe what’s being revealed is Stanford takes weak students?

Or more likely reveal weak / strong students don’t exist on a 1-dimensional spectrum in a linear scale.

[Anonymous]

[list]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not the end of the world, OP, even though it is a bad feeling right now. The school wants your child to succeed. I know several kids with lots of “Ds” in middle school that switched out at 9th from my kids Big3. In fact, one DC ended up at the same college as their friend that was counseled out! One counseled out kid ended up at a far better ranked college.

Look to Burke, Field, local public, Madeira and the various Catholic high schools. I know kids that switched to these schools successfully. Several also went to easier boarding schools to much success. Another tip - I wish we had considered schools without the athletic requirement because that made school work a lot more stressful for my DC once in high school.

I'm truly astonished at how much these "top" schools counsel out. It makes me very skeptical of these schools and unlikely to apply.

Why are you surprised? The start accepting kids in kindergarten. The can may guesses and try, but there really is no way of knowing if a six year old will be a good student when they are 14. They can easy create an easy lifer track in high school or just counsel out their mistakes.

+1. I know many siblings (second or third children) who were counseled in MS. Some stayed and some left. Of those who stayed, all went to respectable schools - Kenyon, Trinity, etc. Say what you will, but sometimes it’s best for a child to leave. You don’t want your child to constantly feel like a failure when they are doing quality academic work and getting B’s, maybe an occasional C, all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone been in this situation at a "big three"? Did your child end up staying or did they leave for a less academically intense school?

I am surprised if this is your situation at at “Big Three” that you have not already spoken with an academic support counselor. You should be getting early intervention before your kids ends up with Cs and Ds on their report card in MS.

At the very least you should be getting recommendations for tutoring and perhaps also an LD assessment.

If changing schools is the right choice for you kid, the MS principal/head in concert with the academic support team should/would be in contact with you to make that recommendation.

This has to be a troll post because I find it impossible that a kid has gotten a C or D in a class, not just a test, and multiple ones and there has not already been outreach.

[Anonymous]

If college outcomes matter to you I would definitely switch.
A B/C student at a big 3 is in a terrible situation for college as their GPA will be low.
As we are seeing in college admissions with test optional GPA really matter.
Take the higher grades and alllow your child to also have higher confidence in themselves
Don’t force a kid into an environment that does not necessarily work for them. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If college outcomes matter to you I would definitely switch.
A B/C student at a big 3 is in a terrible situation for college as their GPA will be low.
As we are seeing in college admissions with test optional GPA really matter.
Take the higher grades and alllow your child to also have higher confidence in themselves
Don’t force a kid into an environment that does not necessarily work for them. Good luck.

+2 My DC is a B (with a few Cs) student at a big 3. ACT score is great. College outcomes have been pretty bad so far. Rejected by two schools the college counselors identified as likely/safeties. I really wished my DC went to an easier school with grade inflation.

[Anonymous]

OP, is this your child’s first year in a middle school environment where they are switching classes? Is the problem difficulties learning the material/doing the work or more just turning the work in/remembering to do the work at all or both? Middle school is a huge leap from elementary school, and many kids struggle with the executive functioning aspects even if they are intellectually capable of doing the work. If the problem is mostly executive functioning, you can (and need to) work in developing those skills, but that’s probably not a reason to leave the school.

[Anonymous]

Cs and Ds in MS spell disaster in US without major changes. MS is "easy" compared to 9th-grade expectations and Cs and Ds on a transcript to college basically eliminate any top 50 schools even if its "just 9th-grade" and those Cs and Ds arent magically turning into Bs.

[Anonymous]

i urge you to switch schools. My son was in an a similar situation although slightly better grades so not counseled out. I WISH WE HAD LEFT. My son's confidence was destroyed. Being in the bottom third of the class is not good for the mental health of boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought private schooll is good for the not so brilliant student. Does the school not know how to teach?
Your kid will get lost in a crowded public where nobody cares, new kids are bullied and teachers do not have a lot of resources. C and D is not too bad. At a public high the grades will be D and E

Some do pretty poor instruction. But that’s where the 3-4 hours of self teaching homework helps each night!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cs and Ds in MS spell disaster in US without major changes. MS is "easy" compared to 9th-grade expectations and Cs and Ds on a transcript to college basically eliminate any top 50 schools even if its "just 9th-grade" and those Cs and Ds arent magically turning into Bs.

Not true in our experience (last year).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone been in this situation at a "big three"? Did your child end up staying or did they leave for a less academically intense school?

If you are in 6th grade. Get a tutor, learn study skills and give it another year. If you are in 8th grade, you might not want to risk it-> make a move. Depending on the kid and what their appetite is for a large crowded public, I'd be prepared to go public with supports.